Everyone has heard about it. "Men come from Mars, Women come from Venus". Men are insensitive creatures with a mania on football and mess, women are emotional psychotics who can't drive a car properly. Or so they say.

For many centuries, the two sexes have been dealt with in a very different way. Women were considered inferior to men, whereas men were the ones responsible for making sure that the world would keep going around. Stereotypes of this kind are visible in other parts of our life as well, such as religion and politics.

The argument however is not one-sided. Men may bring the money in the family, but women are the ones to make sure everything works out well. Women have motherly instincts. They are made to have a family. But, how true is this nowadays?

This is a thread where you can talk about the two sexes, their place in the modern world, as compared to the past, demonstrate personal experiences, and decide whether stereotypes still hold on tight to the way we think.

I have to remind to all of you to be polite and respect everyone else's views. You should by no means attack to another member. The goal is to have a friendly and interesting discussion where everyone can share their ideas.

Now...discuss!

Oh wow. This is a really loaded topic. I'm almost afraid to respond, but I guess I'll give it a try.

Many years ago, women had feet half the size of what we have today, not to mention a smaller body size. This is probably where the old stereotype came from that men were stronger than woman. But I don't think it was because woman couldn't be strong, but that they weren't necessarily allowed to do men's work or anything along those lines to gain physical strength.

As time went by, woman gradually started doing more physical labor either by choice or necessity. As a result, the body was able to grow to meet the new demanding needs.

Today, there are women out there that are far stronger than the average male. Of course, women have to work harder for physical strength than a man does (our bodies are set-up a little differently), but it is possible. The stereotype of old that men are stronger than women just doesn't hold in today's society. Women have the potential to be just as strong, if not stronger, if they so desire. But for the majority, women don't see the need to do this because a man is still more than willing to be the strong one of the couple. As always, there are the exceptions, though.

As for decision making, typically men are better at spur-of-the-moment decisions while women are better at long-term decisions. Men can see the immediate result, but women tend to think things through to the long term. Because of this, some businesses out there prefer to have a woman in management because they want someone with long-term goals in mind. (For this paragraph, I'm sorry I can't give sources for info, which was part of some statistical research data. I read it in a business article a few years ago.)

Concerning parental instincts, it really is easier for a woman to have maternal instincts than the male. As the child-bearers, we have nine months to grow an emotional attachment to the baby before it ever even comes into this world. A man just can't compete with that so it takes a little longer for them to make that strong bond. But once the child is here, and both bonds are formed, I think a man can assume the more dominant nurturing role if given the opportunity and it is what they want. It's not that men can't do it. Usually, they just don't want to. But there are men out there today that are the stay-at-home dads while the woman is off being the bread winner. Actually, it's becoming more and more common. Do I think that there will ever come a time when there are more men at home than women? No, but I think men and women will share equally the responsibilities of both. At least, more so than what they are now.

Well, guess I better hush up for now and let someone else have a say. Hee hee.

It's cool, Laura, you made a really good start! This topic has so many nuances, we could discuss different aspects of it ad infinitum!

That dude who made all that money from those 'Men are from Mars' books is really annoying! I remember seeing him on "Oprah" once, and all of these women were standing up and talking about probems they had with their men, asking for advice, and he was all like" Well, you have to do this, and you have to do that..." Which is kinda typical of men, as it's usually women that do most of the work in a relationship. He had no advice for their husbands...

What's weird is that, even though I come off as a liberal, tree-hugging new-age hippie sort, I have no problem with the traditional idea of marriage and family, in which the man is the bread winner and the woman, the homemaker. I think it can be a very rewarding way to live, especially for the children. But both partners have to be dedicated for it to work. If a woman wants to stay home and raise the kids, it's still work! You have to cook, and clean, and nurture. You can't sit around watching soap operas all day. If you're the man, you have to be responsible with the money and not lord it over your wife and use your status as the bread winner to control her. It's not hard to slip into bad patterns in that!

I had trouble with it myself because I was controlled financially, so I never got to make an independent decision. Also, whenever things got tight financially, I was forced to go get a part-time job, then was berated for not being home! I mean, excuse me, but you can't have it both ways, mister! So it wasn't a good fit for us.

Like Laura said, typically men are physically stronger than women. And I do feel that women are very vulnerable during pregnancy and when their children are small. It's very hard for us to make it on our own, and we do need help! It doesn't always have to come from the father of the children, but it is very, very hard to make it on our own at that stage of our lives. Men never have to face that. Many just walk away from the responsibility, or avoid it in other ways. I had a husband who worked while I stayed home when our son was born. But he was at work 14 hours a day! When he came home, he didn't feel it was his job to 'babysit' his own son, as he put it. After three months I had to put my son on formula. I was so exhausted I could no longer produce enough milk to keep him fed. There was no reason for that except that I was vulnerable and needed some help, and had a baby who never slept more than an hour at a time those first three months! I can't even imagine what it must be like for a woman who is on her own, with no financial support! Ack!

So I think that relationships between men and women, regardless of how traditional or how modern they might be, need to be there for mutual help--not just one person taking all the advantage while the other person just uses. I've seen both men and women be users, and it's devastating to the overworked partner, it really is.

You make a good point about both partners needing to be dedicated to the work that they so chose to do for their family. Whether it's the bread-winner, the stay-at-home parent, or a mixture of both, both partners need to realize that what the other person does is just as important to the whole as what they do. Being a stay-at-home parent is every bit as much work as going to a 9 to 5 job. In some respects, it can be even more demanding because you can't punch a time card calling it quits for the day. The work is never ending, sometimes requiring you to pull all-nighters even when you've been on duty all day and will be again tomorrow.

There are a lot of men out there that don't realize what goes into running a home and family. It's a LOT of work! Of course, some TV programs don't help our cause any... like The Bundy's. You see the wife always sitting around eating bon-bons, watching TV, and demanding money from Al to go shopping or something. If only that was all there was to it!

There's this one program, though, that sends the wife away on vacation for a few days leaving the husband behind to take care of EVERYTHING. Quite the eye-opener experience for those men. Too bad we can't all put our men on those programs. But then, there are those men out there that don't need it because they understand better what it takes and appreciate their wives.

Anyway, what it comes down to is men and women need to communicate. We are two different "species" in that we think, respond, and act differently. Each side can't expect the other side to know what they are thinking or feeling. But of course, women tend to express themselves better than men, for the most part. Women do need to be a little more helpful and patient towards men in this area. But then again, men need to try a little harder. We can't be expected to do all the work.

Were you in my house Alkisti?

Seriously, in my experience men want to believe that they have a handle of the nuturing, house husband type roll, combined with their bread winner role, but the laws of the land still indicate otherwise. Equallity in wages is still a long way off even if companies/government say like for like jobs should pay equally regardless of gender. Apart from anything else, men like to feel they are still the strong powerful in change one. But, they also quite like the extra money the little Mrs bring in.

Although when both partners work, the running of the home and family life should be shared. It doesn't always happen that way. I work, only part-time, but it's still my job to do all the house work, laundry, cook etc (and when was the last time I saw 'him' with a pair of marigolds on scrubbing bleach down the loo?) He works full time granted, but often it's from home. He will do jobs for me and that irks me, why is he doing me a favour? When I ask can he go to the shop to buy milk or bread why do I say can you go to the shop for me, when the provisions are for the family. Why when I get the opportunity to go out with my girlfriend do I have to arrange for him to babysit? How can you babysit your own kids?

So, I still feel equality is still a long way off. Some men are more tuned in than others, but for the rest, and I don't blame them for this as I think it's a glitch in the gene pool here, new man is still a work in progress.

**ducks runs from new man lurking in the corner (I hate that phrase by the way...new man)**

Yes, Elaine, you would think that if both partners work, the housework would be divided equally. Sadly, that isn't always the case.

When I was married to my ex, we both worked full-time jobs. Sometimes, I even worked overtime which is something he never did. Yet, I was still expected to do all the housework and take care of the baby while he did the occasional yard work. He would even make me get up extra early in the morning to fix his lunch for work (he left before I did because he had a little further to drive, but I was always home last.) His reasoning for this was because his mom always made his dad's lunch and did ALL the housework and took care of the family. Well, maybe that's because she never worked a job outside of the home?

Yes, many men out there need to get with the times. Certainly wasn't hard for most of them to give up certain things like holding a door open for a woman.

Wow, thank you ladies! You're handling so well this topic! I wonder where our male members are. Maybe hiding in fear of supporting their gender? Alright, just kidding. I'd like though to read some male points as well.

Women, job, and family.
My mum is working as a teacher and my dad is working at a company. Because of my mum's job, she has a very nice schedule, working 8-1, and some days even 8-12. This has been very helpful for her to keep our house in a good state. However, even with this job, she'd never made it if her mother, my grandmother, didn't help her when me and my brother were babies. As soon as we grew up and went to school, she made sure she'd be our teacher and later, she sent us to private school to ensure the quality of our education. My dad on the other hand, has been working for many many hours. We wakes up at 5-5:30, leaves around six, and gets back at around 8. He eats, he relaxes and goes to sleep at 11. Thus, he has not time to help around. However, lately they go to our cottage, in the suburbs of Athens, and he's handling the garden on his own. It's good physical exercise for him.

I don't know what would happen if my dad didn't work for so many hours. The thing is that Greeks have this traditional belief that men are not made to do housework. I always fight with my brother when we are alone at home and we have to share chores. Sorry buddy, but I can't do it all on my own. You have to cook your own meal and clean up your mess. He keeps saying that men are not supposed to clean or whatever. He makes me so angry when he says that!

I don't know how my life will be if/when I get married. I hope that by that time guys will be a little more open-minded. My french teacher is married to someone who is great at cooking. She does the cleaning, he does the cooking. Notice though that he is a painter which means that he has no actual schedule.

Nowadays, because of how difficult things are financially, I think that both parents need to work. This means that they have to share responsibilities. A woman doesn't have six hands to handle everything. It's about time everyone realised that.

As for the other issue, the "I'm the one who brings the money" in cases where the wife doesn't work...I hope this will never happen to me. A women in my neighborhood was married to a guy, a doctor, and she was a stay-at-home mum. Her daughter is 17 now, but she never bothered to get a job. She'd rather sit and watch tv all day. She wouldn't even clean the house, she had hired a servant for this job. She is divorced now and I bet she finds it hard to adjust.

I have so much to say. But I guess I'll have to wait for everyone else to post!

Aha! A subject which I can never resist talking about. I will try to keep my post short as to not bore anyone.

First off I agree with all you ladies. I'm sure that being a working mom has got to be hard. I had a small taste of what life is when you are responsible for keeping a house and doing something else. I'm not married, I'm not a mom, but I'm the one who is responsible for cooking, cleaning, mending, etc. Normally I don't mind doing it if it keeps my mom off my back but last semester of school was very hard on me. I have 2 brothers, one older, one younger. My mom insists that it is my responsibility to clean the house because my younger brother studies and my older brother worked. So I had to find a way to manage my time so I could do my assignments and clean, cook and all that fun stuff. I learnt to cook and read at the same time. While I was cooking I'd be studying for my exams or while I washed dishes I'd be reading my assignments. I had to keep my grades up and still have time to do it all. I've been doing that since I was 12.

Why do I mention this, well because thanks to my experience with being a house wife at the age of 12, I now want to wait a very very long time before I get married. I also now have higher standards of what a man should be. The only way I survived all those years of cleaning and acting older than I was, was because I have an amazing dad who helped me out. He'd see that I was struggling with all my chores and even though he'd get home very tired from work, he'd help me out.

My mother has taught my 2 brothers that they have to find a good woman who knows how to cook and clean. I've always thought that it'd be better for them to learn to cook and clean but hey what do I know right? I can't really complain because at times my younger brother helps me out. He always says I've trained him to be a good husband in the future .

The city I live in is very sexist. Girls are taught that you have to get married by 18 or else you're going to be an old maid (mind I'm 20 I'm an old maid! yay!). For many girls marriage is the only thing they aspire to. Luckily there are still women who want more but women have to work 10 times harder than men to make the same amount of money. Most jobs here are for males and the jobs that are for females are a bit degrading to be honest. Men here treat women like objects. I can't count the amount of times that I've been walking down a street and a pack of disgusting men start yelling things that I know they would not say in front of their mothers. I respect all of you for being able to be moms and have a job. I hope that if one day I chose to get married (I dunno how likely that is) I can manage that.
In my opinion I think that Elaine is 100% right. We are a long long way away from having equality. Now do I believe that we will obtain it? I don't really think so. I mean I really hope we do but I don't think there will ever be true equality between the two genders. Maybe I say that because of where I live. *Shrugs* Here I am considered a feminist for wanting to study instead of getting married.

Ok I'm done ranting. Sorry! It's hard to stop once I get started.

-Stef

Despite the fact I was all for this topic, I find it difficult to narrow down a direction to post. So, I'm going to begin with equality, or rather the lack thereof!

Having spent nearly ten years in the US Navy, I have to say equality is a pipedream. Although I was tasked to do the very same thing as my male counterparts, at the same time I was given entirely different standards. Take the military physical fitness test for example: women are not held to the same standards as men. Period, end of story. We have more time to run, less pushups, less situps, and less expected. Why? Well, because we are the weaker sex, of course.

Now, I absolutely recognize that pound for pound men are stronger. It's just the way we have evolved. Are there men and women to whom this generalization does not apply? Yes! However, for the most part it fits perfectly. A man that weighs the same as I do (130) and is the same height as I am (5'9") is probably twice as strong as I am pound for pound. Frustrating to no end, but that is just the fact of life.

I do all the housework, although I am not working now I have worked most of my life, I do all the cooking, the laundry, the cleaning, and I am the yard person. My husband works and does my "honey-do" list. Ummm....oh, he eats, makes laundry, messes up the house, and forget to pick up his underwear and socks from the carpet. I love him anyway! It is important to note that he's a lousy cook unless I want macaroni and cheese, but he is always willing to do anything around the house I ask. I just have to ask, which I seldom do.

So, I suppose our inequality is my own fault in the homestead. Yet, he does not require me to do any of it, I just do.

Stef, the situation you describe (when it comes to how things work in your area) is how things used to be here 20-30 years ago. I'm so glad people are a little bit more open-minded nowadays. For goodness' sakes, I want to study, travel, find a job I really like, and then settle in and have a family! If a girl doesn't do all these things while she's still young, she might miss things and end up being 40 with grown-up kids and absolutely nothing to do. So, go girl! Study and become who you want to be! Don't let anyone tell you what you should do. Because they did it, it doesn't mean you should do so as well.

As for how the boys treat you at the streets...it happens here a lot but mostly by non-Greeks. I don't want to sound racist, but they are horrible. They make me feel horrible for being a girl. They are totally disgusting. Yack! The best thing to do is ignore them.

Dorthy, the problem as far as I am concerned, is not the fact that men are physically stronger. It saves us after all from doing the hard work. What annoys me is that they think they are more clever than us, just because most discoveries were made by men. Which is not a fair example since back when Newton talked about gravity, women stayed at home reading literature. Or raised the kids and took care of bringing (actual) food in the family.

Seems like there's a lot of estrogen in the room at the moment. Maybe we can fan some of it out of the way so that New Man can enter...and here I am!

Okay, not really. I mean, compared to my grandfather I'm definitely new man. For one thing, he has never changed a diaper in his life, and when I'm home I change the diapers more often than my wife does. In our house, if breakfast is going to be anything besides cold cereal, then it's going to be me that cooks it. My wife does cook most of the other meals, but that's largely because I come home right at dinner time. I usually bathe the children and read them bedtime stories. I sing our youngest to sleep at night.

I still have problems cleaning and doing laundary. Both are available to do if I would just take the reins, but I haven't yet. I handle the yard work, though. By in large, she still handles most of the household responsibilities. We have a good partnership. She handles the finances which means she can go shopping whenever she wants and I have to ask her if ever I make a purchase on my own that isn't gas.

Most of these things are very different than the relationship that my grandmother and grandfather had. And while this may seem like progress, there is one thing that's very different that is a huge step in the wrong direction. My grandfather may have been only responsible for providing for his wife and family and fixing things around the house and yardwork and such, but he doted on his wife way more than I or almost any of my male contemporaries have ever done. He set her on a pedestal and made her feel loved and special in a way that I can only dream of.

I mention these things together because I believe they are very connected. On the one hand, people strive for gender equality, but on the other hand people may not realize what the costs of equality really are.

Are men and women different? Can you make generalities about differences between men and women that are largely true? I know we're different in a measurable way. It's not just that men and women have been forced into different roles. Men haven't been forced into doing the heavy lifting and therefore they are physically stronger on average. Women haven't been forced to watch soap operas and are therefore more caring and emotional (sorry there are better examples, this is just the first that came to my mind so it will be very easy for you women to pin me to the wall for this--go easy on me though).

People have already expressed the sentiment that they don't believe that absolute equality between men and women will likely be achieved any time soon if ever. I would ask, is it even a reasonable goal to work towards? Men and women are different. There are things that the average woman is better at than the average man and vice versa. Shouldn't we take advantage of that? Is equality so important that we're willing to work for it at any cost?

You make some good points, Sam. And I hadn't thought about it before, but back in the days, men really did put their women up on a pedestal much more than they do today.

It all has to do with the changing of times, I guess. There's always going to be a downside to change, unfortunately. But change is also inevitable. We can't go back to the way things were from years ago. For the most part, a family in today's world can't make it on one income so the woman has to work, too, to make end meet. But since the woman is having to step up and take new roles, isn't it only fair that a man should do the same?

Back in the day, I think it was equal when men went out and made the money while women stayed home and took care of the family and house. Both partners had a job that was important to the family. And both partners prided themselves in what they did and took care of the other partner the best way they could.

But today, when woman are now going out into the workforce, thereby taking on another job/role on top of their household duties, isn't it only fair that the man should step in and help out with the household work? Theoretically, a woman then has two jobs so why should the man continue to only have one?

I think that's the main issue I have with equality. A lot of men out there expect the woman to work and take care of the home while they work and come home to be lazy. That's just not an equal sharing of the duties. In my mind, this is where men are no longer putting their woman up on a pedestal. If they did, they'd want to help take some burdens off of their wives.

Granted, there are some men out there that are sharing the roles with their wives. Just by you cooking (even if it is only breakfast), taking care of the kids in the evening, and changing diapers (wish you could have taught my husband a thing or two about that ), you are sharing responsibilities with your wife making things more equal in the household roles/responsibilities. If more men were like you, I think equality wouldn't seem so unattainable.

EDIT:
Oh, and something else I thought I'd add. Respect plays a large role in the issue of women and men. That's something else missing from today's society. There's too much "expecting" something of one gender out of the other. If we could respect each other more and appreciate each other for who we are and what we do, it would go a long way towards the whole pedestal thing (and maybe even the feeling of equality).

So I have a statement made by a governing body of a church directed at its membership. The statement was made in the 90s.

"Fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed."

In my mind, this goes along with the idea of equality as Laura seems to understand it, but I don't think it's exactly what everyone has in mind when they think of equality within parenthood and marriage, but please let me know what you think. If all people operated within this paradigm would that constitute equality? Or can equality only be achieved when men and women have identical roles?

Using my own relationship as my example, I have to admit that being married to a 20-year, retired, Navy man affords me the luxury of knowing he will do anything that needs to be done. Now, that does not equate to wanting to do it, but he will.

However, with the transition of our life into semi-retirement, and the absense of military influences in our life up here in North Idaho verses our previous life at Norfolk Naval Base, my man has reverted to the ease of knowing his house is clean, a meal will be ready for him when he gets home from work, and his daughter is taken care of ... all by me. Honestly, looking back over our step back into more traditional domestic roles, it sure didn't happen over night. We both took the steps to put us where we are at this point in our lives.

Relationship equality must be built upon the faith that each partner will do what is necessary, when it is necessary to be done. In my opinion, an equal relationship can only occur when each partner knows the other will step up (or step down) from one position to take another for the betterment of the whole. Outsiders might not look at our relationship now and see we work in that manner, but I know for a fact that we do.

Well, Sam, as far as I am concerned equality doesn't consist of having the same roles. Every person is different and certain roles are better for some people, whether men or women. Equality to me is above all respect (as Laura said). Respect between the couples and between individuals. Why can't a woman be respected as a professional at her job without people thinking that she managed to get this post for other reasons? Why can't people realise that women can work and have families at the same time if they have more flexible programs? It's very often that from the moment a woman has kids, she'll be more controlled and judged. If she makes a mistake, it'll count twice as someone else's mistake.

If men respected women (and vice versa), they'd be helpful to each other. Marriage is a commitment formed between by two people. They both agree to be next to each other, no matter what. Being there means helping out, taking over some duties, realising that the house doesn't get cleaned on its own and kids don't solve their exercises alone. It's not only a commitment: it's a cooperation.

I ran across this article and thought it would be fitting enough to discuss here in the Women Vs Men thread.

How do you think men's and women's health stack up against each other? Is it our chemical make-up or how we treat our bodies that make the difference? Or both?

If it relies heavily on our chemical make-up, then does that add to the idea that men are the stronger sex? What about the statistic that women have a longer life span, would that not make us strong in our own right?

What do you duelers think?

Men and women are different. There is no way around that. I don't think there is a better or stronger or smarter sex. Men and women are different and we're supposed to be different.

I think hormones play a large part in what affects our bodies. And it's not just the "women's hormones" either. A too high or too low testosterone count can wreak havoc on a guy. Hormone levels can affect depression and headaches in both men and women.

Perhaps women tend to live longer is because we DO research our illnesses and go to the doctor more than men. We readily admit that there is something wrong and do something about it, so perhaps our illnesses are caught and treated sooner than our male counterparts.

Of course where my husband and I are concerned... I'm the one nagging (yes, nagging) him to go to the doctor if something is wrong (and he will) but I put off going for one reason or another. However, when it comes to treating a symptom I will be the one to take care of that while my husband will let it go. A for instance: I have disc problems in my neck, so I go to physical therapy for it. My husband has excessive muscle tightness in his legs but won't do anything to help it. (Then again, I'm from Mars and he's from Venus so go figure!)

You won't see me saying women are better than men or vice versa. I believe we are made different and we complement each other. But don't get me in a battle of the sexes because I will fight to the death (as I am quite competitive)

Kathleen

I'm not seeking to change the conversation flow, I just ran across this article while looking for a new DP article. I thought this would be great fun here in the Women Vs Men thread, too. We can skip around right?

The article is wondering if it is harder to raise boys or girls! I found the article to be extremely interesting, although it must be noted I have one girl and no boys, so my experience with boys is limited. I did spend all day with both my daughter and my three nephews, though. It always amazes me the difference in behaviour, as well as attention I get from the boys verses my daughter: they really are different in how they react to everything. Is it because they are different sexes, or different homes, different experiences, the way they are raised? I don't know, but I sure notice boys and girls are not the same.

I, personally, seem to get more frustrated with the boys than I do my daughter, yet most of that must be attributed to me. I don't seem to anticipate what the boys will do, ask, want, need, say in the same manner as I do my daughter, which seems to find me playing catch-up with the boys, rather than being ahead of the game.

Interesting subject, Sirren. Almost everyone I talk to agrees that it is way different raising boys than it is raising girls. Funnily enough, though the article you posted is obviously slanted the other way, most people I've talked to have said that in the end girls are harder to raise. The most important thing, though, is that in general they are different.

The most common complaint I hear about boys is that they're high energy. They're fidgety, they don't sit still, they can't pay attention, they won't listen to you, and they keep going and going and going and going. My boys definitely have a lot of energy.

The complaint I hear about girls is that their emotional and sensitive. They pay more attention to how you feel about them. They get their feelings hurt. They hold a grudge. Everything is more dramatic for girls.

So pick your poison.

I love the following lines from Seinfeld:

Elaine: "Why do guys think wedgies are fun?"
George: "Well, what do girls do for fun?"
Elaine: "We just make fun of a girl behind her back until she develops an eating disorder."

When my wife and I first found out we were having our first boy she greeted the news with more than a little trepidation. She was one of three girls and had no brothers, so she felt she knew nothing about raising a little boy. My sister (who had two boys and two girls at that point and now has four boys and three girls) allayed her fears by telling her that her boys are lovers and that her then four-year-old boy had recently melted her heart when out of nowhere he looked at her and said, "Mom, I love you."

Since we now have two boys, my wife can't imagine having anything but boys. Seeing as I don't have personal experience raising both genders I know I'm not the best person to pass judgment on the issue. The one thing I know is that people have told me that you're never really a father until you have a daughter. I guess I'll have to wait, but I hope it's only a matter of time.

I want to comment on both issues. May I?

I've heard that women live longer than men. This is mostly attributed to nature. The fact that women have period and give birth is very cleansing for their organism (even though both things are annoying and hard) as they get rid of all toxins etc etc. What is more, women are probably meant to live longer because of the family issue. They are stronger so as to handle pressure and stand by their kids no matter what. Oh and of course, the fact that we actually care for our bodies is partly responsible for this.

Now, about the other issue.

I have no experience whatsoever on kids. I'm the youngest one so I've never had to deal with a younger sibling. And I don't have kids of my own yet, so I'll talk about everything I've heard from here and there.

Boys are frustrating. My mum has numerous stories to tell about my brother and the fact that he didn't give a single moment of peace, he'd explore everything, break a couple of things and so on. He was very energetic and so are most boys. They want to explore the world! Girls however, are more quiet, silent, they live in their own restricted universe. When I was little, my grandma would leave me at my crib alone for hours, and I would just play or talk by myself. However, when I grew up, I turned into this little Che Gevara. I was so loud and I would always scream if I lost my toys. I'm through this phase now, fortunately! But anyways, as it was said before, girls are more emotional. They hold a grudge whereas boys forget about it in a second. I guess this is the way men and women end up reacting as grown-ups as well. Maybe it has to do with the hormones. Who knows?

Sam, just goes to show that all kids are different, not because of their gender, but who they are. If you were to take the descriptions you gave for boys and girls and compared them to my daughter, she should be a boy, then. She is fidgety and full of energy. You can't make that girl sit still for more than 2 seconds. As for her emotions, they are normal in the sense that she isn't overly sensitive like most girls are. In fact, a lot of stuff goes right over her head. But I will say, when someone is outwardly mean to the point that it can't be ignored, she does get her feelings hurt pretty well.

And talk about not being able to pay attention! I can't tell you how many times I have to get my daughter to repeat things back to me to make sure she was listening. I have to repeat myself a good bit of the time because she couldn't repeat it back. Her mind is too busy moving on to other things. No, she's not ADD or ADHD. I've had her tested for that. She's just that way. Actually, I think she gets that from me because my mind is always going in hyperdrive. That's why it's always easier for me to type or write what I'm thinking-I have to force myself to slow down and concentrate. When I'm talking, things get jumbled up sometimes because of everything zooming through my head.

When my daughter was a baby, she was easy to deal with. She played quietly, was never overly rambunctious, seemed laid back and relaxed. It wasn't until she was about 4 or so when the spastic side came out.

My son, who is three right now, is ALL boy from the word go. He's always been high-strung and on the go. And talk about a dare-devil! Sheesh. My hopes are that when he reaches about 4, he'll move in the other direction like my daughter did and become laid back and relaxed. Of course, I better not hold my breath, but one can always hope.

As for when kids are teenagers, I hear boys are easier because they are cheaper (girls have make-up, dressy clothes, etc.), and they are less likely to be sneaky. That I find hard to believe. I think both are sneaky. The thing is, you expect it out of a boy but not so much from a girl.

This is something I learned from a father of three boys. It's in spoiler because it's a little more "suggestive", I guess, even though I'm making it cleaner than how he put it.

He said for that reason alone, boys are easier than girls to raise.

Sam, I hope you do get a girl. Just be prepared to be wrapped around her itty bitty finger, even more so than with your boys.

I'll throw in my 2cents. I have 2 boys and I think God knew what he was doing when he gave me boys instead of girls. For starters, if I had a girl that was anything like me when I was growing up, I'd never let her leave the house and/or install a GPS device in her neck (like what they have for pets) . (I was sneaky and pushed the limits). I was nervous when we had our first boy, but now I'm so thankful because stereotypically speaking, if he's like me then I can handle it better than if he were a girl (see Insomnia's spoiler for an explanation... sorry, I still can't remember real names).

We'd also be in the poor house if we had girls. I live vicariously through my best friend's daughter in buying the cute girly-girl things for her. My boys are clothes horses, but only because I get them way too many clothes (I do shop mainly at consignment sales, though) and they both have several pairs of shoes! If I had girls it would be so much worse.

I grew up with a sister, so in comparing what I've done with my boys so far and what I know from growing up a girl I think girls are harder than boys. We tend to be emotional and catty where boys are more down to earth. These are GENERALIZATIONS! I can give you several examples where my son is more like me than his dad. I'll let you know in 16 years if I still think boys are easier!

Kathleen

Well, seeing how I'm sixteen, I can't say I would know by raising kids, but I could say Women V Men because I have three siblings the ages five, three and one (Big age difference, I know!)

My sister ( Caitlyn) is five and one of my brothers (Peyton) is three, and they are my moms kids. My other brother (Coleman) is one, and he is my dad's son, and I can see a difference in how the act already. I somewhat believe it's the way in which they are raised, because my mom and my dad both have different ways in handling kids. (Both are good ways of parenting, you could say.) But my mom lets some of the little things slip a lot without scolding us, which my dad will get a little upset about.

Not to change the subject completly, but in society I think girls are sometimes steriotyped not to be as stronge as men. Example: Many people think Hilary Clinton couldn't handle being president, and thought they proved themself right when she droped out of the presidental race. I've sometimes been steriotyped not being as smart by an ex-boyfriend simply because I was a girl. Men (and some women, but I've noticed it more often in men) believe they are the stronger sex emotionally, and in some sence it's true, because we have hormones we sometimes cannot control (Like my step mother while pregant), but it still doesn't give my ex-boyfriend the right to say I'm less intelligent because I am a girl.

Sam

You called?


Depends on what you mean by 'strong'. I think if you looked at the distribution of weight that could be lifted by individuals, you would see a very observable difference between men and women. Sure, many of the women would be able to lift more than many of the men, but on the whole you would certainly see that men can lift more weight than women.

Life expectancy shows a clear difference between men and women as well--women live longer than men.

Now stronger emotionally? I'm not exactly sure what that means. Do I believe women cry more than men on average? Yes I do. Crying doesn't translate in my mind to emotional weakness, though. In fact, for emotional issues I trust women to be much more adept than men.

What I've been taught and have since observed is that men are much more oriented to problem solving when a person talks to them whereas women are much better suited for listening and empathizing. What this means is that men will often listen to what a person is saying just long enough to identify a problem and come up with a solution, whereas women are much more apt to try and understand what a person is feeling and why.

If the above is true, then if I have an emotional issue I think I'm much better off on average talking to a woman about it than a man.

There's an interesting article here talking about differences between men and women. The opening paragraph misrepresents what Lawrence Summers really said (he merely suggested that one of several avenues that could be explored when trying to explain differences in math scores was biological differences between men and women, but that wasn't the only one or even the first that he suggested), but the article discusses some interesting thoughts about boys and girls.

One of the best people I ever had to help me with emotional stuff was my brother. Out of 7 kids, me and him were closest in age so in a way we were like a seperate family unit to the other five. It's still like that now in a way. Perhaps the reason we could easily talk to each other was the fact that he had grown up in a house full of women, he was/is the only boy. But, although I could talk to him, when it came to big stuff...you know BIG stuff, I would go to my oldest sister. I always thought that she was a very wise person. She's certainly not the clverest of my siblings but if you ever met her you would understand what I mean. She seems to have an aura about her. It's not confidence or anything like that but she is a very calming person and I can tell her anything...and there's 21 years between us!

I think a most evident way in which women are cast aside and made inferior to men is the amount we are paid in our jobs.

I’m only sixteen myself, still in education. I don’t have a job so I don’t know this from experience.

I once watched a program on the television (a while back, can’t remember what it was called) and this women, working with the NHS, was earning less then the man who was in the same job.

And now I have found an article stating ‘It pays to be a man. No really, it does.’ If you wish to the article then it is HERE

It states a lot of figures which I see as evidence that women are paid less. But this article is about U.K figures.

I want to raise another topic concerning women vs men.

How are women drivers dealt with in your country? Do you believe the prejudices that exist as far as women drivers are concerned? Is it true that the female gender is not as good as the male one behind the wheel?

I'm asking this question cause lately I've seen so many men mocking women drivers. For example, when a woman is parking, there will always be a guy around there telling how to park the car. Or if a woman doesn't leave as soon as the light turns green, there will be honks and swearing, something that they would never do if a man was involved. Isn't this a stereotype men have? And honestly, isn't this annoying?

I found this article that states something most of us have heard of or experienced: According to a recent survey, it has been proved that women tend to choose husbands that resemble physically to their father. This action is called imprinting (no werewolves involved ). However, only women who had a good relationship with their fathers tend to make such a choice.

What do you think about that? Could it be that we unconsciously combine one's looks to a certain behavior? Or is it the familiarity towards a face we've known and loved for many years that leads us to this? If you are married, take a good look at your husband. Do you see any resemblance?

I read that article too but I have to say I can't find a affirmation for that theory in my environment.
I don't have a partner but my father doesn't look like his father-in-law nor does my mum look like my grandmother or my sister-in-law like my mother.
I really thought about every couple in my family and none of them resemble the mother or the father of their partner.
But I actually read a similar theory somewhere. It was about people marrying their siblings whom they never saw before actually and who find out later that they are related.
The studies said that we are actually so close to our siblings that we would choose them as our partners if there wasn't this morally blockade.
Call it nonsense or not but I thought this may be an explanation why some people are attracted to brothers or sisters they have never met in their lives and who don't know that they are related-

This is mostly a response to the driving issue- i don't actually have my license yet so I can't say anything for sure, but to me it seems like (for the most part) women are better drivers then men. Women seem be more cautious behind the wheel where as men seem to get overconfident.

I have read the article about women marrying someone with the same characteristics as their fathers, I don't really know where I stand. I look at the guys that I'm attracted to, and they don't seem anything like my father- and I believe that is a good thing. The man you're with and the man who raised you should have different, well established personalities. I would find it very odd to see strong similarities between those two people.

Women and men are definately different indeed. I have a son and a daughter. To be quite honest with you I would take 10 boys to raise to my one daughter. Girls are rougher to raise hands down. My son is a good student, does what he's told, doesn't rebel against me or anything (he's almost 16) my daughter on the other hand is nine going on 30, she's alot like I was growing up. Rebellious, defiant, doesn't listen and always does things she should not. I was always told when I was a teenager if I were ever to have a daughter I would get payback for the way I was towards my parents...Karma is definately true, I am reaping what I sewn as a teen through my daughter, I dread the teen years with her *sigh*

But women are still in a lot of jobs and careers thought of as inferior to men. I don't understand this at all. I'm in the military and there are alot of women in the ranks that are extremely high up on the Rank scale and they are very professional at their jobs. But women in higher positions just don't seem to get the respect that their male counterparts do, in the same job as well as the same rank structure. Hey we women go to combat, carry a weapon and lay our lives down on the line just like the men do, but we don't get near the praise and such that our males do...It's a shame really, women have come so far in the last century, but sometimes it seems as if we are still living in a Pioneer world of sorts...