My least favorite books are:
-Friedrich--the worst book about the Holocaust-or anything else-I've ever read. There is no plot. Friedrich in a nutshell: 3 or 4 things happen to show the growing persecution of Jews, some historically inaccurate things happen and then Friedrich dies.

-The Girl Who owned a City--Lisa is evil!

-Sherlock Holmes--confusing and boring

-The Bridge to Terabithia

-Genius Games--plotless

-Rascal--soooo boring, I couldn't get through the first chapter

-lord of the rings--dull, but i WILL read them all...eventually

Aye...I have read some really terrible books in my days.

This year, my school curriculum mandated that we read The Old Man and the Sea by Earnest Hemmingway. I, for one, found it unbearable. I tried very hard to enjoy it because I know it is considered a "classic," but I just found it unbearable. I guess that "unbearableness" is the theme Hemmingway was going for to convey how intolerable the lives of Santiago (the "Old Man") and the other fishermen are. Bleckh.

Last year, my school 'forced' us to read John Steinbeck's The Pearl. Once again, definitely an American classic. But it did not capture my attention in any way. My teacher even warned us about how much we would hate the book before we got our lives sucked out of us for reading it.

Now when are they putting the Harry Potter series into our curriculum!?




_daviD

Teehee, I completely agree with you, David. HP will be a classic soon!

Misty of Chincotigue--Soooooo dull.

Rascal--No plot.

My Side of the Mountain--Even less plot.

Sounder--Too depressing.

Irish Red--Too goopy and sappy.

National Velvet--Although the plot and story themselves are good, it's difficult to understand because of the way the author wrote it.

Call of the Wild--Same reasons as above.

Brave New World--Rather disturbing, weak plot.

I like most books I read, so I won't have much more to say about this...

~Gerry's Gurl~

You guys have great taste in bad books -- I agree with you on nearly every single one of them.

I read "The Bridge to Terabithia" when I was much younger -- in fourth grade or so -- and though I don't remember the plot at all, I remember hating it. And everyone else in my class seemed to love it so much... those people need some serious help with their taste.

I've never read "The Old Man and the Sea," but I can believe that it's horrible. Anything by Hemingway is horrible. "The Sun Also Rises" is horrible as well. Maybe I would find it less objectionable if I understood all the sex references, but as it is....

And while we're at it, "The Pearl" made me practically suicidal. I read it in seventh grade... very, very bad book. Some of the other classes had to read "Of Mice and Men," but I was fortunate enough to be spared the pain. I did read "The Red Pony," though, and it was equally bad. I think "The Grapes of Wrath" is supposed to be good, but other than that, Steinbeck is another one to steer clear of.

I used to read "The Black Stallion," "National Velvet," "Black Beauty," "Misty of Chincoteague" and all the associated Marguerite Henry stories when I went through my overly-romanticized pretty little horse stories era (a phase that ended when I got seriously depressed over the ending of "My Friend Flicka" ), but I tried to re-read "Black Beauty" a while ago and it made me feel a little sick. "Seabiscuit" is the only way to go so far as horse books are concerned.

To add my own least favorites to the list... anything written by Toni Morrison. I've read "Song of Solomon" and "Beloved" (both for school), and I hate them with a burning passion. *shudder* You can tell that she's trying out all this complicated symbolism and whatnot, but it goes completely over my head. The books are plotless and generally awful. Also, don't try anything by Fannie Flagg, Jared Diamond, or Sir Philip Sidney (yes, my reading hates are quite eclectic).

First of all:

The Little Prince
OH god it's so boring. After I have read the very first page, I threw it away.

CHinese CInderella
THa stupid Adeline girl loves to wallow in sef-pity and tell other people how sad was her childhood.

The Old man and the sea

wow. a lot of people dont like the old man and the sea. I do not blame you. For our 7th grade book lists, we had to choose a book to read for each quarter, and my mum made me choose old man and the sea, and she said it was her favorite book, but I couldnt read it. IT WAS SOOOOOO BOOORING! I had no clue how my mum once enjoyed that stupid book. I kept re-reading it, but nothing sunk in. How do they consider that horrible book to be a 'classic'? yeah....right...

I also couldnt read the scarlet pimpernil. i tried, but just like old man, nothing sunk in.

Hiya,
lol..Chinese Cinderella is not that bad btu you're right I suppose...but it is true after all! I would havve liked it more if some one else had written it...
I think Lord of the Rings is boring..and i absolutely hate it..im sorry for all those who are mad about it but i cant even stand it! But after all people have different tastes

I feel like a really Humbug here but this is my list:

His Dark Materials- If you want religious pantomime, read V.S. Napuiel (sp?)

Eragon- I could really tell how old he was.

A Short Walk In The Hindu Kush- Started well but ot bogged down in sincerity.

The Da Vinci Code- Not for me i guess. Poorly written, poorly researched and blatant plaigerism.

The Harry Potter Series- They're just sooo bad...

Oh yeah, I hated the DaVinci Code too. What plagerism is there, though? And I didn't like His Dark Materials either.

There's this wole big trial about the writers of a book called 'The Holy Blood and The Holy Grail' who are suing Dan Brown, becuause coincidentally his book has a very similar plot to theres....ummm...i can't feel any sympathy for Dan Brown, you reap what you sow...

Wow. I'm finding a lot of places I disagree with you guys. Of course, I totally agree about "Of Mice and Men", it was not for me (I really don't like it when there's so much bad language in a book). But Eragon? I never finished, I don't remember why (probably because I felt like a was betraying my beloved Harry ) but I liked it a lot. I also think it's cool that it was written and published by someone so young, because I wrote a novel, but I haven't submitted it anywhere.
And I find history and historical fiction totally fascinating. Yeah, there can be really boring ones, but for the most part, that's the way to go. I just found after reading Harry Potter that not many fantasies can compare (although Eragon and Lord of the Rings were still pretty sweet). Actually, when it comes to Lord of the Rings, the Fellowship gets really slow and boring, but the other two are amazing. And I've never read the DaVinci Code, nor do I plan to, but I think I'll see the movie, mostly because I'm curious.
My least favorite book of all time: "The Face on the Milk Carton" ---ugh!

I actually don't know the names of the books in english, but I know the author...

Frank Kafka, he desperates me...

In english his books must be like 'The Metamorphosis' (sp?), 'The Process' (sp?), 'The Judgement' or something...

His books describes very very long, and that makes it boring...

Kafka's books are the only books which have deserved to be thrown out the widnow by me...

I love to read, but he drives me mad...

In the Metamorphosis is just suffering for me...

The Process and The Judgement are a series (of 3 books, I forgot the 3rd) and it's all the same...

Ever~

Gack, I'm just gasping at breath, David, that you found anything Hemingway unbearable! I'll just read more of him for the both of us. (Love Hemingway . . . well, his writing anyways. The guys was kind of nuts.)

Eragon-well, that one was so-so. . .It didn't enthrall me as much as I had expected, and I too could tell that it was a young author. The second in the series was better, but still a little tedious in places.

The Crimson Petal and the White-Subject matter is extremely adult-still shouldn't be read by a younger audience. It's gotten a lot of praise, but I just couldn't figure out why! It read like a man trying to write about a "professional" woman's feelings and attitudes. It was only slightly interesting, but I thought it was a terrible book.

One I read in high school was something like "Don't Step on my Eyeball." It was just plain stupid. hmm. . .the title might not be right there, but it had Eyeball in it.

Books 3-700 of the Left Behind series: Yeah, I read them ALL. It's my insane idea that I can't start a thing and not finish it, especially a series. Sigh. At any rate, when you're actually wanting everyone to die in the end, it's not a good sign.

That's all for now. . .those are the most forefront in my mind.

You know what's really freaking me out about these comments?

I am 44-freaking-years-old, and the same books you young people hate and that they force you to read for school are the same awful books I hated and was forced to read for school! What is up with that? That is truly demented.

What do they think--that no good literature has been written in the last 40 years? I guess mental torture is still a part of the American school system...

The ones I didn't like the most were the stories of Jack London and John Conrad.

Oh, and I tried to read Jane Austen's Persuasion and it put me to sleep. Love the movie, with Amanda Root, the book itself was a yawn. I would be toasted alive by Austenians for saying that, I know, but there it is. And then there's Kafka's The Metamorphosis which I was forced to read in university. Bleh. I know it's a metaphor, but still. The guy turns into a bug!

Ooh fun thread!

Ok well
Bridge to Teribithia was absolutley awful and boring, yeah.
Vampire kisses is the most cliched book I have ever read and can't stand that.
Cold Sassy tree is boring and just sad.
And yep those are my most hated books.

Hey!!!
Eragon is great and DA vinci code is too!!! They both have amazingly surprising plots and endings like HP---not that they are better tha it.

Oh what a lovely thread! Hahahahah!

I have to agree David - Hemmingway is AWFUL! I remember in High School having to read Old Man and the Sea, and it was sooo boring that I couldnt stand it (and I will pretty much read anything as long as I know the language). My friends and I divided up the book and each of us read a part and told the others about it (not much to tell really) so we would be spared the pain of the boringness!
And for Hemmingway's other books - they are all so boring and depressing... and each time something looks like it will be happy, the person DIES! Argh!

Yes, I too hate the DaVinci Code - I could only force myself to read a couple of chapters before I had to stop reading it. It was so poorly written and so blatently copied from other sources it made me ill. I don't know why it is so popular - except maybe people enjoy reading total tosh.

Other books/stories I love to hate:
Rudyard Kippling - especially his "White Man's Burden". Argh! That sooo angered me in history class.
Kafka - I have to agree with Everseer he is PAINFUL to read in English (and in German).
Jane Austin, the Bronte Sister's works, Little Women, and all those sorts of books about "Romace", "Romanticism" and women in the 1700-1800s. yech. Makes me QUITE ILL!
Ethan Frome - anytime there is cousin-love, I want to vomit. It makes me think of the stereotype of Southern United States life.
Bless Me Ultima - a horrid story I had to read in University that should *only* be read by drunk people - otherwise it would never be read.
The Lord of the Rings trilogy - I know they are really loved by some people, but I gotta say I liked the movies much better. He annoys me because he spends a page or two descibing something ultimately unimportant in detail - and that makes me lose intrest.
Tolstoy novels - they are so long (even longer than most Russian Literature) and tedious and booooring. As passerby noted, its bad when you want everyone in the novel to die or go insane (which typically happens anyway in Russian lit ).

I can't think of any more at the mo... but I am sure Ill think of more.

I love your honesty. I've never read it, I'm uncertain wether to or not. I'm a Christian, so it is completely against everything I beleve in, but I can't say it's completely wrong and why if I've never read it. But anyhow.

Enid Blyton Such hordes of repetitive, unbeleivable, upper class snobbery has never been before, and I hope never will become presant in the future.

Jane Austen I'm sorry JKR, I am dissing your faverout auther here. I tried reading Pride and Prejudice, I forced myself into reading about 22 chapters and nothing whatsoever happened. I kept on past chapter one because I thought 'Something must happen now come on!' but it never did so I cave up in the end. Serriously. 22 chapters of 'Oh, Mr Darcy is an unaggreable man! Oh yes, he really is!' times 3 billion. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Oh my! *Clutches heart!* Enid Blyton and Jane Austen?! They practically raised me!

Can't agree with you there, I'm sorry . And skater said Tolkien too... Wow, my heart's going that fast! Not that you guys aren't allowed your opinions, of course , but I love those books.

One book I really found soul-shrimpling was Gone With the Wind. Geez, why is the herione such as a flighty, unsympathetic and uncultured flirt? And you have to put up with her for the whole book? Nah, I couldn't get past page 40 - and I handled Tolkien with ease. Though I must say - the Silmarillion was slightly impossible too.

Another extremely pointless book was Animal Farm. I can't stand allegories! I love history and I'm very interested in the Russian Revolution, but that was just horrible.

Anyway, I'm off to make me some coffee to calm my frailed nerves... poor Enid and Jane... Nah, just messing!



EDIT: Oh, just remembered - I can't stand Lemony Snicket either - I read the beginning. Such patronising writing, but maybe I'm too old for that. (Sounds weird, I'm only 18). I thought that maybe it was as accesible to older readers as HP. Turned out it wasn't.

Well, basically all the books I hate are ones that got assigned to me for English reading.

I did not like The Metamorphasis. Geez, what a waste of my time. Who wants to read about a guys turning into a bug and how his family is a bunch of heartless wackos?? ZzZzZzZzZz....

And I really didn't like Brave New World. I thought it didn't have a real strong plot. I felt like it skipped around all over the place and didn't focus on one thing. That book has ADHD. And it was boring and weird.

I don't really have a problem with Of Mice and Men, even though there was some bad language, but it wasn't real excessive and way out of content. I liked that book. And we just finished reading Catcher in the Rye, and I really like that book. But now I'm becoming like Brave New World and getting off the point...

I read Rascal in fifth grade for a program we have called Accelerated Reader. That was a complete waste of time because I didn't even understand that book at the time.

And to tell the truth, I used to loathe Harry Potter. I tried to read it in fifth grade, but put it promptly back on my shelf because it was so boring. But what can I say?? I was young and naive. And now I'm reading all of them! And they are freaking awesome!!!

You don't like Lemony Snicket? You don't like Lemony Snicket?
Looks like we have really different taste in books there! Not that it's a bad thing, I just absolutely love Series of Unfortunate Events. I'm not sure what I like best, HP or that. My brother loves them too, and he's 18. Although he has never been what you might call normal. Bit like lemony Snicket then...

Oh yeah, THe Face on the Milk Carton is one of my least favorite books. It's so small but it just drags on and on.

Gone with the wind? HOw can you not like that book? I read it in 5th grade and like it-Scarlett was pretty bad though.

It does look like that, eh? Funny, and yet we're on this site because of a series of books we both do like - ironic, innit?



It's so looooong! But ok, that's no excuse, LOTR is long too. I dunno, just didn't tickle me. I've got a friend whose completely obsessed with that story - she's convinced she should have been Scarlett O'Hara/Vivien Leigh. (Can't figure out which one she's obsessed with... )

Hmm.. When I was about 10 years old, I absolutley loved Lemoney Snicket, but when the new book came out just a while ago, i got it form the libaray, and couldn't finsih it. I think that I have just outgrown them. But I am only 13.

One of the worst books ever is "My Cup Runneth Over, the Life of Angleica Cookson Potts" It was so utterly pointless and seemed to have no plot at all. It felt like an abosutley like an copy of the Lousie Rennison books, which are really don't have an plot either, but they make me laugh about every three pages.

Julie of the Wolves. I can't really put my finger on what I didn't like about this book, there was just something.

You guys didn't like the Da Vinci Code? I loved it, very exciting. But the ending wasn't as satasfiying as I had hoped.

I hate bad books but sometimes we all can't help but bump into them, whether we bought them from the bookstores thinking that they're good or worse, our teachers required us to read those books. much worse they even asked us to write a summary of the book. here's the list of the worst books I've read:

-the pearl by john steinbeck (hate it! )
-the alchemist by paulo coelho (i know its a best-seller but i'm not really into inspirational books)
-the gift of acabar by og mandino
-jonathan livingston seagull by richard back

Why do I love the bad books thread so much? I feel terrible, having fun talking about the books I hate and completely ignoring the ones that I do like!

The Hobbit -- Terrible. Haven't ever read anything else by Tolkien because of that book. HP is fantasy and I'm okay with it, but Tolkien was just way out-there fantasy, with non-human characters dominating the plot, etc. I respect that there's a huge following for fantasy (and I'm more than used to people making faces and nasty jokes about the books I like to read!), but IMO it's just sooo unrealistic that I can't relate to it at all. And it was long, and I read it when I was eleven. In retrospect, I think I was too young to appreciate it then, but I'm very narrowminded and don't believe in second chances for books.

Kafka -- Haven't read anything by him, but have heard horror stories. It sounds a little too weird/convoluted for my taste. And he seems like the sort of author that you just can't read for fun, like you need to be reading it in a course or something to have a clue about what's going on. Sort of similar to Hemingway in that respect.

Lemony Snicket -- I agree with Capricorn there. I read the first book because I thought it might be a kid's book that has an appeal with an older audience (not that I'm old by any means ), but I was wrong. The humor just didn't resonate with me. My sister and our friend, both of whom are hard-core into HP, are huge fans of A Series of Unfortunate Events, but I just didn't like it.

The Pearl -- Made me want to die, what more can be said? Read it when I was twelve and don't even remember what it was about... only that it was pretty much plotless and I despised it. Steinbeck, Hemingway, and Toni Morrison make up the list of authors who I'm never reading again as long as I live. If there's an English course with any one of them in the curriculum, I'm just dropping it. 'Nough said.

Reserving judgement on The DaVinci Code -- I started it this morning. We'll see how it goes. I've heard that it gets a little dense at parts, but just about everyone's read it and with the movie coming out I feel like I should be familiar with it just because most other people are.

ACK ALLIE!!! Not the Hobbit!!!! How can you hate the Hobbit!!!

Ok, both that and LOTR are very 'heavy reading'. You don't need to waffle for pages. But to call them BAD books?!?!?! But for people who couldn't read through LOTR, I always tell them to try Terry Brooks' Shannara Series. (Please noone now come in and say that they hated it--- I will just be mortified!)


I also liked the Da Vinci code--- but anyways


I HATED the Lemony Snicket books. I kept reading hoping that they'd get better and I will end up reading the last one I'm sure just to finish it. But I read them in about 15 minutes and they bore me. I just can't believe that they are so successful.

However the most boring of all bad books that I have read would have to have been Jane Eyre. I COULDN'T STAND IT! I had to read it as part of Year 12 English and by the time it got to the night before the 2nd assignment on it I was watching the video--- which I'd already fallen asleep in twice It was just a bad book. I don't like books that are so descriptive about a tree that they are still talking about it 2 pages later. It's not necessary. Give our imaginations a little credit.

I also didn't like the story itself. I like a lot of similar style stories (although may not have the same storyline)- Green Gables, Jane Austin's work etc- but this I just didn't enjoy. But the reading of it itself just wasn't enjoyable. It didn't get me wanting to turn the page, or stay up well past 2am trying to get it finished.

And if a book doesn't do that, then it's not worth reading a second time.

I have to agree Capricorn, I love Blyton and Austen....without Austen we'd have never seen Alan as Colonel Brandon and Colin as Mr. Darcy.

I found Lemony Snickett's very dull, I fell asleep after three pages.

I also found Steinbeck's the Red Pony awful and I'm really sorry to all the Tolkien fans but I really couldn't get in to the books. I did enjoy the films though.

i'm reading an italian books because i'm a italian girl, the titles are these:
ma le stelle quante sono?
3 metri sopra il cileo
i viaggi di gulliver
il codice da vinci and other

The worst book I ever read was Margaret Atwood's Bodily Harm. It was tedious, boring and just so drawn out. I had to read it as part of my first year uni ESL class. I didn't need the class, but seeing as how all my schooling up to that poit had been in French, I thought it might be helpful...

Anyway, I loved many of her other books, but that particular one was just horrid.

I don't beleive Lemony Snicket has such a hate club. It's bizzare. It's not dull at all! Every aspect is just the coolest. The way he is so original, he is actually a character in the books, not just the auther, and his random attempts to make you stop reading the book half way through so he can post a secret message in them and putting two completely black pages to describe falling down the elevator shaft. And Beatrice. Who is she! Arggggg. And you can't exactly complain about the length.
Enid Bligton is not defendable. She really isn't. I sort of see that some people like Jane Austin (JKR for one) but after the age of about 10 most people see that Enid Bligton simply needed to get out more. And quit writing reams and reams of absolute trollup.

It really is ironic that the reason we're here is because of books, I aggree with that one Capricorn!

I have read LOTR, they took ages to get into, but after that I was OK. It took me 5 days to read all 3, which is ages for me though. I wouldn't class htem as bad books, just um, hard to get into.

I also didn't like The Dark Materials books. I couldn't get into them at all. I know loads of people like them, but I really couldn't. Which makes three books/series that I struggles to get into in my whole life - Jane Austin, LOTR and The Dark Materials. But out of the amount of books I read, that is a very small number.

I have to admit, I've had trouble reading Tolkien's The Silmarillion as well, but I wouldn't say it is a bad book, just so rich and detailed that its hard to keep up with it all. Or maybe I'm just too simple-minded for it.

What I'm really seeing here is a disinclination for the literature of the earlier 20th-century, which is, we must admit, often very dismal in its outlook. That was what made it so cool when it was new--they thought--why does everything have to have a happy ending? Life doesn't always have a happy ending!

I haven't tried Lemony Snicket--I thought the movie was cute, or maybe just the kids were little cuties, I'm not sure, but I won't go now!

Thought of a few more...
The Princess Diaries. The first one was good, but they are just dragging on and Mia spends like a whole page each chapter just obsessing about what to get her boyfriend for his birthday... so boring!

Anne of Green Gables. It is so boring! We need some action!

Princess Diaries, well, I wouldn't class them as bad exactly, but it must be said, she needs to quite while she's only a little bit behind. Kill Mia off! Give her something to actually do for once! Please! Meg Cabots The Mediator series are really good though, she actually makes cool things happen in those, but The Princess Diaries, yeah, they only got worse from so - so.

Many years ago when I was at school we had to read Jack Londons White Fang in class, well that was an excuse to nod off for half an hour! I didn't get on with His Dark Materials and I know he's popular but I'm not a fan of anything I've tried by Terry Pratchett. I know what you mean about the Princess Diaries, I'm trying to read one of the books to my daughter and I just can't make it interesting for her.

There is such a thing as a bad book? I always thought books were doors that lead you into a new world. If you decide that, that world is not for you then you close it and leave. But I have always believed that books are the expression of someone's soul. They wrote that book to make others happy. AH well...*shrugs*....I am a romantic at heart, you know.


As for books, oh gosh, I can't name one that was bad. Love Bronte. Love all of Tolkein. (Though I agree about the Silmarillion...geez...that was hard to get through.) I loved The Metamorphasis too, Aubrey! (Maybe I am weird) Hmm...a book I didn't like...well, I never read Lemony Snicket. Never seemed interesting to a 20-something. But, it doesn't mean that I don't like it, because I have never read it. Therefore, have no judgement.

I think I need to think this over...I can notfind any book that I didn't like.

Wanna bet? Nah, I won't bore you with that but - you didn't like Secret Seven? Famous Five? The Faraway tree? The Mystery series? The Adventure series? Malory Towers? Noooooo!

How does one explain what one's childhood books meant to you? I would've been someone completely different if I hadn't met Peter, George and Timothy, Darrell, Gwendoline, Pip, Fatty, Bets... I'm not saying I'm still reading it - well, maybe I do sometimes have a quick glance , but I mean ... wow.

Well, the Silmarillion is still lying expectantly on my shelf with a bookmark in it somewhere...

My dad said that after reading Enid Blyton he felt like a freak because he didn't have adventures every three seconds in his school holidays. I remember him reading The Find-outer ones to me, he kept stopping and saying "That poor police officer! Can't they let him do his job in peace?" which was pretty hilarious. I remember doing a really hilarious spoof famous five play once with my family for some random occaison. it was absolutely rib crackingly hilarious. I'll have to find it somewhere, we must still have the script!

*searches for ages on the computer*

YES! IT'S HERE!!!: OK, when Timothy sais woof, imagine it really really unenthusiastic and depressed, when George talks imagine it played by a guy in a beard and a deep voice (My dad ), and when Annie speaks it's incredibly high pitch (Me in a blonde wig ), right?

Narrator - There has been many great and magnificent writers in Britains history.Chaucer, Milton, Shakespeare, Shelly, Keats, and of course, the founder of all British litriture...Enid Blyton! Here is a short summing up of one of her most celibrated works, the famous five! Please join in with the chorus of "Lashings and lashings of lemonade!"
George - Hello. I’m George, real name Georgina but I’m confused.
Julian - Hello. I’m Julian.
Anne - Hello. I’m Annie and I’m an empty-headed bimbo.
Dick - Hello. I’m Dick. I’m big for my age.
Narrator - And this is Timmy the dog.
Timmy - Woof.
Narrator - One day the Famous five have just arrived home from Boarding School and finished a hearty breakfast of 6 pigs, 4 bulls, 460 fried eggs, 1 ton of butter, 540 loaves of home baked bread and
Chorus - “Lashings and lashings of Lemonade!"

Narrator - When Annie touched the lion’s nose on the mantelpiece.
Anne - Oh look a secret passage has opened up before me.
Narrator - Dick stands up and bangs his head. He was tall for his age.
Dick - (stands up, rubs head) O look! Another secret passage.
Narrator - At this George thumped Julian on the nose.
George - Oh look! Another secret passage has opened up in the floor!
Narrator - As Julian collapsed in a blood soaked, crumpled heap on the floor guess what opened up under him?
Chorus - “Lashings and lashings of Lemonade!"
Narrator - To which Timmy replied
Timmy - Woof.
George - Lets follow the secret passage and have an adventure.
Julian - Errr
Dick - Oh Yar Let’s
Annie - I’m scared
Timmy - Woof
Narrator - The passage led them to Kirren Island.
Annie - O Look there’s a dirty, stinking working-class type. He must be a criminal. Let’s call the police.
George - I had better call the police using my Semaphore flags which I just happened to have on me. I learnt it in the Territorial SAS.
Annie - Look Timmy’s has backed them into a corner with his sharp teeth and fearsome bark.
Timmy - Woof.
Narrator - Then the police came and arrested the greasy looking chaps of the baser sort. They celebrated with -
Chorus - “Lashings and lashings of Lemonade!"
Narrator - That afternoon the Famous five went for a walk. It was hot and Timmy ran on along with his tongue dangling halfway down his legs.
Dick - Look those men over there look like foreigners.
Julian - They must be spies.
Annie - Let’s Listen. Ooh! I’m scared.
Spies - Yar swine Handy hock. Ve vill rule ze vorld.
George - Go get them Timmy.
Narrator - Timmy backed them into a corner with his sharp teeth and vicious bark
Timmy - Woof

Narrator - Just then MI5 arrived- they were all friends of Uncle Quentin.
"Well done Famous Five said J.M. Doon. You’ve cleared up 95% of all British crime."
They celebrated with a small % of Farmer Giles beef herd and
Chorus - “Lashings and lashings of Lemonade!"

ROFLMAO! *wipes tear away*

That was fun-ny I actually really liked Enid Blyton stories when I was a kid, which is why I can appreciate the parody, which is pretty spot on, I have to say!

But yeah, they are slightly dated now, which is a great shame really. I loved the adventure and mystery stuff which I still like today, although my reading tastes have expanded somewhat since then I'm not too sure whether some of her ideas are really applicable to society today and although I've tried to read some of the stuff to my nephew, he doesn't really engage with it like I did. It's a huge shame, really...I loved the Enchanted Chair, for example, but he was bored with it after about five seconds. He would rather me read Harry Potter to him! Ah well, can't fault his tastes there

Bad books though...mmm...well, if I thought a book was that bad, I would just put it down and not bother continuing with it. 'L.A Requiem' by Robert Crais would be one, the whole Lemony Snicket series...a lot of Roald Dahl's stuff. They're not really bad, because they wouldn't be so successful if they were. They just don't do a whole lot for me.

And Lord of the Rings - bored me to tears...sorry

In sixth grade we had to read this terrible book called "My Everest Story". It just plain sucked. Thank the lord we never finished it. It was so horribly written, I found myself wishing the main character would just fall off freain' Everest already.I never want to see that book again. The Lord of the Rings books are also quite dull. I finished the first but gave up halfway through the second. The movies are pretty good, though.

I can relate to how you feel Capricorn. Books from my childhood had a big influence on my life, they've allowed me to continue to dream even as an adult and now that I have children of my own I can relive the enjoyment that they held for me then with my children now and see them become what I was.

It looks to me as though everyone who has posted here has bad memories of the books that they were expected to read in school. I've previously mentioned Jack London White Fang and have remebered a couple more that I remember falling asleep to, that had absolutely no influence on my life at all. George Orwells Animal Farm - too deep, and William Goldsworthys Lord of the Flies. Also has anyone else noticed how all these books are very 'male'!! Were teachers really that sexist back in the seventies?

The seventies were still part of the breaking out of stereotypes women had placed upon them, watch Mona Lisa Smile and you'll get an idea of how life was in the 50's the start of the feminist movement. Sorry for being

I don't think you were off-topic at all! Because when I read ET's post, I was thinking to myself that, yeah, the '70s, but even in the '70s the school had us reading books which were at least 20 years old, so your thoughts of the '50s weren't off-base at all. Seems anything written in the time period in which someone actually lives isn't 'literary' enough, they always delve into the past. Even Lord of the Flies was from the early '60s, I think, and I remember having to read that when I was a schoolkid in the '70s.

ET--did you read the Little House series in England? That was about girls! lol But of course it was never assigned reading at school!

It just blows me away that school kids in 2006 are still reading Hemingway and Jack London and such for school assignments! Ack!

As far as the sexism goes, it's still bad. The premise is that girls will read books about boys, but boys will not read books about girls. There's this article also, about a group Geena Davis represents, that studies gender roles in modern media. It's a little off-topic, perhaps, but indicative of how little has changed for kids.

Would HP have been as popular with girls if Hermione had been relegated to girlfriend? But books and media are still predominantly male. Harry Potter is an extremely male-dominated tale, too, really--male hero, male sidekick, hero's roommates, hero's mentors...all male. Hermione is almost a token female presence. OK, now I really AM off-topic! Sorry. They are great books, of course, and they'd never land on the bad books list at VTM, but as far as 'male' goes--HP is no different from most.

So what is available about girls to read that everyone would read and call 'literature?'

The catcher in the rye is one of my least favorites. I think it is a) boring and useless. Some teenage madman reflecting on life *yawn*
I could name some german books we read in school but I really don't know the english titles though I'm quite convinced they have been translated

Hi Aethonon, No we didn't read the little house books either at school or at home. I am afraid that we were in Enid Blyton mode when I was a kid, which are girly in a way with their great names like Fanny and Betsy!!! I have read them to my own girls and although they are dated the stories have stood the test of time although my girls hated Noddy!!! Actually I think they would be banned for being politically incorrect in schools today. Sorry to anyone who reads this for going off topic again, I'll try not to do it again!!

I also hated the ABC Murders by Agatha Christie, which we had to read for school. I loved And THen There Were None, though.

Can you translate the titles, please?(just to see if any of the books were translated from/to English as well)

One of the worst books I had to read was The Giver. For one thing, it was extremely dull. The part where the nurses kill that baby was especially revolting and sad. Don't get me wrong, books with sad plots are okay but there has to be an uplifting moment for me or I usually hate it.

To Kill A Mockingbird wasn't one of my favorites either. I have problems reading about racism sometimes because it's never been an issue for me, and this was especially hard to read. I realize it's talking about the past before African Americans were given more rights but I still hated it. Besides, their was little action, and I usually like reading books that have excitement in them.

Call of the Wild was okay once I got past the animal abuse. If I had known about the abuse I probably wouldn't have chosen it to read for my Children's Literature course last year. Once Buck found John Thornton the book was uplifting but I hated it again when Thornton was killed. I wish London hadn't killed him off, he was one of my favorite characters!