Hello!
This is the feeback thread for my very first ever fanfic!
I will accept any type of feedback, good or bad. I actually perfer negative criticism, so that I can improve my writing. Please answer honestly!
My Fanfic

writer101 i really like it so far. I am dying to know who this professor allen is. and i like how there are secrets already (meaning that harry has no idea who she is, and none of his friends are planning to tell him). and the fact that draco malfoy is scared that means there is something dark about allen. i cant wait to read the next chapter. and if i really like your story in the end i might even print it out ( i print out fan fics that are good)

writer101 i really like it so far. I am dying to know who this professor allen is. and i like how there are secrets already (meaning that harry has no idea who she is, and none of his friends are planning to tell him). and the fact that draco malfoy is scared that means there is something dark about allen. i cant wait to read the next chapter. and if i really like your story in the end i might even print it out ( i print out fan fics that are good)

*bursts into tears of hapiness*
Sorry, but I've been planning out this story ever since Book 5 first came out, and I'm so glad I've finally found a place where other people can read it!
Thanks so much! I think I'll post another chapter now...

I have just read chapter two. And i think that it is so good written! it could have been JKR herself whp had writen that. I like the story so far, and I am dying to know whats been hidden from HArry and who this professor Allen is? Hopa you post next chapter soon

Well, is 'now' soon? I'm really really bored, so I guess I'll just go ahead and post the next chapter now...

woohoo i cant wait i just finished reading chapter 2 and now i just have to wait to read chapter 3!!!!!! love it!!!

Right, finally a chance to post, before when I was about to you had just said you were about to post chapter three so I quickly went to read that as well...

This is definitely getting better. When I read the first chapter I was just like What the....? Honestly, I had no idea what was going on. But, now I've read the next two chapters, I think it's easier to understand, even though there is still no clue to who Professor Allen is... Except she was at the Order some time, and has something to do with Sirius. Hmm... confusing. Please post more soon, I have to find out more! Oh, and in the words of Hermione, How could she let him teach? After he killed Dumbledore! This is outrageous! Those were my thoughts exactly... Post soon!

......................... out of all the people we have Snape coming back!!!!!
I dislike that guy so much. McGonagall better explaine herself soon. lol but so far great story.

You've got an interesting plot going here... Nice pace and dialogue too.

Some things are a bit unlikely given the present state of the canon, but you can never know... JKR has thrown us some nice twisters. I definitely want to see what you come up with next!

Thanks a million!
Next chapter, coming right up...

Yay! New chapter... I really like reading this fic, just because of the mystery you've put into it. I really, really, really, really want to find out who Emily Allen is! It is totally confusing. Loved chapter 4... Draco cheated on Pansy with Professor Allen?! Can't wait for more... when will we find out more about her?

Hmmm... not too far off the mark. Good guess, though. You will find out more about this 'cheating' stuff, but not between Draco and Professor Allen. Sorry!
Before posting this next chapter, I want to 'do a Dumbledore' and draw your attention to different parts of the story.
1. I'm not sure how many of you caught this, but in Chapter One, Harry notices that Professor Allen's black eyes look familliar. Keep this in mind.
2. Notice that Professor Allen seems to be on first-name terms with almost everybody Harry knows. This could possibly mean that Professor Allen was a big part of Harry's life, and he didn't even know it... *cough cough*
3. Notice that Professor Allen says that she saw Ron and Hermione at Grimmauld Place. This means that Professor Allen was at Grimmauld Place at some point in time. However, it has to be a time that Ron and Hermione were there and Harry wasn't. This should give you a pretty good guess as to when she was there.
4. Another thing to keep in mind... if there is indeed *something* going on between Professor Allen and Malfoy...
a. When would they have met each other? I assume you realized that Professor Allen has never attended Hogwarts, or else she would be in her 7th year.
b. Why was Malfoy terrified to see her on the train?
c. Why was she so McGonagall-like to him in the Great Hall, after Pansy stormed off?
5. With all this excitement about Professor Allen, I don't want y'all to forget about Hermione! I wonder why she didn't show up at breakfast...

Just wanted to give you guys something to chew on. I love hearing your theories. I'll get the next chapter up as soon as possible.

Uhhh writer101 im dying to find out what will happen, and yah i think that malfoy cheated with allen a ways back, and like had a bad break up. but i am wondering why she is limping? did she get hurt in a battle? or is she just doing that for show?

Next chapter on its way...

P.S.- I was wondering how long it would take someone to comment about her leg!! You know, sometimes she reminds me a lot of Moody. (No, this isn't a clue! She just reminds me of him.)

hmm there is a new chapter but it is the same one as the before......i dont really know why...and we have the same icons.....

Omigosh, I did post the same chapter twice! My bad. I'll have the REAL next chapter up by tomorrow. Sorry again!
P.S.- Speaking of avatars, I saw yours, thought it was hilarious, and I had to get it myself.

Okay, I'll post the REAL next chapter now...

OMG you are such a good writer!! and ohh the Suspense is killing me....what is allen really doing at hogwards???? what does she want to know???? info from harry and draco???hmm sounds suspicious... what will she tell him now?? what will he do with the information that he holds???? was mcg right about telling potter to not make friendly contact with allen??? does mcg know a dark secret about allen that she doesnt want harry to know??? what will malfoy do, now that he has to be nice??? is he working with allen?? ohh i cant wait, now i wont be able to stop thinking about it.

Thank you!
Next chapter on its way...

Dang, no feedback on the feedback thread. I did get someone to post on the story thread, though...
Anyway, next chapter is up there if you want to read it.

holy cow this is almost like the real book...i love it!

Thanks!
Next chapter coming...

I knew it. i knew there would be something about the leg. now just to find out who she really is and what was she doing at the department of mysteries????

hey i was reading ch 9 and i thought it was great but i was thinking you are a great writer and all but you have too many mysteries going...ok lets see
1.where is Hermione?
2.how did Hermione, Ron and Harry talk to Dumbledore if he is dead?
3.what is going on with Draco and Professor Allen?
4.who is professor Allen?
5.why does Lestrange want to kill professor allen?
6.why wont anyone tell Harry who professor Allen is?
7.how does everyone except Harry know professor Allen?

so yah if i think of any more ill post it but yah i am still going to read it to the very end but one of the mysteries need to be solved.

oh yah and...
8.why is snape and malfoy back?

the_prophet: For #2, re-read Chapter One very carefully. There are some helpful clues there.

Anyway, sorry I didn't get to post yesterday. I'm going to go and post another chapter right now, so keep your eyes open...

alright i will wait till the time is right but i mean this story is very....mysterious.

Next chaper on its way...

hm i have to say that im not that thrilled with your last chapter, but hopefully the next one will be as good as your other ones, thats one hard thing about writing a story, you have to try to make it good.

Yah, I was kind of hesitant about putting the 'Hermione-stuck-in-Vanishing-Cabinet' thing in there, but the introduction to the Vanishing Cabinet comes in handy later.
Anyway, next chapter will be up in a few...
P.S.- Hilarious avatar! That penguin is so evil... (snicker)

i changed my avator, because well you have it now, and i wanted to be different. so yah i like it also. but i like tha short chapter. harry walking away.....oh no....will ron and hermionie die????

Well, I'm going to post the next chapter now, so check the story thread to find out...
(Do you really think I'd have both Ron and Hermione die at once? That would just be too cruel...)

Okay, next chapter on its way...

hah i am happy that they are not dead. and the last chapter is cool i dont think its boring. emily and george!!!!!! funny. hmm i do wonder what will happen in the next chapter...a fight??? or will we find out why hermione endded up in the vanishing Cabinet???

Yes, Emily and George. For a little while, anyway. I am frustrated with myself: I can't come up with a good enough reaction for Snape when he walks in on them snogging...
Anyway, next chapter for you...

love it!!! really cool, but of course its shaddy that snape ignored emily, like always he is a dark person. but for some reason i am starting to think that emily might be a little on the dark side, something about he i dont like.

Sorry, but I just saw the ENTIRE OoTP trailer online, and it was so cool!
And I'm also happy because, well, I've been writing this fanfic on Microsoft Word and I'm almost finished with it! I don't know what I'm going to do when I finish and I still haven't posted it all here...
Anyway, next chapter's a good one. Enjoy!

Next chapter...

Ive actually, truly liked what you have written so far it is a really enjoyable read, are you sure you are not JK Rowling yourself? Anyways good job mate and keep it up.

your next chapter will be 16 the most recent one is 15

Wow, I've got a lot of chapters in this thing... yikes. By the time I'm finished, I might range somewhere in the 40's, I think.
No, I'm definatly not Jo Rowling. I think I'd know if I was...
Anyway, next chapter is REALLY cool... we'll see more about Voldemort trying to posess Harry. I think I've done a pretty good job on it, so here goes....

Okay, this chapter's a sad one. I actually cried when I was writing it... am I the only person who does that?

I absoluntly love this story i check everyday to see if you have updated!!! i love the way you have went along with the books but you also bring your own twist to the story. . . DONT LET HERMINONE DIE

writer101 what did you do to herminone? what is the closed ward?

Geez, she'll be fine! FINE! You don't think I'd kill her off this early, do you? She's not going the same way as Frank and Alice Longbottom, if that's what you're asking. I'm going to post the next chapter now, so you guys can get some updates as to what exactly happened to her...

im not mad, i love your writing, and to tell the truth will reading the new chapter i would have been crying if it wasnt for the rock music that i am listening. i like this chapter the most, where everyone just comes. and we see viktor . i dont like emily

another great chapter!!! i cant wait to read more and see what hermione will remember or if she even will remember anything at all. . . . update soon again (you always do anyway)

ahhh
soo sooos sooos sososososososooooo good!
keep it up, im loving this!

i absolutely love this! where's the rest?!?! you didn't die, did you? because that would really be awful. please write more!!!

i absolutely love this! why'd you stop? you didn't die did you?? that would be really awful.. please write more!!

Well, I don't think I died, because I'm right here. I try and update daily, even if I'm on here at 10 at night.
Anyway, as I said before, I've been writing this fanfic on Microsoft Word, and I've been posting a chapter a day on here. Anyway, I just wrote the final battle between Harry and Voldemort AND I KNOW WHO DIES!!!! But I'm not going to tell you.
On a different note, I've been working on a sketch of Emily lately, and, when I finish, I might find a way to either post it here or on the fanart thread... I don't think I did Emily justice when I first described her on my first chapter.
So, next chapter...

it was sooooo sad.... i would cry if one of my friends were in that situation....poor harry and ron...

i really hope hermione is ok... i know this isnt even real but ive been trying to finish my physics homework all day and this has been a wonderful distraction. i feel attached to the story already. thank you very much, and i look foward to the next chapter!