hey,

this is a one shot that's totally different from my others. I love this one because it's a little down and it's a sort of sequel to my long story "What if?" (BTW I'm working on a sequel.)
I hope I'll get some feedback and please be honest. I don't really care if the feedback is bad, I would even love it if it was bad because then I know I have to change.

Greets Rox
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Why?

-Who the hell am I ?-. Being 16 is a hard thing especially when you’re an orphan or at least abandon. This is Me. My name is Lizie, well actually Elisabeth Ankhesenamen but everyone calls me Lizie.
Mom committed suicide when I was 7 and my real father I never knew. I’m not a weak thing, I have three younger half-siblings and therefore I have to be strong. My dream is to become an auror to destroy the things that destroyed my life. Next week I turn 16 and I’m not that exited about it. A normal girl would be trilled to get a new broom or a new room or even a new boyfriend. Well I’m not like that I want to be alone on the day of my bloody birthday. I hate it, I hate the 23rd of May, I hate the day my mother gave me my life.
Every single day in the past nine years I saw how it is to be alone. I never really understood why mom left us, I never really understood why Papa, my stepfather who was killed 10 moths later, loved me and why I never knew my real dad. Mom always talked about him and how they met but never a name and never a person always a shadow of her past. The only thing I knew of him was that he had red hair and his surname was Weasley but further I don’t know a thing about him.
The past is past mom always said and that’s something she was good in forgetting the past. When mom was still alive I never really knew her but after she died I heard that she lost her parents, her guardians and in the end her mentor. Auntie Tonks ,who was like my sister I really looked up to her, said that mom wasn’t that happy in the end and that she never really left us. Ok I get it mom is our memory but why did she leave me? Was I that bad? Did I look to much like my father? No one ever gave the answer to that question.
Every time I asked about my mom they said I had to try to forget about it. But do they even know how it feels to see your mother lay there dead? I saw mom, I saw how she laid there, I saw how my mom had left me and I read her last letter. For a seven year old is that a boost to adulthood. I lost my childhood on that moment I lost my last friend, my past and future the day my mom left me. I look selfish and I know Papa had a hard time too. Sirius was only six months old and Yuri and Voltura , well I don’t really think that a five year old and three year old already get that. I was seven and I was a little mature for my age but I didn’t want to grow so fast. When auntie Tonks died I broke, eight I was and my last hope was gone. By that time I lost my godmother, my godfather, my mothers friends, who were my aunts, and my grandpa Sev. Everyone who once knew my mother was gone inclusive her. I felt at some point that I had go on, I had to live, I had to show the world that I was still there. I did so and I know I’ll never grow out of my old wounds but hey I’m a big girl now and I’m my mother’s daughter. I’m proud of what she was and I’m proud of her friends, who all fought so bravely during the war and I know no one will ever forget what they did for us. They saved us from a world under the Dark Lord. They are the saviours of our generation, they are the fallen heroes, the heroes whom changed history. I’ll further on my path and every time I’ll look back I’ll see all my fallen heroes, my fallen friends and I’ll wave at them and I’ll see their faces and then I know they’re proud of what I’ve become and They’ll know I’m still proud to live while they’re gone. I’ll live with a part of them in me, a part that forever will by a child.


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Feedback here please

hey,
Normally this had to be an one shot but because the first chapter was a little "EMO" according to some people (one person) I thought I'm going on with this story and here it is a new chapter and we'll see how far this gets leave feedback and I'll shall see what to do next.
Greets Rox
for the grades look down there's only one grade but it's just fun knowing it
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CHAP II

‘Dark Arts!’ a girl yelled in the Great Hall of Durmstrang, which was big and full of round tables where the students were sitting at this particular hour.
‘What is it now, Elouise ?’ the pink haired girl, who forced her to sit down, said annoyed
‘I’ve failed it. I have a 2’ The golden haired girl said back
‘yeah right. What next you’re getting married to Viktor?’ her hair turned blue
‘how do you know that?’ a black-haired girl with red lips said sarcastic from behind the now white haired girl, ‘you know Liz you really have to stop that it’s annoying.’
‘What’s annoying?’ Lizie asked
‘you changing your hair color every second.’ The girl said
‘look Ontsyforova Marcowich it’s MY hair so I change it as much as I want.’
‘now I’m scared veasley.’ Ontsyforova said
‘Rova’s right, don’t you think it’s bad for you to change it that much?’ the girl who sat down had now spoken
‘very well I’ll turn it ginger like I did when I was little and my name is Weasley with a “W” capiche?’ Lizie said
‘hey, Elouise what happened?’ Rova asked to get away from Lizie’s anger
‘I’ve failed my Dark Arts exam.’ Elouise said
‘NO’ Rova shook her head briskly
‘what about you Lizie have you got your result yet?’ Elouise asked to the now Ginger haired Elisabeth
‘nope’ she said
‘and you, Rova?’ Elouise turned her head to Rova
‘yep.’ Rova answered
‘and?’
‘I haven’t failed it up till now.’ Rova said picking up a newspaper that laid in front of her and she sat down next to Elouise, ‘hey, look who’s in the paper today.’ She pushed the newspaper to Lizie, who was now sitting opposite her on the small round table. The newspaper, which had the name “Vandrinovich’ Daily Report”. On the front cover was the main title “Will he or Will he not?” and underneath it was a picture of a dark-haired man with a large, curved nose and thick, black eyebrows.
‘why do I care he’s in the paper?’ Lizie said annoyed
‘I don’t know maybe because he’s HOT’ Rova said
‘O c’mon Rova he’s good looking but don’t you see more in him than just that gorgeous chest of his.’ Elouise said, ‘just forget that last thing that I said.’ She said quickly responding on Lizie and Rova’s eyes, which got bigger.
‘you’re kidding me right. you like him?’ Lizie asked
‘well yeah he’s a good Quidditch player.’ Elouise blushed
‘hey Lizie!’ a tall boy ,who looked like Viktor Krum but only younger and with green eyes, yelled waving and walking towards Lizie.
‘Yuri what did you blow up this time?’ Lizie asked to the boy.
‘You’re a third year right?’ Rova asked to the boy before he could open his mouth.
‘yes and I didn’t blow a thing up, why do you keep asking me that?’ he said
‘because last time you came to me was because you blew up a toilet, remember?’ Lizie said
‘Aren’t you that Krum boy?’ Rova asked
‘Yes, I am. My name is Yuri Philiphus Krum pleasure to meet you.’ He said
‘you’re family of Viktor Krum, right.’ Rova said
‘there we go again.’ Lizie said between her teeth.
‘yes he’s my uncle.’ Yuri answered
‘can you get my an autograph or a date?’ Rova asked with puppy eyes
‘Sorry I can’t help you with that, his manager does those things.’ Yuri said and he winked at Lizie. Before he left he slipped a piece of parchment into her pocket.

Later that night Lizie was walking down the corridor where the suites where. The suites were like little apartments, every suite had four bedrooms a bathroom and a common room. They were built underneath the castle and a part underneath the grounds. The corridor was dark and Lizie had to use her wand to find her way trough the darkness. On the wall you could see the pictures of memorable ex-students and headmasters, paintings of dragons and dragon slayers, Quidditch heroes, historical figures and a string. Wait a string, what the hell is that doing there. Lizie walked towards the string and looked at it. She saw that it was out of red lace, she looked at it again and grinned, if a teacher would find this the owner would be in serious trouble and she walked further.
Near the end of the corridor she stopped and opened a big oak door and she entered. She came in the common room, which was painted in an ivory colour and had a wooden floor, in the far end was a fire place with three white Victorian sofa’s surrounding it, above the fireplace was the school emblem and a small tea table, which had beautiful sunflowers on it, was standing in the front of the fireplace. The other girls were already sleeping so she was alone. Time to write some letters and read some. She placed her books and her schoolbag on the oak desk, which was the neatest of the four desks that were standing in the corner next to the door. On her desk was a picture standing, which showed a beautiful young woman on it with a small girl the woman was in her mid-twenties and the girl was five or six years old. The woman had long blond hair and emerald green eyes and the girl, who was her daughter, had the same eyes but had ginger hair. She looked happy but that was the outside. Lizie knew that that woman, who was her mother, was dieing inside. She stopped thinking about her mother and pulled out parchment and her pen and went over to the sofa and sat down. First she read the little piece of parchment she got from Yuri during the day. It read :


A new broom was a good idea because her last one was damaged so badly that the school broom repairer couldn’t make him anymore. Then she remembered she had to write an other letter the letter Yuri helped her remember to write. She knew Viktor would have been waiting for that letter every hour of the day but she also knew that she had to write her letter when everyone was asleep if she wanted to be seen normal. She started writing and a few minutes later she had written her letter, she putted it away and went to her bed room. She was tired and tomorrow she had a D.R.A.G.O.N. ( a Durmstrang Requirement Application for Governmental Official Notabilities.) she had studied so hard for History of Magic, but she was afraid she would forget stuff. One of the subjects she had to study were the founders of Hogwarts. All of them great wizards and witches but one of them gave Lizie a strange familiar feeling, like she knew him. Salazar Slytherin, yes Slytherin she had heard that before but she couldn’t place it. She was thinking maybe one of his abilities were the clue, he was a Parselmouth, he could talk to snakes, what’s the big deal? When she was little she didn’t have dolls she had a snake, a real living snake, a snake that talked to her. Wait a second she could talk to snakes and he could too? Does that mean? No, it doesn’t it would be absurd. She thought and she fell asleep from the moment she had closed her eyes.

P.S.: (here are the grades from the story: "5" = excellent "4" = good "3" = satisfactory "2" = unsatisfactory / failing)
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Feedback always welcome

I know it has been a long time since I posted but I really didn't have that much time. this chapter was done since last week but because of my birthday and all I forgot to post. sorry.
I know this had to be a one shot but I really have to bring up the mood of it it's a little to down now. I'm working on it. so read an leave feedback bad feedback is welcomme too (just so you'd know)
P.S. I thank Oasis for their good songs and I'm sorry about Elouise's stupid use of it
greets Rox
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CHAP III


‘Rise and shine!’ Rova yelled when she entered Lizie’s room
‘the weather is perfect and the mist is fading.’ Elouise, who looked like a hippie with a red striped messenger-bag, said
‘what’s the day?’ Lizie asked getting out of her round bed, which was standing in the middle of the room.
‘we’re Saturday the 20th of may.’ A dark brown haired girl with light green eyes, who just entered the room, said
‘when did you get back, Charissa?’ Lizie asked
‘last night.’ Charissa answered
‘why did you actually had to go?’ Elouise asked
‘there was something wrong with my grandfather.’ She said
‘and that’s why you had to go back to Greece?’ Rova asked
‘yes my grandfather needed me.’
‘Phaon right?’ Lizie said
‘yep, Phaon Agamendes. He was sick and scared he would die.’ Charissa said sitting down on Lizie’s bed
‘and is he…uhm…dead?’ Elouise asked
‘ELOUISE! You don’t ask things like that.’ Rova yelled
‘no he’s not but the healers faired it for a while, him being 189 and all.’
‘that’s still young, I’ve heard from someone that a Dendronovich once became 227 years old.’ Rova said
‘Dendronovich’ are all werewolves, remember, they live longer than a normal wizard or witch.’ Elouise said
‘not all are werewolves, that one who plays with the “Vratsa Vultures” is not a werewolf.’ Rova said
‘just forget about it. Today Lizie is playing in the Quidditch cup final.’ Charissa said
‘yes, Today is gonna be the day, That they're gonna throw the Quaffle back to you.’ Elouise started singing.
‘Stop it Elo you’re annoying when you’re trying to sing Muggle songs.’ Charissa said
‘By now you should've somehow, got the snitch that’s what you gotta do, I don't believe that anybody is as good as you in Quidditch.’ Elo sang further
‘LALALALALA.’ Charissa placed her hands on her ears and started singing real loud
‘Silencio!’ Rova yelled and Elo’s mouth still moved but you couldn’t hear a thing.
‘finally, peace!’ Lizie said
‘why does she always starts singing?’ Charissa said looking at Elouise, who got out of the room.
‘I’ve heard Viktor Krum comes watching the game.’ Rova said
‘that’s just great isn’t it.’ Lizie said sarcastic
‘I’ve also heard that there are going to be scouts.’ Rova said looking at a disgusted Lizie
‘maybe you’ll get a contract.’ Charissa said enthusiastic
‘yes but I don’t want to.’ Lizie said ,‘I want to become and Auror that’s it.’
‘Lizie you’re sick, if you get and Quidditch contract you’ll have to take it.’ Rova said
‘yes, mom.’ Lizie said and suddenly Charissa started laughing hard.
‘how where your D.R.A.G.O.N.’s BTW?’

That afternoon in the Quidditch pitch locker rooms. The final of the Quidditch Cup was between the “Moscow Devils” and the “Bulgarian Angels”, which had Lizie as Captain.
‘Dubrovnic can’t win we have to show that Bulgaria has the best players.’ Lizie said to her team
‘have you seen Dubrovnic’s team?’ a large boy, who was sitting opposite Lizie, asked
‘yes and?’
‘he has Zivon Zavinovich, that guy is like “IT”’ the boy said
‘Look Sacha I know he has that geek but we have each other we’re stronger than him and Dubrovnic is going to show off because of the Russian scouts.’
‘you’re right Lizie we’re going to show them that we’re the Best!’ a Girl named Zofeia said
‘Heads together! BUL…BUL...BULGARIAN ANGELS!!’ they all yelled and left to the pitch.
‘welcome to the Quidditch cup final of this year, we’re the 20th of may 2006 and the day is perfect. The teams are in shape and we have a legend here.’ The commentator boy said, ‘Viktor Krum is here!’,
‘uhum uhum, there’re also a few Quidditch scouts here.’ The Professor, who sat next to the boy, said.
‘yes that too so people get ready cause here are the teams please welcome the “Moscow Devils” with their captain and lady-killer Chaser Matysh Dubrovnic, Seriozhenka, Gizheurann, Beaters Perginov and Strubanov, Keeper Grigorii Oleg and Seeker Valerik Mendes.’ A loud applause came from the stadium, ‘and now the “Bulgarian Angels” the chasers Motka and Manya Kavinshki and Sbyslava Yknvesschnev, Beaters Siny Bischnev and Yrik Potenvski, keeper Tina Tintenkov and last but not least the most beautiful and talented seeker in the world Elisabeth Ankhesenamen Weasley! Let the game begin!!’
The captains where floating opposite each other and they were looking strait into each other eyes. ‘I’ll try not to hurt you sweetheart.’ Dubrovnic said grinning and tossing a kiss
‘O I’m not worried about my safety but about yours, Honey.’ Elisabeth said grinning and Dubrovnic’s grin fainted.
‘Captains take your own positions and we’re starting.’ The referee said and he released all four balls from the central circle.
‘and the game has started. Motka has the Quaffle and he tosses to his sister Manya, she going fast and yes, yes she scores! 10 points for the Bulgarian Angels!’
Two hours latter the game was still on and the score was 310-240 for the ‘Moscow Devils’
‘I’m going after the Snitch.’ Lizie whispered to Tina when she passed the goal hoops. Lizie looked at Mendes and saw he didn’t see the snitch yet so this was her time to move. She saw the snitch near the other goals and flew as fast as she could towards it. Mendes had seen it and followed her. When they almost reached it, it flew further and it took a quick dive down to the ground. Lizie and Mendes followed it trying to grip it but they didn’t get it. They dove deeper and deeper towards the ground and none of them gave up. Lizie gripped the Snitch just before Mendes but before they both could pull up they smashed against the ground. The last thing Lizie heard was the commentator cheering that the “Bulgarian Angels” had won. It seemed like she past out for months but actually she was only out for five minutes. She stood up and saw every player was looking at her and she said : ‘I’m OK’ and she walked to the Captain room.
She sat down on a chair and she placed her head into her hands. Her head felt like it could explode any moment. She had won her game and proved to be the best. Three days and she would be 16 and the best gift she would ever get she just had: winning from Dubrovnic.
‘you were good.’ A voice said. She got up and saw a familiar face.
‘thanks. I learned from the best.’ She said smiling
‘I was sitting next to an English scout and he was planning to ask you if you were interested to be reserve seeker until you’re 17.’ He said
‘did you hear something about Dubrovnic? He’s already 17.’ She said
‘Russian scouts are planning to put him into the national team.’
‘Viktor?’
‘yes?’
‘did they say something else?’
‘no, I told them that they had to go to your manager.’
‘I don’t have a manager, Viktor.’ She said
‘now you have.’
‘what do you mean?’
‘I made sure you have a manager now. Tomorrow you’ll get your first letters and soon you’ll be famous.’ Viktor smiled, ‘I knew that you would turn out like this one day.’
‘Thanks, Viktor. But you really didn’t have to do it I’m not planning to start a Quidditch career.’
‘What? After all I’ve done.’
‘Viktor I’m sorry but I don’t think it’s something for me.’
‘Look, Liz, I know you want to become an Auror but you have to take this chance.’ Viktor said
‘can I do it both?’
‘if you are ready to live a double life and work under great pressure I guess you could. Think about it.’
‘I’ll see, and now get out of here I want to change.’
‘O c’mon I’ve seen you wearing less than your underwear.’ He grinned
‘VIKTOR! I was five.’
‘what about last Christmas?’
‘you stormed into my room and I still wore my…’
‘Notting?’
‘I still wore that towel. Get out before someone sees you! I can’t have it that people see us together.’
‘OK calm down and BTW how were your D.R.A.G.O.N.’s’
‘still two to go.’
‘which two?’
‘VIKTOR! Philosophy and Transfiguration.’
‘good luck and I’ll see you soon.’ He walked towards her and kissed her forehead, ‘think about what I said.’ And he left.

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feedback


P.S.: they all speak russian but I thought it was better to write in english so everyone gets it