Well ChikkyD that really depends on if you want to stay in touch with her or not. If you still want to keep in touch with her I think you should call her and meet her in the weekends or whenever you feel like it! I also have a friend that I have known for a very long time and we go now to different high schools, but we see each other in the weekends and call each other occasionally and that works out great...

I also have a problem these days. I have these friends at school that i hang with in recess and in my spare time. Before the summer vacation me and one of these friends had a little row. We were going to a lecture in town, but on the way there I made a little comment that really ****ed her off. She told me that she didn't really like that I made these comments all the time and that that annoying. I was completely shocked by this statement because it came out of nowhere. we were just on our way to the lecture and she had never said anything like this to me before. So I reacted in a way that I always react when someone is mad at me, I don't talk to them for the rest of the day. I needed to get some distance. Later that day we were all going to see a movie... And when I got there, there was only one of the group that was talking to me. The rest didn't even bother to look at me! I couldn't understand why all of them weren't talking to me anymore.

But then a couple of days later I was at a party with two of them that belonged to this group, and we talked and we sorted it out. According to them it was all a misunderstanding.

So then the summer vacation went by and I thought everything was allright. The first day the friend that I had a row with came to me and asked if we were friends again and I said yes, naturally. In addition I also found out that day that two of my friends had changed class, so that the four of them went in the same class now. Which ment that I was the only one who didn't go in the same class as them. Anyway the first couple of days I had a lot to do, so I didn't get to see them even in recess. But then 4 days after we had started school I had the time to hang out with them. But then I noticed that everytime I spoke they would look down in the table and when I had finished speaking they would just quickly change the subject and talk about something that had to do about their class, something that I wasn't a part of. And then the next couple of days they wouldn't even say hello to me in the hallway, or even look at me!

So it was like that for a couple of days, and after a while I've had enough! I just needed to know the reason for this. So I sent a textmessage and I went to see two of my friends in a park nearby to figure out this. When I got there I found out that the reason that they had stopped talking to me was because they thought that I had stopped talking to me. So instead of asking me about it or asking me if something was wrong, they had just decided to not talk to me. And then I felt like thay started to attack me. Saying all of the ennoying things that I had done and when I had hurt their feelings, and so on. And I just stood there and wondered why they hadn't asked me if they had a problem with me. I couldn't believe that my friends would just not talk to me instead of asking me what was wrong!

So now I need a bit of advice because I don't really know what to do! Should I start talking to them again or should I find some new friends? I already have the boys to hang out with, but you need a set of girls too, you know... In addition I will be spendig a large amount of time with to of them during my graduation, and that might be a bit weird if were not talking to each other.

By the way, sorry if my english was a bit bad, but I wrote this in a hurry!

Okay, I hope I won't get judged for this because it's the first time I have told anyone online except two close friends, but I just don't know what to do anymore.

I'm pretty sure I have a Social Anxiety Disorder.
I can't go out on my own.
I can't answer the door if i'm alone.
I can't even pick up the phone.
All of these things scare me to hell.

If I do go out, rarely, with my boyfriend then I feel uncomfortable - I feel like everyone is staring at me, and I know that they're know, but I can't help it. I'm not worried i'll get mugged/hurt or anything, people just scare me.

I hate eating out, in fact, I hate being watched when I eat to the point of near tears.

I can't do anything anymore.
I'm 19 years old, I live with my boyfriend and i'm unemployed because of this.
I can't claim Jobseekers because i'm too scared to go and speak to someone about it, not to mention i'd be lying in their face because I wouldn't be looking for a job because of this.

I'm even too scared to go to the Doctor and tell her about it, get diagnosed properly and put on the road to recovery.

I'm an adult, I shouldn't be so incompetant.

Nobody but my boyfriend knows about this.

Everyone just assumes i'm lazy.
I can't tell them otherwise.

I just, I don't know what to do anymore.

First of all, try to relax. It is not a big deal. Don't let it be a problem. It is very positive that you have realised what your problem really is. This way you'll be able to handle it faster.

What does your boyfriend say about it? What does he do about it? Is he being supportive?
Have you talked to any of your relatives? Have you tried to find the cause of this problem?

The best thing to do is contact a psychologist. If you're having trouble with meeting them face to face, either call them and explain your problem, or try one of those telephone services that help people with problems. I don't usually advice people to visit a psychologist, but in your case, it is necessary to find what is the real cause behind your phobia, which is something that you can't figure out on your own.

If you feel you're not ready to do either of those, search that phobia a little bit on the internet. You might find some interesting information on it. And if you really want someone to talk to, pm me. I don't have a specialty in such issues, but I'd like to try and help you.

Okay, my friend has a problem. She really liked this guy, and so at a birthday party, for fun, someone asked him out for her, to see a movie together. He agreed, and so they went and had fun. My friend, let's call her May, was really happy.
But then he stopped talking to May. She didn't know why, and it was really bugging her. She couldn't just go up to him and ask, but when she tried to start a conversation, he didn't really talk. She's been worrying about this, and she wants closure. What should May do?

There is only one way to really put a closure: talk to him. It's the only way to find out what went wrong and why he's treating her this way. Maybe he heard something bad about May? Who knows. If she doesn't confront him face to face about it, it will keep bugging her, even though the explanation might be something really simple.
So, tell her to not hold it in. She should talk to him as soon as possible, if not to clear things up, to stop torturing herself with all the whys and ifs.

Well, i've had this problem for a year now, so it's kind of really getting to me x]

My boyfriend is really supportive about it; he's the one encouraging me to visit the Doctor's, and helping me cope when we're out etc.

No, nobody else knows - they all live hundreds of miles away and i'm not close to any of them.

I think the cause was because I moved from the middle of nowhere - literally, there were 6 houses! - to a big city with thousands of people and i'm pretty sure that freaked me out. Plus, I was quite shy to begin with, so applying for jobs made me very nervous and every time I did it I just got more and more scared and withdrawn.

I do want to speak to a Psychologist, but they're expensive, and me and my boyfriend don't have much money, so i'm going to try and visit a Doctor about it (though I won't take pills because they've destroyed my cousin). I've also looked it up on the net a lot too.

Thankyou for your support and advice, I appreciate it

I'm pretty sure they won't give you pills. If a psychologist suggest that, from the first appointment, change him/her. Psychiatrists are the ones who are responsible of giving pills. Psychologists try to find the psychological factor behind the problem and solve it by making you talk. Pills are the extreme solution. Even more serious personality disorders can be solved with seeing a psychologist and not taking a single pill. So, if they suggest pills, say no.

Try one of those...hotlines? I'm nut sure if they're called this way. But they might be helpful. Or look up for free sessions etc. Many organizations offer a free examination. Psychologists might do that too.

Hey Everyone.
Well at the moment, I have myself in a little pickle and I'm unsure what to do. So hopefully some of you can give me some objective advice.

I have this friend of mine, I shall call him T for now, and I consider him quite a good friend. I use to have some feelings for him, but then he got together with this girl (I'll call her . They're perfect for each other, and I am really happy for both of them. But recently, some friend of mine that are quite close with B, have told me that she's unhappy with their relationship and was thinking of dumping him.
Now, T says ALOT of stupid things to B, he's very tactless when it comes to her. He tells her that he thinks other girls are prettier, he's told her who he'd date after her ect. All the wrong things, but he does care alot about her.
Lots of people have been telling B that she should dump T, because she deserves much better. I think that B is starting to believe what people tell her and is seriously considering it.

Now heres my problem, should I meddle in things that shouldn't concern me to try and keep them together, or should I just let them break up?

I'm really not sure what to do. A part of my knows I should tell T because he's a really good friend of mine and I don't want him getting hurt. Specially when I know I probably could have stopped it. Then the other part of me doesn't want to tell T, because a part of me wants them to break up. I know that's horrible, but it's true.

Theres also another factor, I'm not sure T would listen to him if I told him B was going to dump him. We've been drifting apart alot since he got together with B, which was like 6 months ago, but I still care a lot about him as friend and I don't want him to get hurt.

Please help me guys, as you can probably tell from my extremely long rambling post I'm confused. Any advice would be great

thanks,

Katie.

Okay...

My question is this: Do you still have feelings for T? If he breaks up with B, do you think you will have better chances dating him? And do you really want to date a guy who's treating this way a girl he claims caring a lot about?

I suggest talking to him. Tell him what you've heard and advice him to stop acting this way, if he really cares about her. If he doesn't want to listen, tell him that you did what you had to do as a friend. But do not meddle anymore. It is not your business what they do and how they treat each other. You have the right and obligation as a friend to let him know what's going on, but you shouldn't try getting in the middle.

Also, try focusing your interest on someone else. I have the feeling that even if you ended up together, it wouldn't work out.

Yeah I know about Psychologists, i've studied Psychology for two years myself!

The problem is, I can't afford a Psychologist, so i'll be going to the Doctor's and they do suggest pills because they're from that school of thought >.< (I don't agree with most of the things Doctor's provide by the way).

Nah, I don't think i'll go with a hotline as they're usually expensive, but thankyou
I'm going to ring the Doctor's in a bit and make an appointment.

Firstly, I'm pretty sure the feelings I have towards him now are feelings of purely friendship. If T did break up with B, it would definately better my chances of dating him but if he were to ask me out, I'm not sure if I would be ready to say yes. In between the time when I had feelings for T and now, I guy hurt me pretty badly. I still haven't recovered, and I think I would say no just because I wouldn't want to be hurt again.

Thanks for all the advice, I think I'm going to have a chat with him. I don't want him getting hurt like I did. But thanks again

Katie.

You're welcome!

Remember not to feel disappointed if he doesn't believe you, or if he doesn't want to listen to what you have to say. Denial is the first thing that comes to mind whenever we hear something that might hurt us. You have to do your duty as his friend. But it is his own business to decide whether to believe you or not, and to see what he'll do with what you told him.

Let us know what happened as soon as you talk to him!

Ok so today my best friend/the guy I really really really like said something that really really really really really hurt me. We talked later and he was all "I'm soooo sorry! I wasn't thinking when I said it! It was the first thing that came to mind!" etc. etc. I forgave him, but now I'm wondering wether I should've or not. I don't know. Especially now, when he's blaming me for yelling at him and being mean to him first, which I didn't. And apperantly that means we were saying "Go away" and "no one cares" or whatever. Which is absolutley no excuse for telling your best friend, who you know is crazy head over heels in love with you that "You could live your entire life without her" and that "You didn't consider her a friend!" I was totally distraught. And I don't think I'm ready to forgive him yet. But I already have. So please please please please please please please help!

...Any issues in your life no matter how big or small feel free to post here....

Hia,
I am Emma and thought it would be cool to have an Agony Aunt thread...I looked and couldn't find another one so...

I know as well as anyone how it can make you feel to have bottled up feelings or worries so if you have a problem you need advice on or ust some friendly words post your issue below and check for a reply. It doesn't matter if is something like losing your hairstraighteners or losing a family member, if you want to share feel free.

Wow this feels like circle time in primary school! I loved circle time it was so fun!

Anyway...as well as leaving issues obviously you can also give advice, I am only one person, but be sure that your advice is constructive and positive and that it is not harmful or negative in any way shape or form. I will try to check the thread as often as possible to leave some feedback for any possible posters.

Hope you enjoy.

Em
xx

Mod Edit: I'm merging this with the existing help thread. ~Triad

Hi people! I need some advice!

So here's the deal, i have a HUGE crush on this guy from my previous school. I heard he liked me back but he's a well known player . He's super hot and I really reallly really like him . I've changed my school now and we've got like no means of seeing each other . So should i get over him? i mean I miss him alot and I really like him.....
plz help,
~Alee

Heys, hp*lover! I wish I could help, but I'm awful with guys, really really awful, but I want to tell you... that you're not alone! I've got a huge crush on a guy that shared a class with me at university, but now those classes are over, and since he studies Psychology and I only take some courses for English teacher while studying something else, we won't cross again Next Wednesday is the exam and it'll be the last time I'll be seeing him.
So, stealing your question, what am I supposed to do? This is... the first time I make such a big deal of a guy, seriously But he's my Ron, I can't let him go!

Well, DeSs, have you ever talked to him? Maybe you could try suggesting that you two study together for the exam (if you see him before then)? You could tell him that you want to be friends...and see how that progresses? Maybe email him or something?

Ah, Eisa, that's the problem: that there's only a down side for me! Everytime I planned on saying hi, he arrives when we're about to enter to the class or when I'm with my friend; I won't be seeing him before Wednesday because I'm done with classes and... I've looked him up through Twitter, Facebook and MySpace... and the telephone directory, and the guy's a mystery And since that's the only class we share and I don't have friends taking Psychology, and that professor doesn't send us e-mails, I don't have his address!
And besides... I'm too shy, if I manage to say something on Wednesday... well, God help us all, because it'd be the end of the world!
Anyway, thank you! I hope I'll be lucky someday, because I'm not planning on becoming nun anytime soon (or ever -- no offense to nuns).

hp*lover, I could not even fathom why you would want to involve yourself with a "well-known player," no matter how hot he is. Players, and especially well-known ones, are bad news. You'll just end up being another girl who gets played. So because of that, I would tell you to forget him. Besides that reason, I would also tell you to forget him because you can't see him on a regular basis. It's hard to have a good relationship with a person you can't see regularly. I'm sure you're young and you've got plenty of time to find someone new. So I suggest you do that.

DeSs, University guys that you can't see...good luck. I'd say unless you had managed to get his number so that you could arrange get-togethers, you may as well forget him too. Unfortunately you have no way to contact him at this point, so there's not much hope. However, if you can muster the courage to speak to him this last time that you see him, maybe you can get in there and talk to him, get some digits, or some other way to get in touch with him. Besides that, I don't know what to tell you. =\

Good luck!

hp*lover, I second Just the Droobles. Do not get yourself in such a situation. The world is full of hot, light-headed guys. Since you've changed school, maybe it's a good time to get over him and start meeting other people, other guys. Plus, you're way to young to worry about crushes and relationships. Trust me, you'll deal with it your whole life.
Oh, and happy b-day!

Desire, um...you know what works for most people? Talking about the exam. You might be lucky and sit next to him, so that you'll introduce. But if this doesn't happen, you can keep an eye on him and watch when he leaves, so that you'll leave too (if you have finished writing of course!). If this works out, talk to him! Ask him how he did, what he thought about the questions, blah blah. And then, ask him about his studies, anything to get him to open up! It's not that tough. Treat him like any other classmate of yours.

On a sidenote, maybe he's a ghost.

Okay, kidding, but wouldn't that be interesting?

Alkisti, you seem to have read my mind! Just last night, I was chatting with my best friend and telling her that I was going to wait until he finish the exam (because last time I left and he was still there ) and just then hand my exam, and then kind of... say "Hey" and ask him how was the exam and what is he studying (in spite of that I know it ), so, that way I'll see if he show some interest or not. Haha, it will be interesting if he was a ghost! But that way I wouldn't be able to see him
Droobles, this isn't really a big city and that isn't a big university, and... to tell the truth, we've met on the bus twice, so there're lots of chances of seeing him, despite the chances of talking to him are pretty thin.

Anyway, I'm really grateful to all the people who talked to me yesterday: Alex, Caoimhe, Alyssa, Kiersten, Lisa and my friend Dany, because it meant a lot and I had lots of fun imagining someone saying "Hey, hi, I know we weren't introduced, but can you give me your phone number?" Well, now I know that the worse that could happen is that he won't show interest but there's nothing wrong with me saying "Hi". So, I hope it works!

Hmm, I know I could post this in the boy trouble thread, but, I'm going to try it here.

Okay, so, it's the same guy I've liked for months, for those of you who know who I'm talking about, sort of. Anyway, we talk a lot (like, I text only about 3 or 4 people mainly, and I've sent over 1300 texts in the past month, and he's one of the few I really talk to ), and I've sort of found out how I really do like him. The only thing is, now that I've found out how much I really like him, I'm actually nervous to talk to him, about anything, in fear of annoying him. Is that a bad thing, or am I being totally crazy? Help!

And Dess, I hope everything does go okay with him. Guys can be insanely confusing. But just try the exam thing... even if that doesn't work, I've learned how far a simple stare and smile or "Hi." can go, haha. Even trying to find out something about what he likes to strike up a conversation could be great and work. Gosh, sometimes I think I'm too boy crazy because I try so many things, ha.

This is going to sound really dumb, but I think I need assurance anyway.
So I have a really good friend S who is originally from Brazil (I live in Ohio) but is temporarily on a foreign exchange program here. He leaves Saturday, and tonight, some church friends T, K, and E were supposedly throwing him a surprise party at church leader M's house. Well, try as I might, I couldn't find the house marked the number on the invitation, so I called my sister and she looked up directions, and I was exactly in the right place but no one was home. So, upset and disappointed, I tried church, but the party wasn't there either. I feel like, if the party was moved or canceled or changed, I would have been informed, but no one ever called or texted or Facebooked me or anything. Is it just me? Do they just not like me?

And mugglelovrspew, I'm in a similar situation with a guy who's my best friend. I would just relax around him and be yourself, because he obviously likes you enough to be friends with you, even if you do annoy him sometimes. I hope that helps =)

I'm in need of advice if anyone can kindly donate a spare minute.

Basically I am unsure whether to continue with university when I move countries. Education is quite superficial where I am from and in the current state of affairs everyone leaves uni with degrees of some sort, thus diluting the importance of the qualifications. Is there really a point? Most people who graduate in my country can't find work based on their degree anyway.

still_hhr_fan, my opinion is that they're either jerks who didn't want you there and gave you an invitation to humilate you, which is very cruel, or they had someone who was going to tell you it was changed, and that person forgot. I'm going with the latter, because if you're seriously really good friends with S, then they would want you there and most likely ask where you were and what not, you know? If this doesn't help, sorry. And thanks for your piece of advice

harryjpotter, in my opinion, education is really important. But if you're sure that you're not going to need a degree at all when you go back, then that's really your own choice. I would be thinking about long term things, because in today's society, you never know if the companies may change their minds and decide they rather have people who really have people who know what they're doing... I hope this helps!

mugglelovrspew -



I don't think I could give you better advice than that. I hope it all works out for you!

still_hhr_fan -

Have you asked them about it? Maybe there was a mistake on everyone's invitation, or maybe there was a genuine mix up. But if it turns they did do that just to keep you out of it, I think you should rethink your friendship with them. No one should do that to anyone. But I'm sure it was just a mistake, and you were meant to go.

harryjpotter -

Well, I think you need to look at whether or not going to university will set you back. Obviously, if it will, and you're absolutely positive it means absolutely nothing, you shouldn't go. But I personally think you should go if you can, because the degree may come in handy some day and it would be a good experience to live through.


As for me, I have a problem that requires quite a lot of explaining. Basically, I go to quite a competetive girl's school and I'm a scholar there. I'm really rather academically agressive, so my class knows that, modesty aside, I'm probably one of the smartest in the year. In the last academic year, it was quite normal for girls to ask me if they could copy my homework - particularly these two girls A and L. I've always quite emotionally sensitive and I knew that I had to be careful with those two as they are, let's just say not the nicest people in the whole class. Somehow or other though, I can't actually remember how, I managed to get them to stop asking me during this academic year and they started bothering other people.

However, my surname starts with S and they are both Ts, and the layout of the desk during this year's summer exams meant that we were all sitting at the back of the classroom in a row, slightly separated, with me on the left, L in the middle and A on her right. The first day of exams passed without event, mainly because I was still adjusting to the time limits so I was scribbling away right up until when we had to stop. However, on the second day, the chemistry paper wasn't particularly challenging so I finished a good half hour within the time limit. Seeing I was unoccupied, L caught my eye and began flicking through the paper, finding the questions she hadn't answered and pointing to them, making it quite clear what she wanted. Again, I was faced with a similar situation as with the homework, and at the time all I could do was flip through my own work and let her have all the answers she needed; A would then copy them over her shoulder, so they were both copying off me.

Over the rest of the exam week, they continued to cheat shamelessly. When they could, they would ask me for answers, and when they couldn't L would just copy them while I was working and A would then copy them off her. Even in the Religious Studies exam - I didn't even know you could cheat in an R.S. exam, because it's mostly opinionated - L had copied the whole revision sheet onto her phone and had her phone under the desk during the exam, and A stuck her revision sheet to the back of the chair in front of her. I talked to my parents about the problems I was having with the two of them, and I managed to come up with an effective method to stop them cheating off me in the last exam - Physics. They then had to copy off each other, got most of it wrong, and therefore got caught out and had to retake the paper, so there was a little justice.

My main dilema, however, concerns next academic year. I go back to school in September and I am really worried that, because I let them copy me in the exams, L and A will now expect the same with homework. I usually spend a lot of time and effort on my homework, so I don't want that to happen, but I'm still afraid to just flat out tell them 'no', especially after this year when there was a lot of nasty stuff happening to this girl, C; now I know what they can really do and I don't want that kind of emotional trauma in such a key year as next year, when I will be choosing my GCSEs (Muggle OWLs ). I've talked to my parents and that helped a bit. I also plan to talk to my form tutor in September, but I'm not sure how much that'll help, as I don;t want her to get involved - that'll just make it worse. I desperately need advice - any is appreciated!!

Ellie
xxx

Alastorlet_and_Proud!, in my younger years I was shy and wanted everyone to like me so I wouldn't have any problems. And because of that I only had one true friend...everyone else just used me.

When I got to high school I changed. I looked out for #1...ME! If something was going on that made me uncomfortable or if someone was attacking me verbally I didn't back down. My self conscience and pride was worth more than any crap they could put me through.

IF I was in your situation I'd tell them to leave me alone and do their own work...or else find someone else to cheat off of. And if they don't I'd threaten to expose them for what they are...cheaters. You need to keep your conscience clear. There's so much more to life that's worth stressing over...like school and exams and not mean girls that don't get their way. Besides...what will happen if YOU get caught giving them answers? That's something you really don't want to risk.

I know it's easier said than done. I've been there. And it got harder before it got easier...but you can't be a push over...you risk them never leaving you alone. All the time you put into homework and exams is for your future...why should other people that don't care take advantage of your hard work? I'd tell them to bug off and leave you alone OR ELSE!


Dawn

And congratulations at being one of the highest in your year. That's a great accomplishment and it's YOUR accomplishment! I hope this helps...

Thanks so much for your advice Dawn. Just reading it made me feel a little more confident about just saying no to them. You're right, there's so much more to my life than them, and they shouldn't be dictating what I do. Thanks again. And thanks for your congratulations as well

Ellie
xxx

Just an update:

Your alls' advice worked enough for me I relaxed around him and well, yeah.. Haha. But I wish I could give advice. I always seem to be going more for it, rather than giving anything productive. I suppose I need more experiences.

Alastorlet_and_Proud! , I'm glad I could help if only a little. You should feel confident, you're very intelligent! Hermione would be so proud of you!

mugglelovrspew, There's nothing wrong with always asking for advice and not being able to give it. Life experiences bring wisdom. I'm sure if someone needed you about a situation you've had to deal with, you'll be able to give them advice that helped you.


Dawn

Ok, i need some advice so here goes.... *takes a deep breath*

So over the past 7 months i have developed the worrying habit. If, like, a friend didn't say 'Goodbye!' in a cheerful or friendly way, then i will drive crazy and be like 'Does she hate me? If she does, will she tell the entire school about the things i said to her?' Or maybe sometimes my friends are talking about the popular people in school, then i would be worried that someone on the street knew them and will tell them. Now it really sort of terrifies me to type something here, i feel like someone i know may read it and laugh about it. Really, worry made me wake up several times a night. Besides that, i feel dizzy all the time, my stomach gets upset easily.

I bought the 'How to Stop Worrying and Start Living' book but i have trouble following it. Besides my worrying, something that happened two weeks ago scared me to death. Ok, so me and mjy friend were going home after a camping trip and we were taking the subway and this really old women said: 'Do you know how to go XXXX?' We were like, 'Yeah?' and she said 'Well can you take me there?' We promised.

Up to that point everything was OK, but then she asked me for my number! Because she wants to introduce me to her daughter! I said no. But infortunately she knows which school i am going to! SO everyday i am afraid i will get stalked and maybe get my intestines poked out or something horrible.

That's basically what's going on with my life. And to make it worse, i usually have to rely on excessive entertainment to keep me from worrying. This is quite unhealthy. And my dad, who told me weeks ago that he thinks i am useless. I cried for like an hour, he doesn't know how i wrestle with my worries, my friendship problems... All he cared about was my grades. Don't get me wrong, he loves me very much. But when i am trying to tell him about my worries , he'll say 'It's annoying! Will you just stop worrying?'

Well.... i really hope someone can help me out here. Thanks.

Hello, Eveie

What you are describing is anxiety, and quite severe anxiety. Lots of things can cause it, although in you're case it seems that everyday situations cause you to become anxious, as opposed to more particular situations. Withdrawl from antidressants is one cause, So if you have been taking antidepressants, and have recently stopped, see the doctor who prescribed them to you.

On the other hand, you seem quite worried about things like people not liking you. It may help release you're anxiety if you remember that - although it would be nice to get along with everyone - it does not actually matter if people do not like you. Rationalize it to yourself; what happens if a person stops/does not like you? Nothing at all! Their loss

In any case, anxiety interfares with day-to-day life, and if ignored can develop into depression, or drug/alcohol dependency. You should see you're doctor.

Hope everything goes well for you!

EDIT: Aww shux Have a nice day

Thanks so much, siriuslyinlove I will try my best not to worry so much. You know, after reading your advice, i realised that you were right: If people don't like me, so what! I feel better now after getting some comfort

Once again, thanks!

ah, so i need some help (inhale, exhale) :
i used to be best friends with this 2 people, and we were close. the past tense being the key words there. we got into a stupid fight and we were talking. i went on vacation without sorting it out (i know, probably stupid, but we got into a fight the day before i left). i came back, ready to apologize, when my other friend tells me that they've been calling me uuhh, bad words that will just be censored out anyways.
of course i'm going to get mad at that. now they're blaming their rude behavior on me; i apprently "brainwashed" them. no, not just to be rude to me, but to everyone. i'm a naturally nice person; i have reasons why i'm rude to people, like if they were an ex-stalker, or someone who i've heard and seen do bad things. but i admit, i can be tempermental. i have a horrible rage, and i hold grudges. but is this too much? am i being too injust for being mad about this? i told my friend to tell them that if they don't stop bothering me, i will tell the things that they've lied about (they dislike this girl, and constanstly are rude and mean to her behind her back). but i'm honestly tired of being walked all over, please help?

I think you need to sort things out with those friends to begin with. If you're sick of them treating you horribly, then you should tell them how annoyed you are. You've got nothing to lose anyways. You need to make clear how you feel and talk things though, the reasons why you fought and every grudge you or they might be holding. As soon as you sort this out, you need to sit down and think if you've been rude to people. Sometimes, we don't realise that we might hurt someone by our words or actions. Just because some things sound normal to us, this doesn't mean that everyone has the same perspective as we do. So maybe you need to ask your friends/siblings/parents if you've hurt them through your behavior. It's kind of hard to see ourselves clearly. Only others can show us who we are and how we act, because we can never be impartial when it comes to us.

Just take it easy, calm down, and talk to them. It's the best thing you can do. Let them know about everything that anoyed you. If they are true friends, they will talk to you and try to fix things.

Also, if you feel people are "walking all over you", then you need to speak up and show them that you will no longer be manipulated. You've got to show your strength, and trust me, people will stop doing that.

Let us know how it went!

Ok, i hope i don't come across as someone annoying, but um... today i went to see a therapist about my worries: the biggest one i sbeing stalked. And i felt ok afterwards until i tried to remember whether she knew my name or not. Me and my friend may have talked to each other and she would know(i mean the old lady). What if she goes to the school gate and ask everyone whether i had came out or not? Should I save this question for the next therapy session? Anyhow, i am worried.... please give me some advice.

Okay, so you know that guy that I was talking about before?? So yeah, you know, he told me he liked me. We've even held hands a couple of times...but we're not dating. Am I just rushing things or am I right to be worrying? I mean, we told each other we liked each other in July. And we've held hands and talk and stuff recently... Could someone help me with this confusion? I have no clue whether I should just not worry about it or...ugh, boys confuse me. I've given up; all of them do, haha. Very few have I figured out.

Eveie, I think you're exaggerating. I haven't seen the lady obviously, but it's very possible she might have a daughter who is a loner. My mum is a very social person as well. She wouldn't go around asking for people's numbers, but if she met a girl and she found out we had something in common (like living in the same neighborhood or going to the same dance studio), she would talk about me. Mums do that sometimes. Don't worry about it. If you do see her in school though, go call a teacher and explain them what happened. They will find a way to help you. I'm sure however this lady is not going to hurt you. So relax.


Kiersten, you're worried about whether you are dating "exclusively"? Why don't you ask him in a nice subtle way? To just figure out what's the thing between you. But my main advice is not to worry. Go with the flow. Don't fall too hard for that guy but enjoy the time you spend with him. You're too young to worry about relationship-y stuff, so try to be casual to gain the best from this. It's all about having fun in the end, isn't it?

Thanks! I feel better now! Thanks for the advice.

Glad my post made you feel better, but please, do not post one-liners. Take a look at the Rules!

alkisti - thank you so much, i have calmed down alot now, but i definitely know our friendship is over. well, at least i can say it was nice while it lasted. i stood up for myself too and now they stopped (at least for awhile). again, thank you so much(:

My boyfriend is going through a really hard time right now. His mom is really mean to him all the time, like insulting him and just putting him down. He is now grounded for two weeks and I think he also got his phone taken away. I want to help him somehow but I don't see how that's possible since he can't go anywhere. I just want to know how I can help him.

Hi Padfoot, Prongs and Moony, I'm sorry about your boyfriend. It sounds like he's in a very difficult situation. I was thinking that maybe you could write him a letter and either give it to him at school, if you are in school together, or give it to one of his friends to give to him or even mail it. It would be nice for him to hear from you and since he may not have his phone, old fashioned letters might be the best option. I'm sure your letter would make him feel better and he would know that you care about him.

I hope things get better soon.
Lisa

Hello, people.

How do you prevent yourself from liking someone? It would be most unwise to allow oneself to develop feelings for this boy, so how do i not? Avoiding him is not an option. Perhaps the rubber-band trick (wear a rubber-band around the wrist, and flick yourself whenever you do or think about a particular thing)?

Sorry to ask trivial teenager questions. Please help?

♥

Why you can't allow yourself to develop a crush on this boy, Grace? Is it because you don't want to like anyone at the moment, or is it particularly this boy?
Anyway, it's not a trivial question and it's not only teenager! It happens all the time. Haha, the rubber band will be painful, it actually reminds me of the Opus Dei (sorry, if anyone belongs to them). That won't work. I don't think there's a solution to stop liking someone. I happen to like lots of people at the same time; not to like-like, I've got a crush on someone but I also go checking other people And it's hard when you know there're barely any chances to get what you want and try to stop it. But you just have to bear it!
I'm sorry I can't be of any help. Hug?

Wouldnt the rubber band thing be like self-harm? I doubt it would work, anyway.
Personnally, I don't suggest it, I don't think there's a need to take it that far! I also think that, unfortunately, it's very hard to run away from your feelings. I don't think you have control over things like that. Maybe try and see a bright side to liking him (if that's possible...)... what I'm thinking is that trying not to like him might make you want him more.

DeSs: It is both. School is too important for boys at the moment, and this boy is bad news in relationships (romantic or otherwise). And a hug is immensley helpful, thank you very very much

Witherwings: Yes, actually it is a little like self harm, is'nt it? Maybe not then! Looking on the bright side might be worth a go, thank you so much

♥

Hey Siriuslyinlove!!!

Ok so I just came across your post and I have an idea you could try.

Alot of times I find myself in that same situation and what I do is try being friends with the guy for a while. Chances are you will either find a good reason not to like him or that you just want to be friends or you may even find that despite his reputation he should be given a try.

Just try to get to know him and no matter how corny this sounds, just follow your heart. It'll take you where you need to go.

Good Luck
Alykat

Alonnet:

Thank you so much for you're suggestion, it really made me laugh It is true, if you spend enough time with someone, chances are you will find a good reason not to like them Hehehehe. Brilliant. Thanks ♥

I've gotten plenty of different views of advice on this, but more doesn't hurt, does it?

So, I guess it sort of goes along with Grace's question, but I've tried being friends with this boy. I mean, we're close friends, but no matter how hard I try and all the crappy stuff that he gives me, I still can't help but like him... and it hurts to. Is it just something I'll have to deal with personally, or do you have any rememdies to get over these kinds of feelings that I've had for 7 months...

mugglelovrspew, The only remedy I know of is to release your feelings. Let them out and take the weight off your heart. Now with that being said, I'd be scared out of my PJ"s to do anything like that! All I can say is sometimes feelings need to run their course. And eventually they will go away. Maybe you can concentrate on someone else, to take your mind off of your friend.

It really comes down to, keeping your feelings in and letting them pass...OR...being brave enough to let your feelings out and see where they take you.

If you think this kid likes you back, maybe you can test the waters and see if spilling your feelings would be a good choice.

I hope I helped at least a little. I've been in your situation before and I was way to scared of rejection to say anything. I'm 26 now and I have wondered what would of happened if I had said something. But oh well...life moves on.

Just make the right decision for YOU!
Dawn