These are some things I collected from several places, actually I made up alot of them, but some I just collected them, hope you like them and add to them if you can think of something creative!

80 Things I'm not allowed to do in Hogwarts



1- I am not allowed to send proffesor Snape a hair shampoo. No matter how he desperately needs it.

2- Asking Hermione Granger out is not a good idea.

3- Running in the corridors shouting "VOLDEMORT'S COMING" grows boring after the first three times.

4- Seamus Finnigan is not "After me lucky charms".

5- I must not put out a life insurance on Harry Potter.

6- I will not sing "We're off to see the wizard" whenever I'm sent to the headmaster's office.

7- I will not tell Professor snape that "He's taking himself too seroiusly".

8- I will not write love letters to Dumbledore signed by "Your kitten".

9- I will not write on Firenze's back "Pony rides, Three sickles per ride".

10- I must not convince first years that the new password to the Gryffindor common room is "Pertificus Totalus" and must be said with their wands pointed at themselves.

11- I must not pay first years to pee in mad-eye Moody's hip flask.

12- I must not point at the Dark Mark in the sky and shout "To the batmobile, Robin"

13- I will not lock Gryffindors and Slytherins in a room and take bets on whom will come out alive.

14- Taking bets on Harry Potter and Voldemort's next battle is never a good idea.

15- Shouting at Voldemort "The man who let the boy live" is dangerous.

16- Asking Voldemort "Why can't the Dark Mark be something more socially acceptable" might get you in trouble.

17- Asking Professor Snape about "What shampoo does he use" might end you in detention.

18- Wearing a Golden cloak and pretending to be Gilderoy Lockhart is not a good idea. You can't get rid of fan girls.

19- Although they went to Grammar school together, Dobby is not Yoda in disguise.

20- Asking Dumbledore about "The pointed hat trick" is not a good idea.

21- Starting a betting pool on this year's DADA teacher is tasteless and tacky, not the perfect way for making money.

22- "Swish and Flick" is only a wand movement.

23- Challenging Ginny Weasley for a wizard duel while you are afraid of Bats is not a good idea.

24- Crashing a Ford Angelia in the womping willow is not the perfect way to make a grand entrance. Crashing it into Snape's office is.

25- I will not wear a turban over my head and tell Harry Potter that the dark lord is back.

26- I will not, under any circumstances, or in any occasion, convince Voldemort to go on the mugglenet Chat Room.

27- I will not cook vegetables in my cauldron, especially in potions lessons.

28- "Potter 6 - Voldemort 0" is not a valid T-shirt slogan.

29- I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him that they're real animals and that he must go look for them in the forbidden forest.

30- Stealing the Gryffindor sword from Dumbledore's office and using it to threat first years is not very good.

31- 42 is not the answer to every question in the O.W.Ls.

32- The Bloody Baron is not the perfect date for the yule ball. And yes, Even if you're The Gray Lady.

33- Messing around with Walden Macnair while on an official mission might lead you to Sir Nicholas' Fate.

34- I will not pay First years Leprechaun gold to do my dirty job. They'll notice it after a while.

35- I will not remind Voldemort every time I see him that it's not Halloween.

36- I will not ask Professor Snape why he chose Hogwarts in stead of Hollywood.

37- The Dead Man's Chest cannot be found by looking at the mirror of Erised.

38- I will not ask the Arithmancy teacher what the square root of -1 is.

49- I will not give out cookies to those who do the "Accio" Charm good.

50- I will not claim that my "X-Files" Tape is "Auror Training Videos".

51- I will not ask the Room Of Requierment to turn into "Voldemort's Hideout". "Snape's Bathroom" is a better idea.

52- I will not point out to the House Elves how much Sushi could be made of the Giant Squid.

53- I will not convince first years that Santa will not visit them in Hogwarts because they had been put under Snape's "Anti-Santa" Curse.

54- I will not get Hermione to stand infront of the mirror of Erised while in Ron's presence. That would be awkward.

55- I will not tell Professor Trelawny to "Get a life".

56- I will not come to Moaning Myrtle while she's asleep and draw on her head "50" and on her stomach "20" and on her legs "30" for each.

57- I will not use Tom Riddle's diary to throw at her.

58- I will NEVER put Fred, George, Peeves and The Marauders in one room.

59- I will not tell Sirius Black that Tonks is in love with him.

60- I will not ask Professor Flitwick if his one of the Smurfs.

61- I will not ask Dumbledore how old he really is.
62- I will not use Polyjuice potion to impersonate Voldemort and threaten first years. For one reason, Voldemort is hairless.

63- I will not charm the sorting hat to sing "If you're happy and you know it" at the start of the year feast.

64- I will not convince first years that Dumbledore is really Santa in disguise.

65- Nor will I convince them that Borgin and Burkes is a fun fair and Knockturn alley is the magical Disney Land.

66- I will not advice Draco Malfoy to go to Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. That applies to all Death Eaters as well.

67- I am not allowed to tell Mrs. Weasley that Fred and George nicked the Marauders' map from FIich's office. I might end with a Black eye.

68- Growing Marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is not "an extra credit project for Herbology".

69- I am not allowed to persueade First Years into making a Treehouse over the Whomping Willow.

70- I will not ask Professor Snape about Batman's cape.

71- The Phrase "Good Dragon, Nice Dragon, Please don't kill me" Doesn't work anymore.

72- I will not attempt to use the Whomping Willow to perform a Tarazan swing.

73- I must not convince First years that painting Professor Snape's dungeon in Pink and Lavender and decorating it in Roses will get them extra points
.
74- I must not bring balls of wool and give them to Professor Mcgonagall as a birthday present.

75- I will not tune Trelawny's crystal ball to CNN.

76- I will not convince Dobby that Harry Potter's greatest desire is to own a Pit Bull Named Riper.

77- I will not intoruce first years to Fluffy.

78- I am not allowed to draw a scar on Ron Weasley's forehead. Using Avada Kedavra in him to do it is just fine.

79- I am not allowed to tell people that Voldemort is a kind, loving person compared to me, it's a one way ticket to Azkaban or to St. Mungo's Mental Health Ward.

80- And Finally, Under any condition, In any occasion or in any circumstances am I allowed to ever, ever Try to be funny while in Hogwarts.

Hope you liked them and please add some of your own!

lol those were wicked funny! hahaha i needed a good laugh thanks. hmmm ill try some but they wont be as good as yours lol:

1. I must not disguise firewhisky as butterbeer and give it to first years.

2. I must not use my Invisibility Cloak to sneak up on Peeves, grab his nose and yell "GOT YOUR CONK!!! How do you like it eh?" in a creepy Bloody Baron voice.

3. Using "Sonorus" and "Quietus" to raise and lower the volume of my voice while saying "Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now?" at a Wizengamot hearing is probably not the best idea.

4. I must not repeatedly poke Dean Thomas' poster of his non-moving soccer players.

5. Disguising Dobby as a Chucky Doll and setting him loose in the first-year dormitory is WRONG. (but oh so funny:) )

Nice ones you got there Aguamenti353 I liked the voice volume one. Anyway, I managed to do three more:

1- Cheating on Hermione Granger might be the last thing you ever do, Especially if you're Ronald weasley and you're afraid of Birds.

2- Telling Mcgonagall "What's up, Pussy Cat?" Whenever you see her might ban you from your next Quidditch match. Especially if you're a Slytherin.

3- Befriending Harry Potter might lead you to your fate.

Hope you liked those.

hey! cool topic, i saw avatars that say Things I'm Not Allowed To Do In Hogwarts on the top, and they say loads of cool stuff on them, i'll try to find a few for you.....
ok...here we go..!

~if a classmate falls asleep, i will not take advantage of that fact and draw a dark mark on their arm.

~i will not bring a magic eight ball to divination class

~i am allowed to have a toad, rat, cat, or owl. i am not allowed to have a reticulated python, snow leopard, tasmanian devil, or pirahna.

~i will not lick trevor

~asking 'How do you keep a gryffindor in suspense?' and walking away is only funny the first time

~i am not to owl copies of the evil overlord list to suspected death eaters

~i will not ask dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick

~i will not take out a life insurance policy on harry potter

~proffesor flitwicks first name is not yoda

~it is generally accepted that cats and dragons cannot interbreed and i should not attempt to disprove this theory, no matter how wicked the result would be

~first years are not to be fed to fluffy

ok thays me done, i'll look for more and will probably be back layer =]

but heres a few of my favorites for your own personal enjoyment =] :

~I will not say the phrase 'dude get a life to lord voldemort'

~if the thought of a spell makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, i am to assume that i am not allowed to do it

~I am not allowed to introduce peeves to paintballing

~i will not lock the slytherins and gryffindors in a room together and take bets on which house will come out alive

~i will not yell 'believe it....or not!' after any of dumbledore's speeches

~i am not allowed to declare an official hug a slytherin day

ok im done =] will find more later bye!

-I must RESIST the urge to give Snape a hug.

-Calling group hugs on Slytherins is a BAD IDEA.

-I must not, under any circumstances, dye Fluffy's hair red and call him Clifford.

-I must hold back the temptation to shout "INK FIIGGGHHTT!!!" in the middle of Professor Binns's History of Magic class.

-It is WRONG to tell the first-years that the entrance to the Whomping Willow leads to the Mickey Mouse Club.

-I will never again call Malfoy Weasel-boy.

Those are the ones i could come up with for now. I hope you like them!

BTV

Here's some I thought of, being a Slytherin I thought these were a definate don't:

I will not try to set Crabbe or Goyle up on dates with Hermione and Ginny

I must not pass a note to Harry from Draco saying "Hey can we be friends?"

I won't tell Dumbledore what all of the Slytherins are really up to especially since it involves him

I would not get caught socializing with any of the Gryffindors, what would the other Slytherins think?

I will not get test answers for DADA and pass them along to Ron and Harry

I would not tell first years that Harry is really an evil dark wizard out to get them

I would not ask Professor Snape who his hair dresser is

I will not pretend to be friends with members of other houses just to learn their secrets

Well thats all I could think of for now, hope you enjoy them.

LOL! These are some funny ideas, I made up another one myself:

I will kiss neither Trevor nor Hedwig to gain students' votes in Prefect Elections.

Hope you like that! Keep up the good work.

-I must not say to McGonagall 'Here pussy pussy pussy'
- I must not say 'GROUOP HUG' in Potions
- I have to resist the temptations of offering chocolate to Draco
- I must not scream 'I LOVE YOU! CAN I HAVE A HUG?' to Harry, Ron or Draco

These are funny! Here's what I thought of:

I will not call Voldemort Voldy unless I want to be Crucio-ed.

I will not ask Professor Trelawney how long her inner-eye has been on vacation.

I must'nt ask the next DADA teacher if he prefers to be killed, sacked, locked in a trunk for 10 months, lose his memory, or be attacked by an angry horde of centaurs.

I will not count down the months the DADA teacher has left to live on the chalkboard in class.

LOL about the last post dealing with trhe DADA professors! I've thought of some more:

I must not run up to the trio and say "Hey can I have an autograph?"
I won't draw lightining bolt scars on my friends foreheads when they are passed out
I won't say to Flitwick , "Hey have you found your pot o' gold yet?'
I will not tell Neville that his parents are really not crazy thats just how they really are
I will not run and leap into Snape's arms and say "Kiss me you know you want too"
I won't tell Harry that Draco is secretly going to off him next on his list of "People to Dispose of That are of ANy Use at Hogwarts"

Hope you guys like these....

heres a few i found...

-I will not call the accio charm the force

- I will not put a kick-me sign on Draco Malfoy's back

-I will not go skinny dipping in the prefects bathroom

-I will not tell Proffesor Snape to find his Feminine side

-I also will not ask Proffesor Snape what bedtime stories his mother read to him as a kid

...

-i do not have to yell BAMF everytime i apparate

-i will not raise my wand above my head and shout "I've got the power"

-i will not do potions instructions backwards just to see what happens

- i cannot under any circumstances negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort

-i will not call ghostbusters on the ghosts and poltergeists no matterhow funny I find it.

-i will not ask Harry if his scar sense are tingling


heres one my friend said----- I wont walk up to voldemort with tinfoil on my head and tell him he cannot read my mind. (unless you want to be Avada Kedavra'd.)

Here is some i thought of :

1. I will not ask Dumbledore how to pull a rabbit out of a hat.
2. I will not call Dobby "Master Yoda" and give him a green lightsaber for Christmas.
3. I will not say to a dementor "I think you were ment to be auditioning for the part as a Nazgul in LOTR.
4. I will not break it to Draco that he lost the "Greasiest Hair" Award to Snape.

Well it's only a few but i hope you like them. .

Very funny, ahaha all of them are brilliant, I dont have any of my own but Im just commenting on how funny and awesome they were, I want to see more!

i really laughed about the DADAteacher ones, they were brilliant!

-i´m not allowed to say "go read a book!" to hermione if she annoys me...

-i´m not allowed to tell umbridge what i think about her...

-i´m not allowed to spit into dracos cauldron during potions...

i know they weren´t that good, but i´ll try to do better next time.

Here's some more, there are alot of funny ones posted here though lol

I will not walk up to Neville and say "Crucio" while watching him convulse on the floor

I will not tell Harry that the scar on his forehead is really a tatoo courtesy of Dumbledore

I will not tell Hermione that the library is closed for renovations

I will not put big hairy spiders inRon's bed

I will not tell Draco that Moaning Myrtle thinks he's "the Bomb"

I will not set fellow Slytherins up on blind dates with Gryffindors

I will not tell Fred and George that their pranks are oh so lame

I will not tell Viktor Krum that "Whit Guys Can't Dance" at the Yule Ball

I will not lead first years into the Forbidden Forest and tell them that it is part of the "Iniatiation Process" (hazing)

I will not put a "Babbling Curse" on Harry's parchment or put truth Serum in Ron's pumpkin juice

Man those are funny!!! Here are a few of my own to share...


1. I will not become an illeagal animagus and become pamala anderson.

2. I will not pee in a cup and tell first years that its firewhisky.

3. I must not tell harry that i found Ravenclaws favourite toilet seat and tell him its a horcrux.

4. I must not tell Hermione that the new headmistres closed the library, because she belives in practical learning.

5. I must not tell the house elves that the Slytherins requested a special meal of dragon dung.



Thanks,
~www~

Here's more I've thought of:

I must not force first years to drink pumpkin juice from a bong and tell them thats what first years do

I will not walk up behind Harry and yell "The dementors are coming"

I will not put an out of order sign on Moaning Myrtle's toilet and tell others to use it anyway

I won't sit in detention with Snape and ask him questions about his childhood

I will not tape a sign that says "Available" on the backs of Hermione and Ron

I won't use the invisibility cloak to sneak around school at night

I must not encourage fellow Slytherins to hit the Weasley's with bludgers

[quote name='MIKOH' date='Dec 17 2006, 12:17 AM' post='282196']
These are some things I collected from several places, actually I made up alot of them, but some I just collected them, hope you like them and add to them if you can think of something creative!
80 Things I'm not allowed to do in Hogwarts


1- I am not allowed to send proffesor Snape a hair shampoo. No matter how he desperately needs it.

4- Seamus Finnigan is not "After me lucky charms".

6- I will not sing "We're off to see the wizard" whenever I'm sent to the headmaster's office.

10- I must not convince first years that the new password to the Gryffindor common room is "Pertificus Totalus" and must be said with their wands pointed at themselves.

11- I must not pay first years to pee in mad-eye Moody's hip flask.

17- Asking Professor Snape about "What shampoo does he use" might end you in detention.

27- I will not cook vegetables in my cauldron, especially in potions lessons.

29- I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him that they're real animals and that he must go look for them in the forbidden forest.

35- I will not remind Voldemort every time I see him that it's not Halloween.

38- I will not ask the Arithmancy teacher what the square root of -1 is.

69- I am not allowed to persueade First Years into making a Treehouse over the Whomping Willow.


[quote name='DracosLady' date='Dec 17 2006, 10:38 AM' post='282511']

I will not ask Professor Trelawney how long her inner eye has been on vacation.

I must'nt ask the next DADA teacher if he prefers to be killed, sacked, locked in a trunk for 10 months, lose his memory, or be attacked by an angry horde of centaurs.

[/quote]
Wow! These are all very good. I don't think that I would be able to think of any quite as creative and comedic as these .
I found a website with many avatars listing these Hogwarts 'do nots'. If you would like to see then here is the link .

Hogwarts 'Do Nots'

Here are some more yet creative things not to do:

I will not tell Hagrid that Aragog is planning on cooking him as his next meal

I will not convince the Centaurs that first years are not innocents but open for the taking

I must not tell Harry that Voldy really wants to be his bud

I won't tell Neville that Herbology is really an illusion

I won't tell Seamus that the Head Leprechaun needs his assistance at the end of the rainbow

I won't tell Draco that he was really a pledge for Voldy's fratermity and he was being initiated

I won't tell Ron that Hermione is really in love with his sister

I will not tell first years that Fluffy is really the school mascot and is really quite friendly

I won't tell Crabbe that an engorging charm was placed on him in first year

I will not skip down the hall arm and arm with Harry singing, "Nothin But a "G" Thang"

hehe...DracosLady...good ones!

i´m not allowed to present hagrid a dragonegg for christmas.

i´m not allowed to tell neville that luna is having a crush on him...

i´m not allowed to tell the dark lord that lucius malfoy is way cooler than he is.

i´m not allowed to tell goyle that crab is having a crush on him...

i´m not allowed to advice snape to wash his underwear.

i´m not allowed to hug lupin every time i see him...but i´d really like to

hope i can think of some more...

Brilliant, all of them.

My brother and I came up with this one.
1. I will not (no matter how funny it'll be) give Peeves Fred and George's fireworks.
And here's some I came up with all by myself lol.
2. It's not a good idea to send Snape a Christmas card filled with insults signed, Love Sirius and James.
3. I am not allowed to sing to Mcgonagall 'What's up Pussy Cat' and 'Pussy Cat Pussy Cat I Love You.'
4. I may not dress up as characters from the Wizard of Oz for Halloween and sing 'we're off to see the wizard' and try to trick or treat at DD's office.

[font=Arial][size=7]


1. Do not go over to Professor McGonagall that Professor Dumbledore said she is looking very fine.
2. Seamus Finnegan is not “after me lucky charms!”
3. First years must not be fed to Fluffy
4. Do not buy Draco Malfoy a T-shirt that says future death eater on it for Christmas.
5. The Giant Squid is not appropriate date to the yule ball.
6. Never ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling.
7. Do not use Harry Potter’s Invisibility cloak to haunt Draco Malfoy.
8. Do not lock all the Slytherins and Gyrffindors in a room together and take bets on who comes out alive.
9. Do not under any circumstances ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss.
10. Do Not make fun of Lupin and his “time of the month”.
11. Do not bring a magic eight ball to Divination.
12. Do not tell first years that the door to Fluffy’s room is the secret passageway to Narnia.
13. Do not use professor Umbridge’s quill to write “I told you I’m Hardcore!”
14. Do not give Snape a portkey that leads right to Professor McGonagall’s bathroom while she is in there.
15. Tricking a school house elf into stripping does not mean that they are yours. Even if you do yell “Owned!”
16. Do not sing “We are off to see the Wizard..” whenever you are sent to the headmaster’s office.
17. If a classmate falls asleep do not take advantage of that fact and draw a dark mark on their arm.
18. Do not send an owl to Voldemort asking boxers or briefs.
19. Do not put a woopie cushion on the broom of every player on the Syltherin Quidditch team.
20. No matter how good a fake Australian accent you can do, do not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.
21. Growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is not "an extra credit project for Herbology".
22. Putting up Doug Henning posters in Filch's office is not appropriate.
23. Do not referring to showering as "giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful".
24. Polishing your wand in the common room is acceptable. "Polishing your wand" in the common room is not.
25. House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.
26. Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's Defence Against Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever money-making concept.
27. Do not refer to the Weasley or Patil twins as "bookends".
28. You are allowed to have a toad, rat, cat, or owl. I am not allowed to have a reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or pirahna.
29. Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar for his birthday.
30. Do not change the password to the prefects' bath to "Makes getting clean almost as much fun as getting dirty".
31. There is no such thing as an Invisibility Thong.
32. Do not offer to pose nude for Colin Creevey.
33. It is a bad idea to tell Professor Snape he takes himself too seriously.
34. Do not send Owls with copies of the Evil Overlord List to suspected Death Eaters.
35. Do not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter
36. Do not put a spell on Professor Snape to make him say “Harry, I am your father.”
37. Do not tell Harry Potter that he is living in the Matrix and everything that happened to him is not real.
38. Do not push Ron and Hermione under the mistle toe, no matter how bad you want to.
39. Avoid Peeves at all costs.
40. Do not take the first years into the forbidden forest for “initiation.”
41. Do not try to outsmart Hermione Granger, you will lose.
42. On april fools day do not dress up like Voldemort and hide in Harry Potter’s closet.
43. Never tell Harry Potter to “cry me a river.”
44. Do not switch Madame Pomfrey’s med’s with the Weasley Wizard Weezes.
45. Do not put Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy in the same room for some “bonding and healing time.”

Haha. Those were absolutely hilarious. I'd probably break half of those rules just for fun. I think my favourite ones are growing drugs to get extra credit in Herbology and "Polishing you wand". Lol. But..not to sound rude or anything...but what on earth is this thread for? I mean is it so we can say which we like out of those rules and discuss them or is it so we can make up our own and add more or whatever. What do we do and what is it for?

Here's some more I've thought of:

I must not tell ron that there is a big hairy spider in his robes

I will not tell Harry that it is Voldy and not Sirius who is his godfather

I will not tell Arthur Weasley that muggle stuff is really remote controlled artifacts

I will not tell Snape that The Trio got him a certificate for one year at the Hogsmeade day Spa

I must not tell first years that Voldy is Santa Claus and that they must sit on his lap

I must not tell Crabbe and Goyle that the Big Feast has been cancelled

I will not trail Draco around school and follow him into the prefects bathroom

I won't tell McGonagall that Harry and Ron put anti hairball medicine in her pumpkin pasties

I must not tell Gryffindor students that they will finish last in the House Cup Ceremony

I will not wak up to fellow Slytherins and say "Look its A Death Eater!" and laugh about it

Here's one that's more for the whole wizarding world.

I am not allowed to sing 'Ding dong the witch is dead' at funerals.

I am not allowed to bring my puppy to Hogwarts to eat Mrs. Norris.

Here's a complete list of mine.
some of them are mine, other's are from online and a few i took from fellow posters. but i wanted to post a complete list.
Hogwarts Rules


1. Do not go over to Professor McGonagall that Professor Dumbledore said she is looking very fine.
2. Seamus Finnegan is not “after me lucky charms!”
3. First years must not be fed to Fluffy
4. Do not buy Draco Malfoy a T-shirt that says future death eater on it for Christmas.
5. The Giant Squid is not appropriate date to the yule ball.
6. Never ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling.
7. Do not use Harry Potter’s Invisibility cloak to haunt Draco Malfoy.
8. Do not lock all the Slytherins and Gyrffindors in a room together and take bets on who comes out alive.
9. Do not under any circumstances ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss.
10. Do Not make fun of Lupin and his “time of the month”.
11. Do not bring a magic eight ball to Divination.
12. Do not tell first years that the door to Fluffy’s room is the secret passageway to Narnia.
13. Do not use professor Umbridge’s quill to write “I told you I’m Hardcore!”
14. Do not give Snape a portkey that leads right to Professor McGonagall’s bathroom while she is in there.
15. Tricking a school house elf into stripping does not mean that they are yours. Even if you do yell “Owned!”
16. Do not sing “We are off to see the Wizard..” whenever you are sent to the headmaster’s office.
17. If a classmate falls asleep do not take advantage of that fact and draw a dark mark on their arm.
18. Do not send an owl to Voldemort asking boxers or briefs.
19. Do not put a woopie cushion on the broom of every player on the Syltherin Quidditch team.
20. No matter how good a fake Australian accent you can do, do not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.
21. Growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is not "an extra credit project for Herbology".
22. Putting up Doug Henning posters in Filch's office is not appropriate.
23. Do not referring to showering as "giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful".
24. Polishing your wand in the common room is acceptable. "Polishing your wand" in the common room is not.
25. House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.
26. Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's Defence Against Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever money-making concept.
27. Do not refer to the Weasley or Patil twins as "bookends".
28. You are allowed to have a toad, rat, cat, or owl. I am not allowed to have a reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or pirahna.
29. Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar for his birthday.
30. Do not change the password to the prefects' bath to "Makes getting clean almost as much fun as getting dirty".
31. There is no such thing as an Invisibility Thong.
32. Do not offer to pose nude for Colin Creevey.
33. It is a bad idea to tell Professor Snape he takes himself too seriously.
34. Do not send Owls with copies of the Evil Overlord List to suspected Death Eaters.
35. Do not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter
36. Do not put a spell on Professor Snape to make him say “Harry, I am your father.”
37. Do not tell Harry Potter that he is living in the Matrix and everything that happened to him is not real.
38. Do not push Ron and Hermione under the mistle toe, no matter how bad you want to.
39. Avoid Peeves at all costs.
40. Do not take the first years into the forbidden forest for “initiation.”
41. Do not try to outsmart Hermione Granger, you will lose.
42. On april fools day do not dress up like Voldemort and hide in Harry Potter’s closet.
43. Never tell Harry Potter to “cry me a river.”
44. Do not switch Madame Pomfrey’s med’s with the Weasley Wizard Weezes.
45. Do not put Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy in the same room for some “bonding and healing time.”
46. am not allowed to send proffesor Snape a hair shampoo. No matter how he desperately needs it.
47. Asking Hermione Granger out is not a good idea.
48. Running in the corridors shouting "VOLDEMORT'S COMING" grows boring after the first three times.
49. I will not write love letters to Dumbledore signed by "Your kitten".
50. I will not write on Firenze's back "Pony rides, Three sickles per ride".
51. I must not convince first years that the new password to the Gryffindor common room is "Pertificus Totalus" and must be said with their wands pointed at themselves.
52. I must not pay first years to pee in mad-eye Moody's hip flask.
53. I must not point at the Dark Mark in the sky and shout "To the batmobile, Robin"
54. Taking bets on Harry Potter and Voldemort's next battle is never a good idea.
55. Shouting at Voldemort "The man who let the boy live" is dangerous.
56. Asking Voldemort "Why can't the Dark Mark be something more socially acceptable" might get you in trouble.
57. Asking Professor Snape about "What shampoo does he use" might end you in detention.
58. Wearing a Golden cloak and pretending to be Gilderoy Lockhart is not a good idea. You can't get rid of fan girls.
59. Although they went to Grammar school together, Dobby is not Yoda in disguise.
60. Asking Dumbledore about "The pointed hat trick" is not a good idea.
61. Crashing a Ford Angelia in the womping willow is not the perfect way to make a grand entrance. Crashing it into Snape's office is.
62. I will not wear a turban over my head and tell Harry Potter that the dark lord is back.
63. I will not, under any circumstances, or in any occasion, convince Voldemort to go on the mugglenet Chat Room.
64. I will not cook vegetables in my cauldron, especially in potions lessons.
65. "Potter 6 - Voldemort 0" is not a valid T-shirt slogan.
66. I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him that they're real animals and that he must go look for them in the forbidden forest.
67. Stealing the Gryffindor sword from Dumbledore's office and using it to threat first years is not very good.
68. 42 is not the answer to every question in the O.W.Ls.
69. I will not pay First years Leprechaun gold to do my dirty job. They'll notice it after a while.
70. I will not remind Voldemort every time I see him that it's not Halloween.
71. I will not ask Professor Snape why he chose Hogwarts in stead of Hollywood.
72. The Dead Man's Chest cannot be found by looking at the mirror of Erised.
73. I will not ask the Arithmancy teacher what the square root of -1 is.
74. I will not ask the Room Of Requierment to turn into "Voldemort's Hideout". "Snape's Bathroom" is a better idea.
75. I will not point out to the House Elves how much Sushi could be made of the Giant Squid.
76. I will not convince first years that Santa will not visit them in Hogwarts because they had been put under Snape's "Anti-Santa" Curse.
77. I will not get Hermione to stand infront of the mirror of Erised while in Ron's presence. That would be awkward.
78. I will not come to Moaning Myrtle while she's asleep and draw on her head "50" and on her stomach "20" and on her legs "30" for each.
79. I will NEVER put Fred, George, Peeves and The Marauders in one room.
80. I will not ask Professor Flitwick if his one of the Smurfs.
81. I will not ask Dumbledore how old he really is.
82. I will not use Polyjuice potion to impersonate Voldemort and threaten first years. For one reason, Voldemort is hairless.
83. I will not charm the sorting hat to sing "If you're happy and you know it" at the start of the year feast.
84. I will not convince first years that Dumbledore is really Santa in disguise.
85. Nor will I convince them that Borgin and Burkes is a fun fair and Knockturn alley is the magical Disney Land.
86. I will not advice Draco Malfoy to go to Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. That applies to all Death Eaters as well.
87. I am not allowed to tell Mrs. Weasley that Fred and George nicked the Marauders' map from FIlch's office. I might end with a Blue eye.
88. I am not allowed to persueade First Years into making a Treehouse over the Whomping Willow.
89. I will not ask Professor Snape about Batman's cape.
90. The Phrase "Good Dragon, Nice Dragon, Please don't kill me" Doesn't work anymore.
91. I must not convince First years that painting Professor Snape's dungeon in Pink and Lavender and decorating it in Roses will get them extra points
.
92. I must not bring balls of wool and give them to Professor Mcgonagall as a birthday present.

93. I will not tune Trelawny's crystal ball to CNN.

94. I will not convince Dobby that Harry Potter's greatest desire is to own a Pit Bull Named Riper.
95. I am not allowed to draw a scar on Ron Weasley's forehead. Or Use Avada Kedavra on him, it will not have the same effect as one Harry.
96. I will not try to kill Ron’s mother to make the above work.
97. I am not allowed to tell people that Voldemort is a kind, loving person compared to me, it's a one way ticket to Azkaban or to St. Mungo's Mental Health Ward.
98. I must not disguise firewhisky as butterbeer and give it to first years.
99. i must not use my Invisibility Cloak to sneak up on Peeves, grab his nose and yell "GOT YOUR CONK!!! How do you like it eh?" in a creepy Bloody Baron voice.
100. Using "Sonorus" and "Quietus" to raise and lower the volume of my voice while saying "Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now?" at a Wizengamot hearing is probably not the best idea.
101. I must not repeatedly poke Dean Thomas' poster of his non-moving soccer players.
102. Disguising Dobby as a Chucky Doll and setting him loose in the first-year dormitory is WRONG. (but oh so funny:) )
103. Cheating on Hermione Granger might be the last thing you ever do, Especially if you're Ronald weasley and you're afraid of Birds.
104. Telling Mcgonagall "What's up, Pussy Cat?" Whenever you see her might ban you from your next Quidditch match. Especially if you're a Slytherin.
105. Befriending Harry Potter might lead you to your fate.
106. asking 'How do you keep a gryffindor in suspense?' and walking away is only funny the first time
107. it is generally accepted that cats and dragons cannot interbreed and i should not attempt to disprove this theory, no matter how wicked the result would be
108. I will not say the phrase 'dude get a life’ to lord voldemort
109. if the thought of a spell makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, i am to assume that i am not allowed to do it
110. I am not allowed to introduce peeves to paintballing
111. i will not yell 'believe it....or not!' after any of dumbledore's speeches
112. i am not allowed to declare an official hug a slytherin day
113. I must not, under any circumstances, dye Fluffy's hair red and call him Clifford.
114. must hold back the temptation to shout "INK FIIGGGHHTT!!!" in the middle of Professor Binns's History of Magic class.
115. It is WRONG to tell the first-years that the entrance to the Whomping Willow leads to the Mickey Mouse Club.
116. I will never again call Malfoy Weasel-boy.
117. I will not try to set Crabbe or Goyle up on dates with Hermione and Ginny
118. I must not pass a note to Harry from Draco saying "Hey can we be friends?"
119. I would not tell first years that Harry is really an evil dark wizard out to get them
120. will not pretend to be friends with members of other houses just to learn their secrets
121. I will kiss neither Trevor nor Hedwig to gain students' votes in Prefect Elections.
122. I have to resist the temptations of offering chocolate to Draco
123. I will not call Voldemort Voldy unless I want to be Crucio-ed.
124. I will not ask Professor Trelawney how long her inner-eye has been on vacation.
125. I must'nt ask the next DADA teacher if he prefers to be killed, sacked, locked in a trunk for 10 months, lose his memory, be attacked by an angry horde of centaurs, or be killed by the OOTP for being a potential threat to the headmaster.
126. I will not count down the months the DADA teacher has left to live on the chalkboard in class.
127. I must not run up to the trio and say "Hey can I have an autograph?"
128. I won't say to Flitwick , "Hey have you found your pot o' gold yet?'
129. I will not tell Neville that his parents are really not crazy thats just how they really are.
130. I won't tell Harry that Draco is secretly going to off him next on his list of "People to Dispose of That are of ANy Use at Hogwarts"
131. I will not call the accio charm “the force”
132. I will not put a kill-me sign on Draco Malfoy's back, Fred and George might just do as told for once.
133. I will not ask Proffesor Snape what bedtime stories his mother read to him as a kid.
134. i do not have to yell BAMF everytime i apparate
135. i will not raise my wand above my head and shout "I've got the power"
136. i will not do potions instructions backwards just to see what happens
137. i cannot under any circumstances negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort
138. i will not call ghostbusters on the ghosts and poltergeists no matterhow funny I find it.
139. I wont walk up to voldemort with tinfoil on my head and tell him he cannot read my mind. (unless you want to be Avada Kedavra'd.)
140. I will not say to a dementor "I think you were ment to be auditioning for the part as a Nazgul in LOTR.
141. I will not break it to Draco that he lost the "Greasiest Hair" Award to Snape.
142. i´m not allowed to say "go read a book!" to hermione if she annoys me...
143. i´m not allowed to tell umbridge what i think about her...Or I like Harry might have “I must not tell lies” (while being perfectly honest) scared onto the back of my hand.
144. i´m not allowed to spit into draco’s cauldron during potions...
145. I will not walk up to Neville and say "Crucio" while watching him convulse on the floor
146. I will not tell Harry that the scar on his forehead is really a tatoo courtesy of Dumbledore
147. I will not tell Hermione that the library is closed for renovations
148. I will not put big hairy spiders in Ron's bed
149. I will not tell Draco that Moaning Myrtle thinks he's "the Bomb"
150. I will not set fellow Slytherins up on blind dates with Gryffindors
151. I will not tell Fred and George that their pranks are oh so lame
152. I will not put a "Babbling Curse" on Harry's parchment or put truth Serum in Ron's pumpkin juice
153. I will not pee in a cup and tell first years that its firewhisky.
154. I must not tell harry that i found Ravenclaws favourite toilet seat and tell him its a horcrux.
155. I must not tell Hermione that the new headmistres closed the library, because she belives in practical learning.
156. I will not tape a sign that says "Available" on the backs of Hermione and Ron
157. I will not convince the Centaurs that first years are not innocents but open for the taking
158. I must not tell Harry that Voldy really wants to be his bud
159. I won't tell Neville that Herbology is really an illusion
160. I won't tell Seamus that the Head Leprechaun needs his assistance at the end of the rainbow
161. I won't tell Draco that he was really a pledge for Voldy's fratermity and he was being initiated
162. I won't tell Ron that Hermione is really in love with his sister
163. I will not tell first years that Fluffy is really the school mascot and is really quite friendly
164. I won't tell Crabbe that an engorging charm was placed on him in first year
165. i´m not allowed to present hagrid a dragonegg for christmas.
166. i´m not allowed to tell neville that luna is having a crush on him...
167. i´m not allowed to tell the dark lord that lucius malfoy is way cooler than he is.
168. i´m not allowed to tell goyle that crab is having a crush on him...
169. i´m not allowed to advice snape to wash his underwear.
170. I will not (no matter how funny it'll be) give Peeves Fred and George's fireworks.
171. It's not a good idea to send Snape a Christmas card filled with insults signed, Love Sirius and James.
172. I will not tell Harry that it is Voldy and not Sirius who is his godfather
173. I will not tell Snape that The Trio got him a certificate for one year at the Hogsmeade day Spa
174. I must not tell first years that Voldy is Santa Claus and that they must sit on his lap
175. I must not tell Crabbe and Goyle that the Big Feast has been cancelled
176. I must not tell Gryffindor students that they will finish last in the House Cup Ceremony
177. I am not allowed to sing 'Ding dong the witch is dead' at funerals.
178. I am not allowed to bring my puppy to Hogwarts to eat Mrs. Norris.
179. I will not under any circumstances take a polyjuice potion to turn into Dudley and let Harry think I’m a wizard.


keep adding

I'm assuming that we can make up our own? Sooooooo ...

1: Don't shave off Dumbledore's beard while he's sleeping
2: Do not Jinx someone from behind and blame the person next to you.
3: Do not draw a face on Snape while he’s sleeping (No matter how funny it is)
4: Don't not drink polyjuice potion to look like Professor Umbridge, and then sneak up behind Harry; cover his eyes and yell, "Guess who?!"
5: Do not ask Professor MacGonagal how old see is and say it’s a wonder that she hasn't died of old age before now.
6: Do not ask Ron if he wants to meet your pet taranchular
7: Do not Prance around Hogwarts singing "I know something you don't know!" then when someone asks you what you know, say "My name is Harry Potter!"
8: Do not shave off Harry's hair while he's sleeping.
9: Do not tell Draco that you own a female ferret and your willing to introduce him if he likes
10: Do not do Professor Snape impressons at Dinner
11: Do not Write "Hermione's Sanctuary" on the Library door.
12: Do not hide Hermione's homework the day before it's due.
13: Do not keep telling Harry and co. that you still think Lord of the rings is better.

That's all i got ... well i actually have 101 ways to get detention at Hogwarts (Or beaten up, yelled at, points taken from your house, killed or expelled)

I loved yours Jewly, i loved number 8!

I must resist the urge to tell the first years planting a toffe under the Womping Willow will not grow a toffe tree.

That's all I have at the moment.

I found these on the internet!
~I will not use Gryffindor and Slytherin first years for christmas decorations.
~I will not teach the house elves to talk like Jar Jar Binks
~Bringing fortune cookies to Divination class does not count for extra credit

I came up with this one on my own!
~I will not ask Professor Flitwick when he will be teaching us how to use the force!
~Suggesting anger management to Harry is a bad idea when he's mad.

That's all I can think of for now!

lol guys, that was totally hilarious!
i have a few :

- do NOT label Snape as EMO
- do NOT give draco a "draco malfoy, the amazing bouncing ferret" shirt for christmas.
- do NOT ask a centaur if you can ride him

- remember Hermione is NOT an owl!

- never eat anything given to you by the weasley twins
- never tickle a sleeping dragon
- don't try to set house-elves free, they enjoy their servitude

Hi all,

Going through the master list, I found this thread, which has the same idea and feel to this thread that has been started. So instead of closing this one, I'm going to merge the two. Just letting people know in case you're wondering what happened.

1. I must not sell the video I took labeled "Malfoy the Bouncing Ferret" to Good Morning America.

2. I must not tell first years that the garden gnomes are actually relatives of the Traveling Gnome.

3. I must not eat before stepping foot on the Knight Bus, or something very bad will happen.

lol just a few i came up with hey 4 of mine were in x0xjewlyx0x's list, yay me! lol

OOh goody more "things not to do while at Hogwarts"

I must not walk up to Harry and yell "Look its Sirius he's back!"

I must not put truth serum in first years pumpkin juice and force them to spill their guts while telling them its part of initiation

I must not draw dark marks on Gryffindors arms with non erasable ink while they are dozing in class

I will not take Colin Creevy's camera and take blackmail photos of other houses and send them to the Daily Prophet

I must not tell Ron that he must report to Snape for detention, again!

I will not tell Hermione that all of the library books were burned by a couple of first years whose spell casting went bad

I will not walk up behind Draco and say "Look Voldy's here to pay you a visit"

I must not tell Snape that he has been chosen as the winner of a yearlong membership at the gym and day spa

This is all for now enjoy!

I must not wear my "Death Eater and Proud Of It" shirt to classes.

I will not attempt to magically annimate my marshmallow Peeps.

I will not tell snape he is ugly

This ones are really good!! Hilarious! I like the Snape as Emo.. lol. I would probably brake almost all of them just for fun to see what really happens. LOL

this is great lets see if i can write a few

- telling first years that snape is one of the power rangers is not a good idea

- giving goyle a t-shirt that says i'm with stupid with an arrow pointing upwards is not ver nice

-i must not tell the whole school that i'm voldemorts son/daughter

- sneaking up on voldemort and calling him tommy is a major no no

- i must not tell ron that viktor krum is 1000 times better than him

- i must not tell first years that the giant squid is squidward from spongbob

- i must not ask a centaurs if he's talked to mr ed lately

well they're not very good i'll try again later

1. I must not ask the first years to go and check how deep the Black Lake really is, by them jumping in!

2. I must not ask if I can measure Snapes nose!

3. I must not ask Fred and George when they were trying out there Skiving Snacks in GoF, where exactly they were getting boils! tehhhhheeeee!

4. I must not ask Snape if he prefers Boxers or briefs considering the fact he likes to get hung upside down alot!

5. I must not ask neville to keep trying my mystery potions!

Wow this was kind of fun! ~Kaili

HAHA these are really good i have seen a few websites with these sort of things on them but these are so much better i have a few...

i must not take part in or encourage any weasly twin activities

i must not enourage the first years to play tips around the whomping willow

thats all i have for now.

Here are yet a few more:

I must not buy Crabbe and Goyle matching hats with beer goggles on them and a straw leading to their mouths that says "This Buds for you"

I will not tell Harry that I saw his parents down at the Three Broomsticks and that they want to see him

I won't put superglue in Neville's bed so that when he tries to get out of bed he will scream "I can't get up!"

I won't give Seamus a box of Lucky Charms for breakfast and ask him how he gets up to the rainbow

I will not tell fellow Slytherins that Snape has ordered all of them to the dungeon for a class on "How to Be a Death Eater 101: The basics of Muggle Hunting"

I must not tell first years that all of this house sorting is really a hoax and they can go to any house that they choose with no repercussions

I will not tell McGonagall that the shepards pie she had for dinner was made with Meow Mix Anti Hairball Remedy

I will not steal Hagrid's recipe book and place it in one of the Hufflepuff's backpack and then tell Hagrid that they were planning on using his Sloat Sandwich recipe to make ex-lax laced brownies instead to feed to all first years

Thats all for now enjoy

I will not send Sirius flea medication.

I will not randomly start singing "I put a spell on you" in DADA class

I will not stand in the middle of Hogsmeade and yell "Where's the Walmart?"

So that's all I can think of for now.

ok a few more...

-I will not look into Voldemorts eyes for a long time then say you really are ugly are'nt you.

-I will not hold smelly shoes under Voldemorts nose and ask him if he can smell anything..

-I will not try to marry Voldemort and Harry Potter...(if they ever found out i wonder what would happen?)

-Do not ask Voldemort if he can breath out of his nose.

-I will not go to Hogwarts when and if i get my letter...(I would do all of the things i shouldnt do just to see what would happen)

-When you see voldemort do not yell the man who let the boy live!!!

-Do not ask Voldemort who to kill a 1-year old. He still doesnt know.

-Do not ask Voldemort, the all powerful Dark lord people really fear, why he hasnt killed an annoying teen age boy yet...

-Do not ask if Voldemort wears anything under his robes...

-You probably shoulnt shave hermiones cat, Crookshanks...(wonder what would happen?)

i have some more

- asking snape if his daddy loves him will get you detention

- i must not give any teacher any product from weasley wizards wheeze

- asking snape when was the last time he went out with someone will indeed land you a weeks worth of detention

- asking a centuar (sp?) what carasuel he's from is not a smart thing to do

- i must not ask snape what shampoo he uses so i won't use it



emm all for the moment

Those are sooooooo good!!! I will probably be horrible at this, but here you go!

-I must resist the urge to enchant 7-foot-tall Voldemort puppets and let them loose in the first year dorm.
-I should not run up to Umbridge, enchant myself with the Sonorus charm, and yell "THE CENTAURS ARE COMING!!! THE CENTAURS ARE COMING!!!"
-Stunning Professor McGonagall, dragging her into an empty room, then leaving her there and going to do the same to Snape, then placing Snape on top of McGonagall and calling Peeves and all the Slytherins and Gryffindors to come and see before I wake them up, is definitely a bad idea.
-Sending a valentine to Snape that sang mushy songs and was signed "Your sweetie, James P.", is very naughty.


I hope you like them.

Lol these are good . Amortentia<3 I like the Wal-Mart one.

1. I should not shout Willy Wonka's candy is better in Honeydukes.
2. I shouldn't tell Ron and Lavender to 'go get a room'
3. I shouldn't run up and down the halls screaming for no reason.
That's all I can think of for now.

lol, cool topic, aniwayz here, i have some:

-I will not, under any circumstances attempt to brush snape's hair
-Never will I test try any trial wealsey wizarding wheezes products
-I will not attempt to join mundungus fletcher in his illegal cauldron stealing business
-I dare not mention the name 'ludo bagman' in front of a goblin
-I will not give lupin a badly-behaved rabbit for his bithday
-Never will i attempt to steal a sherbet lemon from dumbledores office
-I shall never try & wag divination by stating 'the future is grim'
-For future notice, never give myrtle a gravestone with harry's picture on it
-Never attempt to cut sirius's hair
-I will never offer an orange dress to McGonagall, in the name of tabby
-I won't attmept to brew my lunch in snape's cauldron
-I won't bother to convince the 1st years, that dumbledore, is really santa clause in disguise

that's all for now

- I must not give Snape shampoo for Christmas

- I must not tell Peeves that the Bloody Baron has gone from the school/

- I must not tell Ron that Hermy is due to marry Krum

- I must not ask out Romilda for Harry without Harry's permission

- I must not tell Crabbe that he's looking a little "thin"

- I must not tell the first years that the Womping Willow is a "Friendship Tree" which likes to be sat in.



This is a GREAT thread

follow harry down the halls singing

"At first I was afraid, I was petrified, thinking I would never live without you by my side… "

1. When trying to win an argument against Professor Lupin, I will not resort to the phrase "Bite Me"

2. I will not enquire as to whether Professor McGonagall has been wormed, desexed and vaccinated

3. I will refrain from asking Professor Trelawney for next week's lotto numbers

4. I will not ask Firenze what size saddle he wears

5. I will never utter the phrase, "Neville, can you remind me to do this later?"

6. I will not streak across the pitch during quidditch matches

7. I will not ask Flitwick who's "Mini-me" he is

8. I will not paint the road to hogsmeade yellow and skip down it arm-in-arm with the trio

9. I will not tell first years: "If you want to get on Snape's good side, ask him to tell you about the hilarious prank that Sirius Black once played on him"

10. "We couldn't find the ping-pong ball" is not a valid excuse for stealing Professor Moody's glass eye

Not sure if they are any good, they are certainly nowhere near as funny as the original 80, which had me in stitches, and gasping for breath, but there you go.

They were great Kymar.

1. I will not get Sirius a balding rat with one toe missing named Peter.

2. I should not walk in front of Snape shouting, 'Make way for the Half Blood Prince! Seriously evil potions master coming through.'

3. No matter how funny I can not tell Snape making potions is girly and like cooking.

4. I should not get Snape with one of those aprons with cute phrases on them.

HaHA they ae all really good

I will not tell McGonigal I thought I Taw A Putty Tat.

I must refrain from promising i'll do something when 'pigs Fly"

I cant pretend to be moody with polyjucei potion whrn malfoy is around


thats all i have for now