"Don't forget to give Neville our love!" Ginny told James as she hugged him.
"Mum! I can't give a professor love!"
"But you know Neville---"
James rolled his eyes.
"Outside, yeah, but at school he's Professor Longbottom, isn't he? I can't walk into Herbology and give him love...."

Albus jumped into the carrige and Ginny closed the door behind him. Students were
hanging from the windows nearest them. A great number of faces, both on the train and off
seemed to be turned toward Harry.
"Why are they all staring?" demanded Albus as he and Rose craned around to look at
the other students.
"Don't let it worry you." said Ron. "It's just me. I'm extremely famous"

Then, with a bright white flash and a crack, a crystal ball fell on top of his
head[Fenir Greyback], and he crumpled to the ground and did not move.
"I have more!" shrieked Professor trelawney from over the banisters. "More for any who want them!"

How do you feel, Georgie?" whispered Mrs.Weasley.
George's fingers groped for the side of his head.
"Saintlike." he murmured.
"What's wrong with him? croaked Fred, looking terrified. "Is his mind affected?"
"Saintlike," repeated George, opening his eyes and looking up at his brother. "You see...I'm holy.Holey, Fred, geddit?"
Mrs.Weasley sobbed harder than ever. Color flooded Fred's pale face.
"Pathetic," he told George. "Pathetic! With the whole wide world of ear-related humor before you, you go for holey?"
"Ah well," said George, grinning at his tear-soaked mother. "You'll be able to tell us apart now, anyway, Mum."

"...For instance, this new idea that You-Know-Who can with a single kill glance from his eyes. That's a basilisk, listeners. One simple test: check whether the thing that's glaring at you has got legs. If it has, it's safe to look into its eyes, although if it is really You-know-Who, that's still likely to be the last thing you ever do."
For the first time in weeks and weeks, harry was laughing: He could feel the weight of tension leaving him.
"And the rumors that he keeps being sighted abroad?" asked Lee.
"Well, who wouldn't want a nice little holiday after all the hard work he's been putting in? asked Fred. "Point is people, don't get lulled into a false sense of security, thinking he's out of the country. Maybe he is, maybe he isn't, but the fact remains he can move faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo when he wants to, so don't count on him being a long way away if you're planning on taking any risks. I never thought I'd hear myself say it, but safety first!"

"Is this the moment?" Harry asked weakly, and when nothing happened except that Ron and Hermione gripped each other still more firmly and swayed on the spot, he raised his voice. "Oi! There's a war going on here!"
Ron and Hermione broke apart, their arms still around each other.
"I know, mate." said Ron, who looked as though he had recently been hit on the back of the head with a Bludger. "So it's now or never, isn't it?"

Fred and George turned to each other and said together, "Wow - we're identical!"
"I dunno, though, I think I'm still better looking," said Fred, examining his reflection in the kettle.
"Bah," said Fleur, checking herself in the microwave door, "Bill, don't look at me - I'm 'ideous."

We did it we bashed them, wee Potter's the one
And Voldy's gone moldy so let's have some fun.

"Well, none of us really fancy it, Harry," said Fred earnestly. "Imagine if something went wrong and we were stuck as specky, scrawny gits forever."
Harry did not smile.
"You can't do it if I don't cooperate, you need me to give you some hair."
"Well, that's that plan scuppered," said George. "Obviously there's no chance at all of us getting a bit of your hair unless you cooperate."
"Yeah, thirteen of us against one bloke who's not allowed to use magic; we've got no chance." said Fred.
"Funny," said Harry. "really amusing."

"And are they getting married in my bedroom?" asked Ron furiously. "No! SO why in the
name of Merlin's saggy left-"
"Don't talk to your mother like that!"

Fleur walked over to stand beside him (Bill), giving him a soppy, slavish look that Harry hoped with all his heart would never appear on his face again.

"Are you intending to let him kill you?"
"Certainly not. You must kill me." There was a long silence, broken only by an odd clicking noise...
"Would you like me to do it now?" asked Snape, his voice heavy with irony. "Or would you like a few moments to compose an epitaph?"

"Dumbledore wanted to give me the sword? Maybe he thought it would look nice on my
wall."
"This is not a joke Potter! Was it because Dumbledore believed that only the sword of Godric Gryffindor could defeat the Heir of Slytherin? Did he wish to give you that sword Potter, because he believed, as do many, that you are the one destined to destroy He Who Must Not Be Named?"
"Interesting theory. Has anyone ever tried sticking a sword in Voldemort? Maybe the Ministry should put some people on to that, instead of wasting their time stripping down Deluminators, or covering up breakouts from Azkaban. So is this what you've been doing, Minister, shut up in your office trying to break open a snitch?

"I wish Uncle Bilius was still with us, though; he was a right laugh at weddings"
"Wasn't he the one who saw a Grim and died twenty-four hours later?"
"Well, yeah he went a bit odd towards the end."
"But before he went loopy he was the life and soul of the party. He used to down an entire bottle of firewhiskey, the run on to the dance floor, hoist up his robes and start pulling bunches of flowers out of his--"
"Yes, he sounds like a real charmer."
"Never married, for some reason."
"You amaze me."

"Sirius never cared about any of the junk-"
There was the sound of pattering feet, a blaze of shining copper, an echoing clang, and a shriek of agony: Kreacher had taken a run at Mundungus and hit him over the head with a saucepan.
"Call 'im off, call 'im off, 'e should be locked up!" screamed Mundungus, cowering as Kreacher raised the heavy-bottomed pan again.
"Kreacher, no!" shouted harry.
Kreacher's thin arms trembled with the weight of the pan, still held aloft.
"Perhaps just one more, Master Harry, for luck?"
Ron laughed.
"We need him conscious, Kreacher, but if he needs persuading you can do the honors."

And Peeves singing about Voldemort, and Ron's response that was funny too...
Peeves :"We did it, we bashed them, wee potters the one,
And Voldy's gone moldy, so now lets have fun!"
Ron : " Really gives a feeling for the scope and tragedy of the thing, doesnt it?"
LOL

Mrs Weasleys swear word...another classic...

“Oh, of course. I forgot we’ll be hunting down Voldemort in a mobile library.”

"We heard Snow White and the Seven Dwarves and Cinderall -
Ron: "What's that, an illness?"

"...but the fact remains that he can move faster than Severus Snape confronted by shampoo when he wants to..."

'Another Weasley? You breed like gnomes.'

"Accio Hagrid'

"Students out of bed! Students in the corridors!" "They're supposed to be, you blithering idiot!"

"There must be a secret message from Dumbledore hidden in the icing!"

"And are they getting married in my bedroom?" asked Ron furiously. "No! So why in the name of Merlin's saggy left-"

"Well, I don't know how to break this to you," said Ron, "but I think they MIGHT have noticed we broke into Gringotts."

"Very clever of you, sir, very clever, I personally would be utterly bamboozled by all those buttons and knobs," said Dedalus. He was clearly under the impression that he was flattering Vernon Dursley, who was visibly losing confidence in the plan with every word Dedalus spoke.

"You there. Give me your chair, I'm a hundred and seven."

"This girl is very nice-looking," Krum said, recallina Harry to his surroundings. Krum was pointing at Ginny, who had just joined Luna. "She is also a relative of yours?"
"Yeah," said Harry, suddeny irritated, "and she's seeing someone. Jealous type. Big bloke. You wouldn't want to cross him."

"You can't do it if I don't cooperate, you need me to give you some hair."
"Well that's that plan scuppered,"said George."Obviously there's no chance at all of us getting a bit of your hair unless you cooperate."
"Yeah, thirteen of us against one bloke who's not allowed to use magic;we've got no chance,"said Fred.
"Funny,"said Harry."Really amusing."

when hermione was doing something (i dont have the book in front of me) and she said something like but how do you light a fire and harry said "are you a which or what" so funny loved it