I'm sorry for your lose, I know how you feel. For a few years now my father has been dying of a liver disease because of drinking and from the medication he was on because he had broken his back. When I was in grade 10 a few days after my birthday I woke up to him one night screaming " GET MOM, CALL THE AMBULANCE" so I did get my mother and she called the ambulance. When I got a better look at him I notices that he was puking up blooding into one of those movie popcorn buckets and it was already half full. That was one of the worst days of my life. I went to school that day and one of my teachers yelled at me because I wasn't paying attention in his class. I broke down crying saying that my father was dying and that he had no right in yelling at me right now. After that I skipped the rest of the day with my best friend Tiff, waiting for my grandmother to come and pick me up so that I can dog sit for my aunt and uncle. That weekend was HELL. My grandma would not leave me alone! But I guess that she just wanted to make sure that I was ok. My dad was in the hospital for 4 months on and off again, each time the doctors would say that he didn't have much of a chance of living. But he did. When he got out he said " you cant kill a viking". He has a viking tattoo so I guess thats where he got that saying from. He was off of work for a few months and then he went back and he started to drink again. Stupid right, but you know how men can be they don't listen. It seem like he was getting better, he was gaining weight, laughing having fun with me and my sister. But that all changed right after my grade 11 exams where done.

My grade 11 year was the worst year of my high school years. I lost one of my childhood friends to suicide and one of my best friends fathers to a massive heart attack. I don't know how my best friend survived that, he loved his dad, everyone did. I seen how strong he was and I didn't know how he was doing that, he knew how many times I had almost lost my dad and what a reck I was. I love how strong Jedd is even today. he has taken up alot of responsibility at the farm that they own. He's grown up and I am so proud of him, I was so happy to see that we graduated together. Joe died at the beginning of the year in september and Rick died at the end of first term exams with was in january. My dad had he relapse on june 24 I was at the community centre with my friends just talking about out summer plans, when my sister steph comes running in screaming "DADS RELAPSING GET YOUR **** **** HOME RIGHT NOW" so I went home. He wasn't bleeding that much not even a 1/2 cup. But that night when he was in the hospital it became worse and he was put into the Intensive Care Unit (ICU). It was horrible, worse than the first time. I spent the whole summer in the hospital just making sure that I would be able to say " I love you Dad" one last time before he dies. I tried so hard to keep myself together, just stay positive. Keep the family together he told me, I am the only sane one in it. I tried but my mom with her drinking and the fighting with her and my sister and me, I just couldn't handle it. So I locked myself downstairs for the whole summer pretty much. The only time that I went out was when I went swimming with my friend Kristy. She was there for me the whole summer, she took care of me, she's around 27 and she's friend with both my parents. She was with us through the first time.

I spent so much time in that hospital I was starting to get used to the smell. One night in the middle of July they had to send my dad the London, Ontario to get surgery on his liver and stuff like that. When the doctor was telling he how they where going to to the operation it was like he was talking about a car that just needed a few repairs. He was down there for a week, my mom and my dads sister when down there. My mother being the smart person she was let my grandma come at take care of us. This ****ed me and my sister off a lot, we are 17 we can take care of ourselves. Lets just say it was not a nice week. I made my grandma cry, not intentionally but I was so stressed and I didn't want to be there I wanted to be left alone, which she wouldn't let me be, it just made it bad.

I can count the times that my dad was so close to death this summer, its about 10. I don't know how he is here today, but I am thankful that he is. He got to see me graduate form high school and now he will be able to see me start college. I realize that people take life for granted, we all know we are going to die someday but we don't know when. Thats the hard part of life. I didn't like how my summer turned out last year but there is nothing that I can do about it. My dad could not be here right now, but he is and I thank god everyday that he is alive. I know that he only have 2 years left to live pretty much so I am going to spend all the time that I can with him.

There is only so much time that we spend on earth, you never know when your life will end. So live it to the fullest. You only live once.

Death still scares the **** out of me because I don't know what is out there. I don't want to leave this world, I don't want to leave my family. But I know what its like lose a loved one and have them come back to you. I think that most people are scared of death and don't understand it, but there is nothing that we can do. It will come when it comes, and more than likely we will NEVER be ready for it.


*Aila*

A boy from my grade was killed in a fire on Saturday.

I don't know how it started, but he lives in a trailer home so the fire spread quickly. The mother was able to get out, and was immediately rushed to the hospital after telling the firemen that her son was inside. The firemen found the burnt body of him in the very back of the trailer.

I didn't know him very well. No one did, actually. He had friends, of course, but not many. And now I feel absolutely horrible about never saying even hi to him. It just....blows my mind that someone I sort of know is...well, dead. It shows how fast people can come and go.

Plus, Sunday was Father's Day and the step-dad he had....can't celebrate it now, because I guess he's really...not a...father any more.

I know it's not as sad as a family member or close friend dying, but it shocks you. It really does. And now I know why people are always so shaken about death. It wakes you up, no matter what happened or who died. I only know about two people who have died besides him, my Great-Grandpa and Great Aunt.

~Angeline

Summer after my second grade year a girl in my class and her cousin died in a fire. Her brother barely escaped with his life, he eventually stabilized after about 2 weeks in critical condition. I see him all the time at the pool I lifeguard at and he went to a camp at my camp this summer. Every time I see him I think of her and how her life was cut so short.


I don't think I ever posted about this but over the summer my brother was robbed at gunpoint. He had just withdrew money from an ATM when the guy jumped him... he gave him the money and the guy left. If I hadn't already had my license I probably would have been in the car because he was on the way home from the camp we both work at and before I got my license I always had to get rides to and from camp with him.

I haven't been around here in months but I had a moment.

First off Weasley Lover I'm glad your dad is still with you. It's great that you don't take any moment for granted because you've seen that can all go away very fast. Keep strong and enjoy life.

I send out a big hug to those who are dealing with loss. It's a horrible thing to go through but if you push through it will make you a stronger person.

What would you think about if you were buried alive? Imagine if you suddenly woke up and you were 10 feet under ground. What would you're thoughts be? You know you're going to die there but would you find a way to end it faster?

Oh man I think I would find a way to end it or at least knock myself out for a while! The knowledge of being covered by earth is enough to make anyone crazy! That would be such a horrible thing that I'd eventually think of a way to end it.

Would you guys ever consider working at a morgue? Would it bother you to be surrounded by dead people who twitch and move at times?

I think I've answered this before but I can't be bothered to check. The dead shouldn't be feared... it's the living who should worry us! Being around dead people would be a quiet job. I don't hink I'd have an issue with it.

Have you ever thought about what is going to happen to all of your possessions when you die? Ever thought about writing a will?

As a joke I have. I've said I wanted my books to be given to different people. I want happy music at my funeral and well really all I have is my books and my locket. The locket goes to which ever of my siblings has kids by then . I think the least important thing to worry about are the things you leave behind.

So I was thinking about a very dear friend of mind that died about 6 years ago. I hadn't spoken to him for a while but we were so close before I moved away. Now we didn't keep in touch because my purse that had all my friend's info was lost on the way here (Mexico). One day I get an e-mail from another friend who was always a cold guy. He told me without any preamble that my friend had died. It hit me hard but whatever. The question I've been pondering is:

If someone had to break the news to you about the death of a loved one, how would you rather get the news? In a very straight-forward way or in a soft kind of beat around the bush way?

-Stef

Definitely straight-forward. I remember when my grandfather died I was told in a sort of in between way. It was like everyone was trying to beat around the bush but in the end they couldn't and they just had to tell me. I know it's because they still think of me as a kid so they didn't want to come out and say it but I'm 18, technically an adult and I guess they realised that in the end.

But I'd want to know, straight away, I wouldn't people to be all sad and upset about telling me, just be sad and upset about the death... I'd want to know there and then not wait for someone to get it out.

Kelly
x

I'd want it in a straightforward way as well. Nobody actually told me my mom died. She had breast cancer and was put on hospice, so we had her at our home. I was sitting upstairs in my room with my brother when our neighbor's husband came upstairs and whispered something to my brother and he bolted out of the room. I sat there, staring at the wall for a few minutes until I realized he must've bolted out of the room for a significant reason (I was 16).

How do you handle the death of a family member or close friend? What do you do? How do you feel?
Only until the previous summer, was I oblivious to death. My great-grandma who I loved dearly passed away this summer...and it came so soon. I had seen her a few weeks before her death, and she had a cute pink beanie hat on, and I thought, Oh, she's doing so well at this age. And then...my grandma called our family saying that my great-grandma only had a few days to live. Relatives came from across the country to say their goodbyes. The doctors couldn't do anything about it, and she just lay there in that hospital. I won't go into detail about her condition, but it left me shocked and squeamish. How could my poor great-grandma be suddenly in good shape...to on her death bed? My younger brother was also confused. We cried together and the night before her death, we watched a Patrick Swayze movie (before he died, as well): Ghost. We were supposed to be asleep hours ago, for we were sleeping over my grandma's house while all the older relatives were at the hospital. But we decided to watch the rest of the movie...and then we fell asleep.
That morning, something didn't feel right. There was something wrong that morning. The house was too quiet. Then I heard my uncle's wife on the phone, saying things like "I know this is hard on your family" and "I'm so sorry." But I was only half-awake, and couldn't think as sharp. I only remember thinking Oh no...she didn't die did she? For there were so many other things I wanted to whisper in her ear the next time I visited her at the hospital.
My aunt walked into the room with a sad smile on her face. She broke the news to us gently: Our great-grandmother had passed.
I was still tired from the night before, and couldn't comprehend the news. After she left the room with my brother, I took a shower and just pondered on her death. I cried a little, but it was still too soon for me to accept it.
Her funeral was the day I had cracked. I cried so hard, I felt like I could never cry any more. Even to this day her death comes as a surprise to me...it was only last August. But every night I pray to her, and hope she does okay. I know now she is in the perfect realm of bliss, and Heaven will do her well. I can't doubt it now, because I don't want to think that her soul is lost for ever. It's got to be recycled or put into somewhere else, and that's where I get my beliefs from.
Death is a scary and sad thing, but it's essential. It's another journey that everyone needs to go on. The journey through life, and the journey through death. If you think of it that way, it's not so scary. Just live your life, everyone, and it'll be alright.

El Barto that must have been a really hard experience. The loss of a parents must be very hard. But what JuicyWitch said is true, death is a part of life.

I think since many of us are "adults" or at least close to being adults we'd want to know very straightforward. I dunno if that would apply to children. How would you tell a kid that their parent is gone or that thier beloved sibling is gone? I've known kids who understand it perfectly and are saddened by the situation but take it better than adults but I've also known children who spend weeks asking for the person.

Such is the case of my friend's niece. She was 5ish when he died. Her grandma tried to tell her in a very straightforward way but it didn't work. She didn't understand it at all. She asked for him all the time like if she knew something was wrong. He lived away from home so she didn't see him very often but since he died she asked about him a lot. Her mom began to tell her in a very subtle way that he was gone. It was the only way she understood it. To the day she stills asks about him but in a different way. He was the only paternal figure she'd ever known so she's still trying to understand it. It's been a year.

I dunno about you guys but I think it'd be harder to tell someone that their loved one was dead than to actually take the news.

Do you think it's harder to inform someone that a loved one has died than to get the news about a death?

-Stef

A kid I went to grade school with that's just a year older than me died yesterday. He presumably committed suicide by jumping off a bridge but they aren't sure and they have yet to recover his body. I hope anyone who reads this will keep his family in your thoughts/prayers even if you don't know who it is. Here's a story on it:

http://www.ketv.com/news/22502577/detail.html

My cousin Becca's death in July of 2009 really shook my family. When I heard the news, my mother and my two sisters and I were on our way home, just 1 more state to go. We were in the middle of road construction, and my mom had a hard time trying to find a place to pull over and tell us. My first reaction was screaming, it was like I was trying to be louder than the trucks passing by. We held each other for what seemed like an eternity. The whole way home, I just sat, staring forward, while my older sister was holding me. I was in shock, I finally convinced myself that it was a nightmare, it wasn't real. I did nothing. It only really hit me the next day, when I saw an e-mail my cousin sent from the day before the accident - she asked me if my sisters and I wanted to go camping with her and her sister, we would be leaving that night. I still can't quite grasp the concept of death, but I know now that no one is untouchable. At the funeral I really, desperately, wanted to see her, to try to remember how beautiful she was, but I realized that I didn't want my memories to be tainted with her stone face, which was almost always flushed. One of my sisters and I were the only ones that I know of that didn't see her in the casket. Now I can't stand letting someone out of my sight without telling them how much I appreciate them, without saying "I love you", because Becca never got that chance. I can't believe how someone like her could go. She was pure, funny, beautiful beyond imagination... well no words could really sum her up. She was 18, and she wanted to be a children's teacher. No one can really get over a death, but they can accept it. I never have, and I never will be able to. I don't know how it's affected me, but maybe some people close to me have noticed. Life is a battle everyday, and no one wants to lose.

rebel_megz, I am so so sorry to hear about your cousin. It really is a tragedy for a person so young to be taken away. I'll be keeping your family in my prayers. You never forget the loss of a loved one, but in time it does get a bit easier.

HJP/HJG_TrueLove, That's so sad. I hope they figure out what happened soon in hopes for some sort of closure. I'll keep his family in my prayers as well.

How do you handle the death of a family member or close friend? What do you do? How do you feel?

I don't know why I came into this thread...it's so sad!

I have had 3 people close to me pass away and all under different circumstances. My grandpa was first. He was suffering from lung cancer. He and my grandma wanted to stay with us while he went through radiation and inevitably his death. I was about 12 at the time.

My family wouldn't let the younger kids in the room when he passed. I was sitting outside on the tailgate of my dad's truck with my cousin when the whole family came out and told us he was gone. I just remember screaming and saying over and over "This isn't real". Although I was prepared and knew it was coming, when it finally happened it was like my world crumbled. My grandpa was such a strong, wise and loving man. One of the best people I've ever had the pleasure to know. The funeral was horrible. I saw him in the casket and I wish I didn't. It didn't look like him. His features were all wrong and I think that upset me more than anything.

My grandma died a few years later of a heart attack. Which was odd since she had just had a physical and everything was fine. That was a blow that really hit the entire family. Very unexpected! My mom wasn't home when I got the phone call from my aunt. That was really hard. The moment my mom saw my red, wet face she knew something was wrong. It wasn't easy telling my mom that her mother died. We raced to Miami the minute I told her to be with rest of the family. I feel the same way about my grandma that I do about my grandpa. She was a spit fire. Full of life, also helping others, funny, just amazing!

Most recently, my dad passed away a couple years ago and I think that was the hardest for me. Since my parents are divorced, I had to deal with my step-mother and HER kids. They left me out of everything. Not only because they are selfish but I think because right before my dad died he wouldn't speak to any of them, only me. He had been sick for some time but went down hill really fast. four days after I visted him he was gone. Well, I have a bunch of mixed feelings about this, most of which would get me kicked off of VTM so...I'm just going to move on.

Do you think it's harder to inform someone that a loved one has died than to get the news about a death?

Well, since I've experienced both I have to say that for me...it was harder telling my mom that my grandma had died. I never ever want to see that look on my mom's face or anyone's for that matter for as long as I live. To see pain on my mom's face and to know that the words that came out of my mouth put that pain there was unbearable.

What would you think about if you were buried alive? Imagine if you suddenly woke up and you were 10 feet under ground. What would you're thoughts be? You know you're going to die there but would you find a way to end it faster?

I would completely freak out! I would probably try and think of a McGiver episode where I could use my socks, a watch and the heals of my shoes to escape. Realizing that it wouldn't work, I'd probably tear away the lining of the coffin and write some sort of message, stay calm and hopefully die peacefully.

Would you guys ever consider working at a morgue? Would it bother you to be surrounded by dead people who twitch and move at times?
I could NEVER work in a morgue. I would feel weirded out and the smell would really get to me. I'm not a big fan of dead bodies, so I'd probably throw up everyday. I just couldn't do it...no way no how.

Have you ever thought about what is going to happen to all of your possessions when you die? Ever thought about writing a will?
I have thought about writing a will. Although I don't think my family would have many problems going through my things and making sure my wishes were met. My mom knows specifics on certain items of mine that mean the most to me.

If someone had to break the news to you about the death of a loved one, how would you rather get the news? In a very straight-forward way or in a soft kind of beat around the bush way?

I would want someone to be straight forward and tell me what happened. Sugar coating bad news like that only makes it last longer.

Okay that's all for today. I'm super depressed now. I just want to add that for everyone that has lost family members, friends and acquaintances...I'm sorry and I feel for you. Slowly in time, things will get better.

Dawn

First of all I want to express my condolences to those of you who have lost loved ones recently. May they rest in peace.

How do you handle the death of a family member or close friend? What do you do? How do you feel?

I lost my Mother in 2005. My Mom was in the hospital just a couple of days with a diagnosis of a "mild heart acttack" when she passed away unexpectedly. One of my brothers called me with the sad news. I remember being in total shock. Since I'm the oldest I felt an obligation to notify the rest of the family, a brother who lives in Los Angeles, and a sister who lives in Dallas. My brother in Los Angeles totally freaked and called me a liar and why would I say such things. I eventually calmed him down. My sister took the news just as hard, and she couldn't stop crying. I didn't cry until a couple of hours later when I was in the shower. I bawled my eyes out. You couldn't tell the tears from the water.

Do you think it's harder to inform someone that a loved one has died than to get the news about a death?

For me, yes, I think it's harder to inform someone else of a loved ones death. It was for me personally and, as a nurse, I've had to console family members of a patient who had just died. The doctor is the one that needs to let the family know of the patient's death, yet often times it falls on our (nurse's) shoulders. This is difficult for me.


What would you think about if you were buried alive? Imagine if you suddenly woke up and you were 10 feet under ground. What would you're thoughts be? You know you're going to die there but would you find a way to end it faster?

I've seen plenty of television shows and movies where someone has been buried alive but for the life of me (no pun intended) I just can't see this happening in real life. Never the less, to answer the question ... I have to say that like everyone else I too would freak out, cry, and yell so loudly I'd break an eardrum, but eventually I would come to the realization that no one will come to my rescue. I would have no choice but to lay there, in the total darkness, and pray that I fall asleep quickly (an end result of oxygen deprivation). And, that's another thing - I think I will pray a lot. Not so much for a rescue or a miracle, but for God's forgiveness of my sins. I want to go to Heaven, no matter how I die!


Would you guys ever consider working at a morgue? Would it bother you to be surrounded by dead people who twitch and move at times?
Quite honestly, I don't think I'd mind it so much, but I'm a Registered Nurse and I would much prefer to work with the living. If I did work in a morgue, I suppose I would get used to and even expect some post-mortem muscular movements and noises. So, no, it wouldn't bother me.

Have you ever thought about what is going to happen to all of your possessions when you die? Ever thought about writing a will?
I have a will. I also have designated certain pieces of jewelry and furniture that I want family to have. I want some pieces to stay in the family. However, I don't want family to bicker or fight over certain pieces of jewelry (that my Mother left to me), so I do plan to give these items away while I'm still living. This way there isn't any of my Mom's jewelry to fight over.

If someone had to break the news to you about the death of a loved one, how would you rather get the news? In a very straight-forward way or in a soft kind of beat around the bush way?

For me, I say give it to me straight forward, but everyone is different. e.g. if the member of the family receiving the news is very emotional or fragile (pregnant or has a bad heart), then I would say that a couple of family members, or good friends, should tell this individual the news in person and to break the news gently to them.