Hello readers!

I'd just like to say a few words before I actually post the text
First: Thanks to Jessica for being a great Beta!
Second: This is first and foremost a fic written in pastime where I couldn’t concentrate on writing my other stuff (though it soon after the beginning took over the whole time). It has no introduction to each scene and goes right into the ‘action’. It has no purpose what so ever and is kind of silly at points (of course if you have the same kind of humour as I, it might be funny). It has all the silly moments and conversations I didn’t like to be in my other fics. There is a lot of ‘locker room talk’, or at least what I think of it as, and it has portrayed the boys in a way not many fics does. It’s not the usual romantic story and it’s not filled with pink hearts, love and men pouring out their hearts to the women they like/fancy. It’s filled with men’s questions about life, days of the week and the women they are so fascinated by, yet find so intimidating.
Third: I'm nok JKR. If I were, Fred would be alive and RAB wouldn't have been who he was. End of that discussion.
Fourth: The story is already finished, so look for updates often!

And here's a playlist if your interested:
I Fought the Law – cover by the Big Dirty Band.
Downtown Boys – Infernal
Popstar – Jon
Seize the Day – Avenged Sevenfold
Falling For You – Busted
SOS – Jonas Brothers
Dance Inside – The All-American Rejects
Plug In Baby – Muse

So with that said, I think we can get this story started.

*

Moony is a bad boy!
September 16th, morning.

“I don’t get her.”

Sirius looked up from his breakfast. “Don’t get what?” he asked as a piece of egg fell out of his mouth.

“Her,” James repeated.

Sirius looked in the direction James did, down the table. “Who? Evans? Aha.”

“What is it that you don’t get?” Remus asked and leaned slightly over the table.

“I don’t think she knows I exist,” James said thoughtfully.

Peter and Sirius laughed. “Prongs,” Sirius said, “I’m sure she knows that you exist.”

“You have that scar on your butt to prove it,” Peter said with a smirk.

“Shut up,” James muttered. “No, I just meant that I don’t think she knows that I’m actually. . .” He struggled to find words. “A man..."

At this his friends burst out laughing. Sirius grabbed the table so he wouldn’t topple over as Peter got tears in his eyes. Remus, on the other hand, only laughed shortly before he studied James. “You’re actually serious, aren’t you?”

“In fact,” Sirius began.

“Shut up, Padfoot,” James hissed. He turned back to Remus. “Yeah, I mean. . . I’m not sure she even considers me as a human who could actually be someone she’d like.”

Sirius and Peter started sniggering, but Remus looked thoughtful. “Maybe. . .” he muttered.

James looked at Remus. “Maybe what?”

“It’s something I’ve read of. . .” he trailed off. “But I’m not sure it’d work. . .”

“Let me hear,” James said.

“Yeah,” Peter smirked and exchanged glances with Sirius, “let us hear too, Moony.” They started sniggering again.

Remus scowled at them before looking at James. “It’s sort of a plan.”

James raised both eyebrows. “A plan?”

“Well, sort of.” He ignored Sirius’ and Peter’s more apparent laughs. “It’s called a 30 Points Plan. You make a list as you make mistakes. When you’ve reached point 30, the girl should be yours. But if you can’t make her like you in 30 points, you probably will not make it, and you've lost the girl.”
Sirius burst out loud laughing at that. Peter followed soon after seconds of trying not to. James snarled at them and turned once again to Remus. He looked quickly past him at Lily Evans and her friends, Alison and Sarah.

“Would it work?” asked James.

“I’m not sure,” Remus said low and blushed slightly. “I’ve never tried it.”

“Ha!” Sirius exclaimed. He and Peter had stopped laughing long enough to hear the continued plan. “He’s blushin’! Of course, he’s tried it! Did it work, Moony?”

Remus scowled. “I wouldn’t tell you!”

“Oh, come on,” James complained. “Help me a little here.”

He still scowled. “Let’s just say Evanna Maryland didn’t know what hit her before she was down on both knees, begging for me to come with her to Hogsmeade.”
“Ohh!” James and Peter exclaimed.

“Moony is a bad boy!” Sirius grinned.

“So, you think it’d work?” James asked thoughtfully.

He shrugged. “Maybe.”

“I say it’s worth a try, then.”

Sirius slowly let down his fork at the table. “Prongs mate! You can’t mean this!”

James nodded with his eyes on Lily. “Yeah, I think I can.”

“Come on! Even Wormtail’s not that stupid!”

“Hey!”

“Harsh, but true, Wormtail, harsh, but true.”

Sirius patted Peter on the back as he looked at James who was thinking. Remus bit his lower lip, also waiting for James’ answer. At last he sighed. “I’ll do it. But I need your help, Remus.”

Remus smiled. “Great. We’ll start out easy. Just be yourself. Every time you make a mistake, we’ll remember and write it down on a list. Okay?”

James nodded. “Sure. Hey, they’re leaving now! Let’s go!”

As the girls down the table got up, James shot up from his chair, too. He walked straight over to Lily Evans and put an arm around her shoulder. “What do you say Evans, You and me tonight for a little romantic walk in the starlight?”

Lily scowled. “Go to hell, Potter.” She violently brushed his arm off her shoulder.

James stopped and waited for the others to catch up with him. Remus stopped by his side, sighing.

“This is going to be a long list, mate.”

James nodded. “I know.”

“And we already have our first point.”

“Like what?”

~
1. Start out by not asking her out for once.
~

James sat down in Transfiguration, eyes on the back of Lily as she sat down in front of him. Remus sat down next to him and pulled out a parchment where he wrote their first point down under the headline ‘The 30 Points Plan to make Lily Evans go on a date with you.’

James eyed the point a little before he leaned forward. “Oi, Evans!”

She turned with an annoyed expression. “What now, Potter?” she whispered and sighed. “I don’t want to go out with you. Can’t you get it?”

He shook his head saying, “That’s not what I wanted to ask you.” He looked at her a few seconds, smiling carefully, “Did you have a nice weekend?”

“Err, what?” she asked, her voice not a whisper anymore. “Umm. . . I guess it was fine.”

“Sounds good. Did you write the essay in Charms?”

“Um, yeah.” She seemed dumbfounded. “I finished it just Saturday.”

“Is it hard?”

She shrugged. “Not really. Easy for you, I guess.”

He nodded, and she turned back. He studied her as she whispered something to Alison, and they both turned to listen to Professor McGonagall.

Remus gave him an approving look, “Doing great, Prongs.”

James raised an eyebrow and smiled, satisfied. Then Remus wrote down another point.

~
2. Be a gentleman. E.g. pull out her chair for her and so on.
~

Lily had barely gathered her books in her school bag before James was at her side. “Want me to take your bag?”

She eyed him suspiciously. “No thanks Potter. I can carry my own stuff, and back off. You’re too close.” Then she walked out of the class.

Alison gave James a look before she followed. He sighed as Remus stopped by his side.

“Aaaand, we have another point.”

~
3. Don’t be all over her every second.
~

Sirius crossed his arms, eyes on James as Lily stormed out of class. Peter stopped up next to him. “I think he’ll make it through,” Peter muttered.

Sirius removed his eyes from James to Peter. “Is that a bet?” he smirked at him.

“Five galleons?” Peter responded by raising an eyebrow.

“You’re on.” Sirius grabbed Peter’s hand.

Remus looked at them as James walked out of class, about to follow Lily to Defense Against the Dark Arts. “I think you’re underestimating him, Padfoot.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “I don’t think so. As if Prongs can keep in line long enough for Lily to actually like him for it. No way.”

“We can make a bet, too, if you want,” Remus smirked.

“Five galleons, too?”

“I’d say more, but I feel bad that Wormtail and I will take all your money.”

“Make it ten,” Sirius said with a snarl, eyeing Remus.

“Deal!” Remus grabbed Sirius’ hand.

With a smug smile, Sirius grabbed his bag and walked out. Remus and Peter followed seconds later. James already sat in Defense, waiting for them. His eyes were glazed over as he looked at Lily who sat a table one to the left and one up.

“One galleon that his mind is on Evans,” Sirius snickered.

Remus looked at Lily. He smiled, “Definitely Lily.”

At having sensed being the current topic, Lily turned. Her eyes first lingered on James, then Remus, Sirius, and Peter. At last they turned to James again. He didn’t look away. She scowled and turned away from him.

“Your turn, Padfoot,” Remus said with a sigh as he handed Sirius the still short list. Sirius sat down next to James.

~
4. Don’t look at her all the time.
~

“Fine, fine!” I won’t!”

*

September 18th, midday.

“Great.” James looked up as Remus stopped across from him at the table. “Great what?” He waved his wand, but he did not succeed at the charm they were practicing.

Remus smiled. “Now that we’ve written four points and used them through two days, it’s time for you to really use them to get on with the list. Now we can come up with some points before you actually make mistakes.”

Just then, Sirius set the table on fire, and they all jumped away with a yelp. Sirius laughed and made the fire vanish with a swish of his wand. The table was unharmed. James glared at Sirius. “What is there to use?” he asked and turned back to Remus. “They’re all ‘Don’ts.”

“Not the second one.”

He rolled his eyes. “So, how do I use them?”

“Do as they tell you to.”

“Which is everything I can’t do,” he muttered, “like ignoring her. I mean, who wants to be ignored? I’m pretty sure not even Eva-”

“Stop for a second, Prongs,” Remus cut him off and put a finger to his lips, thinking. “Of course! It’s exactly what she wants.”

“To be ignored?” questioned James.

“Idiot,” Sirius muttered. The others ignored him.

Remus rolled his eyes. “No, idiot. Attention. She really doesn't want it from you”

“Well, I’m sure it’ll help a lot if I ignore her.” He let the sarcasm drip.

Remus sighed. “How much of a brain is there in that head of yours? No, I meant that I’m sure she likes the attention you give her. What would she say if it suddenly wasn’t there?”

James shrugged. “No idea.”

Remus smiled, “And that’s our fifth point to the list. Padfoot?”

Sirius ducked down in his bag to find the list.

“What, you want me to be ignorant?”

“No, just. . .”

~
5. Don’t give her all your attention.
~

“This is so not going to work,” James muttered as he walked a long way behind Lily and Sarah after Charms.

“Sure it is,” Remus said and stuffed the book into James’ hands. “Just go and give it to her. No talking to Lily. Remember!”

James rolled his eyes and caught up with the two girls. Remus disappeared. “Hey!”

Both Lily and Sarah turned. Lily looked at James, annoyed. “What now, Potter?”

James looked between the girls, “Err. . .”

“Not now, Potter,” Lily said, annoyed. “I’ve got no time for you right now.”

“Um,” James said, looking shortly at Lily then at Sarah. “In fact, I just wanted to give this to you, Sarah.” He held out the book. “You left it in the classroom.” That was a lie. He and Remus had stolen it just so he would have an excuse to talk to Sarah instead of Lily. Sarah took it slowly.

“Um, thanks, James,” she said with a smile. “I hadn’t realized I’d left it.”

“You’re welcome,” he said, not even looking at Lily again. “So, I’ll see you at Quidditch practice tonight?”

She rolled her eyes. “I’m always there, James.”

“Just checking. Later.”

He waved at Sarah before walking off. Remus, Sirius, and Peter met him around another corner other than the one the girls turned.

“Lily was so confused!” Sirius said, excited.

“She’d no idea what was going on!” Peter grinned.

“You can do this, Prongs,” Remus ended it with a smug smile.


*

So! First chapter! Please leave feedback!

- Vicki

Hey again!
I was actually surprised so many people like this, but I’m glad you did! Though I must warn you, this chapter is really filled with locker room talk, and according to my beta, Jessica, some guys actually does this, the way they talk in the beginning. Oh well. I guess boys are such a big mystery to us as we are to them.

*

Boys will be boys…
September 23rd, early evening.

“It’s been seven days, Prongs,” Sirius said, sniffing in deeply. And then he spat as long as he could. “I think you’re doing pretty well.”

The others looked after the gob, and then James got up. “It’s strange, really. She hasn’t had a flip on me for three whole days,” he said and sniffed just as deeply. He spat but not as long as Sirius. “Your turn, Moony.”

Remus got up with a rather disgusted face. “Do I really have to?”
“Yes,” Sirius said as he rolled his eyes.

“Uh, uh! I’ve got one!” Peter exclaimed, and three pairs of eyes turned to him. “Mary Macdonald or Ellen Stone, but Macdonald has got Elisa Peddler’s face.”

“Ohh,” Sirius said with a deep frown. “That’s a tough one.”

“I’ll say Macdonald,” Remus said. He made a disgusted face, sniffed deeply, and spat.

James stretched his neck and looked at it. “That’s pathetic, Moony.”

Remus scowled at him. “Wormtail, you’re up.”

“Hmm. It must be Stone,” Sirius said and nodded. “She’s got nice grapes.”

“I still think ‘grapes’ is a stupid nickname,” James said, shaking his head. “And really, in the case of Stone, grapes kind of do not cover it up.”

Sirius laughed. “But she’s got two very nice ones.” He looked at Peter. “Come on now, Wormtail, get it over with.”

Peter sniffed and spat as long as he could. Sirius burst out laughing as Peter’s gob landed a few centimeters away from Remus’. James jumped down from the small cliff he was sitting on, and Peter sat next to Sirius, instead.

James cleared his throat. “Okay, here’s a new one. . .” His eyes were twinkling. “Kaley Wood or Susanne Sandler. BUT! They’re both bald.” He spat, the gob passing all of the previously spitted gobs.

Remus chuckled. “Wood. She’s got a nice arse.”

“Nice is an understatement. Great, I’d say!”

“What if her arse was switched with Snivellus’?”

Sirius pretended to get sick while Remus and Peter just looked slightly disturbed. Peter was the first to regain control.

“I think its Sandler,” he said.

“Nothing is worse than Snivellus,” Sirius agreed and faked a shudder.

“Okay, Sandler’s arse has been replaced by Dumbledore’s!”

Remus closed his eyes in horror. “Oh, dear sweet Merlin! My eyes are ruined!”

Peter fell into the grass, pretending to start crying. “Mother, mother! Help me!”

Sirius laughed. “That is mean, Prongs. I bet you’d like Sandler now!”

“Ew. No. I’m neutral. None!”

“You can’t say that!” Sirius argued. “The rules are always to decide!”

“I came up with this question! I don’t have to. You do.”

“I’m not choosing,” Remus stated firmly.

“You have to, Moony!” James persisted. “Sirius?”

Sirius sighed. “I guess it’d still be Sandler. Nothing’s really worse than Snivellus.”

“Wormtail?”

Peter shook his head. “But Sandler wouldn’t have a 100-year-old piece of arse on her. I’m Wood.”

James nodded and turned to Remus. “Moooony?” he asked with a slight pout.

Remus shook his head for about two minutes before he finally answered. “Wood. Wormtail’s right. Snivellus is still young.”

“But stinks,” Sirius muttered. They all laughed.

James’ head shot up at once. “Did you hear?”

They all looked at him. “No,” Sirius said indifferently. “What?”

James’ eyes got a faraway look. “Girls – three of them – coming this way.”

Remus looked towards the castle, and sure enough, three girls were walking down the grounds. “You, my dear friend, are talented.”

“I know,” James said with a nod. “So who’s next?”

“I’m up, I’m up,” Peter said, raising a hand. He jumped from the cliff, sniffed, and spat. It went long this time.

“Not bad, Wormtail,” James said with a nod and leaned against a small tree. “Not bad. Padfoot, you’re up.”

Sirius jumped up, and with a short run up, he sent a gob off. It went flying in the air, passing both his, Peter’s, and James’ previously long ones. The girls’ talk had stopped, but the boys didn’t notice. James shook his head.

“I’m so not losing this one.” With a really deep sniff and a lot of air in his lungs, James spat with all the force he could. It landed nearly half a meter past Sirius’ last one.

Then a girl’s voice was heard. “Eww.”

All four boys turned to look. Lily, Alison, and Sarah were all looking at them. Alison was rather green in the face. Sarah looked mildly repelled. Lily looked utterly disgusted. Alison had been the one speaking. After a few seconds of staring at each other, the girls suddenly turned and walked away towards the castle.
With a chuckle, Sirius stood at James’ side. “I guess that’s one more point to your list, Prongs.”

~
6. Spitting, farting, or burping in front of her is banned.
~

James took a hand to his head, groaning, “No, no, no. She must think I’m some sort of disgusting person now.”

Peter moved. “To be honest, I think she already kind o-”

Remus elbowed him before he could finish. “No, Prongs, you’re just a guy.”

“A disgusting guy,” he said. “Oh well, they’re gone now. Who’s next?”

With a laugh, Peter sniffed and spat. Then Sirius got up, eyes on the back of the girls. “Okay, one not too horrible. Abby or Olivia?”

Remus shook his head. “That’s unfair.”

“Yeah,” Peter said with a nod. “They’re both really, really. . .”

“Hot,” Remus ended firmly.

Sirius held up his hands weighing first the right hand and then the left. “Super beautiful blonde with those amazing blue eyes and very, very nice body – trust me, I’ve been there – or the mysterious black girl with eyes dark as night with stars shining in them?”

James snickered. “Do you have a crush on both of them?”

“Nope,” Sirius shook his head. “Just Abby.”

“He’s already had Olivia,” Remus muttered to Peter, and they both burst out laughing.

“Shut up you two!”

“He’ll kill us if we say Abby, won’t he?” Remus whispered to James.

“Yep, better say Olivia.”

“I can hear that!”

Remus rolled his eyes. “Olivia.”

James nodded. “Olivia.”

“Abby.”

“What?”

“Joking, Padfoot, joking,” Peter muttered.

“Why don’t we go to dinner before a wrong word falls?” Remus suggested with a smile.

“Sure.” James got up, grinning. Sirius, looking rather gloomy, followed.

The Great Hall was filled with students eating. The Marauders skimmed the table, and to James’ pleasure, the only empty seats were next to Lily, Sarah, and Alison.

“Act cool,” Remus whispered. “Remember our first six points.”

James rolled his eyes. “I’m not a retard.” He strode down the table with his friends right behind him. He sat down next to Alison. “Hullo, ladies.” His eyes only lingered at Lily for about half a second.

The three girls exchanged glances. Sarah was the first to speak. “So, you’re done with the spitting contest?”
James’ smile fell very slightly, but he decided to play it cool. “Yup. But really . . . it’s a guy thing, not something to blow up over.”

“We didn’t blow up,” Lily said coldly.

“Relax, Miss Evans.” Sirius grinned. “We were just having some fun.”

“Boys will be boys. . .” Peter said.

“Uh huh,” James said, taking beef and potatoes to his plate.

“Hey, what about this, Prongs?” Sirius held up a bowl of steamed broccoli.

“Green food is for rabbits,” he muttered, food already in his mouth. “No thanks.” A piece of potato fell out.

Lily sent him a disgusted look as Remus patted his shoulder, a sarcastic smile on his lips. “Point 7, mate,” he whispered.

~
7. * sigh* and don’t talk with food in your mouth either.
~

Sirius rolled his eyes. “So, where are we going after dinner?”

James swallowed, about to answer, but Alison beat him to it.

“More spitting contests?” she asked, smiling angelically.

Sirius sent her a glare. “I didn’t ask you, Tattershall.”

She glared back. “Well, I’m sorry, Black.” She spat the word as if it was dirty. “I just assumed that animals, like you, do that kind of stuff.”

“Well-”

“Enough!” James cut them off, holding up a hand. “I’m eating now, and where I come from, we do not fight while eating. If you must, please go outside. And if you want to be real gentlemanly, Sirius, take with you a glove and give it to her. You do not hit girls, unless they’re not real girls. Alison, you must only hit him with the glove because that’s what they did when my grandma was a boy.”

Remus frowned. “Your grandma was never a boy.”

James rolled his eyes. “Don’t ruin the moment, Moony.”

Peter shook his head. “What you just said, Prongs didn’t make any sense.”

“So what?” James mumbled and began eating without noticing the reactions around him.

Sirius seemed utterly perplexed. Alison dropped her fork along with her jaw. She picked it up quickly, though. Sarah was chuckling along with Peter, and Lily looked even more perplexed than Sirius.
Alison cleared her throat. “Um, sorry, Black. I didn’t mean to . . . you know.”

“It’s okay, Tattershall. I shouldn’t have bitten your head off like that.”

James smiled. “And that,” he whispered to Remus, “is how a real gentleman does it.”

Remus snickered. “Sure.”

“So, returning to the previous topic,” Peter said lightly, “what were we doing after this?”

James’ face lit up. “I have this great idea for an amazing prank!”

“What?” Sirius asked.

“Well, it goes like this-”

“Head Boy, James,” Lily sang, finger to her cheek. “You’re Head Boy.”

He looked at her. “Um.”

Remus looked down, smiling slightly.

~
8. Prank-talk around her is out too.
~

“Sorry,” James muttered. “It was just such a great idea.”

“I’ll keep an eye on you,” she said, raising both eyebrows.

“I’ll keep in line,” he said, eating some more to prevent himself from screwing up more.

“We’ll keep him in line, Lily,” Sirius said.

She snorted. “As if that’s making me feel more faithful in you.” She rolled her eyes. “You’re just as bad as he is.”

With a sigh, James turned away from Lily, deciding to not talk to her anymore. This plan had to work. He started a conversation with Alison, instead. He wasn’t ignoring Lily, but just not giving her the attention.


*

Thanks for reading, please leave feedback!

- Vicki

Hey!
Okay, first wow. I’m really shocked by the amount of positive feedback I’ve gotten. Thanks a thousand times! Oh yea, and in fact you were thinking I just wanted to say yes, this might seem a bit ‘rushed’ or ‘fast-moving’ at times, but it is the way I chose to built this up and I like it best this way when not having unnecessary scenes in it, and while we’re at it, yes, the story ends along with the list. And thanks to my beta, Jessica, she’s doing an amazing job! Oh, and now you can read

*

I get it, she’s the man.
September 27th, late morning.

“This is stupid,” James muttered and waved his wand.

Sirius grinned. “It’s class.”

“Yeah, but who needs to make armors walking anyways?”

“I can think of a few good pranks, though they have to be bigger than half a meter.”

James lowered his wand, looking at Sirius. “Yes?”

Sirius chuckled. “Now is not the time, my dear Prongs.”

James noticed Lily at the nearby table. “No. Let’s just focus on being small good students. Find our true selves.”

They both burst out in held-backed laughter. “Yeah, right,” Sirius snorted.

“I hate Charms,” James mumbled, waving his wand. The armor’s left hand exploded. “I mean, honestly!”

“You stink at this, Prongs,” Sirius muttered. He waved his wand at his miniature armor and it moved. “And look what mine can do!” He made it kick James’ armor in the back.

James clenched his teeth. “You’re dead, Padfoot.” He concentrated and waved his wand. It worked and the armor sent one kick back at Sirius’. “Ha!”

Sirius eyed him. “Are you challenging me, Mr. Prongs?”

“I believe so, Mr. Padfoot.”

“Until they’re beheaded,” asked Sirius thoughtfully for a moment, then added, “Oh, yeah, swords?”

Sirius conjured two swords as an answer and without another word, the two armors started fighting. James’ stuck out the sword, but Sirius’ ducked and sent a well aimed stroke back at the left arm of James’. It fell off. James’ stroke back and nearly hit the neck of Sirius’.

Several students of the class were watching the death match by then. Sirius’ struck and missed, he got a blow in the head back.

“HA!” James exclaimed.
He stroke again and nearly cut the head off. Sirius’ fought back and made a big dent in the torso of James’. James snarled and with one last swift of the wand, his armor cut Sirius’ in two: head and body.

“YES!” he exclaimed and jumped up. “I WON!”

“Stupid useless suit of armor,” Sirius muttered and kicked his.

“Loser!” James grinned at Sirius and stretched up his arms. “I am King of Armor Fighting!”

“Oh, relax, Potter,” Lily suddenly hissed next to him. “It’s not like you just won the Quidditch Word Cup.”

His smile faded slightly as Lily spun around and turned to her and Sarah’s table. Sirius chuckled.

“It seems there’re still things to work on.”

“What?”

~
9. Don’t let her know you think you’re King of the World.
~

“Oh what’s the fun about that?” he muttered as Sirius wrote it down.

“Listen, do you want the girl or not?” Sirius asked as he stuffed the list back in his bag.

“Do.”

“Great. Then do as the list tells you to.”

James grimaced, “Fine, fine.”

“Fantastic! Now, are we up for another fight?”

“I believe another fight is in place.”

Sirius fixed his armor and they started fighting again. James’ armor’s sword was blown out of its hands by Sirius and it started fighting with its hands: Sirius’s won easily, beheading it. Cussing mildly, James fixed his armor.

“Best out of three?”

“Of course.”

James made sure his armor had a sword again, and the fight continued. This time it was with much more violence and noise than before. Sirius’ lost its left arm and James’ had several big dents. When several of the nearby students were looking, James decided to end it and made the final blow. The armor’s head flew several meters away and landed at the feet of Professor Flitwick. Both boys laughed.

“Well, well, boys. What an interesting way to practice several different charms!” he said and clapped his hands. “Ten points for Gryffindor.”

James and Sirius both jumped up and high-fived. “Oh yeah,” James said and leaned closer to Sirius, “Ha, ha! I won.”

The little crowd disappeared.

Sirius pushed him in the ribs, “Idiot.”

James chuckled. He noticed Lily was still looking at them. He sent her a faint smile and then turned back to Sirius.

“See! No playing King of the World.”

Sirius pattered him on the back. “Great, Prongs, great.”


September 30th, morning.

“I hate Mondays!” Peter complained as he sat down at breakfast with James.

“Yeah, me too,” James muttered sourly. “It’s like last week all over again.”

“Though one week closer to next break,” Peter said.

“Oh, I hadn’t thought of that view before. Smart…”

“And there’s only a little more than one month to first the Hogsmeade trip. Asking Evans?”

James shrugged. “I’ll think about that when that time comes.”

“Hey, I was wondering about something,” Peter said, studying his breakfast.

“Speak,” James commanded.

“Well, it’s the deal about girls and visits to the lavatory.”

James frowned. “We all wonder about that, Wormtail.”

“Yeah, but seriously, do they need to go together? I mean, just yesterday Cindy and Pamela were out there together, for half an hour! Seriously! How is that possibly?”

James shook his head. “It’s a mystery. But they must use the time for something out there, right?”

“Yeah, but what?” Peter asked with narrowed eyes.

“Um, make-up?” James asked, clueless.

“It just seems so unlikely, half an hour on make-up?”

“Maybe there’s something we’re not thinking of,” James muttered, putting a hand to his mouth, “something significant. Maybe they have games and stuff out there.”

“It doesn’t make sense,” Peter said and looked at a couple of girls down the table.

James was about to say something more, but a yell from the other end of the table stopped him.

“Hey, Prongs!”

James turned at the call from Sirius. He was running down along the table very fast. Just when there was only five meters left, he stumbled over a high stone in the floor and slid the rest of the way to his two friends.

James leaned over him, slanting his head slightly, “yes, Padfoot?”

Sirius groaned and lifted his head, “Troublemakers in the Entrance Hall and Evans on her way.”

“Is that so?”

“Sure.”

James jumped up and strode past Sirius.

“Hey, aren’t you going to help me up?”

“No!”

James was out of the Great Hall in a matter of seconds, leaving Sirius on the floor and Peter staring after him. In the Entrance Hall, two third years were fighting. A few others were cheering. With balled fists he marched over, grabbed each of the students by the collar and pulled them apart. Silence fell over the Entrance Hall.

“So!” he commanded. “What’s going on?”

The first one, a tiny boy with black hair pointed at the other one. “He stole my Chocolate Frog Card with Agrippa!”

“Did not!” the other boy, just as skinny but blonde, squealed. “I bet you lost it! He loses everything!”

“Do not! And I had it this very morning!”

“Lost it on the way to class I bet.”


“You’re a big fat lai-”

“ENOUGH!” James yelled. “If you two stop fighting I’ll put you both down. But we need to sort this out. You,” – he looked at the black haired boy – “Why would your friend steal your Chocolate Frog Card?”

“Because he doesn’t have one of Agrippa himself!”

“Do so!”

“Yeah after you stole mine!”

“But-”

“QUIET!” James had to raise his voice again. He marched over to the wall and hung each boy up on unlit torches. “Great, now that you’re not going anywhere. Apologize!”

“James Potter!”

James spun around and found Lily standing in the middle of the floor, hands on her hips and her eyes narrowed at him. He noticed Remus standing far behind.

“Yes?” he asked lightly.

“Why are those children on the wall?” she asked and walked over next to him.

“They were fighting.”

She rolled her eyes and started taking the black haired boy down. “But you don’t hang them up on the wall.” She gave up as she couldn’t lift him.

“But they wouldn’t stop fighting.”

“Please take them down,” she just said.

“But-”

“Now!”

“Okay, okay,” he muttered and took the first boy down. Then the second, eyeing their houses. “And ten points from Ravenclaw.”

Lily rolled her eyes and waited till the boys had gone away before she spoke. “Potter, ” Her voice was harsh, yet with a different edge. “You just can’t go around and hang up the students who don’t know how to behave. You take points from the house and give detentions. Not hang-ups on the wall.”

“But…” He caught sign of Remus shaking his head behind Lily, holding up a sign just big enough for him
to read.

~
10. Always let her know she’s right.
~

“All right,” he mumbled and looked at Lily again, “points and detentions.”
She smiled, “Fantastic.”

She turned to go and James slowly followed with Remus.

“But why not teach them a lesson when you’re able to it?” he asked loudly. “I mean, they did deserve it, and I still think I was right.”

In a matter of seconds, Lily had stopped and turned around, “James Potter! No you aren’t right. Not now, not ever, okay? Points and detentions, points and detentions; and when I’m not there, points and detentions!”

Remus shook his head, despairing, looking into his bag. Before James could answer Lily had stormed off again. Remus handed him a paper. He found it was the list.

~
11. You never are, even if you don’t think she’s listening.
~

“I just don’t understand it,” James said as Remus packed away the list. “If I in fact am right, then why bend one’s head and give her right? Why give her the pants?”

“Because that’s what some women want, they like to be the one wearing the pants. It makes them feel powerful.”

“They want to have a right. They want to be smarter,” Sirius joined in next to him, coming from the staircase.

“I get it, I get it,” James muttered, tired, “She’s the man.”

“Correct,” Remus grinned.

“Girls are trouble.”

“It’s just because you don’t understand them, Prongs,” Sirius said and put an arm around his shoulders.

“Don’t come and tell me that you do.”

“I don’t, but I act like I do.”


*

Please leave feedback, I love hearing from you!

- Vicki

Hey all!
So here’s the next chapter. Sorry, I would have had it our yesterday, but I was suddenly told I needed to go to a meeting. I didn’t want to though thanks to Jessica for being a great beta. Oh well, now you can read

*

And that is how it’s done!
October 2nd, afternoon.

“Okay so I got this great idea.”

Sirius looked up at James. “Prongs, all your ideas seem great to you.”

“Yeah,” Remus said. “But they usually end badly.”

“Think of your scar,” Peter said at last.

James got a faraway look on his face, but at once shot back to the present. “That was only because the idea was offensive to Evans.”

Remus rolled his eyes. “All your ideas are.”

“You’re a pessimist,” James said. “So, Wormtail, Padfoot, may I present plan ‘Oh dear’!”

He held up something in his hands. Sirius and Peter both titled their heads.

“What is it?” Sirius asked.

“It looks like nothing with a tiny bit of indifference on top, if you look at it like this,” Peter said and narrowed both his eyes so they were almost shut.

James whacked the back of his head. “It’s art!”

“It’s a black surface with a red dot,” Sirius said.

“Don’t you see?” James asked, passion burning. “Girls love art! They love to see meaningless things in ugly objects!”

Remus shook his head. “No they don’t.”

James lowered the piece of ‘art’. “They don’t?”

“No,” Remus said and rolled his eyes. “Different people do. You can’t go around and put girls in boxes.”

“I’m not putting them into boxes,” James muttered.

“Metaphorically,” said Remus as he rolled his eyes.

“Oh.” James bit his lower lip. “Okay, but I need a topic I can talk to her about, and seem to know a lot about at the same time! And give her the right to disagree!”

“Uh, uh!” Peter exclaimed. “Mushrooms!”

They all looked at him. Sirius was the first to speak, “What?”

Peter shrugged. “I was just trying to come up with something…”

Remus put his face in his hands and rubbed. “Oh dear, I’m surrounded by idiots.”

“I’m not an idiot,” James whined.

Remus ignored him. “Okay, fine. But if you want to start a conversation with her, always ask her. Ask her what she likes.”

“What’s the fun about that?” Sirius mumbled. “The girls shouldn’t be the only one getting-”

“Shut up Padfoot,” James cut her off. “Please continue, Moony.”

Remus smiled. “What I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted, was that if you want to have a conversation with her, find something you can also concentrate on and…”

~
12. Let her know that you’re in fact interested in the meaningless ramble she’s saying.
~

“But what if it in fact is meaningless ramble she’s saying?”

“Then you’re still paying attention!”

“Oh.” James frowned. “Okay, Quidditch!”

“Lily isn’t interested in Quidditch. Find something she’d like to talk about too!”

“What about the Rights of House Elves!” Sirius said.

James looked at him. “What?”

He shrugged. “Women don’t like people that suppress creatures and other people.”

“When did you get so smart?”

Sirius glared at James. “I’ve always been this smart.”

James nodded. “Okay, I’ll give it a try.”

“Oh,” Peter muttered. “Here’s your chance.”

“What?” James hissed.

“She’s coming into the library.”

James spun around and sat down at the table with his back at Lily. “Oh, Merlin, I’m not ready!”

“Be ready then!” Remus hissed.

“Where did she go?”

“Restricted section,” Sirius said.

“Get up you chicken!” Remus said and kicked James’ leg.
He shot up with a yelp. He glared at Remus before storming off.

“Do you think he’ll make it?” Peter muttered with his eyes on James’ back.

“No. He’ll screw up completely,” Sirius said.


“I think he’ll do okay,” Remus said.

Sirius’ eyes glinted. “Wanna come and find out?”

“We shouldn’t.”

“No, but when do we ever do things we should?” Peter asked, getting up.

“My point, Wormtail,” Sirius said and followed.

Remus looked after the other two. Then he got up too. “Oh Merlin, I must be out of my mind,” he muttered.

Sirius and Peter had already gathered behind a bookshelf so James was facing them, but Lily had her back at them. She didn’t sound annoyed just yet.

“… But I really do think it’s interesting,” she said.

James held up a book, “really, this one?”

She nodded enthusiastically. “Have you ever looked through some of the spells?”

“They’re talking magic?” Remus asked in disbelief.

“It’s working,” Sirius muttered.
“No it isn’t,” Peter whispered. “Look, James’ eyes are spacing out.”

“Oh, no,” Remus mumbled. “Paper, Padfoot?”

“I don’t have any paper.”

“Wormtail?”
Peter found a smaller piece of parchment in his pocket. With a little help from a Refilling Quill Remus wrote a quick note. Holding it up they tried to gain James’ attention. Sirius was able to get James’ eyes focused on the note.

~
13. Listen to her, not just look at her.
~

With a little shake James returned and with attentive eyes he looked at Lily, nodding once in a while and saying ‘aha’s and ‘yeah’s. Though slowly it seemed like his attention was fading… and his eyes drifted downwards.

“Oh no, he’s not,” Sirius whispered, about to laugh.

Feverish Remus turned the parchment and wrote a new note. “His attention?” he whispered and Peter and Sirius started regaining it.

Remus held up the note as soon as they’d made him look again.


~
14. And look her in the eyes.
~

James blushed slightly before returning back to the conversation, suddenly going into it with much more enthusiasm than before. Lily didn’t seem to have noticed as she was looking into the book after some line.

“And that,” Remus whispered and brushed off his hands, “is how it’s done!”

“Thinks he’s so smart,” Sirius muttered as Remus walked off. “And perfect.”

October 5th, morning.

James clasped his hands over his ears as Sirius started on the second verse of his lovely ‘I love Saturdays’-song. Peter had already done so with his eyes on Sirius.

“Oh Saturday, Oh Saturday,
Of all the day most lovely,
Oh Saturday, Oh Saturday,
You are me so abovely.”

Peter leaned to James. “There’s no such word as ‘abovely’, is there?”

“No,” James said flatly, shaking his head slightly.

“Each week you bring to me delights,
as sunny days and long nights.”

“Won’t he ever stop?” Peter groaned.

“I don’t think so,” James muttered. “He’s made like ten verses.”

“Oh dear.”

“Uh huh.”

They both looked at Sirius with empty gazes as he began third verse. “Oh Saturday, oh Saturday,
Have fun, relax and play pranks,
Oh Saturday, oh Saturday,
I feel I need to say thanks.”

“My ears hurt,” Peter whined and faked breaking down in tears.

“So does mine,” James said and followed suit.

Remus sat down next to Sirius, eyeing him. “Is that to the tune of ‘Oh Christmas tree’?” he asked.

“Oh yes,” James said with a tight smile.

“Doesn’t it sound wonderful?” Peter asked with the same tight smile.

“Uh!” James said all of a sudden. “Evans!”

Remus rolled his eyes. “Relax.”

“Laugh!” James commanded.

“What? Why?”

“She thinks I’ve said something funny then.”

“I’m not doing it!” Remus hissed.

James looked around, excited. “What should I do?”

Remus rolled his eyes. “Relax, be yourself.”

“He shouldn’t be himself,” Peter said. “Then she’ll just run off, screaming.”

“Okay, I have another one.”

~
15. Be smart and wise in your actions around her.
~

“Oh, what’s the fun about that?” James muttered.
“Just do it!”

“Fine!”

Lily, Sarah, and Alison walked down the table. When they were about to pass the boys, James leaned back slightly, looking at them.

“Why don’t you sit with us today?” he said and sent each girl a smile. “It’d really make the day extraordinary…”

Lily hesitated, but before she could answer Sarah had sat down next to James. Alison followed and at last Lily with an unsure look. Sirius had still not stopped singing and James sent him a glare.

“And good morning,” Remus said.

“Morning,” Lily said, taking a simple bread to her plate.

James scanned the table around Lily. He eyed a jug of juice which wasn’t near him.

“Lily, would you please hand me the pumpkin juice?” he asked.

Lily looked at him with a speechless expression. Then she shook out of it. “Um, yeah, sure,” she said and took hold of it. “Here…”

He smiled as he took the jug from her hands. “Thank you.”

Remus sent him a smile and gave him thumbs up. James poured the juice into his glass with a smug smile. Meanwhile Sirius started on the sixth verse… and James had suddenly had enough.

“Oh Saturday, oh Saturday,
To class we don’t have to go,
Oh Saturday, oh Saturday,
We sing, we-”

And that’s when a piece of pie hit him square in the face and slowly fell onto the plate. Sirius looked at the mashed pie on his plate and then up at James.

“Did you just throw pie at me?”

“Maybe,” James hissed, a smirk playing his lips.

Sirius shook his head and in a matter of seconds the pie was returned. James ducked, but the food fight had been started. The girls edged away slowly.

“Oh dear,” Remus said, taking a hand to his head.

~
16. Which also means; don’t start food fights.
~

“I can’t believe you’re that stupid, James!” Remus exclaimed when they boys were on their way back to the Gryffindor tower. “I mean, seriously, food fights?!”

James shrugged slowly. “Sirius started it.”

“Didn’t,” Sirius muttered next to him.

“You sang.”

“I do that most Saturdays!”

Remus hit both of them. “This is not about who stared it! It’s about James’ stupid list! Honestly, James, do you want to fail?”

“No,” James sighed. “I don’t.”

“Then it’s time to pull you together, man!”

“No need to be mean,” James muttered.

“But he’s right, Prongs,” Peter said. “You need to work on it. You’ve only got fourteen points left.”
“Which should be enough,” James defended.

“Not if you’re not working on it,” Remus said. “You could have gotten real far today. On first names and all, but no! You had to screw up!”

“Okay, okay! I’ll do better from now on!”


*

Don’t forget to leave feedback, I always like to hear your thoughts!

- Vicki

Hey!
So finally Lily gets a bit more time in my chapter. She’s in this a little more than the chapters so far, I think. Thanks to Jessica for betaing, and that’s in fact all!

*

But really, who understands women?
October 11th, midday.

James was lying on a couch in the common room, looking at the ceiling with his fingers drumming on his stomach. Sirius and Peter sat next to him, playing chess. Remus was reading. Slowly James sat up, licking his lips.

“Do you realize that Lily hasn’t gotten mad at me for five whole days?”

Sirius nodded, absentminded, “Sure, Prongs, sure.”

James rolled his eyes. “Moony?”

Remus looked up. “Yeah, I think it helped with a telling off.”

“Ts,” James uttered. “I think it’s because of me.”

Peter snorted and James shot him a glare. “What?” Peter asked. “I had something in my nose.”

James lay down again. “You do realize that there’s only twenty days until Hogsmeade, right?”

“Yeah,” Sirius said. “It’s the same every year.”

“Okay, that gives me – what? 17 days till the last chance of asking her if she wants to go with me.”

“You’ve made a deadline?” Remus asked, lowering his books.
“Now I have. 29th. Then I’m not too early and not too late out.”

“Why worry about that?”

“Because,” James sighed, “If I ask her too early, she’ll think I’m a loser who just wants to make sure to have a date. It gives me a cool façade to wait a bit. But if I’m too late it seems like I don’t care for her, that I just want to go with some girl.”
Sirius nodded. “It sounds right in my ears.”

“Fair enough,” Remus said with a nod and raised his book again.

October 12th, afternoon.

“Okay, so we basically spent about two useless hours in the library,” James groaned, walking the corridors towards the Gryffindor tower.

“And we didn’t find one single good hex,” Sirius muttered.

“I could have spent the two hours at the Quidditch pitch.”

“My hands hurt,” Peter complained.

“How many times do I need to tell you?” Remus sighed. “Don’t touch books with colored slime on.”

“It didn’t look bad,” Peter mumbled, studying his hands closely. “It looks rather cool, really. Who doesn’t want purple hands and webbed fingers?”
“We could get you a snorkel and then throw you in the black lake?” James asked.

“I’d join you then,” Sirius said. “But I want my hands to be blue; it’d match my eyes and hair better than purple.”

“We could form a new club, The Swimming Swimmers!” Peter said.

“It doesn’t really have that sound the ‘Marauders’ has,” Sirius said with a heavy voice. “We need to be a little more creative.”

They suddenly heard voices around the corner. As a Marauder, they had learned to always stop; it could be important info no others were to hear. It was a woman’s voice that James recognized as Lily’s.

“Why don’t you just get your useless excuse for a body out of my way?” she snapped.

James stuck his head around the corner. Rosier was blocking the corridor for her, twirling his wand around his fingers.

“What a temper you’ve got Mudblood,” he smirked.

“Oh, shut up!”

“And language.”

“I’ll show him,” James muttered and stomped forward. “No one crosses-”

“No!” Remus hissed and grabbed James’ cloak, dragging him back. “It won’t help, Prongs.”
“Why not?”

“Do you even know Lily?” Remus asked and rolled his eyes. “I think it’s time for another point.”

~
17. Don’t help her just to boost your ego.
~

“Well, that’s just plain stupid.” James relaxed, crossing his instinct.

“But right,” Peter muttered. “Remember all those times she’s gotten mad at you because you wanted to protect her.”

“She went crazy,” Sirius joined. “It gave me scars for life; mental ones of course. I had no idea girls could get so mad!”

James clenched his teeth and watched as Lily drew her wand. “Okay,” she said. “I’ll repeat, get the hell out of my way!”

Rosier lifted his wand. “But I’m so good here.”

Before anyone could even say one more word, Rosier had sent a hex towards Lily. She blocked it easily, but he had the upper hand and kept sending spells, not giving her time.

After several minutes of fighting, Rosier got her disarmed and knocked her off her legs with one swift. He raised his wand towards Lily. James had had enough. He sent Remus a snarl and stepped around the corner.

“Expelliarmus!” he yelled and Rosier’s wand flew out of his hands. “Stupefy!”

Rosier fell to the ground, stunned. James rushed to Lily’s side, kneeling down beside her. He laid a hand on her back and helped her up with the other.

“Are you okay?”

She nodded, not meeting his eyes. “I’m fine.”

“I thought you were a good dueler,” he grinned, brushing dirt of her arm.

She eyed him. “How long time have you been there?”

“A few minutes,” he said with a shrug.

“You were there the whole time?” she asked, slightly high voice.

“Um, yes,” James said.

“Why didn’t you help me?” she exclaimed and hit his chest.

~
18. …Unless of course she in fact needs and wants help.
~

“Ouch,” he exclaimed and took a hand to his heart. “I didn’t think you wanted my help. You usually don’t.”

She pursed her lips. “Sometimes it’s nice,” she muttered, looking away.

“I’ll remember that,” he said with a smile and picked up her wand. She rolled her eyes as he handed it to her. “A ‘thank you’ would be nice,” he said.

“Thanks, James,” she muttered.

“You’re welcome,” he said a smiled. “I’d be happy to help you another time.”

“In time then,” she said and raised one eyebrow.

“I could do that.”

“So we have a deal?”

“Deal.”

She laughed. “So what brings you here?”

He shrugged, wondering if his friends were following. “A trip to the library. You?”

“Just a walk,” she answered shortly.

“Where’re Alison and Sarah?”

“Dorm, I think. They didn’t want to come.”

“What?” he asked in disbelief. “Seriously, you can’t walk around the castle alone!”

She raised an eyebrow. “And why is that?”

“You know,” he grunted. “What kind of friends are they when they let you walk around alone?”

“They’re perfectly good friends,” she bit. “If they don’t want to come, they don’t want to come.”

James saw his mistake and already knew Remus would be ready to write it to the list.

~
19. Talk nicely about her friends.
~

“Sorry,” he muttered. “I just don’t like the thought of you going around the castle alone.”

She looked away. “You do it too, walking alone.”

‘No, I just left my friends,’ he thought.

“Yes, but that’s different.”
“How?” she asked with a laugh. It was a sweet laugh.

He rolled his eyes. “I’m not the first one a possible Death Eater would go after. Yes, I am a blood traitor, but… I’m not…” He struggled with the word, but took a deep breath, “a muggleborn. Sorry, but that’s a fact no matter how little we like it to be. Lily, you’re much more in danger than me or Sirius or a lot of other people in this castle.”

She sighed. “I know.” Her voice sounded heavy, sad maybe. “But what can I do?” She suddenly sounded hoarse.

Reacting on impulses James suddenly grabbed her shoulders and forced her to face him. He looked at her a few seconds; her face was neutral, innocent.

“Promise me,” he muttered, “promise me you won’t go wandering around the corridors alone again. Please, for me?”

She looked away with a sigh and bit her lower lip. “Okay, fine.”

He smiled. “Thanks. Then I don’t need to go around and worry about you.”

“You don’t need to worry about me, James,” she said with a sigh. “I can defend myself.”

“And what was that I just saw then?”

She smiled. “I was just seeing how long I could let it go.”

“Sure you were.”

*A few meters behind James and Lily*

“This is getting seriously stupid!” Sirius muttered. “Look! They’re actually talking and having fun!”

Remus smirked. “I told you it’d work.”

“I can rearrange that.”

“Don't even think about it! James has worked hard for this! Now let him have his princess.”

“Idiots.”

“You might as well start saving up, Padfoot,” Peter muttered.

“I still believe he’ll screw up.” Sirius crossed his arms stubbornly. “He has to.”

Peter smirked. “Oh, look, he’s actually making her laugh. I bet that hurts, eh, Padfoot?”

“Watch out, Wormtail, or I’ll kill you next full moon. I am bigger than you.”

“But the werewolf is with the rat,” Remus smirked.

“You know what?” Sirius stopped suddenly and held up his hands. “I’ve got other friends! I don’t need you.”

“Oh, who are you kidding?” Peter snickered.
Remus joined him. “He could always go seek up his brother…”

Sirius made a hissing noise and the next second he’d pushed both Remus and Peter down a flight of stairs.

Remus and Peter landed safely at the bottom of the staircase, laughing. They weren’t hurt; Marauders were good at falling without getting hurt.

“He’s so easy,” Peter laughed.

“Just mention his brother and he tricks off,” Remus grinned and got up. “Commin’, Wormtail?”

“Right behind you.”

October 12th, early night.

“Oi, guys?” James called from his bed.

“Uh huh?” Remus answered.

Sirius and Peter just grunted to let him know they were listening. James sat up, pillow on top of his head.

“Are we too old for pillow fights?”

Sirius lifted his head. “I don’t think so.”

“You can never get too old for stuff like that,” Remus said.

James nodded. “Then I have another question.”

Peter groaned. “Not again, Prongs. You had Ten Questions Night last week too.”

“No,” James said and shook his head. “Just this one more.”

Remus nodded and sat up. “Is it about Lily?”

He shrugged. “Partly. You see, there’s something I don’t understand. Something I want to know.”

“Mate,” Sirius said and now sat up too. “You can’t know everything about women. They’re nothing like us. They’re like a totally different race of human.”

James grinned. “Okay, I’ll just talk to Moony. He’s the smartest.”

“Oi, I’m smart too!” Sirius exclaimed.

“Tell me,” Remus said, ignoring Sirius.

“Okay…” James muttered. “You see, I just don’t understand… How come women sometimes say one thing and mean another?”

Remus nodded. “Ahh, this is one of life’s greatest and still unanswered questions of women. But really, who understands women?”

“Just answer, Moony.”

Remus shook his head. “I don’t know. You really have to ask a female about that, one with the extra X chromosome.”

“Which is strange, ‘cause she’s here,” Sirius grinned and threw a pillow at Remus.

“Shut up!” Remus said and threw it back.

“Pillow fight resumed!” Sirius yelled and got up.


*

Feedback, thank you!

- Vicki

I don’t even have an A/N this time. Hm! You can just read

*

Yeah, they’re pretty good…
October 15th, evening.

“Knight to D4.”

Sirius watched as James’ black knight moved across the board and at last hit his own player on the top of its head and it parted in two. “Oh,” he muttered. “Um, Bishop to H6.”

Silence.

James frowned deeply. “Don’t you-”

“Oh, yeah, checkmate.” Sirius grinned at James. “It seems you’ve just lost, again. Chess is not one of your talents?”

James snarled. “Shut up. I’m tired.”

“You were that too yesterday,” Peter said from the side.

“And the day before yesterday,” Remus mumbled, “and the day before then, and the day before then, and the day before then, and the-”

“Oh, shut up!”

The others laughed. James got up. “Oh, I don’t need you!”

“Yeah, right,” Sirius snorted.

James rolled his eyes and walked away. He slumped down in a chair not far away from Alison and Sarah. He wondered for a second where Lily was. That was until she came down from the dorm wearing a (to put it mildly) horrible sweater, although it didn’t look ugly on her.

Flushed, Lily stopped in front of her two friends, her eyes flashed for a short second to James and then back, “Seriously,” she said, “what do you think of this?”

“You want us to be honest?” Sarah asked.

Lily nodded. “Please. My mum just sent it to me.”

Alison coughed. “Dear Merlin, your mother has horrible taste!”

Lily held up the letter. “Listen, ‘Dear Lily, I’m sending you this sweater. I hope you like it; Petunia said it was just you, especially with the pink and peach colored stripes…’ blah, blah, blah.” Lily screwed up her face. “I’ve never said I like pink and peach!”

James tilted his head and studied Lily in the sweater.

“We could change it,” Sarah suggested. “I mean you have nice hips in it.”

“And curves in generally,” Alison said.

“Yeah, they’re pretty good.”

All girls turned to James and then he noticed it was him who had spoken. He faintly noticed Remus clasp a hand against his forehead behind Lily. He already knew the next point.

~
20. Think and speak with your brain, not your… err… private parts.
~

“What I meant,” he said, clearing his throat, “was that that sweater looks pretty good on you, Lily. Not like that… Um, in fact I meant your eyes. They look amazing and match the pink in the sweater nicely.” He nodded and sent her a smile, hoping she’d buy it.

Lily chuckled. “You dork, James,” she grinned, blushing slightly. “Pink and green are horribly together. I’ll never take you shopping.”

He smiled sheepish, glad he’d managed to save it, “I’m a boy, what did you expect?”

She shrugged. “A bit more taste from your side.” She turned to Alison and Sarah. “Oh, please help me! I can’t go around with this!”

Alison shot a quick glance towards James. “Maybe we should go to the dorm, Lily.”

Lily nodded, bewildered. “Um, sure.”

James got up, about to leave. “Lily?”

She turned, “Yeah?”

“I do think it looks great on you.”

“Thanks,” she said and smiled, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

“Oh, come on, Lily,” Sarah sighed and grabbed Lily’s hand, dragging her towards the dorm.

Lily raised her hand in a goodbye.


October 17th, morning.

“I’ve thought about something!”

Sirius’ eyes widened. “No!” He grabbed James by the shoulders and shook him. “No! Prongs, mate, you can’t go around and think. It’ll hurt you.”

Irritated, James pushed Sirius hands away. “Shut up. I’ve been thinking.”

Remus nodded, “about what?”

“Thursdays.”

Remus scratched his neck. “Not following.”

James placed his chin on the table and looked straight ahead with an empty gaze. “They’re depressing.”

“They are?” Peter asked.

“Yep.”

“Why?”

“You’re so close to the weekend, yet so far. It’s one more day. It’s unbearable.” His hands were waving in the air to emphasize what he was trying to say.

“Then what are your thoughts on Wednesdays?” Remus asked, amused.

“Wednesdays are better because there’s still a long time until the weekend. Thursday and Monday are the worst days ever to be invented!”

“This is getting seriously stupid,” Remus muttered.

“I agree with Prongs,” Peter said.

“I’m surrounded by morons,” Remus groaned.

Sirius looked offended, “Hey, what about me?”

Remus rolled his eyes. “Yes, you’re in that category too.”

“Am so not!”

“Padfoot, you’re addicted to eggs! You sing while you pee! You have your underpants labeled ‘S.B.’! Do I need to continue?!”

“And he once tried to pee, sitting down,” Peter said, snickering.

“I was just testing how girls did it!”

“And he mainly forgot that girls do not have that extra little thing,” James smirked.

Remus and Peter burst out laughing while Sirius just sulked, placing his head in his arms on the table.

“Okay, this is getting depressing,” James said and got up. “Come on. Class starts in five minutes.”

“But we’re never on time,” Peter said with big eyes.

“Now we are,” James said, smiling.

“But whyyyyy?” Sirius whined and hit his fists against the table.

“And he wonders why we call him a moron,” James muttered to Remus.

Remus snickered and Sirius whacked James on the back of his head, “Idiot.”

“Let’s just go, shall we?” James asked.

Peter was the first to follow, then Remus, and Sirius followed. Outside the classroom, most of the students were already, waiting for Flitwick.

James’ eyes found Lily near the door. “Ugh,” he muttered. “She’s talking to Horton.”

They all turned towards Lily who was talking to Ravenclaw Mike Horton.

Sirius leaned against the wall. “So?”

“He’s an idiot… and I think he fancies her.”

Remus rolled his eyes. “Even if he does, what will you do about it?”

“Show him who’s wearing the pants!”

“Ah!” Remus said and grabbed James’ robes, pulling him back. “You really need to use your brain a bit more.”

“Why?”

“Girls hate jealous gits.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah.”

~
21. Don’t get jealous because she’s talking to other guys. Or at least don’t let her know that you are.
~

James rolled his eyes. “Fine.”

Before Remus had had a chance to do anything, James had walked away, towards Lily and the Ravenclaw. He smiled pleasantly.

“Horton,” he said with a nod.

“Potter,” Horton answered back.

Deciding to play the nice role, James quickly came up with a topic that would be great. “So how is your team this year?”

Horton chuckled. “My team is beating your team, in the first match of the year.”

Now it was James to chuckle. “Yeah, I don’t think so. Now I don’t like to give away details, but we’ve got a pretty awesome team. We’re on top – again – this year.”

“Yes, you won last year-”

“And the year before that.”

“But this year,” Horton continued as if he hadn’t heard James, “we’ve got the best team.”

“Keep dreaming,” James said with a smirk. “But, oh, Flitwick is coming. I’d love for this discussion to go on, but I have class to attend.” He walked past Horton to get to the door.

As the door was opened James held it open for Lily to enter. She gave him a smile and then continued.
With an almost unnoticeable snarl, Horton pushed past James, “You’re not fooling anyone, Potter!”

“I’m not trying to fool anyone,” James said and smiled. “Now if you don’t mind, I’d love to get to class.”
“I’ve got this class too, if you don’t remember.”
“Oh, I do remember.”

Acting as if nothing had happened James and Horton entered the classroom. James sat down at his usual table, perfectly still, watching Lily closely as she walked in and sat down at her usual table with Sarah. Sirius sat down next to James.

“Oh, you’re done being a cry baby?” James smirked.

“Done being an idiot?”

James rolled his eyes, “Never.” His eyes were drawn to Horton who sat down just one table to the left and two forward. “You know… I could hit him with a hex from here.”

Sirius raised one eyebrow. “Which one did you have in mind?”

James sighed, “Tail that leaks out of his ears, or the one with green skin and eyes?”

“Tail,” Sirius said confidently. “He won’t notice before someone tells him.”

James waited a few minutes until they were all set to work to practice a spell he’d not heard the name of. When everyone had gotten up it was much easier to get away with sending spells around they weren’t supposed to.
He pointed his wand at the back of Horton, “Cauda asciscolus,” he muttered with his wand pointing at the back of Horton.

Inaudibly a long black tail grew out from Horton’s robes. Sirius had to clasp a hand over his mouth to not laugh out loud.

“Look!” he said, “he’s a cat!”

James snickered. “Go fetch!”

“Uh, that’d be mean.”

“But fun.”
Suddenly something very hard collided with the back of James’ head.

“Ouch,” he exclaimed and took a hand to his head.

“James Douglas Potter!” Lily hissed in his ear and he turned. James saw the fat book in her hand.

“Oh, Lily, hi.”

She raised an eyebrow. “That’s just mean,” she said. “You don’t go and hex others.”

James rubbed his head, “Okay, okay. No need to go on middle names too…”

At the table behind Lily, Remus was shaking his head, looking for the list, apparently. James sighed.

~
22. And don’t hex the other guys. She will find out!
~

“Sorry,” he said at last. “It won’t happen again.”

“Fantastic,” Lily said with a smile. “You should know better. You’re Head Boy after all.”

“You say it as if it’s something bad.”

“Bad you don’t know the rules,” she said with a smile and sparkle in her eyes which did not match her words. “Now get back to work.”

“Yes, General,” he said sternly and raised a flat hand to his forehead and looked straight out.

She chuckled and turned. “And remove that tail, Private.”

She was back at her and Sarah’s table before he could answer. He turned to Sirius, “But I don’t know how to.”

Sirius snorted. “Good luck telling Evans that.”

James turned. “Oi, Moony?”

“Yes?” Remus answered looking up from his notes.

“Tail remover?”

Remus rolled his eyes and with a simple swift of his want Horton’s tail was gone.

“Thanks.”


*

So what do you think? Only 8 points left! What do you expect of the last few ones?

- Vicki

Hey! Sorry for a few days wait, I’ve not bee home, but I’ll try to get up the last few chapter as fast as possibly. There are only two points in this chapter, but that doesn’t make it less important. In case you were wondering, this it the seventh chapter and there’re only two more after this one. Thanks to Jessica for being a great beta.

*

This is getting siriusly ridiculous!
October 18th, midday.

“Okay!”

“Huh?”

“I said: okay!”

Remus looked at James who sat across from him at the table at lunch. He eyed him for a few seconds and then shook his head slowly to emphasize.

“I’m so not following you, Prongs.”

James rolled his eyes. “I’ve suddenly realized something.” He said it as if it was an obvious fact. James smiled. “A point!”

“Is that so?” Remus asked and James nodded. “Then let me hear?”

~
23. Show you know her and how she likes things to be.
~

Remus nodded, approving. “It seems like there in fact is some brain behind that mane of yours. So what are you going to do about it?”
James shook his head. “I have no idea,” he said, depressed.

“Think of what she likes, stuff like that…”

James looked upwards, to what would be the ceiling but was enchanted to look like the sky, thinking. And then all of a sudden it dawned to him: Lily’s obsession.
“She likes frogs!”

“Um, what?”

James rolled his eyes. “She loves frogs. Not like eating them, but she’s obsessed with frogs… like having a teddy-frog, a shirt with frogs and if you’ve noticed there’s several frogs on her books and school bag.”

Remus coughed. “Stalker!” He coughed again.

James glared at him. “Shut it.”

Remus put a hand to his mouth. “Okay, okay, yeah you’re right. So what did you have in mind?”

James pursed his lips and looked towards Lily who sat at the other end of the table. “I’m not sure. But when are Padfoot and Wormtail finished?”

“Class ends in five minutes and then they have to walk back to the castle. They should be here in ten minutes. Will you please tell me what you have in mind?”

James shook his head. “Not just yet.”

October 19th, evening.

James slumped down in his armchair next to Peter who was reading. Remus and Sirius were playing chess.

“Okay, it’s fixed,” he said.

Sirius looked up shortly. “What’s fixed?”

James smiled. “My little surprise- the one that’ll show Lily I know her.”

“Will you tell us now what you’ve planned?”

“Nope,” James said with a smirk. “You’ll have to wait until tomorrow.”

“He’s annoying,” Sirius muttered with eyes on the chessboard, “Queen to D5.”

“And you won’t tell us because…?” Peter asked.

“Just because,” James smirked. “You’ll see. It’s not that big of a deal.”

“Can you at least give us a hint?” Remus asked. “Um, Rook to F6.”
James shook his head “Nope.”

“You know what I’ve thought about?” Peter asked all of a sudden.

“Why don’t you tell us?” Sirius mumbled.

“It’s Saturday evening, and we’re sitting in the dorm, playing chess and reading. James complains about the school days, and we’re spending our weekend playing chess. It doesn’t make any sense to me.”

“It’s the feeling of freedom that makes Saturday’s great,” Sirius explained.

“But what about Sundays then, we’re off from school there too?”

James shook his head. “No. Sundays are depressing. You’ve got school the next day. That means you have to go to bed early.”

Peter frowned. “But we don’t usually care about whether we have school the next day or not…”

“It’s the feeling that counts,” James said.

“I’m not sure I get it.”

“You’re not alone,” Remus said, shaking his head. “I don’t get their logic either.”

“It’s not logic’,” Sirius said matter-of-factly. “It’s an outlook on life.”

“Still not following,” Peter mumbled and raised his book in front of him.

October 20th, late morning.

The plate in front of James was untouched and James sat tensely in his chair, looking upwards with a calm and controlled face, though it shined of excitement. “When will the owls be here?” he mused, more to himself than his friends surrounding him.

Remus looked at his watch. “Any second,” he said.

With clenched teeth James looked at his plate and grabbed a fork. “Eat,” he commanded to himself.

Sirius grinned. “Relax, Prongs.”

“Don’t look up,” Peter said, “but the owls are here.”

James looked at the eggs on his plate without really looking. Owls landed everywhere around them, but the only one he noticed was the one landing next to Lily. His heart beat a bit faster as she took the letter.

“Just try to eat,” Sirius said. “Play it cool.”

“She’s opening it,” Remus muttered.

“Look away!” James said.

None of them said anything a few seconds. They all looked at each other. At last James had had enough.

“Is she looking?” he muttered, slightly poking his eggs.


Sirius slowly lifted a knife so he could see to the left of them without being noticed. “Nope… but she’s blushing and gossiping with Alison and Sarah. And I think she’s fighting with a smile…”

“Ha,” James whispered. “I knew it’d work.”

Remus glanced at the girls. “Uh, what is it?”

James shook his head. “Not telling.”

“Oh!” Sirius said and dropped his knife. “She’s looking.”

James rolled his eyes. “Wow, much help you are.”

Remus looked between them. “Maybe we should get out of here? I think it adds a bit of coolness to the whole thing that you’re not into gloating.”

James got up, nodding.

They all followed James without looking at the girls again.

“Do you think she likes it?” Peter asked.

Sirius nodded. “I’m sure. That face is not to be mistaken.”

“We’ll just have to see,” James said smoothly.


“Will you please tell us what you bought her?” Remus asked frustrated.

James shrugged. “You saw the teddy. I thought she needed one to the collection. And then… well, my mother helped me with this one really. You know how she works with getting us more involved in the muggle world. Well, she had some folders of a place – no idea what it’s called – but you can go there and look at all their weird animals – frogs especially – all day long. I simply got my mother to buy tickets she can use whenever she wants.”

Peter nodded. “That’s pretty nice I’d said.”

“You said tickets?” Remus asked, “How many?”

James smirked. “Two.”

“Oh?” Sirius asked what seemed like a casual tone.

“I’m hoping that this’ll work and then she’ll ask me.”

“Maybe she will,” Remus said. “But I think it was a bit too much maybe.”

“You think?” James asked and scratched his neck. “I really don’t know…”

“For you maybe not,” Sirius said, “but maybe she’ll think it’s a little much.”

James sighed. “Okay then. Maybe you’re right. We’ll just have to wait and see.”


October 20th, late afternoon.

“Hey, guys I’ll check down this row,” James said and pointed.

They all just nodded and waved him off. The Marauders were in the library again, searching for spells, hexes, and jinxes. Not that they hadn’t already searched the library a hundred times, but each time they did, they found something new.

Humming slightly to himself James moved down the row, pulling out books once in a while. He stopped in the middle, taking one book down leafing through it, but finding nothing. With a sigh he put it back on the shelf. He moved another meter and pulled yet another book out, but was very surprised to find a pair of green eyes looking at him in the hole where there was a book before. He was shocked, but quickly regained his normal face.

“Why, hello, Lily,” he said with a smile.

“James,” she said with a nod.

“So what brings you here?” he asked and leafed through the book nonchalantly.

“You,” she said and he looked up shocked.

“Um, what?”

She grinned. “I wanted to say thanks. You shouldn’t have done that.”


He shrugged and moved a bit down the shelf, she followed on the other side. “The tickets just sort of landed in my hands and I thought of you.” It wasn’t a complete lie.

“But thanks anyways…” She smiled. “It was really nice of you.”

“It nothing,” he said and shook his head.

She eyed him. “When I say it’s nice, I mean it. Don’t say it’s nothing.” Her tone had a sharp edge, yet she was smiling.

“Hmm,” James said, it was more to himself than Lily.

Maybe he’s underestimated her. Maybe she did want a guy with a bit more confidence.

~
24. Use the right amount of confidence. Neither is too confident or too modest.
~

“I’m just glad you liked it,” he said and smiled. “I had a feeling, you know.”

She smiled even more. “True. But, I was really just here to say that… so I’ll just be going again. Thanks yet again, James.”

He nodded, “Bye then.”

Lily raised her hand at him as she walked back the way they’d just come from. James smiled to himself, grabbed a book and returned to the others, smiling wider than ever.

“Did you hear?” he asked excited. “She liked it!”

“That’s weird,” Peter mumbled.

James looked at him. “And why is that?”

He shrugged. “She’s not acting like the Lily Evans we know of. She’s never wanted anything from you.”

Remus nodded. “That’s right, especially when it’s such a deep and most likely slightly expensive gift.

“But why accept it now?” Peter asked. “It doesn’t make any sense. This is getting siriusly ridiculous,” he muttered, shaking his head.

“Oi, that’s just being plain mean!” Sirius exclaimed. “I thought we’d abolished that phrase!”

“Yeah, but then you tried to catch a bludger without a bat or gloves and we decided to bring back the lovely phrase,” Remus smirked.

“But the bludg-”

James hit his arm. “Shut up Padfoot!”

“But-”

“Ah!”

“But it’s true,” Remus said. “It doesn’t make any sense, thus its siriusly ridiculous.”

Sirius was about to protest against the phrase but James held up a hand to stop him. He nodded with a big smirk on his lips.

“She must like me!”

“Um.”

“I bet she likes me a lot.”

“Modesty is welcome, Prongs,” Sirius sulked.

James rolled his eyes. “Which reminds me… the list, Moony?”

“I don’t have the list,” Remus said with a shrug.

“I think it’s in the dorm,” Peter said.

James nodded. “Okay, I’ll write my new point later.”


*

I love feedback Translated to: go leave feedback! haha.

- Vicki

Hey! Okay, so this is the second last chapter! Only one more after this! Please leave feedback, I love hearing from you and would love to hear what you expect of the last three points?

*
But why would he burn down the castle?
October 22nd, morning.

“Okay, life hates us!” James declared as he’d just emptied his whole trunk on the floor.

Remus continued drying his hair with the towel, but looked at James. “And why is that?”

“The list,” – he held a dramatic pause – “is gone.”
“Um, what?”

James rolled his eyes. “I can’t find the list!”

Remus shrugged. “So?”

“I need the list!”

“Calm down, Prongs!” Sirius called from the bathroom. “We’ll make a new one.”

James sighed dramatically. “It won’t be the same. And what about the first points?”

“We can remember,” Remus said. “I’ll make it for you, okay?”

“But, but-!”

“Aaaand Prongs is overreacting again,” Peter said.

“I’m so not!”

“You have a tendency to do that,” Sirius said.

“Have so not!”

Sirius coughed, “Girl!” He coughed again.

James held up his hand. “Am not!”

“That’s what a girl would say too!” Peter exclaimed. “Now the only thing you need to do is gather your elbows and say, ‘But I have feelings too!’ and then break down in tears.”

“Yeah, do that, Prongs!” Remus laughed.

“You are no friends of mine!” James said, holding up a hand and then he stormed out.

“Wuss,” Sirius muttered as the door slammed.

“Girl.”

“Over-dramatic wuss-girl.”
“There’s no such word.”

“There isn’t?” Peter asked.

“I’m not sure,” Sirius said with a shrug. “But it fits him.”

October 22nd, noon.

“Okay, okay, so I overreacted.”

Remus nodded. “Yes, you did, Drama Queen. And I did write the list. Here!” He handed James the new list.

James quickly scanned it. “Oi, you’ve written a point more!”

~
25. Tell her she’s beautiful.
~

“Girls like that kind of stuff,” Remus mumbled with a shrug.

“Did that work on Evanna too?” James smirked.

Remus looked away stubbornly, “Maybe. Mind our own business.”


James looked upwards into the clear picture of the blue sky outside. Maybe…
He got up. “Okay, see you later!”

“Hey, where’re you going?” Remus grabbed James’ arm.

James shrugged his hand off. “Wherever Lily is!”

“He’s gone mad,” Remus muttered letting his head hit the table with a loud bang.

*A few minutes later in the Arithmancy class*

Sirius elbowed Peter. “Oi, Wormtail, look out of the window.”

Peter leaned across the table. “Isn’t that… Prongs?”

“What is he doing?”

“Flames?”

“Oh dear, but why would he burn down the castle?” Sirius shook his head.

“I think he’s writing.”

“With flames…”

“Oh Merlin, he’s so not!”

James’ running around the grounds, visible from the Arithmancy classroom seemed to catch another’s attention– Lily Evans’. Her eyes scanned the flames and James on the grounds, and her mouth fell wide open.
Sirius nudged Peter, nodding at Lily. Lily slowly raised both hands to the window, going crimson in the matter of one second.

“Is it embarrassment, anger, or affection for it?” Peter asked.

Sirius’ eyes fixed on Lily’s red cheek. “Embarrassment,” he decided.

As more of the class seemed to catch eye of the flames on the grounds, Lily slowly slid down her seat, trying to be unnoticed, but it didn’t work. Several heads turned to her, grinning. She put both her hands up in front of her face and groaned.
“Oh Merlin,” she whispered. “Why is he doing that to me?”

Peter looked at Sirius who looked back, “I’m sure he’s doing it wrong.”

“What?”
“Didn’t Moony tell you about the 25th point?”

“No?”

“Well, here we’ve seen what the 26th is going to be.”


~
26. Without overdoing it.
~

“What?” James exclaimed as Remus showed him the list; he’d just gotten back from the grounds. “That’s unfair!”

“It’s true,” Sirius said from across the table. “I’ve never seen Lily exit the class with such a speed.”

“It was actually a bit mean, Prongs,” Peter mumbled.

James face fell slightly. “Did I embarrass her?”

Sirius shrugged. “Just a lot.”

James groaned. “Aw, man. Where is she now?”

“In the library, maybe-” Remus offered. “I think she's…”

James had stalked away before Remus could continue. He rushed through the corridors, and then slowed down when he could see the doors to the library. The library was almost empty, and Lily sat at a table in the middle of it all.

Without a sound, James sat down at the table behind her. She hadn’t noticed him. Silently he found a piece of parchment, quill, and ink.

‘Sorry for the public display.’

He waved his wand at the parchment and it flew towards the table and landed in front of Lily, unfolding itself. He bent his head, though looking up through his hair. Lily looked around and just before her eyes found him, he looked down, pretending to work. When he was sure she looked away he looked back up. She was writing on the parchment. A moment later she waved her wand at the parchment and it flew back to him.

‘It’s okay. You’re only human.’

He smiled. Lily was truly one of a kind. Without another word he got up and hurried out of the library, the feeling of being watched following him all the way.

Maybe the whole day wasn’t a disaster after all.

October 24th, afternoon.

“So what you’re saying,” James said, throwing a little green ball towards the wall, catching it again as it bounced back to him, “is that I’m a lemming, and you’re just a dog?”

Sirius nodded. “Exactly.”

“What about Wormtail then?”

“Big bulky bear.”

“Moony?”

Remus looked up shortly from his book, but looked away again as he noticed the pointless discussion they had.

“A ferret.”

James shook his head. “You’re not making any sense, Padfoot.”

“Why not?” Sirius asked, frowning.

“Well, first of all we have proved that my inner animal is not a lemming. And that Peter’s not a bear. Second, this discussion is stupid. So are you.”

“Now you’re being mean.”

James was about to speak, but a girl cut him to it, “I like it!”

James spun around finding Lily behind him. “Huh?”

“I like the discussion. So, Sirius, what am I?” Her face showed no emotions at all and her lips were in a thin line.

Sirius frowned. “Um, you’re a penguin.”

“A penguin?” she repeated. “Why?”

He shrugged. “That’s just the way it is.”

“That’s stupid,” James said. “Lily’s a tiger or lion; Definitely something with claws.”

Sirius snorted. Lily on the other looked coldly at James. “I like the penguin.” Then she walked away.

Remus shook his head behind the book and Peter looked after Lily.

James looked at Sirius. “What’s gotten into her?”

“I don’t think she was in the mood for jokes.”

“Will you come up with another point now, Moony?”

Remus nodded.

~
27. Wait for the right moment with the funny lines.
~

“Do you think she was just in a bad mood or what?” James asked as Remus had written it down on the new list.

Remus nodded. “I bet she was.”

“Should I have seen that?”

“Yep.”

“Oh.”

“But it’s okay. You’re only human.”

“I’ve heard that way too much lately.” James crossed his arms, looking out of the window, “Okay, Padfoot, make me another animal. I don’t want to be a lemming!”

“A flobberworm!”

James shook his head. “Sometimes I don’t get why I’m friends with you.”

Sirius looked up, faking tears. “I’m hurt, James, I’m truly hurt!” He sobbed.

Remus and Peter snickered. James rolled his eyes and lay down in the couch, “Idiots.”


*

So? Feedback!

- Vicki

Hey! So here’s the last chapter! I’m really sad it’s already over, but it had to end sooner or later. I hope you’ve all enjoyed this short story and found it entertaining. Thanks to all my lovely readers and reviewers for the wonderful support, and thanks to my beta Jessica, who managed to get this whole story back to me within one week.

*

Didn’t you forget something?
October 27th, early noon.

“Two days, two days, two days…”

Sirius rubbed his forehead. “Won’t he ever stop?”

Fingers massaging his temples, Remus looked at him. “I don’t think so.”

“Two days, two days, two days…”

“Will it help if we hit him?” Peter muttered.

Remus shook his head. “I’m not sure he’d even notice.”

“Oh dear, sweet Merlin, save me,” Sirius groaned slumping back onto his bed.

“Two days, two days, two days…”

“I’ve had enough,” Sirius said at last. “I’m whacking him.”

And he did. Before James really noticed what was going on Sirius had jumped up from his bed and placed a flat hand at the back of James’ head. James flew forward and landed face first on the ground with a nasty sounding noise.

“Oi, that’s mean. I think you broke my nose!”

“But we are mean, aren’t we?” Remus grinned.

“We’re the Marauders,” Peter said matter-of-factly.

James sat up. He took a hand to his nose. “Ah, it’s not straight anymore!”

Remus rolled his eyes and pointed his wand at James. “Sit still.”

And James did. When his nose was fixed he looked at Sirius, “And why would you hit me?”

“Have you listened to yourself the last half hour?” Sirius asked. “The only thing you’ve said is ‘two days’, I mean, what’s that supposed to mean?”

“I know,” Remus said before James could answer, “Two days ‘til he’ll ask Lily on the date.”

“Exactly,” James exclaimed! “But I don’t think I’m ready.”

“Then become ready!” Peter sighed.

“How?”

Remus pulled the list from his drawer. “I’ve got a point, but I’m writing it in black and white so you won’t mess it up.”

“He has a tendency to do that,” Sirius laughed.

“Shut up, Padfoot,” James shot, “I don’t see you going to Hogsmeade with Abby.”

“I’ll ask her!”

“You’ve got… not so many days,” Peter said, not bothering to count.

“I’ll make it,” Sirius said confidently.

“Sure thing,” Remus mumbled and handed the list to James. “Here”

~
28. Make her feel wanted… in the good – non-sexual – way!
~

“And how am I supposed to do that?” James asked and let the list fall to the floor.

Remus shrugged. “No idea.”

“Great.”

“Oh, come on, Prongs, you usually have a lot of moments full of good ideas.”

“And now is not one of those moments.”

James, who still sat on the floor, placed his arms on the bed and put his head in his hands. “Okay then. Make her feel wanted…”

“Write her a poem!” Sirius said.

“I’m not very poetic,” James grunted and closed his eyes. “Oh, this is hell.”

“Why don’t you give it a try?” Remus asked. “It might work.”

“No! It’s “siriusly” ridiculous to even make me try!”

Sirius threw a pillow at James. “I want that phrase permanently removed!”

“Never happening,” Peter muttered.

“This is so hard,” James mumbled and got up. “I’ll work on this alone while practicing Quidditch.”

October 27th, afternoon.

James stopped outside the library at the sound of laughter. He recognized it as Lily’s and without another thought; he dropped his broom and entered the library.

He leaned against the bookshelf just behind Lily. Alison and Sarah saw him, but Lily still hadn’t. He didn’t know exactly what Alison said, but it sure did make Lily laugh again. Then she seemed to notice where Alison and Sarah’s gazes kept going and turned around.
“Oh, hi James,” she said lightly. “What brings you here?”

He shrugged. “Your laugh,” he said.

She blushed. “Um… Thanks?”

He chuckled. “You could always do it again.”

“I…” she looked away. “It doesn’t come on command.”

“Then I’ll just have to wait.”

“Or make me?” she looked at him in a daring way that suited her eyes were well.

“Yeah…” his voice trailed off.

“So?” she narrowed her eyes slightly, looking at him. “Was there anything else?”

“Just wanted to let you know that I’ll keep fighting for you,” he said and winked.

She looked away.

“Flattering, James,” she said, coolly. “Very flattering.”

“And now,” Alison said with a large grin, “I think you should leave James, before Lily goes hyperventilating.”

Lily still didn’t look at James. He smirked, “Will do. See you later girls.”

They waved at him as he exited the library without another word.

October 29th, late morning.

“How could I have been so stupid?” James exclaimed and hit a flat hand against his forehead.

Sirius shook his head. “I surely don’t know. But if you intend to be smart now, let me know, I need another friend then.”

Remus chuckled. “Prongs, what did you have in mind?”

“The list, Moony,”

“Yeah?”

“Can I have it?”

“Um, sure.” He found the list and handed it to James. “What are you thinking about?”

James grinned, wrote and then handled the list back over to Remus.



~
29. Let her know you think of her.
~

Remus clasped a hand against his forehead. “Oh, how could I forget one like that?”

“Is Moony going stupid now?” Peter asked. “Because it’s like the whole world has turned around then.”

Sirius looked horrified. “I don’t wanna be ugly!”

Peter and James laughed slightly while Remus shot them all glares. “This is serious!”

“So am I.”

Silence followed.

“That joke is “siriusly” ridiculous,” James said, making everyone but Sirius laugh.

“I’m going,” he said sourly and got up.

“You haven’t showered yet and class starts too!” Remus called.

Angry Sirius turned and stomped towards the bathroom. While the others began to get dressed James sat on the middle of his bed, thinking. Five long minutes later, he suddenly jumped up, waved his wand. Just then, Sirius excited the bathroom.

“What’s this?” he asked and pointed at the mass of flowers on the floor.

“74 lilies,” James smiled. One for each month I’ve known and loved Lily.”

“Wouldn’t it be better if you gave her one for each day?” Remus asked.

James’ face fell. “Yes, but I figured 2,250 lilies would be too much.”

“Did you count the leap years?”

“No,” James sighed. “2,252. And that’s even more lilies.”

Peter nodded. “I think 74 are fine.”

“So what will you do with them?” Remus asked.

James bit his lower lip. “Send them to her dorm while she’s at class.”

“How will you know her reaction?”

He shook his head. “I don’t know. We’ll have to wait and see.”

“Umm, Prongs?” Sirius asked, looking at the list.

James nodded. “Uh huh?”

“You’re at point 29.”

James’ eyes widened. “What?”

“It’s okay,” Remus said, “In fact I think you’re ready.”

“What about the 30th point?”

Remus grabbed the parchment.

~
30. In general, wait for the right moment.
~

“What?” James asked. “What can I use that for?”

Remus rolled his eyes. “It’s what girls want.”

“It’s weird, really,” Sirius said, eyes on Remus, “that you don’t have a girlfriend. You know like everything about them.”

Remus grinned. “I know what do to, but not how to do it.”

“But I do,” James said and got up. “Later, Marauders.”



October 29th, afternoon.

James sat tensely in the leaning chair, eyes on the staircase to the girls’ dorm. He knew Lily had gone up there, but she hadn’t come down just yet, but it had to be any second. Last class of the day started in ten minutes.

He had promised himself to ask her today, but would he even dare?

Just as that thought rushed through his head, Lily in fact did come down that stairs. She had a pink lily in her hand and two pieces of parchment. She stopped at the sight of James, holding up one parchment.

“So,” she said, “74 lilies, one for each month you’ve known me.”

James was glad he hadn’t written ‘and loved’. “Yeah,” he said.

She nodded and he got up, walking slowly towards her. She held up the other parchment, smiling slightly. “And,” she said, “The 30 Points Plan?”

“What?” he asked stunned.

She shrugged. “I found his in the common room a week or so ago. I assume it’s yours according to the title and the ‘written by’.”

“I’m not sure I know what you mean.”

“Okay then. R.J.L, S.B, P.P. and J.D.P.”

“How unlucky can you get?” he asked, trying to loosen her up. “Two of my initials rhyme.”

A smile fought its way to her lips. “They truly do, but at least it’s not Peepee.”

He grinned. “Yeah, I’m glad, but does the list really say so?”

She nodded. “Well, it says P.P, but if you say it quickly it becomes Peepee.” She shrugged, smiling.

He stuck his hands into his pockets. “So… I’ll just be going.”

He was about to turn around when she spoke up. “Didn’t you forget something?”

“No, what?” he asked with a frown.

She held up the list again, looking at it shortly and then smiling softly. “It’s called ‘The 30 Points Plan to make Lily Evans go on a date with you’.” “Well, I only have until point 24, but I assume you finished it?” He nodded. “Well, there is 30 points now, but you’ve still not asked.” She stopped smiling and raised an eyebrow in a daring way.

He suddenly blushed. “Um, do you want me to ask you?”

“You can always give it a try.”

“Err, would you go to me to Hogsmeade with me this Saturday?” he said and blushed even more.

She smiled again, holding up the list. “Only if this one stays in the tower.”

“I’m sure it does,” he said, suddenly smiling.

“Then I’ll go with you.”

“Great,” he exclaimed, and with a sudden rush of impulsivity he grabbed her and kissed her forehead. “See you!”

And then he ran off, leaving a stunned Lily Evans behind him. A Lily Evans he had a date with.
***


*

It’s over! Oh, dear. Please leave feedback, you’ve taken the time to read this through two weeks, you can take two minutes to tell me what you think of it. I love critic too! I’m particular interested in knowing if I’ve got any male readers and if they think I’ve done a good enough job, making the boys believable?

Thanks!

- Vicki