This is the feedback thread for my 'one-shot' about Scorpius. In here you should post your thoughts (good/bad) about it and discuss why or why not you think the story ought to continue.

Thanks a Bunch

~Veritaserum14

EDIT This fic is no longer a one-shot. The poll doesn't need to be voted in anymore. Thanks.

First to post This is an interesting story, it has got some potential and should definately be continued as the ending leaves the readers in suspense about what Scorpius' choice will be.
Great Job
Keep up the good work

JK Rowling does a good job on saying who married whom in the epiloge and if more help was needed to go to her website. What she doesn't mention, however is who the next generation marries, which is why it would make a really good story.

I guess you guys seem to be all the feedback that I will be getting

That is really dissapointing in a way; I can't go on with the fic until I know how you guys feel about it, to the two that have posted I thank you. (I guess the fic is so bad that it doesn't merit disscusion on the reader's part.)

~Veritaserum14

Just to let you all know: I don't want to sound mean, desperate, or unjust, but help me out here please, I'm a 'starving artist' and I'm 'hungry' for some feedback. I would really really like to know what you honestly think about the fic, you dont have to of course but it would help.

I too am a starving artist so I'll help another out.

Chapter 2 it is wonderful that you do it from both the veiw of Scorpius and Athena. It may not have been the best it could be, but that dosen't mean it's bad. I can relate it to my life which is a good thing. Today for example I saw him glanceing at me ALOT, but the only problem is that another girl is always around so I can't tell for sure he's looking at me, but Scorpius and Athena know that they are looking at each other.

Chapter 3 wow! I can't really describe it. I understand where Athena is coming from, but I don't know why Scorpuis just let her drift away.

Glad you like it so far and I agree as to Chapter 2 it was not all there, and as to Chapter 3, you'll be getting a surprise next update!

Hi! I thought to step by and leave some impressions

First of all I like the title of the sory. I think it's catchy so congrats! I also like her name: Athena
Scorpius really is Draco's son. Although he seams more friendly with others than his father. I hope he will not hide her anymore. True love always wins

Hello again! I just saw you posted a new chapter so I read it. Very good and very hooking. The end of the chapter, or the wording at least, sort of put me on edge to see what would happen next.

Hey all! Your feedback is much appreciated; thank you. Anywho here's a new question for you feedback providers (I suppose the poll isn't really much of a poll anymore so you don't have to make new votes). The question is: how do you think Draco will react when he finds out?
Thanks again for your great reviews!
~Veritaserum14

Well, I finally read the whole thing and here I am giving you some feedback! So, this story is very interesting. I really like how you created a whole new character for Scorpius to fall in love with instead of doing the more common Rose/Scorpius. And I love the name Athena. It's interesting that she likes studying and stuff like that as Athena is the Greek goddess of wisdom. I found it cool that you kind of incorporated that into the story.

Hmmm... well if it was the Draco in my story, he would be quite mad, but the Draco in your story seems a bit different. I think that he might be annoyed a bit at first but come to accept it.

This story is coming along good so far and I only hope that it continues to get better!

Smiles,
Emma

I'm ba-ack. Okay I'm am now caught up with your chapters (5 and 6). So here's the feedback. Extreme emotions come from a couple of fifth years. Did Draco tell Scorpuis about the Room of Requrment? If not then how did Scorpuis find out? I am curios as to what will happen next.

Well the next chapter has finally been posted (yay) and I have given it and all the other it took me a little while but I hope you like it. Keep posting your thoughts, they are much appreciated.

~Veritaserum14~

I have read the rest of this fic (finally) and I think it's pretty good

This is a very romantical story and I think it's going good so far, Chapter 7 was a little confusing though; but otherwise the rest of it is good. I didn't really understand where the fight was coming from (what's it's basis?). Anyhow, I believe that you're doing a good job and should post more soon. Can't wait to see how this will end up.

So, I liked the two most recent chapters. I think it was a good idea to make Athena and Scorpius have a fight because perfect relationships annoy me and they don't seem realistic. Yeah, so by doing that you made it seem more real. I wonder what's going to happen between them. Hmm... somehow I doubt that they'll really break up. I have a good feeling that they'll get back together, but I never know. Maybe you have something quite unpredictable up your sleeve.

Just one little thing: In the beginning of chapter 8, you had a lot of dialouge, but you didn't write who was talking. I got a little confused at that part, but was able to figure it out.

Update soon! You know I'll be reading it.

Smiles,
Emma

Well thanks Emma! I have now added more to chapter 9 (so consider that an update). Once again thanks to all of you for your great 'awesometastical' and helpful feedback. I hope you like the most recent chapter (which has been edited by the way).

~Veritaserum14~

Haha! New chappie. I feel bad for Scorps. He just seems so... sad. Can I give him a hug? Please? I feel bad for Athena too. She was about to kiss him and he wouldn't let her. Oh, Scorpius... *shakes finger* I hope that they get back together soon and that they both come to their senses. Update soon and good job!

Smiles,
Emma-roni

Thanks for the great review emma. I am so glad you like my fic. Anywho--about Scorpius and Athena...Yea those two are tough characters, I don't know who will break first though; I don't want to stereotype and make Athena do it, but then, I also don't want Scorpius to look like a loser. I don't know she does miss him a lot but then who knows right?

~Veritaserum14~

Awww, how delightfully romantic, sappy, cheesy and cute all at the same time! Athena and Scorps are quite cute together, although, like Scorpius I can't exactly remember why they were fighting in the first place. But, they're back together which is all that matters. Hehe. It was very nice. You used the wrong there/their/they're at one point, but I don't remember where. And I don't remember which one. Other than that, you're spelling was quite lovely.

So, basically I enjoyed this chappie. I like your style of writing and even though it was kind of cheesy at the end, it was awesome. Cheesyness is fun. Lol. Good job.

Smiles,
Emma

Well, glad that you enjoyed the chapter, even if you did think that the end of it was cheesy. To say the least I quite agree with you. As to the spelling, worry not. When I get closer to finishing a fic, I go through and correct all the syntax. Once again thank you very much.

Peace

~Veritaserum14~

HI! It's been a while since I've last posted. I managed to keep up with the reading.

Yey! They're back together. It seams that being Muggle born isn't that important after all now that years have passed since Voldemort's era. Draco finally grew up and realised there's more to life than pure blood and discrimination.

I liked the fact that they had a secret meeting and most of all that Scorpius went to search for Athena. I think he's a smart boy too. he knew right away the answer to the question.

There's something I've noticed about your characters. They think proper for their gender. Athena, as a girl analises the situation from many angles and talks about it a lot. Scorpius, as a boy feels the most common things and jumps to conclusions. Maby I didn't explain myself righ. It's an impression that your characters give me which I think it's fantastic about them.

Uhm.. let me see what else can I say Oh yes! The complicated relationship seams fit for Scorpius, and his decision to overcome the complications is even more suited for his character.

Well done!

Wow! Thanks for that awesome review. I'm glad that you like it.

Well, I try to make them as realistic as possible. I'm quite proud of myself after reading this part of your review. I'm still thinking of ideas for the next chapter: OWLS will also be coming up soon. So anyway, glad you like it. And once again thank you for taking the time to leave feedback.

Peace

~Veritaserum14~

Hehe, I liked the new chapter. Very interesting. And Scorpius is quite the hottie, eh? Athena and Scorpius's study dates were cute. They are an adorable little couple and I'm actually glad that they sometimes fight because otherwise it would annoy me. I'm a weirdo.



Lol. Something about this was funny. I laughed. This may be because I am amused by small things.

Anyways, nice job and I hope that Scorps and Athena don't get into another huge fight. Update soon!

Smiles,
Emma

Thanks for the awesometastical, to use your word, feedback. Glad you like it, I can't believe I have only got 4 or 5 more chapters left to write. Wow! time really does go by quickly. Anywhos, thanks for the PM and let me know when you update (A Different Kind of Malfoy or Lord Voldy's Secret Files)

Peace ,
Veritaserum14

I read this when you posted but forgot to leave feedback! Naughty me.

The Slytherins are so mean to poor Athena. Poor girly. Scorpius was quite protective, though. Yelling at all those dudes to shut up. Your Scorpius is quite different from the one in my story. But, he's cool. Yurrrp.

So, overall, it was a good chapter, but a little short. Update soon! And, also, I can't wait to read that humor fic that you told me about.

Actually they were girls and yeah I guess the two are very different. I thank you kindly for the feedback. And just as you can't wait to read it, I can't wait to post. My sister doesn't think it is too funny, but I'm hoping to get a second opinion soon. Yeah it was a pretty short chapter. I can't believe its almost done!

Peace
Veritaserum14

Yeah, I know that they were girls, but I have this weird habit of calling everyone "dude". I'm just strange like that. Maybe your sister just didn't want you to know that it was the funniest thing she had ever read! Haha, I can't wait to read it.

Post again soooon!

Haha. I might have known, I sometimes do that myself, although sometimes I use the word dudettes instead if they're girls. Anyway, the last chapter has now been posted and I will now try to get my newest development underway. Thanks for the feedback, everybody, keep the comments coming!

~Veritaserum14