Disclaimer: All characters and settings in this story are the property of Miss J.K. Rowling.

Rules and outline of this collaboration. The story takes place around about the time of Halloween in PoA, for no other reason that I liked this time. The story can include any of the characters from all 7 books including those subsequently killed off by JKR. Although this story will be not strictly canon, for the purpose of this story, even though at this point in PoA Harry hadn’t inherited it, he will have the Marauders Map. Also, for the sake of other writers who may follow you, it would be better if we do not invent new characters…..too confusing! Remember to keep it PG rated, and above all have fun! Oh and leave a link to the feedback thread!


All of the events detailed in the following passages, took place on the nights of 30th October and Halloween. Every person mentioned was there, and their names have not been changed to protect their identities.

Reader beware, for the events you are about to read, really happened!

Picture the scene, Hogwarts castle was gloomily lit with pumpkins and candles floating as if supported by invisible string. An eerie mist floated around the grounds, drifting spookily through gaps under doorways and cracks in window panes.
The castles resident ghosts were excitedly waiting for Halloween night, their favourite time of year.

Harry, Ron and Hermione had just left the Great Hall after dinner and were reminiscing about a previous Halloween, which had see a giant Troll rampage its way through the castle. When suddenly the three found they had absentmindedly wandered out of bounds.

Outside, unknown to the Dementors, the Grims, Werewolves and other creatures of the night, something was stirring. Something so demonic and so terrifying, Hogwarts would never be the same again.

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Suddenly, Hermione looks around in shock.

"What is it?" asks Harry.

"Don't you realize where we are? We've wandered out of bounds," replied Hermione.

Ron, turning a sickly shade of green, wimpers in the background. "M-Maybe we should get out of here."

"Why," asks Harry. "It's not like there are more trolls hanging around this year. And if there are, we can just knock him out with that huge pumpkin you're carrying around." Harry stifles back a chuckle while Ron cuts him an angry look.

Hermione glares at Harry. "Harry, there could be dementors lurking around. Or worse, we could get caught and lose points for Gryffindor." With a perplexed look on her face, she turns to Ron. "Why ARE you carrying around that pumpkin, anyway? I know it's Halloween tomorrow, but really."

"Maybe he's planning on carving Snape's face into it for the scariest jack-o-lantern contest, " supplies Harry with a laugh.

Suddenly, from the shadows beyond their vision, a strange noise fills the air.

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AAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!! (Or something that sounds like a wolf for this matter...)

The three of them jumped.

"Merlin's beard, hat and pants!", Hermione said. Ron dropped the abnormally large pumpkin he was carrying. It made a noise like a thud on the ground, and almost broke into pieces.

"W-What was that?", Ron said, "do you think that was possibly a-a..."

"Yes Ron, it was a werewolf, I'm pretty sure about that. And seriously Ronald, WHY are you carrying THAT?", and she pointed at the pumpkin laying on the grass, and made a gesture of annoyance as if she had just seen Draco Malfoy throw a kiss at her.

"Shush!", came Harry's voice from behind. While the other two were walking, Harry had been left behind. His eyes were fixed into something in between a couple of trees, but neither Ron or Hermione had noticed it. They both looked back.

"Are you sure Hermione? You know, there are spiders in the forest, this wouldn't be a good time for you to be mistaken", replied Ron. "Do you reckon you're not seeing spiders Harry?"

"There's something in there, I saw something, dunno what it was though, I'll try to get closer", continued Harry. He made a move as to go deeper inside the forest, wand at the ready, and suddenly, something that neither expected came out from a clearing amongst the trees.


Note: Sorry if you don't like it guys, this is the first fanfic (or actually part of one) that I have ever written, I just thought it would be nice to give it a go for a change. Great idea etphonehome!

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The leaves crunch beneath their feet as they cautiously advance toward the eerie sniffling sound.

"I...I think we should be heading back," said Ron fearfully. "It's just about time for dessert. Do you think they will have pumpkin tarts this year?"

"Honestly Ron,"said Hermione annoyingly. "At a time like this, how could you possibly be thinking about your stomach?"

Harry rolls his eyes at his two best friends. He was getting used to the constant sparing matches that seemed to be occuring between Ron and Hermione lately but sometimes the tension was just too much. "You two should just kiss and get it over with already."
Harry knew the exasperation in his voice was evident but just as he was about to follow up with an apology, a bloodcurdling scream fills the peaceful night sky.

"Wh...what in the bloody hell was that?" stammers Ron as he grips Hermione's hand tightly.

Hermione, who had been open-mouthed ready to retort to Harry's ridiculous assumption about her and Ron, had frozen mid-sentence grasping at Harry's cloak. "I don't know Ron, but the circulation is definitely cut off from my right hand."

Darkness seems to have quickly decended upon the Forbidden Forest like a heavy, wool blanket covering the night sky. It was nearly impossible to see two feet in front of you yet Harry pulls his friends forward. "Come on guys, it came from over this way."

The crunching of their feet were not the only ones heard in the forest. Something was moving rapidly towards them. Terrifying footsteps could be heard tramping through the deadened leaves. Up ahead a tall, dark shadow approaches the three friends like a vulture swooping down upon its prey. Its movements are anything but graceful as the figure lumbers awkwardly through the dense forest. Suddenly it collapses in an uncollected heap.

"Oh, for heaven's sake," said Hermione impatiently. "Lumos!"

With the light from Hermione's wand leading the way, Harry, Ron and Hermione make there way towards the still mass. Faint blood splatters littered the sparse grass surrounding the figure. As they got closer, Ron points a shaking finger towards the now stirring shadow.

"G-gryffindor scarf."

"Oh my gosh," said Hermione in shock. "It's Neville!"

EDIT: hahaha, Kaitlyn and I were typing at the same time and she got hers up first so if this doesn't make sense, that is why. Personally, I think it could work.
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"Neville!" shouted Hermione even louder, thinking he had not heard her. "What are you doing here?"

Neville looked at them blindly, as if he had not realised he was no longer alone. His face was full of blood and his Gryffindor scarf looked even redder now, under the light of the wand. The trio was staring at him, trying not to move, fearing that they might scare him away.

The minutes went by slowly and silence had covered the place. The trio was barely breathing and they stood there frozen, waiting anxiously for Neville's reaction.

Suddenly, a noise was heard of something falling hard on the ground. Harry and Hermione gave a scream but when they looked next to them, they realised it was just Ron who had dropped once more the pumpkin.

Hermione looked at him with an expression full of indignation.
"For goodness sakes Ron, throw that thing away!" she said forgetting that they were trying to be quiet.

Ron was ready to reply, when Harry asked them to shut up.
"He is trying to say something" he explained, pointing at Neville.

Indeed, Neville looked as if he was about to give a speech, but his anxiety made his words drown inside his chest. The trio was once more trying to keep quiet. Hermione however, screamed showing something next to Neville.

"What's that?" asked Harry, gasping for air.



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Sorry for any grammar etc mistakes! Please feel free to point them out!
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Harry lifted Nevilles arm up and muttered “Lumos.” Holding his wand above his friends broken arm.
“Oh for goodness sake Hermione” cried Harry, “you are such a girl sometimes.”
“It’s just a bit of bone sticking out, I had far worse after that complete pr…….”
“Harry!” shouted Hermione, stopping him from what she knew he was going to say.
“Harry, does have a point though,” said Ron, ”Lockhart was a complete pr…”
“Hmpf”, was the only sound to come from Hermione and then “ We really should get Neville up to the hospital wing straight away, Madam Pomfrey will sort him out in no time.”

Harry Hermione stood either side of Neville, supporting his weight. Hermione being far smaller than Neville found this to be a problem and turned to Ron.
“You know, you should be doing this.”
“But I have to carry this,” he said, indicating towards his pumpkin.
Hermione made a sound that sounding like ‘Tsk’ to Ron, but in fact was a rather unrepeatable swear word. Harry raised an eyebrow.
“And you can shut up, Harry Potter.” She snapped. And with that she started to half drag Neville pulling Harry along with them, back towards the misty light coming from the castle.
As they climbed the last few steps, they stood to rest for a moment in front of the heavy wooden doors. Harry looked back towards where they came from, and drew in his breath sharply.
“Wassup ‘arry?” Asked Ron, his face obscured by his cumbersome load.
“Nothing, nothing, it’s just….my imagination.”
Ron shrugged his shoulders and with a shove opened the huge doors and the foursome entered the warmth of the castle once more.
Outside, a dark shadow drifted across the ground and stopped in the place that Harry, Ron Hermione and Neville had been just moments before…….
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Hermione, groaning under the weight of Neville, steered them in the direction of the hospital wing.

"Where are you going, Hermione?" asked Harry looking around as if to make sure no one was watching.

Rather impatiently, Hermione replied,"Where do you think, Harry? The hospital wing. In case you haven't noticed, Neville has a BONE sticking out of his skin. Honestly!"

Turning back around to continue her struggling walk down the corridor, she was yanked to a halt. "Hermione, we can't take Neville to the hospital wing. Have you forgotten we were out of bounds? You're the smartest witch of the year. Can't you just heal him yourself?"

Hermione, holding back a smile, thought for a moment while examining Neville's wound. Neville, barely realizing what was going on, groaned in pain and fear...a mixture between getting caught and having Hermione perform the healing spell. "I'd rather not try. I wouldn't want to accidently remove Neville's arm altogether." A look of horror flashed across Neville's face as he tried to pull his injured arm away.

Suddenly, a loud thunk vibrated through the room. Hermione, Neville, and Harry jumped in fright. Looking around, they realized it was only Ron who had set the enormous pumpkin down on the floor to wipe the sweat from his forehead. "What? That thing is heavy. I'd like to see you hold it for ages while waiting on you two to make up your minds!"

"Well, Ronald, if you'd just get rid of it you wouldn't have to carry it," snapped Hermione.

Neville, unable to remain conscious anymore, completely passed out bearing all weight on Harry and Hermione. Nearly dropping him from the unexpected collapse, Hermione regained her footing and turned to Harry. Realizing defeat, Harry mumbled his agreement to head to the hospital wing. Turning in that direction, they headed back down the corridor. Ron quickly grabbed up his load and hobbled after them.

Unknown to the foursome, the doors to the castle quietly opened just after they had turned the corner. The dark shadow entered the castle along with the eerie mist and cool breeze.

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The frigid air burned Harry's nostril and instantly he stiffened. Only one thing could invoke fear in him like that. Dementors. Harry remember vividly the embarrassment he endured at the hands of the Dementors this past September on the Hogwarts express.

This was different though. As he lugged a lifeless Neville along the chilly corridor, Harry realized the tell-tale feeling of dread did not accompany the unusual coldness filling the castle. It was strange but the walls were accumulating frost and tiny icicles were forming upon the roof.

Harry yanked harder, willing Hermione to keep up with him. Gosh, Harry thought to himself, did Hermione have to drag her feet? As he turned back to give her a piece of his mind, what he saw made his heart plummet into his chest. About fifty paces back, Ron lay motionless upon the ground, his pumpkin shattered into tiny pieces near him. Hermione seemed unconscious and caught in Neville's robes. Harry was pulling both of them.

What in the name of Merlin's beard was going on here? Suddenly a freezing hand firmly gripped Harry's shoulder and spun him around.

Harry's first thought was Filch. He had indeed seen them go out of bounds. There was no other option, but no, he couldn't produce magic like this. Was it Voldemort? He could have never got into the castle while Dumbledore was here... No!

Professor Lupin pulled Harry really hard from his shoulder.

Harry blurted out, "Thanks goodness professor! I thought it was dementors coming to the castle!"

"Hurry! Move!", said professor Lupin. He grabbed Harry even harder and tried to pull him towards the Great Hall.

"But Neville, Hermione, Ron... the pumpkin! What about them?"

"We'll get them later, nothing will happen to them while they're fainted, I promise. It's just like a dream. Now follow me, we have to get professor Dumbledore, and quickly! This shouldn't have happened, at least not today", Lupin replied. He pulled Harry even harder and then he said, "Trust me, they'll be okay".

Harry followed Lupin into the Great Hall while trying not to look panicked. The students were enjoying their dessert.

They walked really fast and it seemed as Dumbledore understood something was up, because as they approched the teacher's table, he walked to meet them halway.

"Yes Remus?", Dumbledore said.

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"Headmaster, we have a crisis! Ron Weasley shattered one of the three Deathly Pumpkins, and I suspect Neville Longbottom has lost the one he was assigned, judging by the bone sticking out of his arm and the blood covering his face! What's more, I have a strong suspicion someone, perhaps Sirius Black, has entered the castle!"

Despite the many shocks Harry had experienced that night, what Lupin said topped it all. The Deathly Pumpkins? He had a sneaky suspicion Jo had fallen asleep and let someone else take over the story. He shuddered. Dumbledore interrupted what would probably have been a very fruitless train of thought, what with Jo asleep and all.

"Oh my, Remus! This is bad news indeed! Have the house elves been informed? What will the Halloween Feast be without pumpkin pasties? I'll have to change my password!"

"Not those pumpkins, Headmaster!" Remus replied, trying not to roll his eyes too much. "The Deathly Pumpkins! The mysterious trio of huge orange things that keep the castle safe from the Boogie Man at Halloween. We have one left - the one Draco Malfoy was given. Hopefully he's managed to make it to the Great Hall without being lured off course by some foul beast..."

"Oh. I see. Hmm," Dumbledore replied, looking confused.

“Oh no, not that old urban legend again, It’s just made up you know Remus. One of those fairy tales like Werewolves and……”

“But Headmaster, you do know why I go to the Shrieking Shack once a month?” said Remus.

“Shhh, you don’t want all of my secrets to come out just yet do you?” replied Dumbledore. “But I digress, surely the Deathly Pumpkins is an urban legend, in fact, let’s go find the Malfoy boy and put my theory to the test.”

With that Dumbledore turned quickly giving a flick of his hair leaving the others to follow in his wake.

They found Malfoy sitting in the Slytherin common room, with Pansy. On the floor beside him was a huge orange pumpkin and on the other a black dog was curled up at his feet.

Remus looked at the dog; everyone else looked at the pumpkin.

“Where did you get that pumpkin from Malfoy, me boy?” asked Dumbledore.

“This old thing professor, why I was made keeper of this sacred Deathly Pumpkin at the end of .

“Well really,” said Dumbledore,” What a fantastic story. And who told you this?”

“You did sir.” replied Malfoy.

“In that case it must be true.” said Dumbledore, clapping his hands delightedly.

“Sir, sir, what should we do now? The Boogie Man will get in if we’re not protected properly on Halloween.” squealed Ron.

“Well, if you listen, I will tell you.” said Dumbledore.

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"First, we need to put the Deathly Pumpkin in the center of the room," supplied Dumbledore with a blank expression on his face. Malfoy, seeming quite bored with the whole proceedings, picked up his heavy burden and moved it to the desired location. Ron, who had been reawakened along with Hermione as Dumbledore and company passed them from the Great Hall, placed the remains of his own pumpkin around Malfoy's perfectly intact one. This act caused Malfoy to sneer with delight.

"Now," continued Dumbledore, "we need to gather around the pumpkin in a circle." Everyone, looking quite confused, did as they were told. "Everyone needs to grab ahold of the hand of the person standing next to you."

Malfoy, who was standing next to Hermione, shouted in disgust. "I refuse to hold hands with a Mudblood!"

"Fine, Malfoy," stated Hermione. "If you would rather, you can stand over there in the corner and wait for the Halloween Boogie Man to get you."

Deciding to take his chances, Malfoy moved away from the circle and watched the events at a distant.

"Okay. Everyone now needs to sing Kumbaya, My Lord while swaying in place," stated Dumbledore.

"But sir," Ron interrupted, "I don't know the words to that song."

Hermione, with a sigh of impatience, replied, "It's easy, Ronald. All you have to do is sing Kumbaya, My Lord over and over." She rolled her eyes in irritation. Ron, with red rising in his cheeks, mumbled something that sounded like an "Oh".

Looking over the top of his half-moon spectacles at the two, Dumbledore cleared his throat and asked the company at large, "Are we ready then?"

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"Kumbaya, My Lord...Kumbaya, My Lord..." starting singing Dumbledore with his calm soft voice. His eyes were shut and his body was moving to the rhythm of the song.

Harry looked at him, wondering when Jo would take over again.
"What the...?" he thought when one by one started to sing along with their Headmaster. Even the dog seemed willing to sing. "Seriously, the Boogie Man?" he said out-loud, but Hermione stepped on him to make him shut up.

Malfoy was having the same thoughts, standing in his corner and looking at them with indignation. They had him carry around a stupid pumpkin, which didn't seem that tasty after all, and now they were singing a stupid song, praising some Kumbaya Lord.
"These people are nuts...Boogie man? Yeah, right!" he said laughing.

No one seemed to have heard him though. They were all so focused in their singing that they didn't realise the dark shadow that had entered the room. Even Harry was singing now, holding Hermione's hand tight.

The shadow came closer and closer and soon, the whole room was covered by it.

When Malfoy stopped laughing, he saw it. His smile turned instantly into an expression full of horror.He didn't know then that this was just the tip of the iceberg. This was only the Boogie Man's shadow.

He would find out very soon.




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Feeeeeeeedbaaaaaaack!

And thanks to Dorthy for pointing out that it is "tip of the iceberg" not "pick". Ok, i am off now!

Approaching footsteps echoed into the dark room. The assembled group still fervently chanting, "Kumbaya..." and holding hands, they failed to notice the figure looming in the mist getting ever closer.

"What is this ridiculous nonsense!" boomed Snape's voice out of the darkness. "Headmaster, I cannot believe you would subject yourself to time with these imbeciles!"

Snape glared wickedly at Harry, Ron and Hermione. Hands falling to their sides, they stole a glace at Professor Dumbledore, all eyes pleading for support.

"Ah, Professor Snape, so good of you to join us. Come here between Mr. Potter and Miss Granger. The more the merrier!" replied Dumbledore with obvious delight.

Snape glowered, his greasy hair hiding the angry flash in his black eyes, his body taut with tension.

Just then from the corner, Draco's little girl like scream filled the room.



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Everyone in the room turned around to see what had caused Malfoy's shriek.

His right hand was over his mouth and his left was trembling as he pointed to a huge figure dressed head to foot in green hair.

"It's the Boogie Man!!" Screeched Hermione.

The black dog that had been sitting in the room by the pumpkin suddenly got to his feet and attacked the huge figure. The dog bit into it's side and the giant let out a low moan.

"Wait!" Yelled Harry as he ran to the giant figure and threw the dog off the monster. He grabbed the thing's head and pulled.

"Hagrid!" said Ron as Harry and Hagrid both got to their feet. "You scared us all half to death! What were you doing??"

"I was comin' to show ya me Halloween costume." Said Hagrid. "What were ya'll singin' that song fer?"

Snape crossed in front of Hagrid and went to the door. "This is getting ridiculous and out of hand. I refuse to be part of this nonsense!!" He stalked out of the room and slammed the door.

Dumbledore looked at each person in the room. "Ooooohhh Severus! He's always moody this time of the year. We'll sort him out later. By the way, lovely costume Hagrid!"

"Thank yer, sir..." mumbled Hagrid.

"Dumbledore?" said Hermione.

"Hmmm?"

"There is one thing I don't understand, what exactly are the Deathly Pumpkins??"
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“Well, Miss Granger,” said Dumbledore, simply they are three sacred artefacts that long ago were bewitched…..”
“Sir, what’s wrong?” asked Hermione
“Haven’t you all noticed, while we were singing Kumbaya, we slipped through a worm hole in time. It is now 10 30 on Halloween night!” replied Dumbledore.
“What’s a worm hole in time Sir?” said Harry.
“What’s a worm hole? What are the Deathly Pumpkins?” Dumbledore looked at his pointy purple shoes, admiring the curl of his beard in their reflection.

“Sir?” said Harry.
“Oh stop asking me all these questions, I’m getting confused!” With that Dumbledore stomped out of the common room leaving the others staring after him.

Harry, totally perplexed by this unusual outburst again wondered when Jo was going to bring this story back to some sense of reality, but then noticed she was still snoozing in the corner. He then said to Hermione. “Hermione, have you got a copy of Hogwarts a History?”
“Yes, it’s tucked into my knickers; turn around while I get it.” She said fumbling with her under garments “Here it is!”
“Good said Harry, see if there’s anything about protecting the castle by pumpkin.”
Suddenly, Malfoy stood up,” I say Potter, did you see that, Hermione is wearing big knickers, I mean really big knickers.”
Luckily, Harry was more interested in something that had caught his eye outside the castle. From a small crack in the wall he saw a black shadow descend upon the huge wooden entrance doors.
“Quick Hermione, it must say something, I swear I have just seen that shadow of the Boogey Man trying to get into the castle.

“Here,” yelled Hermione,” The Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry is currently under the protection of the Three Deathly Pumpkins. Protection will cease when all three have been destroyed.”

“So, we still have some protection form this one.” Said Harry, pointing at the pumpkin by Malfoys feet.
Suddenly, in the blink of an eye, the big black dog transformed on the spot into a bedraggled, dirty haired and skinny man.
“Omigoditssiriusblackwatchoutharryhesgoingtokillyou.” said Ron, without pausing for breath or comma!
“You stupid boy,” screamed Sirius” you lot have been driving me nuts with your constant wittering about this and that. At last Harry has done something sensible, nice knickers by the way Granger, now, have you got the marauders map?”

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"I need a wand people! Have you not beeing paying attention through the whole series?", Sirius said. When he finally got a hold of one, he tapped the map and said,

"I strongly sugest, thy shall eat by"

The Marauders Map turned into a recipe for pumpkin pasties. It had full instructions on how to cook extremelly big pumpkins into pasties, including drawings.

"How did you do that?", Harry asked.

"What? The map?", asked Sirius.

"No! Transform into a dog and back to human!", replied Harry, filled with amazement.

"Aaah! Easy. The map's another story... Anyway, both are long. I'll tell you later... someday... Anyway, I've been a terrible godfather, I know, blah blah blah, I'm not planning to eat you because I would have done so when I was in dog shape if i wanted to, and later on I'll get you a nice present to get it over with and you will, I promise, now back to business... What was the question again?"

"About the map! Well, it's all in Hogwarts, a History, but you didn't let Miss Granger finish because you were too busy laughing at her knickers, which by the way are curiously big", said professor Lupin.

Hermione blushed.

"It says how to work the Marauders Map?", said Ron.

"No", said Sirius impatiently, "it says you should keep a pumpkin pasties recipe close to you just in case the Boogie Man shows up."

"So we should use the remains of the other pumpkin to bake the pasties and feed it to everyone in the castle! Because it also says you should keep at least one of the pumpkins safe to grant protection!", Hermione replied, coming out of her embarrasment.

"You're right Miss Granger! 50 points to Gryffindor for studying History of Magic! Which no other student does... You definetly are the most brilliant witch of your age!", shouted professor Binns from the corner.

"That sounded terribly familiar... I think I've heard that before... I think it was in a movie or so...", thought Sirius out loud.

"So all we need now is a huge cauldron, some 10 house elves and a reproduction potion to make enough pasties for the whole school", Harry said.

"So we need Snape after all", replied Ron, "too bad he stormed out of the room two chapters ago... What are we going to do now?"


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“I’ll go and get Snape,” replied a voice from the corner of the room.
“You stupid, ninny,” said Hermione haughtily, “You’re J K Rowling, you can’t be in the story!”
Jo promptly went back to sleep.

“I’ll go,” said Lupin, “I need to stock up chocolate anyway.” With that, Professor Lupin swooped out of the room.

Harry turned his attention to Ron, “Right Ron, we need that smashed pumpkin of yours.”

You can have the one I broke. But you’re not getting this one, uh huh, no way José, it’s mine,” replied Ron possessively holding his pumpkin as if it were a baby.

“You are very strange sometimes Ronald,” said Hermione, shaking her head.

Harry, seeing an argument brewing, quickly interrupted with, “Right, let’s get this old potion book of mine from Hermione’s purple handbag, and see what else we need to make these pasties while we’re waiting for Snape.”

Suddenly, Hermione screamed, “Sorry,” she said breathlessly,” I just thought I saw a dark shadow pass in front of the door.

Quickly Sirius went to investigate,” It’s ok,” he called back at them,” It’s just Crabb and Goyle, they were sneaking up the corridor looking for you Malfoy.”

Well, I think that’s my queue to leave this gathering,” said Malfoy, crouching to pick up his Deathly Pumpkin.

“Petrificus Totalus!……..Furnunculus!....Langlock! Curses hit Malfoy from all directions!

“Stop! Stop!” shouted Sirius, “Who’s the idiot that thought Lumos would have been any help here?”

“That was me,” a quiet dreamy voice floated from the back of the room. “I wanted to see if Malfoy’s head would glow like a jack ‘o’ lantern.”

“Luna, when did you get here?” asked Harry.

“I carried a water melon,” she said.

“Erm, Luna, I hate to tell you, but that was in Dirty Dancing,” said Ron.

Suddenly, ice cold air blasted through the room, which was thrown in to darkness as the candles blew out. The only light that remained was the faint glow coming from Malfoy’s head.

Lots of screams and yells followed, the room was filled with panic as people tried to run for the door.

“There’s something in here with us,” whimpered Ron loudly, “I can tell.”

“How?” asked Harry.
“Because it’s breathing down my neck!” cried a terrified Ron.

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Malfoy, being the only light in the room, was pushed towards Ron to investigate the source of breathing. At his approach, a loud snarl could be heard. Screaming in his high pitched girlie voice, Malfoy dropped to the ground to reveal a black, swirling cloak just behind Ron's figure.

"You summoned me to help out with a very important, difficult potion?" Snape asked from the shadows hidden behind Ron. "And will someone please put out Draco's head," snarled Snape with a look of disdain on his face.

Relief swept through the room, and candles were lit one by one. Luna, with a dreaming smile on her face, flicked her wand causing Malfoy's head to glow bright and then fade. The only remaining effect was the brightness of his eyes which Luna suggested was an invasion of Lunar Pixie Picklebies that are attracted to all things that glow. She further went on to explain their uses and that once Malfoy has been "glow free" for 24 hours, they will vacate his head. Whining could be heard coming from the floor where Malfoy remained.

From the corner of the room came a voice, "Oi! There's no such thing as Lunar Pixie Picklebies because I didn't include them in my book of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. Sheesh. Get on with the Halloween Collaboration. I can't sleep forever." Having said her peace, JK Rowling promptly went back to sleep.

After moments of shocked silence, Lupin spoke up. "Yes, Snape. We need your help. We have to make a huge batch of Pumpkin Pasties with this broken Deathly Pumpkin. You're our only hope."

"You called me down here for that? For Heaven's sake. I'm a Potion's Master, not a cook!" Looking quite disgusted, Snape went to leave the room. Suddenly, the Marauder's Map caught his eye. Seeing the recipe on the back, he looked menacingly at Harry.

"So, this is the recipe?" Snape questioned Harry.

Harry, biting his bottom lip, tried to ignore the over-whelming smell of hair products coming from Snape who must have just come from the shower. "Yes. What of it, Snape?"

Suddenly, a big black box appeared out of no where. "What's th-that?" Ron squealed.

"Ron, don't you know anything? It's a spoiler tag. Honestly. You just have to click and drag to see what it says." Hermione promptly got out her mouse and pointer to reveal the hidden message. "It says that all rights of the mention of hair products in reference to Snape are the soul property of Janet and Pepperimp through HP's Real World. That's strange. Who's Janet and Pepperimp, and what's HP's Real World?"

Flipping through his copy of the HP series, Ron shrugs his shoulders. "I don't know. There's no mention in here about hair products or spoiler tags." They all look at Snape who quickly tries to hide a look of fear in his eyes.

Trying to take control back of the situation, Harry repeats himself. "Anyway, back to the recipe. Yes. What of it, Snape?"


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But Professor Snape was stood stock still. He was staring at a point beyond Harry, out into the dark, misty grounds past Hagrids Hut.

“Snape!” shouted Harry, attempting to wake his potions master from his reverie.

“Erm, what? What were you saying?” replied Snape in a voice that Harry didn’t recognise.

“You were going to help us with this recipe on the back of the map.”

Snape shook his head, “Sorry, for a moment there I could have sworn that I saw Dumbledore dancing into the Forbidden Forest in a pink dress.”

The other gathered at the window to look.

“Careful.” said Sirus, “that is a known trick of the Boogie man. We must be wary of anything strange that we see tonight. We have to get these pasties ready so that we can stop it affecting anyone else.

“It’s a bit strange that you, a known escapee from the prison of Azkaban, who has turned up on this night of all nights, who can transform himself into a dog, knows so much about the effects of the Boogie man.” Chimed in Malfoy matter of factly.

“Shut your big fat gob Malfoy, your only brave because you have that pumpkin,” said Ron, pulling out his wand with one hand, while gripping onto his own pumpkin.
’ Maybe you’d like a few slugs to go with those boils you have ferret!”

“I’m not staying here to be insulted, I don’t believe in this garbage, Crabb, Goyle…come.” Malfoy abandoned the Deathly Pumpkin on the floor, and marched from the room with his cronies in tow.

“He’ll regret doing that,” said Sirius, shaking his head.

“Right, enough of Malfoy’s tantrums,” said Harry.

Suddenly the Deathly Pumpkin began to glow; it glowed more than Malfoy’s head after Luna’s spell. Everyone turned to look at it.

“OH, MY, GOODNESS!” exclaimed Snape, “Pass me the black box, stat.”

Snape reached inside the black box tossing aside hair products and spoiler tags dragging from the bottom a small bottle, filled with some unknown potion.

“What’s, in the bottle Sir?” asked Hermione.

“I can’t tell you, its top secret. It was sent to me by 007 when 003 died after M sent 006 to kill the cat,” replied Snape.

“Whose cat?” asked a voice from the corner?

“I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you,” said Snape, but it was too late, Jo was already snoring softly from the corner, dreaming of the day that she would go to America and reveal to the world that Dumbledore was gay.

Suddenly, a blood curdling scream came from somewhere near the girls bathroom three floors up. Crabb and Goyle came rushing back to the Slytherin common room.
Crabb who on a normal day, had trouble stringing two words together spoke first, panting for breath, “Malfoy, its Malfoy….he’s….dead!”


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"Crabbe, perhaps a little less time in the Kitchens stuffing muffins down your throat and a little more time around the track and you could breathe long enough to spit out whatever it is you are trying to say," said Snape cooly.

"Malfoy...he's..."

"Yes, yes, we heard that part," snapped Professor Snape with a roll of his eyes. "The question is did you actually see how it happened?"

"Ahem...actually," whispered Jo sleepily, " I didn't write Crabbe or Goyle for that matter, with the intent of ever letting them speak in my novel. Get it right people!" And with that final statement, Joe swallowed a large sleeping pill followed by a massive glass of water to ensure none of the silliness she overheard would wake her from slumber until morning.

Snapes' large obsidian eyes bulged in indignation at the creator of the Harry Potter Series. Just because the concept originated in her brain...oh well, best to let it go, he thought.

Turning back to Crabbe with every notion of getting his questions answered proved to be fruitless. Crabbe, in apparent punishment for crossing Jo and speaking without permission, was now making obscene donkey sounds.

"Well, I suppose it is up to you Weasley," said Snape in disgust.

"Wha...what do you mean 'up to me'," choked Ron fearfully.

"Seeing as you have the only known, fully in tact pumpkin on the premises, you will have to go out there and collect clues as to what has befallen Mr. Malfoy." Noticing Ron shaking in horror at the prospect made Snape smirk and continue. "I'm sure Miss Granger will be only too happy to hold your hand through the scary parts."

Suddenly Severus felt a pinch on his bum and the thoughts push into his mind, What do you know about hand holding?

***
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Ron gulped and started for the door. He was just a few paces away when a man with a notepad, a pen and silvery thing that looked like Colin Creevey's camera in miniature came rushing in. Everyone gasped, but Hermione had the presence of mind to recognise a Muggle reporter when she saw one.

"What..? How...? You can't come into the castle!" she cried and started frantically flicking through Hogwarts, A History.

"And I'm really, really sorry about that!" the man replied, and he looked it. "You can't know how sorry I am that I happened to be in the Hogwarts vicinity on Halloween night, trust me. The 'Don't Enter' sign would have worked really well, I promise, but I had a sudden choice between the Boogie Man and Hogwarts, and well... here I am." He gave a brave sort of smile, which faltered when he saw the looks on everyone's faces.

The room stared. The reporter fidgeted, then continued.

"Actually, I have a confession to make. I may have, er, killed your friend..." he muttered nervously.

"It was you?" Harry asked, being the only person besides Hermione to have got over the presence of a Muggle in Hogwarts at Halloween. "We heard him scream. Malfoy is a wizard. What did you do to him? Can I take lessons?"

"I, er, well. I didn't know it would have that effect, to be honest..." he began stuttering again.

"Spit it out, already!" shouted Harry, who was desperate for tips on killing wizards he didn't like. After all, he'd have to face Voldemort at some point in his life, and he could definitely do with some pointers.

"Look, I just asked him what he thought of Dumbledore being gay, OK? Didn't know he'd freak out and die on me!"

"Oh!" said Hermione, with dawning comprehension. "Yes, that can happen sometimes. Well, I'm sure he can still be saved, can't he? Professor Snape?"

Snape scowled. Not because he didn't want to save Malfoy, but he was just the sort of guy who liked to scowl before every sentence he uttered, and this time was no different. "Yes, he can be saved. We'll still need Weasley to get him, though."

"Actually, the boy is just lying outside the Great Hall. I dragged him here. By the way, what do you all thi-"

"NO!" bellowed Harry, Snape, Hermione and Lupin in unison. "Don't ask us that question," said Snape, "or we'll all die. See that heap in the corner there? That's the author, and when she wakes up to find all her characters have been killed because of you, you wouldn't want to be around. That's a promise. You lot have gone through the whole cast and put an end to the movie series by sending all the actors to the asylum with that question, so if I were you, I'd give it a rest." He stared menacingly at the reporter, who uttered something that resembled the noise a flobberworm would make if Hagrid sat on it.

"Right. I'll just help Ron drag Malfoy in here, then. Can I call you Ron?"



******

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"Do I have a choice?", said Ron, "It's not like you haven't read my name in all the books... But don't expect me to give you my number so easily, we're not that close yet."

"My name is Allecto-". That was all that the muggle was left to say, before Ron screamed in fear.

"Sirius! Sirius! Help! He's one of the future Death Eaters!!!"

Sirius quickly transformed into the huge black dog we all love and jumped over the muggle reporter, barking loudly at him, and bitting on his leg.

"No! No!", the muggle cried, "It's only the name, not the last name! I don't know them! Lots of people share names nowadays! It's a big world! Seriously, it's not the same last name! Please don't AK me! You're my favorite character!"

"Take him outside!", Snape bellowed, "one less muggle to deal with... If you were able to escape dementors as a dog, the Boogie Man won't scare you. Leave him at the gate, at least he has that option as to how to get off this nightmare." "I'm not a cook!", he hissed finally.

Ron made his way to the Great Hall to get Malfoy, wearing very pink ears and holding hands with Hermione. Both of them followed Crabbe, who had just started to hum Mary had a little lamb .

"I'm getting the feeling that I'll have to cure Malfoy in the future again", thought Snape while reading The Marauder's Map now turned into a recipe.

He was deep in thought when he felt something behind him, like small amounts of warm air, like breathing. He turned over in a jump and saw the black dog sniffing his leg.

"Black! Don't you dare leave your filthy urine on my leg!", Snape screamed.

"Ha ha!, Gotcha!". Sirius had transformed into human again and was laughing really hard. "Only as a dog I could get close enough to find out what was that very nice smell. I never thought it might be coming from you Snivellus. You don't happen to have some anti-flea shampoo in that smell, do you? Smells a little girly though, but nice enough to charm the ladies."

Snape was about to curse him, when he felt another pinch on his bum. He turned around quickly and muttered, "Stop it Jo! We'll talk about this later! We have some pasties to bake!"

He conjured a chef's hat out of his wand and called the house elves. "This will be no biggie", he finally stated.

****
The party continues!
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Elsewhere in the castle grounds, lay the body of Draco Malfoy. If anyone had passed by and looked at his face, they would have been certain that he had died of fright. Moments later the eerie mist appeared to rise and swirl as if taking the form of something more or less, human.

Inside the Slytherin common room, Hermione was nose deep in Snape potion book calling out ingredients. One or twice an animated eyebrow would appear above the page but quickly disappear when she thought she had been caught. Sirius was standing guard over the muggle reporter who claimed to be innocent even though he was called Alecto and Crabbe and Goyle were both eyeing him as though they knew him.

Harry was quietly pacing up and down; occasionally he would sneak a glance at the sleeping form in the corner. He thought that ideas were becoming a little desperate, and maybe if he woke her up, Jo would be able to give him some guidance on what to do next. Suddenly a voice inside his head spoke to him. Harry shook his head, “That didn’t sound like Voldemort.” He thought.

“Use the force Harry,”said the voice.
“Is that you Professor Dumbledore?” said Harry realising now, that he was talking out loud.

“Harry, wha…what is it?” said Ron, in that wimpy voice he always uses when he’s scared.

“Shhh! I think I am connecting with Dumbledore telepathically.”

“Use the force,” the voice repeated.

“What force?” asked Harry.

“Luke, I am your…….” The voice trailed away.

Harry listened carefully, trying to pick up on the voice again. Suddenly Sirius bit the muggle Alecto on the leg; he immediately dropped something that to Harry looked like a portable DVD player.

“I don’t believe it,” said Hermione, who was now so stressed out between looking over the top of the book and realising that the muggle was watching Star Wars, that both eyebrows were now bopping about uncontrollably.

“Help me!” she yelled. Harry, Ron, I can’t stop them; every time I speak a line they get a mind of their own.

The muggle Alecto, looked down at the man still holding on to his leg with clenched teeth, then gave out a maniacal laugh. “You trusting fools, don’t you know who I am?”

“Yes I do," said a hissing voice from the entrance, ‘and I think it’s time you left the being scary to the big boys.”

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Crabbe and Goyle stood at the doorway, both with smirks upon their faces.

'You fools! You always took us for granted just because Jo didn't intend to make us! shouted Crabbe.

'Now Alecto, bring me my light saber' said Goyle.

'NO! I refuse to take orders from a teenager! Not anymore!' said Alecto and with this last statement he pulls out light saber and gives it to Goyle.

'That's what I thought' said Goyle.

Suddenly Hermione's left eyebrow started bobbing up and down. Goyle annoyed with this sudden movement, pulled out a razor and tried to shave off Hermione's eyebrows but was stopped by Snape.

'Do you realize that if we shave off her eyebrows we're doomed? Miss Granger's intelligence comes from them and with out them she's as clumsy as Mr. Weasley' Snape said warningly to Goyle.

Ron, offended by this last comment, started throwing a fit and threw a tantrum on the floor. Harry went over and started slapping him whilst repeating 'Snap out of it!'.

'I will not tolerate any more insults!' whined Ron 'I've been your shadow through out the whole series Harry and you know it!' and with this Ron started weeping and ran outside.

'Ron wait!' Hermione yelled after him but was cut off by Crabbe.

'Let him go, time will heal his wounds.' said Crabbe.

Everyone stared at him with a 'did you jus say that' face. Crabbe not knowing what to do admitted his dark secret.

'Ok ok I admit it! I watch chick flicks with Goyle when we have free time which is when we're not following Draco!' said Crabbe tears rolling down his cheeks. Goyle blushed furiously but didn't deny it.

"Err sorry to interrupt but I think you should carry on, my bum is starting to get numb' said Jo a bit annoyed and with that she went back to sleep.

'She's right' said Sirius now transformed back in human and holding an unconcious Alecto, everyone stared from Alecto to Sirius 'What?! I got a bit annoyed and knocked the muggle out, sorry'.

'Ok, let's proceed' said Snape.

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Suddenly, Snape yelped and swung around. "Who in blazes keeps pinching my bum?"

A chuckle is heard coming from just behind Snape. From thin air, Dumbledore emerged wearing the pink dress from which Snape had seen him dancing in earlier. "Having the gift of being invisible without a cloak has its advantages." Dumbledore chuckled again. "My apologies, Severus. The first time was an accident, but your reaction was quite humorous so I felt the need to repeat it a couple of more time. I hope you will forgive an old man's strange sense of humor." Looking around, Dumbledore realized the look of wonder and something on the verge of horror coming from each of the others' faces. "What? Are my eyebrows jumping sporadically or something?"

"Sir," replied Hermione, "you are wearing a...a pink dress."

Dumbledore's smile widened. "Well, it is Halloween, isn't it? Do you not like my costume? I picked it up at a muggle store. I thought the pink might bring out the blue in my eyes."

"Erm... Sure professor. You look quite...enchanting," stated Hermione with a perplexed look on her face.

"Excellent! Now, I understand we have had some new situations arise. Sirius, you take Crabbe, Goyle, and Alecto to the Great Hall. Severus, you will finish the potion while Hermione, Harry, and Ron keep watch. I will attend to Draco. We will meet back here in say, half and hour? That should be a sufficient amount of time to make the Deathly Pumpkin pasties. Any questions?" Dumbledore asked the room at large. After a few shakes of the heads and followed silence, Dumbledore turned and left with Sirius and company following behind.

After several minutes of silence with the only sound being Snape working on the potion, a strange humming began. After five long minutes, Snape bellowed at Ron. "Will you stop that infernal humming! It's a pumpkin for peets sake!" Ron, looking rather embarrased, stopping his humming but continued to stroke the last remaining Deathly Pumpkin.

Finally, after another 20 minutes, Snape stood back from his station. Before him were a multitude of perfect pumpkin pasties. "There, they are finished." Just then, Dumbledore and Sirius walked back in the room.

"Ah. Excellent, Severus! Now, who would like to be the first to try one?"


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"I will" said Gellert Grindelwald. There was a thick silence through out the room. Dumbledore sighed in a dreamy way. His pink dress matched the colour of his face.

"Y-your Grindelwald!" squeaked Ron. Severus throw a vile at his head and scowled, "What? He is!"

"You don't miss a thing do you Ronald" Hermione rolled her eyes. Dumbledore stepped forward and stared at Grindelwald.

"I told you to wait in my office Gellert" Dumbledore muttered in an undertone.

"I was waiting but I saw that the boogie man was bringing reenforcements" Gellert said putting his hand on Dumbledore's shoulder, "Albus he's coming with the blob"

Dumbledore shrieked in a girlie manner. Severus scowled in the way he always did when he thought Dumbledore was acting too gay.

"If you don't hurry, the Boogie man and the Blob will become one" Lupin said coming in wearing a plastic werewolf mask. Everyone stared him, "What? I couldn't think of a better costume for Halloween"

Suddenly the heard the screech of violins. Everyone began to dance Mambo.

"What's happening? Why can't we stop?" Hermione said as she danced away.

"I thought you were brighter than that silly girl" said a cold voice from the corner of the room...
°°°°°°

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There stood the boogie man with Freddy Kooger. The boogie man was holding a huge stereo system with Barry Manilow's 'Copa Cabana'.

'This song is enchanting isn't it?' said the boogie man said to Freddy Kooger.

Freddy Kooger simply nodded. Apparantely he was unable to speak. Then quite suddenly the song on the stereo system changed to 'The Macarena' and they all got in line and started dancing.

'Well boogie man I have to admit that your musical taste is quite good' said Dumbledore as 'The Macarena' finished and 'YMCA' from The Village People started to play.

'Thank you Albus dear say that's a very nice dress' said the boogie man. Freddy Kooger and Grindelwald both glared at Dumbledore. Dumbledore simply blushed furiously and continued to dance.

Meanwhile Harry was looking at Snape quite intensly, Snape noticed Harry wanted to say something so he did Legilamency and read what Harry was trying to comunicate to him.

'Snape', thought Harry, 'SNAPE! Yes it's me Harry you twirp who else could it be! You must destroy the stereo system, you're close just turn it off or destroy it!' thought Harry.

So with this Snape pulled out his wand and pointed at the stereo system whilst dancing 'YMCA', then he shouted 'SECTUMSEMPRA!' and the stereo system was slashed but it didn't break.

'What?!' said Snape loudly 'I don't understand? Why didn't it work?!'

'Sir, I think the stereo system is a Horcrux' said Hermione.

Then Ron suddenly said to Harry and Hermione 'What a coincidence... I happen to have a Basilisk fang with me'. So Ron gave the fang to Snape and he made it hover and shoot at the stereo system.

The boogie man not noticing this let out a howl of pain. But it wasn't caused by Snape destroying the Horcrux...

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FEEDBACK

"Stop!" Shouted a multitude of disembodied voices. "What happened to the hissing voice and swirling human form of the mist, and who is Alecto really scenario, and on top of that, you have the wrong meaning for the Boogie Man, we all meant the strange, zombie like creature that hides in the back of dark cupboards or under your bed, not some YMCA dancing nincompoop?"

Everyone stood still, wondering who was speaking.

"I wonder who said that," asked Harry.

"It's us," replied the voices,'the authors of the Great Hall Halloween Collaboration Fic."

"In that case," said Harry, 'can you tell us where we go from here, and what to do with all these pumpkin pasties?"

"Certainly, just follow our lead," said the voice. "Where were we?"

Recap: Strange hissing voiced man at entrance to the common room. Dumbledore wears pink, no waccompanied by Grindelwald. Freddie Krueger has made a rather bizarre appearence, and we have muggle electrical equipment working inside the the walls of Hogwarts, oh and Snape has finished cooking the pasties.

"Right then," said the voices, " we are ready to continue?"

A loud crack was heard over all the din. Dobby and Kreacher appeared in front of Snape, with two large silver platters.

"Good....load the pasties on to these trays, and proceed to the Great Hall, make sure everyone eats a piece, tell them that the consequences of refusal will be......disasterous!"

Just then, Harry noticed the strange misty like form making hissing noises in the doorway.
"Professor Dumbledore, Professor Snape, Mr Grindelwald, who or what is that in the doorway speaking parseltongue and saying Alecto is the Boogie Man?"

" Dumbledore pushed in front of Harry and bellowed," YOU SHALL NOT PASS."

But all too late Harry realised that the misty form was taking on the solid shape of Lord Voldemort.

"It can't be you," said Harry, 'I killed you."

"That's not until the end of book seven, anyway this being an embarrassing travesty of a fan fic, I can come back if I like." answered Voldemort huffily.

"OH, alright then, if you're so clever tell us who he really is." said Harry, pointing in the direction of the muggl;e man called Alecto who said they were all fools.

"That," replied Voldemort, 'is....the Boogie Man."

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"Really? He doesn't look like the Boogie man" Ron said staring at Alecto. He prodded him slightly to make sure.

"Weasley you twit, shut up! Don't interrupt the Dark Lord when he's discovering the evil plot of the story" Snape said scowling.

"Like I was saying before I was rudely interrupted. Kids now a days have no manners what so ever" Voldemort said sighing heavily, "Oh yes, Alecto is really the Boogie man"

"Don't listen to him! Remember he's the bad guy of the entire series!" Alecto yelled glaring at Voldemort.

"He's got a point there Voldemort. You've been kind of a jerk the entire series, you know with the whole killing my parents and all" Harry said shrugging

"Not to mention plotting to kill me" Dumbledore piped in

"And having one of your faithful Death Eaters kill me" Sirius added

"And..."

"Alright, I get it! I haven't been the nicest guy but hey I'm not lying" Voldemort said indignant, "If you want to prove it there is an easy way... You must tickle his feet"

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"Tickle his feet?" asked Hermione, looking at Voldemort. "Are you sure?"

"Do you dare question me, you filthy Mudblood, you..."

"Hey!" stepped in Ron "That's my girl you're talking about!"
Everyone stared at him.
"What! He can come back and I can't be with Hermione? It's not fair! This fanfic is horrible! You destroy my pumpkin, you take it away from me, and Hermione has huge knickers! I want to speak to the authors!"

"Oh, shut up, Ron!" Harry said. He had enough of this craziness . Their life was in danger and they were arguing on whether Alecto had over-sensitive feet or not.

"Can I have the pleasure of tickling his feet?" Dumbledore asked.

"Go ahead" Voldemort said with an evil expression covering already his eyes.

"What! Get your hands of me, you paranoid! I will not let a man wearing pink touch me!" Alecto screamed and backed off.

They all looked at him. This story was getting from crazy to nuts and all the way back. Someone should wake up Jo now, before more people get killed or worse...be laughed at.

"Alright. Someone has to tickle his feet! If he is the Boogie Man, it will all be explained. Except from the Freddie Krueger part, I guess. And from my having huge knickers. *rolling her eyes* Who will do it?" asked Hermione looking at everyone standing in the room.

"I will" Snape said, stepping forward.



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Snape stepped forward to tickle Alecto's feet, but Alecto backed off.

'I won't permit this, it's absurd!' yelled Alecto at Snape. Snape with a flick of his wand tied Alecto.

'Potter, Weasley, remove his shoes' said Snape calmly. Harry and Ron with a disgusted look on their faces, removed his shoes.

'Blimey, his feet smell horrid!' said Ron whilst covering his nose. They removed both shoes and to their suprise Alecto's feet were decaying.

'Don't dare touch them Severus or you'll regret it' threatend Alecto 'mark my words, you'll regret it.'

'Oh will I?' said Snape amused 'We'll see.'

Snape flicked his wand and two owl feathers were conjured and with another flick of his wand, the feathers began to move slowly towards Alecto moving from left to right.

Suddenly Freddie Krueger screamed and Voldemort cackled. Alecto's feet were being tickled...

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FEEDBACK...

Voldemort cackled madly at the sight of the feathers. Everyone looked at him curiously.

"I thought you were all smarter than to trust Voldemort. I think I made it very clear through out 7 books that Lord Voldemort is evil" Jo said waking up and shaking her head. She stretched and began to snore once more.

"She has a point you know, it was pretty stupid of you too trust me" Voldemort said as he continued to laugh.

"So we didn't have to tickle his feet? You lied to us? How could you!" Ron said as he began to sob.

"I was just yanking your wand. I wanted to see Snape tickle someone's feet" Voldemort said gasping for air, "Boy I hadn't laughed that hard since the time I caught Dumbledore and Slughorn snogging in a broom closet"

Everyone turned to look at Dumbledore. Grindelwald glared at him. Dumbledore smiled innocently

"What? You expected me to wait for you? You're the one who turned evil and I have needs you know!" Dumbledore said

"I don't think it's the moment to be listening to lovers quarrels " Snape said as he flicked his air over his shoulder

"Severus, what shampoo do you use? That smells delightful!" Voldemort said as he took a breath

"It isn't the moment to be talking about Snape's hair either" Harry said rolling his eyes.

"Can you please continue the story? I have other things to do you know" Jo said waking up again for a moment and falling back to sleep muttering something about Daniel Radcliffe's hair.

"Ok, it's time to reveal who the Boogie man really is" Voldemort said returning to his usual cold tone of voice, "he's standing in this room..."

°°°°
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Suddenly, a mist formed around the last remaining Deathly Pumpkin that was once in Draco's care. It rose several feet into the air and hovered as if suspended by invisible ropes. As the form started swirling around to take the shape of the Boogie Man, Hermione yelled, "Someone, do something! Now! Before the Boogie Man gets us."

Everyone looked around at each other with frightened looks on their faces trying to figure out what to do next. All of a sudden, Harry stepped forward and chanted, "Trick or treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat. If you don't, I won't be sad. I'll just make you wish you had!"

The mist began to spiral rapidly like a spinning top with the pumpkin in the middle. It swirled around the room causing Hermione's dress to flip up showing her enormously large knickers again. And then, out of the mist, Alan Rickman appeared holding a huge pumpkin filled with candy of every sort. "Hello everyone."

"But, that can't be!" cried Snape. "I'm you. I mean, you're me! What dark magic is this?"

"Settle down, Severus. I am you in the acting world, but I am me in my own world. We exist separately. These people called the Halloween Collaboration authors thought it would be funny to start this whole Deathly Pumpkin rumor. Jo, seeing what was going down, called me on her cell phone. Seeing as how she is the author, she can make muggle electronics work on the grounds of Hogwarts. It's her story, after all. Anyway, when someone finally figured out the secret, I would be able to appear bearing candy for everyone. Since the pasties are already cooked up, we won't have to worry about that. Thanks for your help in that area, Severus."

Snape, looking somewhat green, fainted on the spot. Hermione, however, had a dreamy, far-away look on her face as she stared at Alan Rickman, whose handsome good looks were much more noticable without all the greasy, unkempt hair.

Harry spoke up, "So, this is all just a silly fan fic? None of it's real?"

"Harry," began Alan Rickman, "just because it's a fan fic, doesn't mean it isn't real. So, shall we all go to the Great Hall and enjoy our Halloween feast?"

Hermione rushed forward to stand beside Alan Rickman. "Sure, Mr. Rickman, or may I call you Alan?" She flashed him a huge smile while her eyebrows fluttered to the point of taking flight. "Let's go join everyone else already enjoying the pumpkin pasties. You can sit with us at the Gryffindor table. But, what about Snape?"

"Oh, trust me. He'll be okay in a little while. Just let him be." Everyone piled out of the room laughing the whole way to join the festivities. It ended up being the best Halloween ever.


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