Our wonderful forums Prefect, Janet (passerby) has very kindly offered her copy of the Texas 'In Demand' enhanced CD, complete with full-length video featuring Alan Rickman, as a prize for the very first interactive contest we've ever held on the forums.

Having seen the video myself, I can say that it is a *must* have for any Alan Rickman fan, and definitely for Snape fans who would like to see the Potions Master as you've never seen him before!

What we would like you guys to do is to compose a short, funny limerick about Alan or Snape, the staff as a team will judge which one we think is the best/funniest/most original, and the winner will receive Janet's CD. The contest will run for about a month or so, to give everyone a good chance to see this and to come up with something. The winner will be announced 1st/2nd of July.

There are no real rules per se, and as long as the limerick is about Alan or Snape, it's fine. The only thing we will say is this -

• PLEASE keep them clean. Anything dirty, rude or inappropriate will firstly be deleted, secondly be met with a warning. This is meant to be a bit of fun for everyone - don't spoil it
• YOU MUST get permission from your parents/guardian to submit your entry if you are under 18 years old. Janet will need your home address to send the CD out to you. We can accept no liability if your parents get angry for you submitting entries and, if you win, sending your address over the internet. Make sure they know what you are doing. VTM cares about its members and we do our best to protect you...that involves making you tell your parents before giving out personal information over the internet.

DO NOT post your addresses here. If you're the winner, Janet will PM you and ask you for the information she needs to send it to you.

When you submit your entry, PLEASE STATE your age and, if you are under 18, confirm that you have asked your parents permission. Entries that do not carry these disclaimers will not be considered.

Entries should be posted here - and entries only. This isn't a discussion thread

Just for a small taster of the video, here's a snippet captured by Rickmansmissus....



Good luck!! We look forward to reading your entries!!

(BTW, if your parents won't give you permission, you're still welcome to enter...just state so in your post. As I said, this is meant to be a bit of fun for everyone, with a little reward in it to make it sweet )

The CD, as far as I'm aware, carries no restrictions and should be playable in all countries. To view the video though, you will need to check that your computer is capable of playing it - I've checked my own copy, and there are no minimum system requirements on it - it carries its own software so anyone should be able to play it....for those who were wondering.

Hehe, here goes nothing! There are few things that I wouldn't do for Alan...

This is my official submission (part one ) for Janet's Limerick contest. I apologise in advance for any loss of IQ that might result from reading this...

1.

There once was a terrorist called Hans,
Who showed up at Harry Potter's dance.
Said Snape, "Just a minute!
Colonel Brandon's not in it!
Shouldn't you rather give him the chance?"

2.

I never thought I'd be such a fan
Of a guy who could've married my gran
But his voice is so pure
That no potion can cure
The obsession I have with the man!

3.

The guy is a git and he's slimy,
The place he inhabits is all grimy.
But have a good look
And you'll see he's no crook
If you're Ron your reaction will probably just be - Blimey!

Come on! Post yours... You can't do worse!

EDIT: It really is incredible how mind-numbing study material can induce creativity... here is another one:

4.

Severus Snape has now taken to hating
The boy who was for revenge waiting.
James dangled him about
Until Lily did shout.
Too late! The film will now have an older rating...

This is not the end though, I still have 1 & 1/2 inches of my textbook to go! Oh and yeah, I'm 18.

The second one was very good Laurette.....

There was a Death Eater called Snape,
Who resembled a cabernet sauvignon grape,
At Spinners End,
He did not comprehend,
That the house had no fire escape.

So Snapey went up to the tower,
And then with all his epic power,
AK'd Dumby off the edge,
Then ran off with a pitching wedge,
And Harry chased him for near an hour.

Harry was in pursuit of the Prince,
So Snapey tried to convince,
Hazza P that he was a silly boy,
He'd end up locked up in Illinois,
And Harry ate a Japenese quince.

Thats a three part limerick. Sorry if it made no sense, i'm going for the Spike Milligan kind of way. Anyhow i don't want the prize if i win, if can go to second place....not that i'm going to win looking at Laurettes, but i thought i should ass that.

Nick

*snorts* Very funny, guys Kudos!!

Just to let you know though....as Capricorn did, if you could number your submissions separately if you're going to submit more than four lines, because they'll be judged equally, if you know what I mean. There isn't extra credit for submitting extra verses, but seeing as how you're not bothered about the prize, Nick, I guess that's okay

Before I go, just thought I'd share this with you. I wish I could say that I wrote it, but I can't - I'm completely talentless with poems and limericks....I mentioned this to my mum and she came up with this pretty much straight away and it gave me a good laugh, so hopefully it might inspire things here....

A Potions Master named Snape
Is someone we all love to hate
In the wink of an eye
For a piece of the pie
He'll blast you for You-Know-Who's sake.

*chuckles* Ah, bless my mum...she shares my Alan passion completely..and my Snape one. She was most upset by HBP and stalwartly refuses to read it again!

I can't say I'm as big of a fan of Alan's as Louise or Laurette, but I happen to love limericks and I thought I might try my hand at it.

1. *clears throat*
Snape is a great Potions master,
Who said Harry's work was a disaster,
He scoffed and he sneered,
And he snided and leered,
Which angered both of them faster.

2. *clears throat*
Young Severus had many beefs,
With people who gave him real griefs,
The old git named James
Came and called him some names,
And showed Hogwarts Snape's old yellow briefs.

Hope you liked them!

Those were really good, Aubrey! I especially liked the first one...

Ok well, I waited what I thought was a reasonable time, just so no-one thinks I'm sitting writing limericks all day ... No really, you should try it - very therapeutic - I've started a limerick diary. It's great - limericks about lecturers are especially effective for mastering their subject. Unless they themselves are walking about the room while you're writing a test...

Hem hem, anywho, you asked for this Janet! I've got three Alan/Snape limericks and I'm not afraid to post it! *ahem - convinces self*

1.

Based on true events...

A drivers licence is something that might
Be refused if you didn't drive right
But what Alan did wrong
(You'll be laughing along)
Was driving too slowly over a green traffic light!

Aw bless him...

2.

Snape's look which is reserved just for Harry
Is enough to make anyone tarry
Between fear of expulsion
And shock and revulsion
And a grudge that would over years carry.

3.

His stare will send chills down your spine
If your cauldron was the next one in line
And you're stirring with fervor
Until you hear a soft murmur:
"I think a T would suit you just fine."

Teehee, I've really unmasked myself as Severely Obsessed, haven't I? Or was it obvious all along...?

I think I accidentally swallowed Sonnets of a Sorcerer...

EDIT: I'll just quickly edit in reply... Thanks! But aw, Mel, you know I don't mean that - I was trying to bring Ron's perception across... Maybe - they think he's a git and he's slimy... hmmm. Who could ever think that of Snape after having read your fics???

I can not contribute anything to this once so ever. I have no talent for this sort of thing either. But you guys do! Nick, yours was funny. Sounded like something that you just made up on the spot. Laurette....That was good. But why call him such names? What did he ever do to you? But I do like number 4. That was very clever, and has an aura of laughter and intelligence.

Aubrey, yours sound like the ones I read to my daughter. They read easy and smooth. I like those. Easier to get into a rythum.Well done to you too!

OK....away I go with my opnions. I just wanted to comment, and encourage others to post here. We would all be very interested in reading anything anyone has to post!

Ok, here goes . . .


1

There once was a teacher called Snape
who exploited his threatening shape.
He roamed round and round
scaring students he found
With the sound of his billowing cape.



Here is another one . . . a five-parter this time.

Edit: If only short limericks can enter, I suppose that the first and the last stanza can stand on their own.


2
No Contest!

You can find no more opposite pair
when comparing these gentlemen's hair.
One is white, one is black,
One is greasy and slack,
And the other long, flowing and fair.

It is clear who's the Peer of these two
From his clothing. Just look at that shoe!
And that hair, oh so fine,
Much more pretty than mine!
As a bonus, he's much richer, too.

If you think that the winner I'd pick
Would be Malfoy, you're certainly thick.
It's the other who's swell
Has me under his spell
Makes me losing my head, just like Nick.

When he purses his lips to say "Boo",
When he speaks of the things that are true
Even when they are lies
Saying things I despise
In the battle to beat You-Know-Who.

His loyalties one could debate,
His actions one'd certainly hate,
But his spellbinding voice
is not leaving much choice:
It's Severus Snape that I'd date!

I read the rules again and saw that I must say how old I am. Well, I'm over 18 . . . in fact I'm going to turn 53 tomorrow.

Well here is my entry, it was a lot harder than I thought it would be. Well done to everyone. My limerick was inspired by this picture. Please view the picture first, otherwise the limerick will make even less sense


1. Once upon a time,
In this silly little rhyme,
Not all that far back,
I saw a potato sack,
The sack that I did spy,

It caught my little eye,
I’m quite sure why.
A man was in that sack,
Made of Hessian and writing of black,
When I asked why,

He would wear such a thing,
He replied “What this? Its from last spring!”
I looked him up and down
And then gave him a frown,
And said “how about a fling?”

A smirk crossed his face,
As he slowed down his pace,
“I knew it was you,
With hair black and blue,
Why don’t you come back to my place?”

And with that my friend,
The tale must end,
For you see,
It just shouldn’t be,
The rating would send,

Me to a place,
I just wouldn’t face,
A ban on my name,
O what the shame,
For I would miss this place.

Once you start thinking in the limerick metrum, there's no stopping . . .


I have hungered to satisfy Ships
But in Alan's case listened to tips:
There are gems, without fee
-- All these treasures are free --
On the pages of Brit's Bits And Clips.

Ok, been on the thinking trail...

1.

There once was a celloist named Jamie,
Who left behind a sweet lady,
Twas a simple cold,
That had gotten ahold,
so he died the very next Tuesdee.

2.

To Alan of hair so fair,
Oh how we do so despair,
Each one of us would pay,
To have you for just one day,
But alas, none know how to share.

3.

Robin and George did fight,
Over Maid Marion on a fateful night,
Said George to the buffoon,
Armed with a silver spoon,
I'll have your heart tonight.

Please have pity, I'm not English mothertongue....I have written a second one, and if it's too nasty please tell me...

1. Snape's colors

Black his eyes, black his hair,
black his cloak on the chair,
white his skin, white his shirt
white his soul with hidden mirth.

2. not for contest

I met Snape the Dark
Walking in Hogwarts' park,
Enjoying some fresh air.

I spoke to him first,
not showing my thirst,
Trying to be very kind.

I said, "You, Master of Potions,
you trigger my emotions,
Oh Slytherin's Heir!

Let me be your pet in class,
I'm not a lazy lass,
oh Professor, don't be blind"

His first look was pure disdain,
but he didn't complain
and pensively stroked his hair.

After thinking a bit,
That lovely sly git
said "I've made up my mind"

He brought me in his lab
everything looked so fab
and I thought "...now let's pair"

My eyes I closed;
all my feelings exposed,
I waited for a kiss.

But instead of his embrace
he gave me a cloth, with a grimace
he said "Now, clean up my lair"

He went, bold as a king on his throne,
leaving me there alone
thinking "What a miss!".

So young women, you must see,
take my advice, listen to me,
don't lure dark professors in the park
better study, that's the way to a good mark.

Ciao

Witchmom )O(

Sorry, I'm turning 38 in a couple of months!!! I forgot to put it in the limericks' message.

Witchmom )O(

I think I might have a go at it.....I am 12 years old but I still want to post what I thought of.

1. in a room locked from the inside.....
sat a grimey teacher who was ever so snide.....
resting in his office grading essays
handing out "T"s and the ocasionel "E"s
and so is the life of the poor severouse lad

This contest sounds like fun. Here are my humble submissions. I am 29 for those of you who are counting. Tick tock and all that. Off we go then...

1. Once a Potions Master was drillin'.
Students were furiously quillin'.
He killed the Headmaster,
this vicious spell-caster.
Is Snape disguised hero or villain?

2. He makes students feel ineffectual
with his criticism always habitual.
Under Snape's gaze witherin'
unless you're a Slytherin,
you'll feel Death Eater wrath, residual.

That's all she wrote!

1
there was once a potions proffesor called Snape
who had a long black billowing cape
if you messed up in class
you know malfoy would grass
and then there would be no escape

2
when snape was a lad
he was greasy haired and sad
nothing changed when he became a man
with his pale face the sun couldnt tan
everyone knew he would turn out bad

3
there was an actor caled Alan Rickman
who been in plenty of films to date
but the best of them yet
and on the final ones we must wait
is that of a proffesor called Snape

thats all i can think off for now lol

....I was just thinking, who knows if the second limerick I've posted is too long or can be ok for the contest? I thought that it had to be short, but I've seen others quite long. Is there a specific length we have to respect?

Witchmom )O(

Hi, witchmom. To make things fair, they are being judged one stanza at a time. ..so one entry is one stanze- Feel free to submit multiple stanzas, but just keep in mind that they'll be judged sepearately so one person does not have an advantage of including more "alanness" in a longer poem. . .Hope that helps, and made a bit of sense! Thanks! (alan's currently sitting in my computer bag, just waiting for one of you!!And he's looking quite yummy!)

Well, I may as well give it a shot. What else do I have to lose but my dignity??

His name is Severus Snape
And that's what we know
So why does Harry Potter hate him so?
Maybe because
Snape dissed his mom
And maybe, once or twice, was a Peeping Tom

There was a Potions master named Snape
Who Harry Potter and his father both hate
Snivellus was once a boy
Who has greasy hair and
A deadly cool stare
Is slimey and plucky
And shaped like a ducky
Once again - who is this Potions hero we love?
Who has greasy hair?
A deadly cool stare?
Is slimey and plucky
And shaped like a ducky?
He's the Potions hero we love!!

I promise to never write poetry again

lol : D I like theses a lot! *claps* who won then?

I have written a few of my own but they are a bit dirty i have posted them on another site.
Let me try a clean one now...even though the dead line has passed(i think)

About Snape:
He was Head of Slytherin and former Death eater
but I dont care becasue ive never met someone sweeter
His sexy black hair
Always floats in mid air
But if it gets any longer it will be over a meter

About Metaron:
From heaven to earth he came
He says that Metatron is his name
With his expensive wing span
He entred Beth's life with a bang
Surely she thought she had gone insane

( not good enough lol)

About Snape again:
He would castle corridors
His cape would sweep the dusty floors
There's a dangerous glint in his eye
He always knew when students would lie
And would punish all of the Gryffindors

I realized that the deadline has passed!!! being in England I completely forgot it. Anyway, just to amuse you all, here's a limerick in Italian...

Severus il terribile
in realtà è un uomo amabile
se non sei di Potter un parente
e se in Pozioni hai Eccellente.

(Severus the Terrible
actually is an amiable man
if you're not a Potter's relative
and if you have Excellent in Potions)

What about the winner? we all want to hear the lovely "pop" of champagne bottles and share a slice of that beautiful cake...yes, the one with a great smiling picture of Alan on it.. (let me have the slice with his LIPS please... )

Witchmom )O(

There was a deadline on this? Alas, me poor little brain has been steeped in story tellin', with nary room for anythin' else.

Anyway, here goes nothin'...




There once was a fellow named Snape,
Who was hung in midair like an ape
By a student named Sirius,
Who was rather delirious.
Poor Snape should've attacked with a drape.

I entered the contest and thought
I could win with the verse that I wrought.
While I patiently wait
It is now running late,
And the judges still come up with naught.

Expecting a judgement, we bide,
But the contest seems to have died.
We were quite enthused
But now are confused.
Perhaps because few have replied?

Will there be more? That depends.
If we encourage our friends
Maybe they'll post
But what we need most
Is some clarity when it all ends.

Bumblebee! A delightful piece of verse!
But maybe the judges are cursed
With having little time
To delight in our rhyme
Though I'm curious fit to burst!

A suggestion for when all this is done,
Can we please have a topic begun
Where limericks and rhyme
About Harry and his time
Can be posted just for fun?

Edit>> A non-entry, but I had quite a bit of fun with these...

Ron found Professor Binns very boring
In fact, I believe he was snoring
As the ghost rattled on
So Hermione glared at Ron
But her sniffs he was happily ignoring.

If there's one guy I detest it's ol' Perce
And if only I knew the right curse
He'd be a frog in a flash
And be gone with a splash
To a place that is hopefully much worse!

To some Snape may seem to be
Evil to a frightening degree
But not even magic
Can help, and it’s tragic
That from the past he can never be free.

Hellow! The original post Louise made, said that the winner would be announce 1/2 od July, well it's almost 1/2 of August so are we going to announce the winner soon? Or will there be a public vote? I was just wondering whether this is still an active competition?

Hoping for a response,
Nick

lol. . .it's still July where I live . . . for a couple more days at least!

Since it's suddenly picked up again with inqueries. . .as I PMmed Annie; I've PMmed Louise about the contest, and as soon as I hear what the word is, whether it be the judging of or the extension of the contest; I will certainly let you know. Sorry for the dealy; it seems a bit of life got in the way of our fun!! The prize is still sitting cozily in my computer bag!!

It's still July here Janet, don't worry! But it's very nearly August, which makes prize giving/winner announcement almost a month late.... Anyhow can't wait to win! I mean mine was so much better than Annie and Laurettes, and everyone else who posted!

Till then,
Nick

OK, I'll shamelessly try to divide my limerick in stanzas so...please have pity again. I'm trying to compose another in time, before the official ending of the contest (but if it is officially ended, disregard this message!). It's not for the prize, really, it's that thinking of HIM stimulates my blood circulation (my heart beats so fast... ) and this is very good for my brain's ossigenation. So, limericking about Severus is very healthy!!!!!
I could give this title: Betrayed Hopes of a former Hogwarts' student....

1.
I met Snape the Dark
Walking in Hogwarts' park,
Enjoying some fresh air.

I spoke to him first,
not showing my thirst,
Trying to be very kind.

2.
I said, "You, Master of Potions,
you trigger my emotions,
Oh Slytherin's Heir!

Let me be your pet in class,
I'm not a lazy lass,
oh Professor, don't be blind"

3.
His first look was pure disdain,
but he didn't complain
and pensively stroked his hair.

After thinking a bit,
That lovely sly git
said "I've made up my mind"

4.
He brought me in his lab
everything looked so fab
and I thought "...now let's pair"

My eyes I closed;
all my feelings exposed,
I waited for a kiss.

5.
But instead of his embrace
he gave me a cloth, with a grimace
he said "Now, clean up my lair"

He went, bold as a king on his throne,
leaving me there alone
thinking "What a miss!".

6.
So young women, you must see,
take my advice, listen to me,
don't lure dark professors in the park
better study, that's the way to a good mark.

Witchmom )O(

OK, another (and last) one....

1.
Have you heard his silky voice?
If it's so, you have no choice
You get caught in his trap
desiring just to sit in his lap.

2.
In his eyes which are so dark
you see a light, you see a spark
that makes you pray for another gaze
which was meant just for amaze

3.
Tall and slim, that's how he is
watching him is such a bliss
and his voice becoming lower
it's his most enticing power.

4.
Amortentia is inappropriate
'cause his appeal can inebriate
much more than a lovers' potion
freeing your most wild emotions.

5.
So, you moms, your hope would be
that your kids would get a T
-no matter who was your Ancestor-,
for a chat with the Professor.

Witchmom )O(

Hello, fellow poets! I'm pleased to announce an official extension of this limerick competition! The new closing date will be Saturday August 12th. If you've got any other limericks to share, please post them here.

Thank you to all who have submitted thus far. Let the word out that the competition has a new, extended deadline!

Eagerly awaing more limericks,
passerby

My last ever one:

There was an old fella named Snape,
Who trotted around in a cape,
When asked who he killed,
All his guts he did spilled,
And was gagged with adhesive tape!

There we go, a definate contender!

Till then

Nick

Ah, Snape...what a character! This one's for him...

Snape met his mate Dumbledore
A flash of green and he hit the floor
What has he done?
And why did he run?
Severus ain't playing nice anymore

This one popped in my mind this morning as I woke up. I sincerely hope it counts as a limerick - since we don't do limericks here I was just going on with what I've seen here
Well, here's mine then..

The shiny black cloke and even darker cape
look breathtakingly good on our potion master Snape.
But black though he seems
his eyes glitter as he sees
a read-headed white flower Lily

Okay, I know it doesn't rhyme in the end, but that's the best I could come up with

I really enjoyed all of your limericks and I'm glad I don't have to pick a winner from all of the marvelous work that has been entered...

And yes, I'm over 18. I was born 1979. (allmost forgot)

Last day, so what the heck.

There was a professor called Snape
Who looked totally hot in black crepe
He glared in the mirror
And said with a sneer
"Now if I could just fix the drape!"

'nuff for me or I could be here all night. lol

Thank you so much, to everyone who participated in the Alan Rickman Limerick Competition! As you know, the Limerick Competition is now officially closed. The entries will be examined and judged according to the competition guidelines (structure of the limerick and references to Alan), and a group of prefects and moderators will be choosing a winner soon. Watch this space!

Once again, thank you to all who participated in the Limerick Competition! I hope you had as much fun creating these fun rhymes as we've had reading them!

The judging is now completed, and we are ready to announce the winner!

The second runner up is:

His stare will send chills down your spine
If your cauldron was the next one in line
And you're stirring with fervor
Until you hear a soft murmur:
"I think a T would suit you just fine."

Submitted by Capricorn.

The first runner up is:

Young Severus had many beefs,
With people who gave him real griefs,
The old git named James
Came and called him some names,
And showed Hogwarts Snape's old yellow briefs.

Submitted by Just the Droobles.

And the winner is . . .(drum roll, please). . .

Once a Potions Master was drillin'.
Students were furiously quillin'.
He killed the Headmaster,
this vicious spell-caster.
Is Snape disguised hero or villain?

Submitted by pepperimp!

Congratulations, pepperimp! (Okay, I'll stop before I get out of hand with these crazy things!) Your limerick really captured the spirit of Severus Snape and we thouroughly enjoyed the inclusion of one of the hottest debates of the present!

I'll be contacting you shortly regarding the delivery of your prize: the Enhanced Texas In Demand CD . . .with a lovely video of our favorite Slytherin. . .Alan Rickman!

Thanks again, to everyone who participated! I wish I had enough of these to go around!

Thank you, Passerby and judges! I was totally taken by surprise to have been chosen with all the fabulous entries. It was fun just to sit and think of limericks and read everyone else's. Wow. I don't know what else to say but Thank you Muchly!

Yah!!! Congrats Pepperimp And congrats to all those that participated in it

I loved reading everyone's entries and it was hard to narrow it down to a couple of favourites

Good work

Oh wow! Congratulations pepperimp! Yours is brilliant - the clear winner! I tried to come up with something to counter it... but I guess I was never meant to be an award winning poet! I'll just leave that to you and Janet!

This was loads of fun - can we do it again? Without a prize, or anything - just for fun - unless you have any other Rickman mechandise you'd like to part from, Janet?

Nah, kidding - thanks to everyone who posted their stuff. I loved reading it all, and not just because everyone was rhyming about Alan or Snape...

Congratulations
pepperimp!
Just the Droobles.
Capricorn.

Your lyrics were all really great!

.

Congrats to you three winners, great Pepperimp, Just the Droobles and Capricorn, but also to all who participated. True, your words really captured Snape's essence....(gods how I love that man... )
Speaking for myself, it was sooooooo fun!!! I agree, prize or not, it's a great idea to limerick just for fun...
Again, congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Witchmom )O(

Congratulations, pepperimp! And JustTheDroobles and Capricorn ... and everyone else who participated and helped to make the contest fun.

And congratulations to Jo Rowling ... There is no more gratifying subject for a limerick than dear Severus Snape with all his contradictions and anguish. Or the actor who portrays him with such a magical, mesmerizing voice.

Hooray!
I just want to congratulate pepperimp and Capricorn/Laurette for making some awesome competition for the limerick contest! I feel honored to be up there with the two of you guys!

Also, I think it's awesome that so many people submitted, and I really enjoyed reading everyone's entries! Hopefully we can do something fun like this again!