Disclaimer: I only own my original characters (which hopefully is going to be only one...), everything from the Harry Potter books comes from the wonderful JK Rowling.
Thank you to my fantastic Beta, Aubrey, who is playing "Super Beta" these days with both of my fics. My sincerest thanks to you!
Please, please remember when reading this that the story is taking place in Harry's fifth year.
On to the fic then!
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Prologue
Misunderstanding.
It was a word she had heard and thought about far too much. She dreaded that fact because misunderstanding causes confusion, confusion causes pain, pain causes hate, hate leads to reckless decisions. There were far too many reckless decisions in her life. Many, if not all of them, were not even of her doing. Other people had made choices for her that now controlled her life. Most of these decisions had been decided too quickly, through white-hot anger and fear. It seemed like fear and hatred controlled her. She loathed it. She despised it. Sometimes, she even loathed and despised herself. But not anymore, she was determined not to let anything control her. She was so determined to be accepted, to be appreciated, to be loved. Love, such a simple thing to have, but one thing she had never felt, but so desperately longed for. She had never had anyone to teach her what love, even joy, was like. All she had ever known was fear and hate of the world. She was taught fear of the people on this earth and what they could do. Fear of carelessness. Fear of haste. Fear of unacceptence. Fear of hate. Fear of limitation. Fear of hurting. Fear of misery. Fear of pain. Fear of hate. Fear of death.
Fear.
It ruled her, controlled her. Every thought, every action, every decision she ever made was based on fear. She dreaded it because she could not escape it. That required bravery. Bravery was a trait which she never possessed. She envied the other children who could come and go as they please, walk into the city without hesitation. She was so frightened to do so. So scared to venture outside of the place she knew as ‘home’. She was so unsure of what to expect, unsure of people, their choices, even herself.
She knew she had hit rock bottom. She knew that there was no way out. No one wanted to help her, no one cared. They no longer looked at her with pity or even scorn; they seemed to just look through her. But yet the light at the end of the tunnel would not extinguish. A new hope came to her, in the form of a simple letter. Rather, it was an invitation, the the only thing in her life that she could say she was truly proud of. This invitation asked her to come to a new school called Hogwarts. This school was for very special young children who possessed magical talent. She was a witch. She always knew that she was different. Always knew that there was something very unusual about her, but she never, ever thought it was paranormal. But yet. If she stared at something too hard, it would move. If she wanted something that was too far away, she could concentrate hard enough so that it would come to her. If other children started to bother her… No, that happened only once, it was a mistake.
Magic.
So this was what her unique, little talent was called. If she was so unique and special than why had no one bothered to take her out of the orphanage? Why had no one ever helped her? Why had they just left her alone to wallow in her self-pity? She had learned to live and accept isolation for what it was; It was a gift. It gave her time to think, time to refine her ability. She could practice her gift without others questioning her. No sideways glances or awkward stares. If isolation was an indefinite part of life, then why push it away when she could embrace it? It wasn’t all bad being alone. She had been this way since her birth. Her stupid, careless parents left her all alone. Her mother had given birth to her and left her at the orphanage. They didn’t care about her. In their eyes, she was worthless. She knew she wasn’t, at least not completely, if she was, then why did this Hogwarts send her an invitation? She would prove to her parents that they were wrong and show them what she could really do.
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Phew... *wipes sweat off forehead* Anyway, a little secret, I do love reviews.
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