kait. It's summertime and he's probabaly very excited about the vacation he is on and having way too much fun to think about anything. But still, he should have at least called you after the first week. I know it's been a month since you last seen him and a week since you last called, but I would give it another week before I start calling him again. And once you get in touch with him, you guys need to talk. Find out where he stands on your relationship and if he starts acting like he doesn't care then forget about him and just end it. It seems like you deserve someone better who actually bothers to pay attention to you.

Andrew. I agree with Kait on this: It is probably best that you break up with the girl. It makes no sense for her to show affection to other guys and not the same to you. Most gilrs I know love to show off their boyfriend, and if she is feeling ashamed to say I Love You or show affection, then she probabaly isn't the girl that you need to be with.

As for me, lies is the number one reason that I would break up with a guy. I can't stand liars, especially those who make up stuff for no reason. I was talking to this one guy and he was sweet and funny and I liked him a lot, but I always kept hearing from his best friend all these stories about me that were never true. They were always exaggerated or put in an unflattering way for me. And when ever I confronted him about the stories he would just say 'well yeah, it's true' as if I weren't there when the events actually happened. Well I dropped him quick and we don't talk any more. Good thing too because he would always talk about my friends. He was actually kind of a mean guy now that I think about it. It's weird how you never see these things when you first like the person.

UnknownLocket and Andrew thank you so much. i thought about what you said and about whats been happening between me and my boyfriend (or what hasnt been happening) and i broke up with him. i feel so much better, so i know i made the right choice. thank you.

Andrew here's my advice:
Well first of all, maybe she didn't mean not to say i love you because its "in public" some people just dont feel comfortable with saying that they LOVE someone, it's a big deal. Maybe she is showing affection to other guys because she needs to let herself know that she isn't dependant on you to be the only guy in her life. I know that i had a lot of guy friends and i would always hug them goodbye and stuf and my exboyfriend got really jealous, i think that i did it because they are my friends and i love them and i need a boy who is okay with that, plus i'm a total flirt! Anyways, i think you need to talk to your girl and ask her if she still likes you, if she's embarassed that you two are going out and that's why she isn't saying or doing anything, and if she still wants to go out with you. It might be best to just break it off if you don't feel comfortable with her being with her other guys all the time- it's not good to be jealous.

As for me, i'll usually break up with a guy for another guy =( i know this sounds really mean but i just get bored with being with one guy for like more than 2 months, but i'm only 14 hopefully this will change soon!!

~Kate

Some reasons why I'd break up with my boyfriend are:
- He was rude, had no manners and no respect
- He was too clingy. I like my space.
- We didn't have anything in common.
- If he cheated on me.
- If he did drugs.
- If he was narrow minded.

I might add more if I think of them, but that's all I've got at the moment.

If he calls constantly to see what you're doing even if he just called.
If he needs to know who you're talking to whe you say something and he's on the phone.
If he gives you five differetn numbers so you know to pick up every time he calls.

Hello
Clever topic Well done.
This is pure speculation, as i have never
had a boyfriend. hair-tie's are ingenious.
~If he was horrible to/about my other friend's .
~Or per-maybe-hap's if he bacame really clingy.
Cannot think of anything else, happy posting
young one's
xoxo

I don't have much experience with this, but here is what I think

- If he cheated
- If was stupid (I mean, if he wasn't smart and took advantage of that I am very smart (I am))
- If he had absolutely no sense of humour and would never, ever make me laugh.

As said, this is just pure imagnitaion, I have never had a boyfriend.

siriuslyinloveyou are so right about how you'd finish someone if he was arsey towards your mates. Tht's exactly what happened to one of my best friends. She was seeing this lad that's proper canny to her, but with the rest of us, he's just really horrible. My mate was seeing him for just 4 days and she finished him because he was still awful to us, and she didn't want to be seeing someone who didn't like us.

Another reason why I'd break up with a person is if I saw them too much. I don't think I'd be able to go out with someone if I saw them every single day at school and stuff; I dunno why but I think that would just be too much ... and if I saw him more th my mates. My mates mean everything to me and I wouldn't want a lad to stop me seeing them.

And Kait, I'm glad you broke up with your lad ... I've just read your post and that's just low; I hate it when lads blank you. There's a word for that, and it's cowardly. They just aren't worth thinking about when they're too scared to break up with a person, and I think all the advice you've been given is great.

Also Andrew; I think on this one, you need to talk things over with her ... maybe she was just shocked at first ... but if she's flirting with others then I don't know. But one thing I want to say is do NOT let her string you along. If you're still seeing her and she's flirting with other lads then it's really not fair on you; you need to tell yourself that you're worth more than that. In a way it's a bit like Kait's situation ... I think this girl might just have case of cowardly I-don't-know-how-to-break-up-with-my-partner syndrome; it might just be her way of saying she wants to see other people. Sorry if I've been babbling about nothing

Good luck with relationships

~Amy <33

Reasons why I'd break up with a boyfriend are:
- if he cheated
- if he had no sense of humour whatsoever
- if he was nasty to or about my family or friends
- if he showed me no respect at all

That's what I think but I haven't had much experience

~If he cheated on me
~If he showed no respect to me, my family of friends
~If he always bossed me around and pressured me to do stuff
~If he was rude

BTW i have no experience with this!!

Well the reasons why I broke up with my boyfriend after 2.5 years:

-He was a bad guy and kicked me
-He didn't take care of himself
-He just sat infront of is computer ALL DAY!
-He was a bad boyfriend, and never gave me compliments...

I don't miss him!
But i wasted 2.5 years

I would break up with my boyfriend if:

~he cheated on me (probably more than once, I bet I could forgive once)
~he lied to me constantly
~he broke my trust
~he abused me (in any way)
~he tried to control me in ways I didn't like
~he ignored me
~he neglected my feelings

And the same would probably hold true for my girlfriend, lol.

Ok...I'm single now...but I broke up with my boyfriend who I was completely in love with and honestly thought that I was going to end up married to because:

I found out he had lied to me about something important
He made me feel like I wasn't good enough
He hurt me constantly without even knowing he was doing it (emotionally not physically)
And I was stupid enough to keep it all bottled in until I found out about him lying and then it all came out at once and we split.

....annnd...I regret it more than anything I've ever done, and I've done some pretty stupid things, and wish that I could take it back, but he doesn't want me anymore...soo...yeah...I think in the future I need to rethink my reasons why to end it with a guy...

~Kristina

Well i do have a boyfriend now who i am in very happy with!
BUT if there was some reason i would break up with him it wouldbe because

A) He cheats

B)My family thinks he's scum

C)He acts like and idiot when i'm around him and his friends

D) he's Disrespectful



~nina

If my boyfriend ever cheated it'd be over. No question about it. I'm not really the forgiving type and it would constantly be on my mind if we stayed together afterwards.

If he abused me in anyway, verbally or physically, I'd leave. I'll find somewhere to go.

If he was disrespectful of my opinions and choices.

If he was rude to my friends and family.

If he was an arrogant, condescending, self-righteous jerk.
- Me and McLaggen would not get along.

-If she cheated (the most obvious reason)
-If she thought I wasn't good enough for her
-If she was a goody-two-shoes
-If she hated HP
-If she hated animals

Before my last boyfriend? I would've said if he cheated, and it wouldn't have been true.

He cheated on me, five times totalled that I knew about. After the first time, I dumped him, but not because he cheated, because he lied. And then I took him back when he... Uh... Oh, yeah! Said he still loved me and wanted to get back together with me. I reluctantly took him back and put him on immediate probation. Then, he got together with an ex and... cheated... five times in one day, if you get my drift.

Now?

If he was a liar.
If he cheated, I'm NEVER forgiving that again.
If he was an arrogant jerk.
If he forgot my name (Come on, that's bad.)

I can't believe I wasted so much time on him. Live and learn.

And everyone, male or female:

I may be young, but I want to offer a bit of advice: Never, ever settle for someone who's less then exactly what you want.

I really just dislike people who act two different ways depending on who they are with. I like guys who can be real with me, and I don't want to have to see them hanging with their friends and me not even recognizing who they are. I can understand guys who are more sensitive, romantic and open towards their girls. When your attitude changes, that's one thing, but when your entire personality changes, I can't stand that! So that would be one reason why I would break up with a guy.

Another reason of course is if he cheated. I can't stand cheaters. . . and liars! And when you cheat, you simultaneously become a liar, especially when you promise at the beginning of a relationship to be faithful. For me its like, break up with me before you decide to cheat. If you don't have the balls to do that, then you don't have the balls to my man.

UnknownLocket I agree with what you are saying about how they act one way when they are just with you and then they acted completely different when their friends are around. I hate it when they do that because I wanna be like how do I know who the real you is when you act so sweet and nice when its just the two of us, but when the friends are around your all tough and have the whatever attitude and dont pay attention to me at all.
I also hate it when they tell you that they dont want you hanging out with your friends, and only want you to be like their dog, only following them around. I hate how they try to control you and act like your only their to follow his orders. Also if their friends are more important then you are your just a show toy for him to be look what I've got that you dont have. I wouldnt stand for that at all.
I would break up with him if he cheated on me and there would be no way i would take him back once a cheater always a cheater. Its hard to trust him after they do something like that so not only are they a cheater their a liar too. And if the abused me mentally or physically.

Reasons I would:

-If we didn't talk

-If he didn't acknowledge me in public

-If he cheated

-If he lied about cheating


...oh wait, that's why I DID break up with him.

I may have to respectfully disagree here.

I have always felt that to truly love someone, you must be able to accept them despite their faults, without seeking to change them. I have loved two people romantically, and he and she were both exceptional in their own ways. There were things about them that were definitely less than perfect, but we loved each other, so I was able to get past that with both of them.

I have broken up with partners in the past because of infidelity, but I have also taken one of them back, even though he was unfaithful. I believe that it is better to have loved, with all the heartache that goes along with it (and believe me there is a lot of heartache), than to live a life without love. Otherwise what is the point?

Oh, please don't misunderstand. That's what I meant; when I said that, I was talking about if when you're dating, you become unhappy or something, then it's time to call it quits. Don't settle with someone that you no longer have feelings for, just because they're there.

The reasons may be if I learn about his betrayal or if he doesn't respect me.

I would also break up with a guy if he was overly romantic. Don't get me wrong. I'm into the whole romance thing and I'm in love with the idea of being in love but I can't stand the kind of guys who pop out the corny lines every five minutes like "Ever since the day I met you, I just wanted to hold you in my arms." Man, whatever! Like am I really supposed to fall for that? I just want a guy who I can be cool with and have good conversations with, not someone who always wants to end the conversation on a cheesy note because that just turns me off. I'm weird that way

oh my gosh! im exactly the same! like, sometimes it can be kind-of cute, but at the same time, it gets annoying.
im not the type of person that deals well with clingy people either. so if a guy starts calling me or texts me or has to see me everyday, i have to tell him to back off a bit and give me my space. thats just how i am. i know, its kind-of weird..
but i would definately call it quits with a guy if i found out he was cheating on me, or if i found out he was lying to me about anything really. i dont handle liars well either..
oh! and if he becomes a jerk and doesnt respect me and my friends, then its over.
(im really picky when it comes to guys. haha)

Yeah, clingy guys are a bit of a turn off. I love the guy that cares, but not the guy that just always has to be there, in it, and a part of it. The more a guy tries to attach himself to me, the more I pull away. I may even really, really, really like the guy, but eventually I pull away so far to the point were my feelings towards them are almost non-existant. My friends say that I'm such a guy when it comes to relationships but I guess its because I'm not looking for the lovey dovey, wine and dine and please you kind of boyfriend. I want a friend first, then a boyfriend.

Ooh, which brings me to another reason. I don't like guys who always try to rush things, and not just sexually but emotionally. I easily get annoyed with the guy who wants to know everything about me on day one and then on day two start sharing inside jokes. I don't think so! Your gonna have to wait a few more weeks to get my whole story.

And browneyedgirl there is nothing wrong with being picky. It just means that you have standards . And when you find that guy who you really just adore, whether he meets up to your standards or not, it is then when you know that the realtionship is real.

I thinks that's a good thing to look for, because if you're going to be with this person for a considerable amount of time then it makes sense that there should be friendship there as a basis. somehow my present better-half (who I've been with for over 10 years), didn't tick any of the boxes I was looking for and we just gradually grew closer as friends until the attraction formed, (I sincerely doubt that I what he was looking for back then either - I was a mess )


Obviously, infidelity, aggression, rudeness, inconsideration etc are high up on the list for breakups.

Having said all that I did break up with Andi (for all of an hour), some time ago for the most ridiculous reason, it wasn't infidelity, that he did anything severely out of order or any other valid reason, it was because....He ate the last biscuit! How dare he I was in an awful mood, just came back from uni and fancied a bit of chocolate to cheer myself up only to find they were all gone (having asked him before not to chow down on everything and to save some for others) - so the argument about that silly little insignificant thing became more about respect and not listening (note to self: lack of chocolate isn't the end of the world ) - it has lead to the funniest little quirk now, even 4 years on, whenever I go to the cupboard there is always one left of everything (I can get moody sometimes )