Hi all!
I'm posting a new fanfic now, since I'm kind of stuck with 'Your Beautiful Soul' at the moment. I got the basic plot for this story from Prodfoot so thanks very much you're amazing

1 - The Greatest Sorrow

James silently watched his family from his window. There they were, happy and unknowing. But then again who would ever know what the future would bring? His mother – Dorea – was reading the magazine ‘Witch Weekly’s’ and his father – Charlus – was enjoying a cool gillywater in the sun. Jeannie – his sister – eight years old and a ball of energy was running around trying to catch a golden snitch. James usually liked to show off by letting the snitch fly away, only to catch it a few moments later. Now Jeannie had been inspired by this, and could enjoy many hours just chasing the tiny golden ball. James was sure that some day she would become seeker on the Gryffindor Quidditch Team.

He silently sighed. There was his family. Seemingly perfect and untroubled. Well renowned in the wizarding world, and able to afford the best. Charlus Potter was employed by the Ministry as an auror, currently rising to become candidate for Head of the Auror Department, whenever the current Head chose to retire. Dorea Potter worked at the wizard bank Gringotts, and everyday she would stop by her good friend Violet’s shop in Diagon Alley for a spot of tea just before lunch. Jeannie spent the day at home playing, and the Potter family had a nanny hired to take care of her while they were at work. James went to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry almost all year, and was only home during holidays. Yes, the Potters all had their daily routines to tend to, but all in all they were a happy family, and no-one would ever suspect them of anything.

James was a 17-year old boy with jet-black messy hair. The hair had somewhat become a trademark of his, since it never ever lay flat. He wore glasses and played Quidditch like no-one else at Hogwarts. Many would envy him for his status at school. Girls were chasing him around, he was Gryffindor’s Quidditch hero and Captain, a good student and had just been made Head Boy to his own big surprise. Furthermore he was part of the most admired and feared group at Hogwarts: The Marauders.

Yep. The Marauders. Troublemakers and friends alike. Four boys all in their seventh and final year who had been friends from the very beginning at the Hogwarts Express. James Potter’s best friend and almost-brother was Sirius Black. A handsome boy with longish black hair which opposite James’ fell gracefully towards his shoulders. Sirius had been staying at James’ house for quite a while now, ever since his mother kicked him out of the house, for associating with muggle-borns, half-bloods and what she would call ‘blood-traitors.’ What a charming woman she was, that Walburga Black. Yet another Marauder was Remus Lupin. A slightly shabby-looking you boy with light brown hair and blue eyes. He was a brilliant student at Hogwarts, and James had been very surprised that he had been made Head Boy and not Remus. Remus was the reasonable one of the Marauders, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t up for a prank or two. The last one of the Marauders was Peter Pettigrew. He was the least handsome one of them. Peter was a slightly chubby boy, not very tall and with mousy-brown hair. He also weren’t as bright as the others, and was much easier unnerved. Though, for some reason unknown to all others he was a member of the coolest gang at school, and they fully accepted him as a good friend.

James smiled while thinking of his friends and all the happy moments they had spent together. He looked out of the window again, and saw Sirius poke Jeannie in the back and say something to her that he couldn’t hear, before picking her up and twirling her around in the air. She giggled audibly and Charlus and Dorea smiled at them. Jeannie caught James’ eye in the window and waved enthusiastically at him. He smiled at her and waved back, before going downstairs and into the garden himself.

“Hey Prongs, help me get this little energy ball to stay still for a moment before she gets a heart-attack” Sirius said while holding on to a struggling Jeannie, who had eyes only for the golden snitch still zooming around.
“You still haven’t caught that thing?” James asked her in mock disbelief – she had been chasing it for hours.
Jeannie shook her head violently and frowned at James. Sirius chuckled.

James observed the snitch for a few minutes. Once snitches were loose for a time without anyone trying to catch them, they became quite predictable. James quickly noticed how it constantly moved around in the same shape, like a planet in orbit around the Sun. After a few minutes of watching it he stepped forward and easily caught it in his right hand. He held it out for Jeannie to take.

“No fair” she pouted and took the snitch in her hands.
“Tell me again why you’re not our Seeker James?” Sirius asked referring to the Gryffindor Quidditch Team.
‘I like the excitement in being a chaser’ James said.
‘I love playing as beater. Especially when we’re playing against Slytherin’ Sirius grinned mischievously.

James grinned at his best mate. “This is life” he thought.
No worries. Just him and his family on a bright Summer day. The man who called himself Lord Voldemort – whose real name was Tom Riddle – was becoming increasingly dangerous. Ever since their first year at Hogwarts he had been gaining power all around Britain, and his powers were now reaching their peak. Voldemort had been recruiting heavily over the last few years, and overall new witches and wizards were following his lead, calling themselves the Death Eaters. But James knew that the good side was gathering followers as well, so there was still hope before the inevitable war would take it’s place.

Way too soon the holiday would come to an end, and school would soon be starting again. James loved Hogwarts, but the summers were always nice, because he had the chance to spend time with the Marauders outside of school, and just relax without any schoolwork that needed to be done.

School will become even tougher this year. I have to set up try-outs for the new Quidditch Team, we’ve got NEWTs this year and on top of it all Dumbledore made me Head Boy. What was that all about anyway? I’m known to be one of the biggest troublemakers at Hogwarts along with Moony, Wormtail and Padfoot. Well, mostly Padfoot. I mean, we must have the record for most detentions during a single school year by now.
Hmm, I wonder who the Head Girl will be? Please let it be someone normal. I won’t make it through this year if it’s someone like Bellatrix Black! Oh god I almost forgot! How could I forget?
Going back to Hogwarts means going back to Evans as well. She totally hates me. Thinks I’m acting like an idiot all the time. She doesn’t even realize how much I care about her. I wonder how many times Lily will slap me this year? Perfect. This is going to be one hell of a year.

James woke up from his momentary daze and saw that the sun was already setting. Dorea Potter called for dinner a few minutes later, and they all enjoyed her nice and steaming onion soup with bread.

But even though he liked spending time with his family at home, there was one catch. Every family had their own secrets and the Potter family was no excuse. James would never tell their secret to anyone, and he wasn’t even sure if anyone else apart from his father knew. Jeannie didn’t, that’s for sure, and his mother didn’t seem to know either. James had literally been dragged into the secret, and he would have to live with it forever. He could think of someone who would know, but he shuddered at the mere thought, and hoped nothing would ever bring them to their house. For right now they were just as happy as they looked on the family photo.

At the end of the day when Jeannie had gone to bed, James and Sirius sat in the living room playing wizard chess, while the Potters were watching TV. Ever since the man calling himself Lord Voldemort had come to what seemed the height of his power, the Potters were very interested in hearing how this affected the muggles. Charlus Potter had then gotten himself a TV, and after some bickering and trouble it now worked.
There were constantly many peculiar things happening in the muggle communities. Bridge’s were collapsing and bright lights would suddenly light up every window in one house, and the next day the family would be found dead. The muggles didn’t understand but every wizard did. James understood that the muggle Prime Minister actually knew. He had heard his father mentioning this to his mother - mentioning that the Minister for Magic had warned the muggle Prime Minister about Voldemort. The guys the muggles called “The Police” didn’t understand a thing. Crime scene investigators who usually solved the most utterly confusing crimes could not explain how an entire family could get murdered, while the door was locked from the inside. The pathologists couldn’t explain how they died, and convincing a whole country, that the third family in a row had died of natural causes all on the same night, was not only impossible, but it would also be utterly incomprehensible.
Everyone in the wizarding world were at a threat of suffering from the same fate, but James didn’t worry too much about it. Life was too short to be scared and worried all the time, and he had a strong feeling that nothing like this would ever happen to his family. It was something like this you always expected to happen to someone else but you, and for now James felt that he and his family were quite safe.

“So Prongs are you gonna win Evans over this year?” Sirius asked his best friend.
“Yep Padfoot. This is the year. Six years of chasing – I know it’ll work out this year” James flashed a grin.
“I just don’t see why you’ve wasted so much time on her. You could have anyone-“
“And I’ve already tried that. None of the other girls are like Lily. It has to be her.”
“Yeah alright” Sirius said, somewhat doubtful that James would succeed in winning her over this year. For Sirius it had kind of become some sort of ritual – James chasing Lily around. He couldn’t imagine life at Hogwarts with that part missing, so he fully appreciated that James would still try to get to her. But understanding why James would spend so much time on it? No, he couldn’t understand. “Girls are girls – what’s the difference?” he thought.

True, Sirius had never tried being in love. He’d always had a somewhat rough life. He was brought up in the Black family’s home – Grimmauld Place in London. A dodgy and sinister place. The whole house seemed to be cursed and evil, and you got in a bad mood just by stepping over the threshold. There he had spent many years of his life, listening to his parents and their pure-blood mania, with his brother and cousins hanging onto each word. He despised them all, and the happiest day of his life so far, had been the day he left home to stay with James. Unlike at his own house, he’d always been welcome at the Potters’, and James felt like his real brother – not Regulus. The only thing uniting Sirius and Regulus was blood.

“You gonna invite Moony and Wormtail over?” Sirius asked, taking James out of his trance.
“Yeah I thought about owling them tomorrow”
“Great. I can’t wait to plan new pranks and stuff like that”
James grinned at his friend and got that distinctive mischievous look in his eyes. Pranks. The best thing ever invented, and what kept the Marauders alive at Hogwarts – well Sirius and James at least. Remus wasn’t the type to ‘die’ because of five essays and a lot of spells and wand movements to practice, and Peter pretty much went with the flow. If James and Sirius were bored, he would be bored, and vice versa.
“I’ll have to plan a Hogsmeade trip quickly this year, so we can restock” James said.
“Oh yeah! Well at least there are some good things about you being Head Boy. But it’s still weird.”
The boys laughed and then Sirius left to go to his own room and get some sleep.

- - - -

For some unknown reason James kept tossing and turning in his sleep. He kept seeing imagines of horrible events, pictures he’d seen in The Daily Prophet and things he’d heard on the news. Suddenly he woke up, feeling inside that something was wrong. Somehow he knew it had nothing to do with his dreams or imagination. Something was definitely wrong.

James walked the halls of the Mansion, not finding anything out of it’s normal state, and he’d just started to relax and decided to go back to his own room to sleep when he noticed something.

Jeannie’s door was open. Just a bit but still – it was open. That wasn’t normal. Jeannie never wanted her door to be open – something about boogey-men hiding in the hall and sneaking in on her if the door was open.
James carefully and silently approached the door, trying to catch any sound coming from inside the room. When he was just about to enter he heard someone from inside the room – a man’s voice – bellow:

“Avada Kedavra!”

“NOO!” James screamed and ran into the room. He saw his own and safe world crashing down upon him. He felt as though his heart was ripped from his body while being pierced by several knifes. There in front of him stood a man dressed in black ropes wearing a mask – a Death Eater – and beside him on the floor lay Jeannie. Eyes wide open and glassy, and her mouth open as in a silent gasp.

“Say hello to you dear father, won’t you Potter?” the Death Eater said in a voice James thought he somehow recognized. Then, with a twirl of his ropes, the Death Eater apparated out of the room.

James sank down on his knees in front of his sister’s lifeless form. Unable to truly comprehend what had just happened. Tears welled up in his eyes, just as he heard steps thundering down the hall, and a few seconds later Charlus, Dorea and Sirius stormed into the room, all with their wands raised.

“It’s too late” James croaked in a strange, distant voice he could not recognize as his own.
Dorea Potter instantly dropped her wand and fell to the floor in front of her now dead daughter, sobbing uncontrollably. Sirius started crying as well and gave James a brotherly hug, while James looked over Sirius shoulder to see his father’s face. His eyes locked with his father’s, and James knew what he saw. He saw both shock, grief, sadness and guilt. Shock, grief and sadness because of the death of a beloved daughter, and guilt because-. No. No-one was supposed to know. The secret had to be kept.

* * * *

“Is the deed done?” a cold voice asked from behind the back of an armchair.
“Yes, my Lord.” the Death Eater in the room answered with a hint of pride in his voice.
“Do not sound so pleased with yourself. This was only phase one. Much more important things will have to be done now. You must understand, that this mission mustn’t fail” the voice retorted.
“I understand, my Lord. Your wish is my command.”
“I have no further use of you at the moment, but soon you and your friends will be a most valuable source to me. The young Potter boy will be devastated by now, and the right time to strike is coming.”
“You can trust us. We will provide you with all information needed for you to perform this task. We are very grateful that you are letting us help you, my Lord” the man said.
“Help? I do not need help!” the voice taunted.
“Of course not, my Lord! I only meant that we are grateful that you are using us for such an honorable task as this one. It is an ingenious idea I must say, my Lord.” the voice said now sounding a bit intimidated.
“Yes it is. Soon that boy will live in his own worst nightmare.” Lord Voldemort said as he turned around and smiled at his follower. His once blue eyes entirely red now, and seemingly unstoppable.

* * * *

The mood at the Potter’s the following day was no good. You’d find more cheer in a graveyard. James was sitting alone in his room, just staring at the wall. Sirius had also been unusually quiet all day, and Dorea kept succumbing into new tears. Sirius comforted her each time, since James was in his room, and Charlus had – like James – been in his study all day. After hours of just sitting there, James heard a knock on the door. He merely grunted and his father entered. He locked the door behind him and cast a silencing charm.

“You do realize why I can’t do anything to get revenge right?” Charlus asked.
James just nodded and kept staring into the wall.
“James I feel just as bad as you do, will you please talk to me?”
“And what do you want me to say?! That it’s all okay, and it doesn’t affect me to be living on a lie? Well it’s not okay, and I feel completely lost! The Death Eater told me to say ‘hello’ to you by the way. I don’t know how much longer I can stand this, dad.” James said sounding deeply let down.
“You cannot tell anyone. The secret will have to remain a secret, or else we’ll both be goners! Do you understand me James? No matter what you can NOT tell anyone!” his father said aggressively.
“And who’s fault is that?! Maybe if you’d actually put what is right before what is easy nineteen years ago, we’d never have been in this situation! You know it won’t stop dad. He wants revenge.”
“Don’t you think I feel guilty for what has happened? I feel completely horrible! But for now we can’t do anything. I’ll try to find a way out of this. You must promise to keep quiet.”
“Of course I’ll keep quiet. I don’t exactly have much of a choice.” James said resigned.

- - - - -
That was chapter 1. What do you think? I know it's dark and sad, but it's all part of the plot. Thanks again to Prodfoot for the amazing help, and please leave feedback!

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Hi all!
Thanks to Prodfoot for the comment and the help with the plot, and thanks to dewet_pdw88, JSB 073 and Alonnet for comments!

2 - Nothing but everything has changed

Unfortunately for James and Sirius they had to leave for Hogwarts three days later. The days following Jeannie’s death had been very similar. James denied to leave his room and his mother put his meals outside the door. He didn’t eat much of it. Only the Potters’ closest family and the Aurors at the Ministry knew of Jeannie’s death, but James knew that tomorrow would change that. Tomorrow would be a Monday, and then the Ministry would post a notice of the attack in The Daily Prophet. Now both of the boys were going away, and for the first time in seven years, not one of them wanted to. The day should have been a nice day, with James and Sirius meeting up with their friends again, and then the Marauders would be sharing their usual compartment and spending their time on the train catching up with each other and eating snacks.

Dorea Potter was very reluctant to let the boys go. James was her son – her blood-related son – but Sirius was also her son. He had been the Potters’ second son for a long time, and Sirius felt more at home at the Potter Mansion that at Grimmauld Place. Dorea knew she had to let the boys go and that they would be safe at Hogwarts with Albus Dumbledore as Headmaster, but in times like these the thing she wanted the most was to keep her family together. Charlus Potter was also sad to let the boys go, but he seemed to be preoccupied by other matters. Only James knew of them of course, but Sirius thought something had changed in Charlus the last couple of days. He didn’t think much about it though, because he figured it all came down to losing Jeannie.

“Stay safe boys. And write to me – promise you’ll write!” Dorea said while hugging each of them in turn.
“We’ll write don’t worry” James said while being hugged what seemed like the hundredth time.
“Yeah we’ll write. And I’ll look after little Jamesie for you” Sirius said and Mrs. Potter gave a watery chuckle.

“Stay safe – and don’t send us any more toilet seats” Charlus said attempting to cheer up the mood.
James and Sirius both laughed, feeling slightly better now. They said goodbye to the Potters and boarded the train, searching it until they reached their usual compartment.

“Padfoot, Prongs!” Remus and Peter yelled and greeted their friends.
“Hi Moony, Wormtail” Sirius said happily and James greeted the others weakly.
Immediately Remus thought something was wrong with James reaction. He was usually the loudest one of them – maybe except for Sirius, and now he seemed so… down. Remus gave Sirius a questioning look but Sirius sent both Remus and Peter a look that clearly said ‘not now.’

They spent most of the train ride catching up with each other, although James spoke very little. Sirius attempted to cheer him up without being too obvious, but without any luck. Sirius dealt better with the pain of losing Jeannie than James did. Sirius had toughened up a lot while living with his real family. He’d listened to their plotting and heard them talk about Voldemort a lot, and he’d lost a lot of family members. Sadly, all of them someone he liked. There had been very few in the Black family that Sirius liked, and somehow all of them had ended up dead. They just didn’t share the family values – much like Sirius. Even though it killed him to think of Jeannie, he already tried moving on and succeeded much better than James did. Sirius believed you had to move on as quickly as possible, and focus on the life ahead of you – not dwelling in the past. He figured James would get over it eventually. After all it had only been a few days. The grief was still too close.

“Prongs aren’t you supposed to be in the Prefects’ compartment?” Remus said catching James’ attention.
“What? Oh yeah I totally forgot!” he said and went out the door quickly.

Out in the hallway he looked at his watch. He wasn’t supposed to be there until 5 minutes from now so he wasn’t late. Thank god. If there was something he didn’t need right now, it was being told off by the Head Girl – whoever that was. He went inside the compartment seeing all the Prefects looking up at him as he opened the door, and then he caught sight of the Head Girl. No way. Not Lily Evans.

* * * *

“Sirius what is the matter with him?” Peter asked Sirius.
“And you! You seem pretty messed up as well” Remus added.
“I can’t tell you. Sorry guys but I think it’s James who should tell you this” Sirius said, not at all feeling good about hiding stuff from his friends, but he thought James should pick the time to tell their friends about Jeannie.
“Alright, you have your reasons I’m sure” Remus said looking at his friend concernedly.

* * * *

It couldn’t be. With all these other problems hanging over his head he had to face Head duties with Lily Evans as well. Had his situation been different he would’ve been thrilled at the prospect of spending more time with her, but at the moment, he really didn’t want to face her, as it would only ever lead to slapping and yelling.
Just get this over with as quickly as possible.

All of the female Prefects were smiling at him and fluttering their eyelashes. Lily was looking at him in a mixture of mild interest and pure loathing.Great. She doesn’t even realize I’m Head Boy. She’s just wondering what I’m doing here. Maybe I should have put on the badge. Try to think for once, James.

“And what exactly are you doing here, Potter?” Lily Evans asked impatiently. “I’m not going out with you!” she added hastily, as if thinking that would be the only reason for him to enter the compartment. The female Prefects sent her looks that clearly said ‘are you insane’ but Lily had never liked him.
“Head Boy” James mumbled silently and fastened the badge to his cloak.
“What?” the Head Girl said silently, not believing what she was hearing.
“Yeah. Head Boy.” James continued. “Look, this is Lily Evans and I’m James Potter. We’re apparently this year’s Head Girl and Boy. As Prefects your job is to help the younger students – try being some sort of a role model for them – inform your House when the password for your common room has changed, and patrol the corridors at times. You are allowed to hand out detentions, but you can’t take away points so there’s no point in trying. Don’t let your friends get away with everything, but treat them as you would all others. The Head Girl will hand out the passwords to Gryffindor, Hufflepuff and Slytherin, while you Ravenclaws will continue with your usual drills. You’ll also be receiving patrolling nights. See you around.” James said and left the compartment before Lily managed to get even one word out. He just wanted to get away.

Lily was shocked. Not only was Potter Head Boy but he’d not made even one snide comment or one single joke. He hadn’t asked her out. Asking her out was usually something he did on a daily basis. And preferably – from his side – more than once a day. He’d just made his ‘Head Boy speech’ like it was something he had memorized from a book and then left, not even bothering to look at her. Lily was utterly confused at his behavior. She handed out the passwords and patrolling schedules, excused the Prefects and were off. She wanted to find out what on earth that was all about.

* * * *

James didn’t return to the Marauders’ compartment, but found another one. An empty one. He drew the blinds and sat down, immersed in his own thoughts. This is not going to be a good year, he thought.

* * * *

Lily walked into her own compartment to find her two best friends, Vanina Hamilton and Emily Stewart sitting there chatting merrily. They looked up at Lily when she entered the compartment.
“Wow that didn’t take long” Vanina said referring to the meeting.
“Never mind that, what’s wrong with Potter?” Lily asked.
“Do you want me to make a list? You’ve told us several ‘wrongs’ about him” Emily said amused.
“No seriously something has changed in him” Lily said perplexed.
“What do you mean something has changed?” Emily asked interestedly.

Lily proceeded to telling them about the meeting.

“Okay that’s pretty odd considering it’s Potter we’re talking about” Vanina said.
“Yeah. But he must have his reasons. It’s probably nothing” Emily said reassuringly.
“Maybe you’re right. But I still need to see him about something Dumbledore wrote in the letter for us. He left before I had a chance to show it to him” Lily said, annoyed at the prospect of having to face the Marauders.
“Oh alright. We’ll go with you so you don’t have to face them alone” Vanina said.

* * * *

“Moony how long does those Prefect meeting thingies take?” Sirius asked his friend.
“Hmm not too long. It should have been over by now” Remus answered his friend while looking at his watch.
Sirius looked concernedly at the door to the compartment, just as it slid open. He was prepared to see James standing there, but instead Lily Evans, Vanina Hamilton and Emily Stewart stood there looking at them.
That was strange. That group usually never talking to the Marauders – courtesy of Evans.

“Can I help you” Sirius said in a mock nonchalant voice.
“Where’s Potter?” Lily said cutting right to the chase.
“I don’t know. Probably with the Head Girl and company doing something boring” Sirius answered indifferently.
“No he’s not with me or the Prefects” Lily retorted.
“You’re Head Girl?” Peter asked cutting into the conversation.
“Yes Pettigrew I am. If you see Potter tell him I want to speak to him. Bye Remus” Lily said and walked out.

“Bye Remus” Sirius said imitating her voice once she was out of ear-shot.
“What is it you have that makes her accept you but not Prongs? I don’t get girls.”
“Where is Prongs anyway?” Remus asked ignoring his friend’s question.

* * * *

James sat in his compartment when there was a knock on the door. He didn’t answer. He didn’t want to speak to anyone at the moment. He thought seeing his friends would cheer him up but somehow he only felt worse.

“James open the damn door or I’ll blast it open!” he heard Remus yell through the door.

Sighing James got up and slowly unlocked the door, allowing his three friends to enter. Remus had said ‘James’ which meant he was serious about blasting the door open. Sirius entered and gave him a look that clearly stated, that Remus and Peter still didn’t know about Jeannie. James felt this to be the right time to tell them. He didn’t want them to find out when The Daily Prophet would deliver the news the next day.

Remus and Peter looked at him concernedly, while Sirius looked pretty uncomfortable being there.

“Prongs what’s wrong?” Remus asked once again.
“Promise you’ll keep quiet about this? I don’t want everyone to know just yet. And they will all know tomorrow anyway” James said sadly.
“Of course we promise Prongs, we’re your friends you can trust us” Peter said.
“Thanks Wormtail.” James said and then proceeded to telling the whole story.

“Wow James I’m so sorry” both Peter and Remus said simultaneously.
“Yeah thanks. It’s okay. I’ll be okay just give me some time” James answered.
“Of course Prongs. We’re here for you mate” Sirius said clapping his friend on the back.
“Did you say you kind of recognized the Death Eater?” Peter asked.
“I though I could somehow recognize his voice. But I’m not sure.”
Peter nodded solemnly and Remus said:
“Don’t worry Prongs. We’ll find out who did it and they’ll pay”
James gave his friends a weak smile.
“By the way this may not be the best time, but Evans is looking for you” Sirius said.
“Oh no. Anything particularly important?” James asked exasperatedly.
“Something about a letter for the both of you from Dumbledore.”
“That’ll have to wait. I don’t need a discussion with Evans right now.”

The other boys nodded and they changed the subject to talk about anything and everything other than Jeannie or Death Eaters. James’ mood had clearly lifted a bit when they were nearing the castle, and after changing into his robes he felt strangely elated. When he saw the castle he knew why though. No matter how great it had been at his own house, Hogwarts had always held a special meaning to him, and it was his second home – his refuge.

* * * *

“Lils why are you so worried about Potter anyway?” Vanina asked her.
Lily was still sitting with a frown on her face looking out of the window so Vanina thought something was up.
“Do you like him?” Emily asked, knowing she was beyond danger point but smiling anyway.
“No I don’t! I just don’t get this sudden change!” Lily said, truthfully.
“Yeah me neither. His mates were almost the same. Something is fishy.” Vanina said.
“Oh look we’re already almost there. We’d better change into our robes then” Emily said pointing out of the window towards the approaching silhouette of Hogwarts.

* * * *

James was paying no attention whatsoever to the sorting of the new students, but merely clapped when everyone else did. He didn’t like watching the first years, since all the girls reminded him of Jeannie. She would have been in their place in just three years time. She’d been so excited about going to Hogwarts some day. How could the world be so unfair? Why hadn’t it been him who had died, and not his baby sister?

Because you have to find out who did it, and beat the life out of him.

So it would seem. But the only clue he had was the vaguely known voice of the Death Eater.
Suddenly Dumbledore started his speech. James had barely noticed that he’d eaten anything, he had been to immersed in his own thoughts. Now he tried giving Dumbledore his full attention.

“Welcome everyone, and the very best of evenings to you!” Dumbledore said, smiling broadly, with wide open arms as though he was embracing the entire Great Hall.
“To our new students, welcome; to our old students, welcome back! Another year full of magical education awaits you. Now, I have been asked by Mr. Pringle, our caretaker, to say that there is a blanket ban on any joke items bought at the shop Zonko’s.”

This is where the Marauders would usually laugh and exchange smirks, but none of them did this year. Something that didn’t go unnoticed by the other Gryffindors, who exchanged confused looks.

“Those wishing to play for their house Quidditch teams should give their names to their Heads of House as usual, and then the Quidditch Captains will schedule times for try-outs. The Captains are James Potter for Gryffindor, Gwenog Jones for Ravenclaw, Simon Fletcher for Hufflepuff and Duncan Flint for Slytherin. Please notice that we are also looking for Quidditch commentators, who should give their names to their Heads of House as well.”

“Now, as everybody in this Hall knows, Lord Voldemort and his followers are at large and gaining strength. We have enforced the castle’s magical fortifications over the summer. Still, you must abide by any security restriction given to you by a member of staff, however irksome you might find them. New students should note, that it is particularly forbidden to be out of bed after hours – a rule some of our older students should try to remember as well.” he said looking directly at the Marauders. None of them smiled and he gave them a weird look.

“Our new Head Girl and Boy this year are Lily Evans and James Potter from Gryffindor. If you have any questions regarding rules or the first years have any other questions, you can go to them for advice.”

“James Potter?”
“The James Potter?”

Whispers emerged everywhere around the Hall at the sound of James’ name being called. No one could believe that the well known Marauder and troublemaker James Potter was the new Head Boy. James seemed oblivious to this sudden attention towards him, as he was still staring blankly up at Dumbledore. This didn’t go unnoticed either, since James usually never missed a chance to promote himself. Lily, Emily and Vanina all looked strangely at each other. Lily was becoming increasingly annoyed, and she really wanted to find out what was wrong.

“Yes I did say James Potter, and I believe Mr. Potter will make an excellent Head Boy, because if I believed anything else I wouldn’t have chosen him for the job. Now, Ms. Evans and Mr. Potter, I would like to see you in my office in a few minutes for some notices.”

“Well now your beds await all of you, nice, warm and comfortable as always. The first years should please follow your House Prefects to your dormitories. Off you go!” Dumbledore finished.

James really didn’t enjoy the idea of having to go to the Headmaster’s office. He just wanted to go to his Dorm and sleep. He felt exhausted even though he hadn’t exactly done much that day. He got up and bid the Marauders goodbye before heading towards the Headmaster’s office. When he reached the top of the marble staircase he heard a voice shouting his name:

“Potter – wait up!” he turned around to see Lily Evans running up the stairs.
“What?” he asked a bit rude. He didn’t mean to be rude though. His feelings about her hadn’t changed and he couldn’t help but admire her beauty for a minute, before she answered him.
“Err – I don’t know where Professor Dumbledore’s office is” she said sounding a bit embarrassed.
“I didn’t expect you to. You never get into trouble.” he said with a small smile.
“Unlike you James” she said grinning at him.
James gave her a strange look and Lily’s face quickly changed color:
“I mean, unlike you Potter” she said looking at the floor.
“Come on – let’s go to the office” James said and lead the way.

Lily’s thoughts:

Okay what the hell happened just now? I called him bloody James and we actually had a normal conversation. That’s so not normal! Well, he’s not normal right now so that’s probably why. I wonder what’s bothering him? Hmm hopefully I’ll find out soon enough. How embarrassing that I don’t even know where Dumbledore’s office is. Yes I’ve never been sent there or anything, but the Head Girl should know this stuff. Nice Lily, really nice!

End of Lily’s thoughts.

The rest of the walk to the Headmaster’s office was spent in silence, with each of them immersed in their own thoughts. When they arrived outside the office by the stone gargoyle Lily got a bit frustrated.

“No – we don’t know the password! It could be anything! Why didn’t he tell us?” she said.
“He probably expects me to figure it out, since I’ve been here so many times” James said and continued.
“Err let’s see..” he began, but Lily interrupted him.
“What are you talking about? It could be anything!”
“Just chill and let me think for a second.”
Lily was silent and James thought for a second before smiling and then he said:
“Liquorice wands”
The gargoyle swung open and he stepped forward. Lily looked at him completely dumbstruck. He just grinned and stepped unto the moving stairs. After a few seconds Lily followed suit.

“Ahh James you figured out the password! I expected you to” Dumbledore said beaming at them.
“Well just before the end of term the password was Lemon Drops, and I remember that last time the password was Lemon Drops you changed it to Liquorice Wands after that” James said.
“And too right you are James. Now please sit down both of you.”

Lily looked all around the office. It was simply amazing. She had never seen anything quite like it before. She also noticed that Dumbledore called James by his first name, and not Mr. Potter as every other teacher did. It stood clearly that James had been in this office quite a few times. Even the Headmaster’s bird seemed to recognize him and flew down onto James’ knee as soon as he sat down.

“So, all I really wanted to say was congratulations on becoming Head Girl and Boy, and I think you’ll make a great pair. – As Head Girl and Boy I mean” he added when he saw the looks he received from both James and Lily, but Lily couldn’t help but notice that there was a strange twinkle in his eyes.
“I chose you because we need someone with strong leadership abilities, and someone who are willing to stand up for others in these times of trouble. Now I will show you to your Dorm so you can get some sleep.”

James started. He had totally forgotten that the Head Girl and Boy shared a Common Room and Dorm for themselves. By the look on Lily’s face, she too had forgotten all about it.
Dumbledore lead them down several corridors, and finally they stopped in a corridor on the seventh floor. There was a big mahogany door which James had never noticed before and it held the inscription:

Head Dorm
Lily Evans
James Potter

“The password is Golden Snitch” he told them and the door opened immediately.
This only made James feel bad once again. As soon as Dumbledore said the password, a picture of Jeannie holding the Golden Snitch in her tiny fist entered his mind. He shook his head and entered the Dorm.

It was a magnificent room. Red and gold like the Gryffindor Common Room, and the same size although they were only two people. On the left side of the room there were two desks and bookcases, suitable for working with homework, and on the right side was a fireplace, two armchairs, a couch and a little coffee. On the floor in front of them was a carpet with the Gryffindor crest, and there were four notice boards on the left wall. Both Lily and James seemed momentarily stunned by the room, as it was only theirs.

“You see the notice boards over here?” Dumbledore said, gesturing towards four notice boards. One was red, one was blue, one was yellow and one was green. The house colours James thought.
“A protean charm has been placed upon them, so any notices you want to post on each House’s board you can post here, and they will see it too. James, you’ve got one in your room as well which connects with the one in the Gryffindor Common Room meant for Quidditch notifications.” James nodded.

“Well this is it. James, I wonder if I could have a word with you outside?” Dumbledore asked.
“Yes sure” James said and followed Dumbledore back out of the door.
“James I must say, that I couldn’t help but notice a drastic change in you and your friends’ behaviour during the feast. Your mood seems to be very down. Is there something you wish to tell me?”
James looked at his Headmaster, knowing that if he wished to he could tell the old man anything. He didn’t want to though. He couldn’t bear to have to tell the story for the second time today, and Dumbledore along with the rest of the staff and students would know tomorrow when the post owls arrived anyway.
“No sir, nothing” James merely said.
Dumbledore studied him for a few seconds before saying:
“Very well then. Off you go.” and James went inside again.

* * * *

Lily saw James and Dumbledore leave the room and frowned. He was definitely hiding something. She shrugged and turned towards the three other doors in the room. One said Lily and one said James. She went inside the room with her name on – on the right hand side – and gasped.

Inside was a big four poster bed with a light purple bedspread. The walls were light green, and the bed, window sills and doors were made of mahogany. There was a walk-in-closet beside the window and a door which Lily assumed lead into the bathroom. The window had a view over the grounds – the lake, the Whomping Willow and the beech tree they always sat under by the lake. There was also a fireplace with fluffy pillows on the floor in front of it, a bedside table with pictures of her friends and family, a bookcase, a table with three chairs and then a magnificent picture. It was right in front of her bed. A picture of Hogwarts Castle and grounds. Under it lay a note that said, that the picture would change as the seasons did. So in the winter it would show a snow covered Hogwarts. Lily loved her room, and then went to the other door to check out the bathroom.

* * * *

James went back inside, annoyed that yet another one had asked him what was wrong. He had noticed when he looked at Lily, that she was definitely close at asking him too, but he suspected her pride told her not to. She had after all hated him completely the last six years, so it wouldn’t come natural to her to actually care. He was only happy she didn’t ask. James couldn’t see Lily anywhere, so he supposed she was inside her room, and he went into his own to check it out.

The room held a four poster bed with a red bedspread, and the walls were also both red and gold. The Gryffindor colours decorated his room. There was a walk-in-closet, and another door which James assumed lead into the bathroom. There were Quidditch posters on the walls, and also pictures of his friends and family, along with a big picture of the Gryffindor Quidditch Team. As promised there was a notice board dedicated to Quidditch, and James had also gotten another board on which he could plan match formations and training sessions, and a closet for his broom. There was a window with a view of the Quidditch Pitch and there was a chair beside the window. There was also a fireplace, and a table with four chairs around it. James looked up and saw that the entire ceiling was one big painting of Quidditch players zooming around.

He smiled. It was definite that whoever decorated this room knew him well. Gryffindor and Quidditch. Then he noticed something else floating around in the room.

It was golden orbs. At first he didn’t understand why golden orbs were floating around, but then it hit him. It was moons. The lunar cycle. An easy way for him to know when Remus would transform into a werewolf.
Oh yes, the person who decorated this room definitely knew him well.

James turned around and walked towards the other door in the room, to check out the bathroom. It was a huge bathroom with two showers, two sinks and a large bathtub, the same size as a normal swimming pool. Just as he wondered why there were two showers and two sinks, another door opened at the other side of the room. It was Lily who poked her head inside, and her eyes widened when she saw James. James played it cool:

“How’s it going Evans?” he said with a slight smirk.
“Just don’t you dare walk in on me Potter!” she said and left the room again.

* * * *

The next morning James woke up just about eight o’clock and started dressing. Just when he was about to go down to breakfast he realized why he didn’t feel well. Today The Daily Prophet would bring the story.

Lily was already down by the breakfast table with her two friends, when the Marauders walked in. Except for James who was apparently still in the Head Dorm. She sat down and began to eat her breakfast just as the post owls arrived. Hundreds of owls flew down to their owners or just the receivers of their letter and packages. Lily saw the Marauders exchange worried looks as the owls flew in, and she didn’t understand. A few moment after the owls had delivered the mail, Lily heard Vanina gasp as she saw the headline of The Daily Prophet. She had a grim look on her face as she showed it to Lily and Emily:

JEANNIE POTTER MURDERED

The Daily Prophet has received intelligence that the youngest member of the Potter family – eight year old Jeannie – was killed during the night five days ago. The Potter family is well renowned in the wizarding world, with Charlus Potter working as an Auror and Dorea Potter working at Gringotts. We don’t know much about the circumstances, but we know that Jeannie Potter was killed at the Potter Mansion by a Death Eater, in front of her older brother James Potter. A devastated James Potter is currently attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry as a seventh year Gryffindor. The Ministry of Magic will be performing a full scale investigation of the murder. Our thoughts at The Daily Prophet go to the Potter family and the deceased, Jeannie Potter.

Lily gasped and looked at the others when she had read the article. They had the same looks on their faces as she had. So that was why James and the other Marauders had been acting so out of normal. The whole Hall had erupted into talking about the murder, and many looked at the Marauders – James had still not joined them.
Lily looked up at the staff table, and was shocked to see the teachers all looking confused and shocked. Lily had expected Dumbledore to know about it, since he always seemed to know everything. He was currently in a hushed conversation with Professor McGonagall. That’s when James walked in.

The Hall got very quiet when people caught sight of James. Even the teachers stopped their conversations to look at him. James knew it would be like this and tried his best to ignore their stares. He made it over to the Marauders and picked up the newspaper lying on the table. Sirius tried to grab it from his grasp but James was too fast. After looking at the newspaper he immediately regretted picking it up. He tossed it back onto the table with tears blinding his eyes, turned on his heel and left the quiet Hall.

It wasn’t the article in itself, it was what was below it. Below it was a picture of James and Jeannie. James was twirling a laughing Jeannie through the air while she was laughing an clutching a Golden Snitch in her hand. James was grinning at her and placed a kiss on her forehead before twirling her around again.

- - - - -

Alright so that was chapter 2! It's pretty long, but I hope you like it! Please leave comments it's really appreciated! Feedback

Sorry for the long wait. First I was really slow then I was away for about a week with no internet connection at all! This chapter isn't very long, because it's sort of a build-up for the next couple of chapters. Many thanks to Prodfoot for helping out with the plot, and thanks to DEMONTORSKiSS XOXO, agriggs6, PrisonerOfAzkaban and Prodfoot for the nice feedback - you guys rock!
Now, on with the chapter.

3 - "You Cannot Hide"

James rushed out of the Hall, away from all the faces staring at him. After watching him disappear out of the door, all of the Marauders stood up at the same time, preparing to follow him. Sirius looked at the others and lifted his hand, gesturing for Remus and Peter to sit down again. They did and Sirius left to find James.

A little while later they came back into the Hall, and James reluctantly sat down and started to eat some pancakes. Remus had disposed of all the newspapers on the Gryffindor table, and that had not been a problem, since none of the Gryffindor liked seeing their Head Boy and Quidditch Captain in this state. Suddenly someone from behind hissed James’ name:

“Oi, Potter!” James turned around and saw Lucius Malfoy and his friends looking at him.
“Nice photo Potter, what a pretty little girl she was.” Bellatrix Lestrange said and the other Slytherins grinned.
“Pity she was a blood-traitor at such a young age though.” Avery said.

That ticked James off. He stood up and drew his wand, prepared to curse Lucius Malfoy into the oblivion, but just as he silently said the spell, a shield charm expanded through the Great Hall. James, annoyed, looked after the source of the charm and saw Albus Dumbledore standing up, wand raised and clearly the one who’d cast the charm. Beside him Professor McGonagall was sitting, looking very anxiously at the scene in front of her. Dumbledore bent down and whispered something to her, before leaving the Great Hall through a door behind the staff table.

“Potter.” Professor McGonagall said and gestured for him to come forward.
James walked up to the staff table and McGonagall placed a soothing hand on his shoulder.
“The Headmaster wants to speak to you, Potter” she said looking at him concernedly.
James merely nodded and left the Hall through the same door Dumbledore did.
“You know, we’re actually lucky that Dumbledore did that shield charm.” Sirius said.
“Yeah, I doubt Prongs were thinking of casting a body-bind charm.” Remus answered.
“He’s capable of most anything when he’s angry.” Peter added lastly.
“And we wouldn’t want him to end up in Azkaban.” Sirius finished.

Lily were looking at the door James had disappeared through with the same look as that on McGonagall’s face. She heard the Marauders talking, and really couldn’t see James being capable of casting an unforgivable curse. He often hexed the Slytherins, but James Potter would never use an unforgivable curse, would he?

* * * *

James followed Dumbledore through the door behind the High Table, and Dumbledore took him through a shortcut to his office. He sat down in front of the Headmaster’s desk and looked into those calm, blue eyes, which now looked to be full of concern. James was annoyed. He didn’t need people to be concerned and feel sorry for him – he needed to get his revenge. Somehow.

“Why didn’t you tell me about your sister?” Dumbledore asked calmly.
“I didn’t want to talk about it” James answered curtly, not meeting Dumbledore’s eyes.
“Sometimes it’s best to talk about it James. It may be the best way to move on”
“I don’t want to move on! I want revenge!” James answered angrily and glared at his Headmaster.
“I understand your fury. It’s never easy to loose a loved one”
“How would you know!?”
“I know more about it than you think.”

James found it annoying that Dumbledore could keep so calm. He didn’t even feel like staying at Hogwarts at the moment, but wanted to be with his family. Especially his mother. He wouldn’t be able to live it out if something happened to her. And thinking of the secret, James realized that she would be the most wanted Potter now that Jeannie was gone. The mere thought sickened him.

“I wanted to talk to you about your duties this year” Dumbledore continued.
“What duties?” James asked feeling completely blank.
“You’re Quidditch Captain and Head Boy” Dumbledore said looking at him.
“Oh. Yeah you’re right”
“Can you manage both in the present situation? Or do you want to be relieved of one of your posts?”

James looked at Dumbledore oddly. Did he want to give up being captain or Head Boy? Surely no-one had ever done that before had they? Even though he didn’t feel like staying at Hogwarts, he knew he had to. It’s a good thing to keep your enemies close, and James had a feeling that many of the answers he was looking for could be found at Hogwarts. Also, doing Head Duties would give him something else to do, so he didn’t have to waste away thinking of Jeannie and revenge. He made up his mind.

“No sir. I can manage both. I need something to focus my attention on”
“I thought you’d say that. And I think you and Miss Evans will make a good team this year”
James nodded to his smiling Headmaster and left the office.

* * * *

“How’s Potter doing?” a cruel voice spat into the darkness of the room.
“Not at all good, my Lord. He completely lost his temper at breakfast this morning. Even Dumbledore and McGonagall didn’t see that one coming from their precious Potter” another voice answered.
“Good. I think it is now time to begin faze 2 of my plan” the cruel voice said again.
“An excellent idea.” yet a third voice answered. This time a female one, full of admiration.

A shadow moved towards the window and removed the curtains. Light flooded the room and shined on his white, skull-like face. He smiled at his followers and hissed.

“You will continue to give me updates on the boy. Especially now that the second faze will begin. I would advice you to keep a distance from him. And a clue: The more alone he feels, the more vulnerable he will be. If my plan works out, even his best friends will keep a distance, and everything will be so much easier then.”
“We will assist you as good as we can, my Lord” the excited female voice said again.
“And we won’t fail this one” a monotone male voice finished.

* * * *

Sitting in McGonagall’s classroom trying to pay attention wasn’t the easiest feat at the moment for James. He was still very annoyed at the Slytherins, and disappointed that Dumbledore had blocked his attempt on hurting all of them down in the Great Hall. Luckily today’s subject wasn’t exactly a hard one for any of the Marauders – maybe except for Peter – since it was: Animagi.
All of the Marauders had a secret, you see. Remus was a werewolf. He’d been bitten at a young age, and with each full moon he transfigured into a fully grown werewolf. When his friends found out they felt sorry for him, and in their fifth year James, Sirius and Peter succeeded in becoming Animagi. James turned into a stag. Sirius turned into a black dog, and Peter turned into a rat.
Also James’ best subject in school – except for flying in first year – was transfiguration.

“Mr. Potter” McGonagall said, startling James and waking him from his thoughts.
“Yes Minnie?” James answered innocently.

McGonagall frowned a bit but didn’t make any comments. Sirius and James had a habit of calling McGonagall ‘Minnie,’ and though no-one knew why, McGonagall never told them off for doing it.
“Can you tell me the difference between an animagus and a werewolf?” she asked.
It stood clear that she knew James hadn't been paying attention and now wanted to test him.
James sighed. The question couldn’t have been any better, and he easily answered.
“An animagus chooses to turn into an animal at will, a werewolf has no choice. By each full moon he will transform without a choice.” James shot Remus a quick glance and he smiled weakly back at him.
“Correct” McGonagall said, looking fairly impressed since James hadn’t paid any attention when she taught the class about the difference just a moment ago. Of course she knew Lupin was a werewolf – and that James would know – but the only animagus James knew was her. Or at least she thought so.

The class proceeded and the students had to turn pins into turtles. James lazily flicked his wand at the pin and said the incantation, and immediately the pin turned into a turtle. He looked around and saw that Lily had problems with the transfiguration. The pin did turn into a turtle, but it had a large resemblance to a pin cushion. Having watched Lily’s every move the last six years, James knew that she’d never had a knack for transfiguration. Potions and charms were her best subjects. James on the other hand didn’t quite get potions, and Professor Slughorn was very aware of that. He didn’t much like neither James nor Sirius, because every time he gave the class a particularly difficult potion to make, the boys would slam their heads down onto their tables.

McGonagall finished the lesson by giving all of them homework, as usual.

“First lessons of the first day back and we have to write an essay already!” Sirius said outraged.
“What did you expect Padfoot? It’s always been like that.” James retorted.

Suddenly James yelled and brought his hands up to his temples. He closed his eyes but a burning pain still raged in what felt like inside his head. He could hear his friends’ faint voices asking him questions which he could not comprehend. When it felt as though his head was about to explode, everything went black.

* * * *

“I just saw him, my Lord. He collapsed in the hallway” a drawling voice said.
“I expected him to. That means my plan is working. It seems that finally I’ll have my revenge!” a cold voice answered, followed by a cold, mirthless laughter.
Seven people standing in front of him all exchanged smirks.

* * * *

James woke up to see four pairs of eyes looking at him. He blinked a couple of times but couldn’t get the people into focus. He then realized that he wasn’t wearing his glasses, and in the same moment someone put them on him. Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew and Madam Pomfrey were all looking at him, and as soon as he looked at Madam Pomfrey she gave him a blue potion to drink, which made him feel fully awake.

“What happened?” James asked the others.
“You tell us. One minute we were talking, and the next you started yelling and clutching your head, and then you suddenly collapsed onto the floor. Seriously it was scary, mate.” Remus said.
“I don’t know what happened. I just felt a burning pain in my head suddenly. It felt as though my head was going to burst open or something. I’ve never felt like that before.”
“Well Mr. Potter I gave you the Essence of Rue while you were out cold, but I don’t know what gave you the pains. Nothing seems to be wrong with you.” Madam Pomfrey said while looking at him strangely, as if expecting him to suddenly do something that gave her a clue to as what was wrong.
“I guess it’s just because I’ve been stressed out or something?” James said uncertainly.
“At least I don’t have a better explanation myself. You may leave when you want to.” she said and left.

James left the Hospital Wing ten minutes later with his friends to go down to lunch. All the way people were looking at him curiously. James found it very annoying that he’d passed out in a busy corridor instead of some secluded area. Now everyone would think he was some sort of freak. Great.

“What happened James?” a quiet voice asked him.
James turned and saw one of Lily’s friends – Vanina Hamilton – looking at him curiously.
“I don’t know, something to do with stress I think” James replied.
“You know” she whispered “Lily was worried about you. I’ve never seen her like that before – I mean, I’ve never seen her being concerned before because of you”
James gave her a weak smile. “Yeah I know what you mean” he said quietly. Then suddenly everything went black again, but only for about a second. In that second he saw a pair of red eyes in his mind, and felt a very weird sensation in his head. He felt oddly lightheaded, but the same time he had a burning headache.
“You know what, I think I’ll take the rest of the day off” he said and hurried up to the Head Dorm and into his room. As the time went by the headache increased. James kept seeing the same pair of red eyes every time he closed his eyes, and so he concentrated on not closing them. After a few moment he caught a glimpse of the eyes even though his eyes were still open, and then a cold, high-pitched voice spoke inside his head:

“You cannot hide, James Potter.”

- - - -

Okay so that's it for now. Whatever you think about this story, please leave me feedback because it makes me SO happy

I'm now back after a long and nice holiday, and with a new chapter It's lovely to have internet again, but school has started again and that's not cool..
Anyways thanks to dewet_pdw88, agriggs6 and forsaken_wolfess for the nice feedback! Truly very much appreciated!

Now on with the chapter. It's not very long, but I've already written most of the next one, so this is kind of a 'build-up' for chapter 5. Hope you enjoy reading

4 – Duty Calls

Over the next couple of days James continued to see those red eyes staring at him, but the headaches had disappeared and he was beginning to think that it was just some sort of illusion, because he was still in shock because of what happened to Jeannie. This was actually typical James Potter behaviour. Denial. Of course there was nothing sinister about the headaches and eyes, it all had a reasonable explanation. Even though he’d started to feel much better, he didn’t like the prospect of having to attend a double potions class later that day – and as an added bonus, the seventh year Gryffindors had potions with the seventh year Slytherins.

“Welcome to potions class seventh years! Now this year will be very important and very hard for you, and...”
“Here we go again...” Sirius muttered and placed his head in his hands. All the professors had started their respective classes by emphasizing the importance of hard studying that year. Then they went on and on about how hard it would be to study their subjects on NEWT level, and that they had to concentrate fully all the time.
James chuckled slightly at the sight of his friend, and he himself felt that he could the teachers’ little speeches by heart by now. It really was boring to listen to them over and over again. Ironically though, Sirius whispered:

“Oi Prongs, what is it NEWTs stands for?”
“Are you serious? They’ve told us a billion times the last few days!” James replied.
“Yes of course I’m Sirius! I thought you’d know that by now. You know, we’ve only been friends the last six years!” Sirius answered sarcastically.
“No not the Sirius-joke again!” Remus sighed.
“Anyways FYI Sirius NEWTs stands for ‘Nastily Exhausting Wizarding Tests’ and they have a huge impact on the type of career you can choose later in life.” James said.
“Wow where did that come from?!” Sirius asked looking at James with confusion.
“I think I’ve memorized the definition by now Padfoot.”
“Oh. I haven’t.” Sirius said dumbly.
“As we noticed.” Peter said and they all snickered.
“Nastily Exhausting... Well that doesn’t sound very nice!” Sirius said moments later.
“Again, why are you so slow?” Peter asked exasperatedly.

Once Slughorn was done doing his speech and James was done miming it they proceeded to the lesson itself.
“Well class, today you are going to brew the Draught of Living Dead. Can anybody tell me what that is?”
Lily’s hand shot into the air, and James couldn’t help but feeling a little proud of her.
“But of course Miss Evans can tell us!” Slughorn said excitedly.
“It’s a sleeping potion, but compared to the Sleeping Draught this is extremely strong. It’s made out of powdered root of asphodel and an infusion of wormwood.” Lily said confidently.
“Exactly, ten points to Gryffindor!” Slughorn said enthusiastically.

It was rather funny to think of Professor Slughorn. He looked like a walrus, but with gingery hair and beard. He’d always adored people with great magical abilities, people with famous backgrounds or people with all the right connections. He liked to join all of them into a club which he called ‘The Slug Club,’ and they would gather a few times every year at ‘exclusive Slughorn parties.’ It seemed as if most of the members of this club didn’t actually enjoy their membership. Lily Evans was of course a member and as was Severus Snape from Slytherin. Slughorn always did like to give everything a dramatic effect. Once in a while he would ‘forget’ to explain a potion in one of the cauldrons in the classroom, and once this was mentioned to him he would tell it in a dramatic and excited way. This resulted in his most used word being ‘Oho!’ placed at the start of any ‘dramatic’ sentence.

And once again like in every other class Lily and Snape did brilliantly, Remus’ work was good and most others did horribly. Especially James and Sirius, but they didn’t care much about it. They needed good grades in potions, but as Sirius would always say when something went wrong, no matter the time of the year: “There’s still a long time until the exams!”

And finally the day came when James would have something to think about except for Jeannie, the family secret and classes; Quidditch try-outs. As Captain he was responsible of putting this years’ team together. The only players from the old team remaining on Hogwarts were Nicholas Wood as Keeper, James and Vanina as chasers and Sirius as beater. Which meant that James would have to find himself a new chaser, beater and seeker.

When James trooped onto the pitch it came clear to him, that Quidditch truly was a very popular sport at Hogwarts, and many new hopeful players were standing in a line in the middle of the pitch. Seventeen people queuing up were the exact number, James concluded after a quick round of calculus – and he only needed three new players. A lot were going to be leaving the pitch disappointedly.

Seeing as there were a couple of first and second years amongst the hopefuls, James decided to make them all fly one lap around the pitch, and then touch back down. Firstly though, he divided all of them into groups. They were being divided into groups of hopeful chasers, hopeful beater and hopeful seekers.

“Okay, chasers fly one lap around the pitch now.” James ordered and blew his whistle.
The chasers kicked off from the ground, but a lot of girls still remained on the ground, laughing and clutching their sides at the sound of the whistle, and batting their eyelashes at him. James shot Sirius an exasperated look while Sirius just grinned at him and gave him a look that clearly said: ‘what did you expect?’

After quite a while James had selected the chasers. The new chaser who was to join James and Vanina was Fabian Prewett who had out flown all the others and scored seventeen out of twenty goals on Nicholas. He worked well with both Vanina and James, so it hadn’t been a difficult choice. If it continued like this James was confident Gryffindor would have good chances at winning the Cup this year.

Next up were the beaters, and James once again chose a Prewett. Fabian’s brother – Gideon – aimed well and shot a bludger straight at Vanina, who only dodged it by a few inches. Sirius and Gideon got along well, and Gideon walked to the stands to sit along with the rest of the team.

The last player needed was possibly the most important one on the Team – the Seeker – so James took a long time selecting. He threw tennis balls around the Pitch for each player to catch, and the best of them would then proceed to try to catch the Golden Snitch. At last one player got James’ full attention when she did a spectacular dive and then caught the Snitch and barely avoided crashing into the ground. That was what he needed. Someone who’d go far to make the Team win. Someone who wasn’t afraid of being injured. Someone who took risks. He flew over to Sarah Wilson, a sixth year, and told her she’d made the Team. She was so happy she gave James a big hug and almost knocked him off the broom. However, it wasn’t a ‘giggly–girl’ hug, it was one of pure excitement of making the team. She muttered an embarrassed “sorry,” while James just smiled at her and they flew over to join the rest of the team.

“Congratulations on making the Team everyone. I’m sure we’ll flatten everyone this year! I’ll post the first practise on the notice board in the common room.” James said and the Team left the Pitch.
“Hey James” two pretty synchronized voices shouted and he turned around. It was the Prewetts.
“Err... We’d just like to say that we’re sorry about your sister.” Fabian said a bit uncomfortably.
“Thanks” James said and gave them both a fake smile. The picture from The Daily Prophet flew into his mind instantly, followed by the pair of red eyes. He shook his head to shake the memory away, and left the Pitch with Sirius to go to the Head Dorm.

Inside the Head Dorm the girls were sitting in front of the fireplace talking. When Sirius and James walked in with James still wearing his Quidditch robes, Vanina thought of something.
“Hey James” she called.
“Yeah?” James said and turned around to look at her. For a second he looked directly into Lily’s eyes, but then turned towards Vanina.
“I was just wondering why Sarah Wilson hugged you during practise?”
“She was just excited about making the team I guess.” James said with a shrug.
“Oh, okay then” Vanina said and the boys left to go to James’ room.

The Girls’ POV

“Who is Sarah Wilson?” Emily asked interestedly.
“She’s a sixth year. She just joined the Quidditch Team as seeker. When James flew over to tell her she’d made the team she hugged him. She almost knocked him off the broom that is.”
“Well, I suppose James is used to girls hugging him and kissing the floor he walks on.” Lily said dismissively.
“Ah come on Lily she’s not one of those! I talked to her for a few minutes after practise and she’s a really nice girl. Extremely excited about making the team. She looked like Christmas had come early this year.” Vanina said.
“You guys – where is this conversation heading? I don’t get why we talk about her.” Emily suddenly said. “I mean it’s great that she’s very nice and everything, but I agree with Lily. There’s nothing new about girls hugging James, you know.”
“Yeah I know. I’m just a bit sad that James is so down, so it’s nice that a ‘normal’ girl likes him.”
“How do you know she likes him? She just hugged him!” Lily said exasperatedly.
“I don’t mean it like that. I mean likes him as a friend, you know?”
“I don’t get it.”
“Arh!” Vanina sighed “I just think it’s nice that a girl who’s not some Barbie-clone is nice towards him!”
“Don’t other ‘normal’ girls do that too?” Emily asked with a frown, still not completely getting the conversation.
“No. Lily hates him and can be quite mean towards him.” Lily shot her a look. “Well you can Lily! I only talk to him during Quidditch practise, and most other ‘normal’ girls don’t talk to the Marauders because they’re ‘so cool’ and therefore somewhat intimidating.” Vanina recited.
Lily and Emily blinked.
“Whatever you say, Van. But I still don’t see why we’re talking about this.” Emily said and Lily nodded.
Vanina just let her head fall to the table and sighed. The others laughed at her.

End Girls' POV

“Your room is so cool Prongs! I wanna be Head Boy next year!” Sirius exclaimed.
“Padfoot we’re not here next year. This is seventh year remember?” James replied amusedly.
The grin on Sirius’ face disappeared and he frowned.
“Anyways whoever decorated this room must know you very well. A bit too well for my liking.” Sirius said gesturing towards the floating moons, thinking of Remus.
“Yeah I know. I’ve been wondering about it too. The moon-thing is a bit disturbing.”

James threw himself onto the bed and sighed, taking a hand to his head.
“What’s wrong?” Sirius asked concernedly.
“Headache.” James answered shortly.
“Again? That’s disturbing Prongs, you’re like invulnerable normally.”
“What?” James asked quite confused.
“Except for after full moons you’re never ill or anything.”
“Yeah well I guess I just have a lot on my mind right now. With Jeannie and all.” he finished numbly.
“I understand. I feel terrible about Jeannie too and I’ve only lived with you guys for a year.”
“I need to get my mind of it and focus on something else.” James sounded a bit helpless.
“You need to get yourself a girl, mate” Sirius flashed a grin at him.
“Padfoot, why is that always your only advice?” James asked exasperatedly.
“Because it works! Go on, you can get anyone. Well, almost anyone.” Sirius said and they laughed.

- - - -

Alright that was it! I hope you liked it. No matter what you think of it, even if you think it's the worst fanfic ever, I hope you'll leave me some feedback 'cause it makes me so happy!
Thanks for reading and thanks to Prodfoot for helping out with the plot!

SORRY it's taken so long for me to post. I've got so much on my mind right now. Thanks to agriggs6 and PrisonerOfAzkaban for the lovely feedback!

This is part 1 of chapter 5, and the next part will be posted in a few days latest!

5 - Not Himself - Part I

Another day dawned at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and James woke up in his room, bleary-eyed and late. It really was easier when he shared a dorm with the other boys. Remus always woke up at the right time. Not too early and not too late. These days James only ever woke up late. Too late.
And what a nice picture it was, when James Potter, Head Boy, once again ran into McGonagall's transfiguration classroom, and once again late, meeting the stern looking professor.

* * * *

"How's our boy doing?" a cruel voice hissed sarcastically.
"As usual when it's Potter, he acts like nothing is wrong." a monotone voice answered.
"Ah I thought so. But I have seen his dreams and heard his thoughts. He senses a growing danger. He knows something is wrong, even if he doesn't show it. And soon he will show it. Yet another part of my plan will begin. Today." the voice ended with a smile running across his thin lips.

* * * *

"Ah Mr. Potter, you've decided to bless us all with your company" McGonagall said sarcastically.
"Anything for you Minnie" James answered dramatically and bowed to her.
The other Marauders snickered and James could have sworn he saw a small smile on McGonagall's face, which was instantly replaced by her characteristic stern look.
"Would you care to sit down today then?" she said a little impatiently.
"Sure thing" James said and sat down next to Sirius.
"Today we will be rehearsing how to transform humans into animals. You should all note that this is not magic like the magic used when becoming an animagus. Pair up and start working."

The Marauders all smiled at each other. James was good - close to brilliant - at Transfiguration, but even if this lesson should prove to be too difficult for any of the Marauders, they could just turn into their Animagi forms.

They started working and soon the sound of students shouting 'Veraserpio!" filled the room.
James focused on trying to turn Sirius into a badger, while Sirius tried turning James into a guinea pig - much to James' annoyance.

"Why a guinea pig, Padfoot? Seriously try to at least pick a cool animal!" he complained.
"Why a badger, Prongs? It's not like I'm a Hufflepuff!" Sirius retorted.
"A badger is way cooler than a guinea pig though!" James pressed on.
"Is not!"
"Is too!"
"Is not!"
"Look at it this way boys: A guinea pig is cuter than a badger" Vanina said from the other side of the room.
"HA! Never mind Sirius! I'm cuter, handsomer and stronger than you!" James said triumphantly.
"Stronger? I think not! A badger is much stronger than a guinea pig" Sirius teased.
"Is not!"
"Is too!"
"Is not!"

Sirius finally let James win the argument and mock bowed to him. It was good seeing James in this mood again. For the first time since Jeannie's death James was being himself, acting like he'd done all the other years Sirius had known him. He hated seeing his best friend and brother down.

They continued on with the lesson and Sirius managed to turn James into a guinea pig. He started laughing at his friend, and when he turned James back into himself, James started roaring with laughter as well. It felt good to laugh, after such a long time without happiness. Then suddenly something strange happened:

James felt a searing pain in his temples and felt a sudden feeling of rage engulf him.
Sirius was laughing but stopped when he saw James clutching his head.
"Prongs are you alright?" he asked nervously.

James looked at him strangely and Sirius saw his eyes held a shade of red in those usual hazel pools. Then James slashed his wand violently through the air while yelling something completely incomprehensible, and Sirius was thrown violently into the air and hit the far wall of the classroom hard. He was knocked out cold and blood started pouring out from his nose.

The room had gone very quiet. The other Marauders were looking numbly at James, unable to understand what had happened. The other students were looking at him fearfully except for the Slytherins, who were smirking behind their hands and some were sending each other knowing looks. This however, went unnoticed by all. Professor McGonagall looked is if she'd never in her dreams have imagined something like this to happen. And why would she have? Her star pupil, rebellious but bright and Head Boy, seemed unlikely to loose control like this. Especially to loose control against his almost-brother Sirius Black.

* * * *

James sat alone in his room. He couldn't believe what happened in Transfiguration. One minute he'd laughed along with Sirius and had a good time, and the next he'd cursed his best mate into a wall. The look on McGonagall's face had been unnerving. She looked as though she'd never seen him before. As though he was a complete stranger. The worst part had been the looks on the other Marauders' faces. Peter looked downright afraid of him, while Remus looked immensely disappointed with James. When McGonagall finally regained speech, she'd given him a weeks' worth of detentions and dismissed him immediately.

But what had happened? One minute he was there feeling happy and the next a feeling of terrible rage engulfed him. And what's more. He'd seen the eyes again. Those ever-watchful red eyes staring at him, blinding him.

He assumed Sirius had been taken to the Hospital Wing, but he didn't know if he should visit or not. Would Sirius even want to see him now? And how would Remus and Peter react if he showed up? Those questions needed answering and quite reluctantly James got up and headed towards the Hospital Wing.

People were staring at him in the hallways. It seemed that news of the incident had travelled fast, but news usually did that at Hogwarts. If something happened, the whole school would usually know in a matter of minutes. Especially if it had something to do with the Marauders, or other 'popular' people.
James reached the Hospital Wing and peaked through the door which was a little ajar. He could see Sirius lying on one of the beds, with Remus and Peter standing beside it talking to him. Both Sirius and Remus had a grim expression on their faces, while Peter looked as though he was contemplating something very hard. James took a deep breath and walked in through the doors. The other Marauders immediately stopped talking.

"I'm sorry!" James said exasperatedly, "I don't know what happened back there."
"You've been acting very weird lately James, and something tells me this isn't just about Jeannie" Remus said.
James noticed that he'd called him James and not Prongs.
"I know. I've got something to tell you guys but it's got to be in private." James said looking at Sirius who still hadn't talked, silently hoping beyond anything that he'd listen to him.
"I'm outta here in 10 minutes. Let's meet in the Head Dorm." Sirius said and James left feeling grateful.

When he entered the Head Dorm, he noticed Lily sitting on the couch reading a book. When she heard someone enter she looked up, and when she saw him she frowned and stood up.

"What the hell happened in Transfiguration Potter?" she asked him angrily.
"I don't see why it's any of your business Evans" he snapped and continued walking towards his room.
"You're Head Boy. You've got a responsibility to the younger students, you-" but she was cut off by James.
"Why do you even care? You've always claimed to hate me, and for once I don't give a damn about what you feel about me, so feel free to continue hating me, just leave me alone in the meantime!" he walked away.
"You still haven't answered my question" Lily pressed on.
"It's between me, my family and my friends, and since you're neither I won't tell you."

Lily glared at him as he walked away. Typically James Potter. Why had she even bothered worrying about him in the first place? He was the same arrogant one he'd always been.

* * * *

The other Marauders trooped into the Head Dorm as well, and Lily looked up curiously. Sirius had turned back into his normal state, and one couldn't see he'd just been smashed headfirst into a wall. They did not however acknowledge her presence but continued towards James' room as he'd done too. As the door closed behind them Lily couldn't help but feel a wee bit curious.

"So Prongs what's going on?" Remus asked James the minute they'd crossed his threshold.
"I don't really know. I guess you'd better sit down, it's gonna be quite a long explanation." James said sadly.
After telling his friends about all of the strange things he'd been experiencing, he felt better. It was a burden to keep such things to yourself, and he really needed to find out what was wrong with him.

"Wow Prongs, that's seriously... disturbing?" Remus said, looking as though in search of a better word.
"And you keep seeing those red eyes?" Sirius asked warily.
"Yeah, almost every time I blink."
"Maybe you should tell Dumbledore?" Peter offered.
"Nah I don't think so" James said.
"I think Wormtail's right, Prongs. This is out of our hands, we can't do anything to stop it." Remus said.
"He's right, mate." Sirius added.
"Alright! I'll talk to him tomorrow, okay?"

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. Except for the fact that people kept looking at James in the hallways and in class. Actually that was pretty normal as well, but this time people weren't staring at him because he pulled of some amazing stunt in the last Quidditch match, and nor was it crowds of silly girls chasing 'Mr. Popularity.' This time it was different. Some were looking at him as though they were afraid, and some professors were even treating him somewhat apprehensively.
So, the day passed by normally - until potions class.
Once again things were starting out well (except for the fact that both James, Sirius and Peter sucked at potions) and James and Remus paired up together, sharing their table with Peter and Sirius. Suddenly James picked up his silver dagger and stabbed it hard into the table, where it lingered.
Luckily, this went by unnoticed by anyone but the Marauders.

Peter jerked his hands off the table and whispered:
"**** Prongs, what's wrong now?!"
"How would I know?" James asked angrily.
"Chill Prongs, we're not the enemies here" Sirius said.
"I wish you'd just go and see Dumbledore about this!" Remus said for the umpteenth time.
"I will... later!" James now looked really angry and about to burst, and he did.

He stood up and gathered his things quickly, angrily knocking over the cauldron so the contents spilled everywhere, and while Slughorn was yelling something at him, and every eye in class was on his back, he left the dungeon.

James pushed through the doors leading from the dungeons to the entrance hall, and heard a crunching sound and a little shriek as he did so. The anger left him and was replaced by a sudden uneasiness, as he looked behind the door, dreading what he might see there. A girl with dark brown - almost black - hair and matching eyes was staring up at him while holding a hand to her forehead. Sarah Wilson. His newly appointed seeker.

"I'm so sorry!" he said hastily and offered a hand.
"That's okay. It's not you, it's me, I'm always unlucky" she said and grasped his hand to haul herself from the floor.
"What are you doing here anyway? Don't you have class?" James asked.
"Free period. And I could ask you the same thing I suppose." she said with a slight smirk.
"I.. Let's just say I didn't exactly feel too well." James said uncomfortably.
"Had another strange outbreak of sudden rage?" Sarah asked concernedly.
"I.. How do you know about that?!" James asked suspiciously.
"Come on, James, who doesn't know about it?"
"Yeah I suppose you're right."

Sarah smiled at him. She could see something was bothering him, but she didn't count on finding out what it was. After all she'd only just met him. Yes, it did seem weird that she'd only just met him, considering she'd been going to school with him for six years, her being a sixth year and him being a seventh year. But James was one of the famous Marauders. They never talked to anyone not popular. Maybe except for Remus. But this year something had changed in him. Yes she'd just entered the Quidditch Team and that was definitely one of the reasons as to why he was talking to her, but there was something else as well. Sarah had never been one of the popular girls, nor had she ever been particularly loquacious, so she'd never talked to any of the Marauders before. This year James seemed to have changed. He wasn't as pompous and arrogant as before, and he seemed to be much more caring towards other people than before. But maybe that was because of his sister?

"You know, I really don't know what's wrong with me." James said silently.
Okay, so Sarah had definitely not expected him to start talking about the problem.
"Err, what?" Sarah asked, not knowing what else to say.
James chuckled slightly. "You know, I know we've never talked before, but you can't seriously mean you know me that bad. Do you think it's normal for me to attack my best mate?" he asked amusedly.
"Err, no I suppose not." she said timidly.
"Thought so. Powerful feelings of anger just keeps hitting me all the time. And I can't control it. Even though one part of my brain doesn't understand why I'm mad, the other part takes over. And I keep seeing a pair of red eyes. The guys want me to tell Dumbledore, but I don't really want to bother him."
"I think you should tell him."
"Yeah, I thought you'd say that." he smiled at her.
"James." she said suddenly and stopped walking.
"Yeah?"
"Why are you telling me this?" If he thought it was a weird question, he didn't show it. He just smiled and said:
"I trust you."

- - - -

That's it for now. Next part will be up soon! In the meantime I'd be very grateful if you'd please leave feedback, since it makes me very happy, although I'm a bit down today. Thanks for reading!

I know I promised to post this part much sooner, but I barely got any feedback (THANKS agriggs6) and I've had so much homework to tend to, so I didn't get a chance to write often. There are clues leading to the secret in this one.

Anyways here it is, and I hope you like it.

5 - Not Himself - Part II

Later on when James was walking the corridors with the other Marauders, they heard a commotion from further ahead, and when they turned into the charms corridor, they saw the source of it.
It was no shocker that one of the sources of the commotion were Slytherins, but James tensed visibly when he saw the victim: Lily Evans.

Just as the Marauders drew their wands and started to move in, Lily was hit by one of the curses and thrown through the air, landing hard on the floor. She sat up quickly but her leg was too hurt for her to move. Mulciber and Avery grinned triumphantly, and just as James was about to curse them into oblivion, Severus Snape appeared from what seemed to be out of nowhere, and stunned both of them.

He might as well have stunned the whole corridor. Lily sat on the floor staring confusedly at him, and everyone else pretty much matched that look. Why would Severus Snape, well-known for agreeing on the Slytherin principles, help the muggle-born Lily Evans after calling her a ‘mudblood’ only two years earlier?

Snape offered Lily a hand and she took it, speechless, and let him escort her to the Hospital Wing, which was just around the corner. A moment passed by before anyone moved. Then the buzzing of conversations started.

“I really think something is wrong with the world now.” Sirius said while shaking his head.
“Why?” Peter asked quite dumbly, and received some odd looks from the other Marauders.
“Well, in case you haven’t been here the last couple of days” Sirius started “James was made Head Boy this year, he’s having some seriously disturbing problems right now, and Snape just defended Evans.”
“Oh.” was all Peter could come up with as an answer.

“Maybe Severus has changed for the better?” Remus suggested.
Remus was the only one of the Marauders, who’d ever call Snape ‘Severus’ occasionally.
“What?” Sirius snorted “Snape, leave his dear Death Eater palls? I think not.”
“People change sometimes Padfoot.” Remus reasoned somewhat doubtful himself.
“Trust me on this one Moony: No one stops being a Death Eater.”
“Don’t you ever say that!” James said rather aggressively, and suddenly images from his past visualised in his mind:

A little girl lying on the floor with unseeing, glassy eyes, and a Death Eater standing over her.
A Daily Prophet headline saying: ‘Family torn apart by boating accident in Brighton.’
A man and a boy forced to pay for mistakes made in the past.
A family secret that must never be revealed.

“What are you on about Prongs?” Sirius said, confused by this statement, especially coming from James’ mouth.
“Nothing. I’ll just... I need to clear my head. See you guys later.” and off he went.

James picked up his broom from his room and went to the Quidditch Pitch. In his opinion, there was no better way to clear you head, than to go out for a flight and hear the wind roar in your ears.
After he’d changed into his Quidditch robes he threw open the doors leading from the changing rooms to the pitch, and for the second time that day he hit something – or someone – over at the other side. Cursing to himself he opened the door wide, only to see – for the second time that day – Sarah Wilson on the grass.

“I’m so sorry!” he repeated to her while feeling thoroughly stupid.
“Am I your main target this day or something?” Sarah asked while for the second time accepting his hand.
“Yes! I’ll never rest until I knock you out with a door!” James said sarcastically and winked at her.
“Yeah well, happy flying and I’ll see you around.” Sarah smiled and made to go.
James however, gripped her around the arm and asked:
“Do you mind staying for a while? I could really use someone to talk to.”
“Err yeah, sure.” Sarah said confusedly.

They flew around for a bit, throwing a quaffle between them and racing each other.
“Why don’t you just schedule some practise with the whole team?” Sarah yelled while throwing the quaffle at him.
“We just had one. I just want to fly around a bit without being too serious.” he yelled back catching the ball.
“When are you ever serious?” Sarah laughed.
James responded by sending the quaffle hard towards her, and it she nearly missed it.
“I’m always serious when it comes to Quidditch!” he protested.
“And when you mock the other teams by making up songs about them during practise?”
“Well, that doesn’t count! And that’s just... patriotism.” he reasoned.
“Whatever you say.” she laughed and they continued throwing the quaffle around.

About 15 minutes later some girls came and sat in the stands. James recognised them as him and Sirius’ punctual group of stalkers, who always found them no matter what. It was a bit like Peter. Peter always had to be around either Sirius, James or both of them. The girls waved at him, and smiled in what they must have thought was a seductive kind of way. James only found it annoying. He noticed how they sent foul looks in Sarah’s direction.

“Let’s go somewhere else.” James said and Sarah nodded and followed him.
James flew towards the forest, and landed on top of a particularly large tree. Sarah followed suit.
“Do you come here regularly?” she asked looking nervously towards the ground.
“Sometimes I come here with the guys. It’s a good place to relax.” he said and seemed oblivious to the distance to the ground. “So” he said “tell me something about yourself.”
“What?”
“We can’t always talk about me, so tell me something about yourself.” he repeated.
“We only talked once before so it’s hardly every time we talk about you.” Sarah reasoned.
James gave her a look and she sighed;
“Fine. My name is Sarah Wilson-“
“Because I didn’t already know that.” James said sarcastically and she shoved him slightly.
“And my middle name is-“ she continued but them she remembered something, and only mumbled the last word.
“You middle name is what?”
“Jeannie.” she said silently, not quite meeting his eyes.
“Oh.” was his only answer. She stole a look at him, and he looked to be deep in thought. She felt bad.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have told you.”
“No it’s okay. I asked you to tell me about yourself, so just go on. I’m alright.” he said confidently.

James listened to Sarah talk about her life and her family. It was good hearing about someone else, and think about another family than his own. Sarah said that she’d always been quite shy, and usually she couldn’t have a normal conversation, with someone she hadn’t known since kindergarten. She was a muggle-born only-child, and her father hadn’t been too happy about her being a witch. He’d never liked anything supernatural and unexplainable, so it had been quite a blow to find out, that a wizarding world existed right under his nose. James chuckled at that.

“But your family are all witches and wizards, aren’t they?” she asked James.
“Yeah. We’re one of the few completely pureblood families in Britain.”
“And yet your family was attacked.” she said, even though she didn’t want to make him upset.
James made a non-committal sort of noise, and Sarah had a feeling that he was hiding something, but didn’t press the matter further. Shortly after they flew back to the castle, and James went to the Head Dorm.

James sat down on his bed with his head in his hands, and sighed. Of course he’d told Sarah that he was alright, when she’d told him her middle name was Jeannie, but he really wasn’t. James and Jeannie had always shared a special bond, even though Jeannie was only eight years old. She meant a lot to him, and now she was gone. And James, as her older brother, felt guilty. He felt he should have been there, that it should have been him who’d gotten killed and not Jeannie. ‘I let her down’ he thought sadly.

Then James did something only Jeannie knew he could. He took a tiny guitar from his trunk, enlarged it into it’s normal size, and started playing and singing a song. Jeannie was the only one who once knew he could do this, because he’d occasionally sing for her when she couldn’t sleep. And now, while he was singing, he tried to put all of his feelings towards Jeannie and his sorrow into the song.

* * * *

James, Remus, Peter and Sarah were all looking for James. Sarah wanted to make sure she hadn’t upset James earlier, and the Marauder’s just weren’t the Marauders without James, so they needed him to plan a prank with them. They all reached the Head Dorm at the same time, and Sirius looked at Sarah strangely, but didn’t question her as to why she was there. When they entered the dorm they found Lily sitting on the couch reading a book, and when she looked up and Sirius was about to ask if James was there, they heard singing coming from his room:

Come stop your crying it will be alright
Just take my hand, hold it tight
I will protect you from all around you
I will be here don’t you cry

For one so small you seem so strong
My arms will hold you keep you safe and warm
This bond between us can’t be broken
I will be here don’t you cry

“Is James singing?” Sirius asked dumbstruck.
“He’s quite good.” Lily said looking both confused and impressed.
“I think he’s singing about Jeannie.” Sarah said sadly.

‘Cause you’ll be in my heart
Yes you’ll be in my heart
From this day on, now and forever more
You’ll be in my heart, no matter what they say
You’ll be here in my heart, always

Why can’t they understand the way we feel?
They just don’t trust what they can’t explain
I know we’re different but deep inside us
We’re not that different at all

And you’ll be in my heart
Yes you’ll be in my heart
From this day on, now and forever more
You’ll be in my heart, no matter what they say
You’ll be here in my heart, always

Don’t listen to them, ‘cause what do they know?
We need each other to have to hold
They’ll see in time, I know

When destiny calls you, you must be strong
I may not be with you, but you’ve got to hold on
They’ll see in time, I know
We’ll show them together ‘cause

You’ll be in my heart
Believe me you’ll be in my heart
From this day on, now and forever more
You’ll be in my heart, you’ll be here in my heart
No matter what they say, I’ll be with you
You’ll be here in my heart, always

Always, I’ll be with you
And I’ll be there for you always, always and always

Just look over your shoulder
Just look over your shoulder
Just look over your shoulder
I’ll be there always.

When he’d stopped singing they heard his voice, carried through the door, say:
“I’m so sorry I wasn’t there to protect you, Jeannie.” in a very un-James-ish voice.

All of the others, in their shocked states, took this as their cue to leave, and so they did. Each of them thinking, that it was going to take a long time for James to get over the tragedy.

“He blames himself for what happened.” Sirius muttered to the others as they left, and sent a pitying look towards James’ door.

- - - -

That's it for now. I hope you liked it. PLEASE leave some feedback if you have time, even if you think this story is utter rubbish! I got almost none for the latest chapter, (thanks again agriggs6) so I'd really appreciate some