Hi, I've created this thread to discuss death and give advice to those who experience it.

As for me, I have a question...

How do you handle the death of a family member or close friend? What do you do? How do you feel?

I'm asking this personally for me. A close friend just passed and I am at a complete lost. If feel sad and I know that's right to feel...but what do I feel besides that? Am I supposed to call the husband? What do I say at the funeral and calling hours?

I, fortunately have never had to experience death before this and I have no clue what to do, please help?



I've also created this thread to discuss your thoughts on death? Any at all?

I'm terribly sorry for your loss HJP and I wish you and the family all the best.

How do you handle the death of a family member or close friend? What do you do? How do you feel?

I know what it's like to lose family members and close friends. I've lost many in my life, simply because of the age difference between my parents and their siblings. My other relatives in my generation are adults and have kids already, so you can see how this makes things difficult.

The hardest loss for me was when my grandmother died a couple years ago. July 8, 2006-the day before my birthday. She had been very ill with a disease called Friedreich's ataxia, which is an inherited disease that is basically a form of muscular dystrophy and it attacks your nervous system. She had been in the hospital for months and I remember how my family and I went down to where she was and I had to babysit my brother for 3 days all alone in my grandfather's house while everyone in my large family was at the hospital. It wasn't an easy time for a 12 year old.

She passed on that day and I remember not knowing what to say. How can you know what to say when someone you've known forever is gone and you never even got to say goodbye? I'm not very good at expressing emotions outward, I kept everything bottled up. I felt numb and dead for a couple days, well actually I have yet to actually cry for the loss. It may sound cold-hearted but its just the way I deal with things. When a loved one dies, I am the strong support that consoles people, including my parents. At the funeral and such I would talk to people about her and we basically shared a lot of memories about her. There wasn't a set way to do things, we just said what we felt and helped each other get through the hard time. It was the same when my uncle died a couple years before that as well, but everyone does things differently.

--x Lauren

Lauren-





Thank you very much. It's been tough but life still goes on, even if it doesn't feel like it should.


And I'm very sorry about your losses; my best for your family as well.




I wanted to commend you on surviving through your birthday that year, for I don't know if I could've. I am too, very close with my grandmother and I regret the day that I have to attend her funeral (although she's like DD and excepts death very well). It must have been very hard to swallow...Friedreich's ataxia? Now I've never heard of that. Is it a rare disease? It sounds awful and I feel so very sorry for your grandmother.





I wouldn't know what you would say to someone in that situation. All I think you can say is that you love them and you'll miss them and that they'll always be in your heart. I actually had a grandfather that died two years before I was born. However, everyone says that I've gotten almost every trait from him (personality wise and looks wise). And it was so hard to grow up without one of my grandparents, especially when I was said to be a spitting image of him. I wish that I could've met him once, so that I could see for myself. It is said to be one of life's greatest treasures, your ancestors.

I'm not the best at expressing outward emotions either, especially since my parents split up. I really just hold it inside as much as I can. And I know it isn't healthy but sometimes I question that logic. Why is it unhealthy to keep some things inside? Not everything but just some things, especially about the death of a close family member.

As for this loss that I have recently suffered...I still have yet to cry as well. It's not that I'm not sad or upset by the news...I'm devastated; but I think my mind has yet to process and then believe the information it's receiving. The funeral is coming up so maybe my mind will process it all then, but as of right now, I think it's just my mind's lack of comprehension.


-Nick
HJP


Hey, thanks a bunch for posting Ginny.Weasley!

Friedreich's ataxia is a genetic disorder that is pretty rare I believe. I'm not sure the exact specifics, only what my parents have told me and I have no desire to look it up anytime soon. But basically like I said before, it's a disease that completely destroys your body. My grandmother was one of the strongest people I know and she never let this illness stop her. Thankfully for our entire family we didn't know the life expectancy of a person with this disease. Right before she went into the hospital for the final time, my parents looked up the details of the disease online and apparently it is rare for someone with the disease to live into their 40's. My grandmother had just turned 65 before she died. She defied all the odds and this sort of eased the pain a little bit; knowing that she had fought right until the end and never gave up.



My brother and I have gone through similar things. My grandfather on my mother's side died before even I was born, but my mother always says that my younger brother looks just like him. It's hard isn't it? You hear things about how you look like someone else but you've never even met them.

Myself, I'm always told that I look like my grandmother (the one that had FA). Thankfully I did get to know her for those years.



This is a question I often think about and I still don't know if I have any answers for myself. It just seems so much more convinient to keep things inside, instead of having to find words to explain the turmoil inside. One of the main reasons I don't speak is because I don't want to 'drop my problems on someone else'. I just find keeping things in works for me.


No problem! Call me Lauren by the way, it's easier to type. I'm glad I found this thread, unfortunately for my family we have had a lot of deaths in recent years so I speak from experience.

--x Lauren

Lauren,

You're right, it is much easier to type

That is awesome that your grandmother defied the odds like that. I actually have a friend who's mother has had cancer something like 12 times and currently has bone cancer, liver cancer, and a brain tumor. She was told she was going to die about 6 years ago and she's still alive. I know that it makes her family so proud of her and makes her stronger just to know that she isn't a member of the ongoing trend.

As for me...if I ever come down with a disease that puts a timeline on my life...I don't know if I would want to find out. I would then feel rushed and regretful about everything I haven't done. I really think that I would be happier if I just lived my life until that times comes. But alas, I have no experience in either side so...yeah.





It is very hard. I always get a little uneasy when my mom mentions my grandfather and how it was too bad that I didn't meet him. It just makes me feel bad that the person I'm most like is gone. But I guess you can't get everything in life.





It does make so much sense to keep those deep feelings inside. And I know exactly what you mean; I hate feeling like I'm a burden to people. I talk about things with parents, friends, etc. However, some of the deeper and most personal things I keep to myself. It may be unhealthy, but it works.




I'm glad you found it too, and I'm sorry that your family has experienced so much death recently.


-Nick
HJP

P.S.- I encourage anyone reading this to post .

Nick,


Yeah I'm not sure that I would want to know. And for me personally, say it were a terminal disease and all they could do is put me on some serious meds that would deter me from being able to do things, I think I would want to wait and do all the things I've always wanted to first. Of course, this is only if I were to get it when I'm young and I haven't achieved everything I wanted to in life. It sounds silly, but that's just how it is.


I agree.

A question; Do you ever get scared thinking about death? Or have you just accepted that it's a fact of life?

--x Lauren

Have you ever seen the movie Bucket List? It was just released a little bit ago, but it was all about this theory of yours (which I agree with).

It's about...

.

But yeah, what you said reminded me of that movie.


Do you ever get scared thinking about death? Or have you just accepted that it's a fact of life?


I used to get scared a lot about death. I always got that empty feeling inside whenever I thought about it. The scariest part for me about death was the fact that (for all we know), this 75 year life is it, forever. However, I've come to accept death as a part of life and I'd like to say I've matured to the point where I am no longer scared of death anymore. But I will not say that I'm perfectly comfortable with it, like some of those elderly people who welcome it as a friend. I naturally don't want to die any time soon.

How do you feel about death?

-Nick
HJP

I haven't seen it yet, but I wanted to after I saw the trailers. I'm definitely going to rent it soon.


How I feel about death...well I know its inevitable obviously. And the thought about it being over and really the unknown freaked me out for a while. There's all the questions right about what happened when after you die and such and the unknown just sort of scared me. But now I have an 'awareness' about it, like I know it's going to happen but I try not to worry about it.

Because of this, I've come to terms with many of my irrational fears. I used to be scared of roller coasters because of this fear that they would go flying off the track or something. Or, I would miss amazing opportunities because I'd be afraid of speaking and risking rejection or being told no. But now that I've accepted that we only live once, I've decided to just live life and not worry about the irrational things. And it is much healthier.

--x Lauren

That's awesome! Good for you

I've actually done the same thing, basically. I'm no longer in fear of rejection. I realize that I only live once and only have a certain time to live, so I try and never hold myself back. In fact, most of the things that I don't do are not because of the chance I might die but because of physical fear. Take skydiving for example...I haven't done it yet because I'm afraid of the height and free falling part. Now I'm not afraid that my chute won't open...instead I'm afraid of having that 'falling feeling' in my stomach the whole time. In fact, the chute not opening is the least of my worries.

I actually took an astronomy course in my second semester of college. And it really opened my eyes to the universe we live in and how we are so small and insignificant. At first, I didn't believe how small we are and when my teacher said that we could be snuffed out in the blink of an eye and no one looking at the universe would notice, I was in awe. However, after taking that course, I realize my place in the universe and I've realized that all I can do in this life is live it well and enjoy it.

I have a question for you...If you had to die to save someone, would you do it? More specifically, a total stranger?


Personally, I know that I would die for my family any day. But to die for a total stranger? I would like to say 'most definitely,' but I'm not sure if I would do it when it counted. I would risk my life, sure; but I don't know if I could knowingly lay down my life on a whim to save someone. I think I could; I hope I could, but I honestly can't promise I wouldn't freeze up.

-Nick
HJP

-Nick
HJP

I've taken astronomy courses too and I found it pretty shocking actually how insignificant we truly are. Our entire solar system could be wiped out and it wouldn't really matter so much in the grand scheme of the universe. And then here we are, these little specks on one tiny planet. How humbling that thought can be.

If you had to die to save someone, would you do it? More specifically, a total stranger?

If it were a family member or one of my close friends, I would do it without a doubt. There's no point to my life without those people and I would hate myself forever if I didn't. Of course I'd be scared, I don't have a calm acceptance of death. But I would do it for them.

For a total stranger, well I'm not so sure. If it were for a larger amount of strangers, like in books and things where one person sacrifices themself for a city or organization, well I'd like to think that I could do it to improve their society. But for one person, I really can't say. Obviously I'd like to say that I would, but could I really? While thinking about it, I know that I would probably freeze, but in the moment I'm not sure what I would do. Would adrenaline take over and I would react without thinking? It's something to think about.

--x Lauren

I think adrenaline plays a big role in that decision. If it kicks in and kick in hard, I think one would be able to sacrifice oneself. However, I've known some people in scary moments who's adrenaline is either nonexistent or not enough. So I guess adrenaline has some play in it.

During my astronomy class, I actually was lectured on the death of a star and the similarity to that of a human. It was rather weird to learn the similarities about it. One of the worst parts is the way a star exists after death. It just cools off for millions and millions of years and it just freezes in space. Then we had to read a book by some scholar who compared this to death of a human. He compared that death to how a human lives, and dies; a body to 'cool off' or decompose. It really puts things into perspective.

-Nick
HJP

Hmm I've never compared the death of a human to that of a star. It sounds interesting though, and I suppose if you thought about it enough it would seem to be true.

But another part that plays a role when people think about death is what comes after. Depending on your beliefs, there are different scenarios that could happen to a person after they die. Maybe that is what scares a lot of people when they think about it. We wonder about what happens to us after we die. Being of the Christian faith, I believe in angels and heaven and the like, but of course everyone's opinion is their own.

--x Lauren

Mind if I join???

Well either way here I am...

My grade school class used to think we were cursed because three years in a row a classmate or a classmates parent died.

About two weeks after second grade ended one of my friends was killed in a fire. Her cousin also passed and her brother spent weeks in critical condition but he made it, today he is all scarred up and his voice is really raspy from the fire. After she died everyone was asking him who started the fire and, it was horrible.

The next year the dad of one of my classmates passed away in an accident involving a semi. His father had just read our class a story that same day and then several hours later he was dead...

The year after one of my classmates/neighbors mom passed away from skin cancer. She was given 6 months and she lived two years. If anyone deserves to go straight to Heaven (or wherever you guys believe good people go because I am sure not everyone here has the same beliefs) it was this lady. She passed away on her daughter's birthday (my classmate) which was December 7th. My classmate said "It was the best birthday present she could ever have because she her mom wasn't suffering anymore." Three days later they had the funeral, and the day after was my friend's birthday party. They didn't even post-pone it.


In my family I have lost my Grandma and Grandpa from my mom's side. My Grandma died when I was around five and I don't remember anything of her except the day of her funeral we went and got a cat and named the cat after her. My Grandma's kidneys failed and she had some muscle disease.

My Grandpa died when I was somewhere around nine years old. He died of heart failure, I was at my friend's house when it happened and my dad came and told me. One of my friends knew immediately that my Grandpa had passed and offered that I spend the night there. My dad had to catch a train with my uncle to South Dakota and break the news to my uncle and my mom was already up there. I was supposed to stay with my other grandparent's house but I figured it would be better with my friend because they could help cheer me up a little.


I don't know this kid but recently in the town that I go to school a kid drown. My entire class pretty much knew this kid except me. He was having a swim race with a friend and he drown. The creepiest thing about this death was that his myspace song at the time of his death was It's not my time and if you haven't heard it go check out the lyrics.

If you had to die to save someone, would you do it? More specifically, a total stranger?

I would die in a heartbeat for my friends and family. If I didn't freeze up I think would die to save someone but I guess you don't know until that moment.

Do you ever get scared thinking about death? Or have you just accepted that it's a fact of life?

No, I have pretty much accepted it as a fact of life so I enjoy my time to the fullest.

Not at all, make yourself at home.

I am truly sorry to hear about all the losses that you have experienced. I can definitely relate, I've been to over 10 funerals for family and close friends in about 7 years. Your story about the classmate who lost her mother on her birthday reminded me very much of when my grandmother passed. It's sad, but it's a big relief to know that they aren't suffering anymore.


Your grandmother's condition sounds similar to my grandmother. I explained it in another post, but I was wondering if you knew the name of the disease?

My uncle died of a heart attack while curling a few years ago, so I know how sudden it is to lose someone because of heart failure. My mother had a heart attack in May, and let me tell you that was quite a scare.


That sounds very sad. I know the song, and that sounds like a very strange coincidence. Drowning is a very sudden way for someone to pass. But I think that if I had to die in some unnatural way, I would choose something sudden, rather than a disease that you have to live with for years.

--x Lauren

I am really sorry about all the losses you and Nick have experienced as well. I think you guys have had it way worse because some of the people I hardly knew if I knew them at all. I had only met my classmate's dad the day he died, and I don't even remember my grandma... I didn't even know the kid that drown, but I know more than a lot of people because I heard the story of his death from friends of the person he was racing with. Some of my best friends were best friends with him though. It sounds kind of weird but I feel bad for feeling bad about the kid who drown because some of my friends were like best friends with him and they are suffering and I didn't even know the kid. It doesn't feel like my place to feel bad about it, do you get what I mean?

I asked my mom earlier because I noticed the same thing but she said she wasn't sure because my Grandma was having lots of problems with different diseases before she died. She knew for sure she had thyroid disease but she had way more problems apparently including the muscle disease.

I am sorry about your uncle and I am glad your mom is alright.

I have a question for you two and whoever else joins our discussion it kinda has to do with my grandma that I don't remember.

Do you think it is better to have years and years of fond memories with someone and have them die or have no memories of someone in your family that dies? Which do you think would be less painful on the person, not knowing, or knowing all to well how much you loved someone?

Wow, this is great... it looks like I have some catching up to do




Oh, I agree completely. Some people are very comfortable with dying because they know where they are going and what is in store for them. However, one must remember that those places exist strictly to those religions. I've encountered many people who have said to me in religious debates that if I did this, that, and the other thing....then I would be damned to hell. However, I am not Christian, so I do not believe in hell. So it was a rather funny moment to be honest, because we had been debating for so long that it just struck both sides as funny and we laughed for quite some time (looking back with fond memories )




As Lauren has said...of course not Welcome to this little thread of mine.


I'm very sorry to hear about all of your losses. They can be very tough sometimes, and as I have said earlier in this thread, it is a truly horrible ordeal to go through. But I so glad to see you in this thread discussing with Lauren and I.




This is truly heartbreaking to read. It is the worst to see someone perfectly healthy hours before their death. Watching them live without fear of death, and without knowing they are going to pass in a few hours. I myself experienced that in my junior year of high school. One of my classmates and good friends I saw all day at school. And later that evening he was in the passenger seat of a car with a kid, and the kid drove the car right into a tree and killed my friend. It was one of the worst moments I've ever experienced; coming back into school to find him gone forever.


There was this crash one year ago back in June that involved a semi and a car with 5 girls in it who graduated high school two weeks before the accident. It was at night and the driver passed a car, pulled back into her lane and texted her parents telling them she would be safe and see them tomorrow. Just as she pressed the send button, she swerved into the other lane by accident and hit a semi head on. They all died in the car; however death was not enough for some horrible reason. Unfortunately, they did not die from the crash, but instead by the fire, it was terrible. All five were killed two weeks after graduating high school and this area has still not recovered.




That does sound very creepy and coincidental. As for drowning, that would be my least favorite way to go (that and in a fire). It just sounds terrible how it takes minutes even though you go unconscious after two or so. I don't know; going unconscious, then going through three different stages of hypothermia before one dies sounds terrible to me. I wish his family my best for that sounds like a truly horrifying experience.



Thank you very much. It;s been a tough few years for me and a tough 7 years for Lauren. But I think o' Lauren and I will power through the tough times, right buddy?



It doesn't sound weird. I know a few people who feel bad about this recent death that I've experienced, who feel as if they shouldn't feel bad because they didn't know her very well. I just tell them that that is nonsense. It is natural to feel bad for anyone when someone they love passes away. So my feeling is that you go ahead and feel bad about it. It is a terrible occurrence and anyone can feel bad about someone's death. Even if they didn't know that person at all.


Now finally onto your question at the bottom...


Do you think it is better to have years and years of fond memories with someone and have them die or have no memories of someone in your family that dies? Which do you think would be less painful on the person, not knowing, or knowing all to well how much you loved someone?

This is a very good question and I'm not sure that the answer can be universal; I think it will vary from person to person. However, it is in my opinion that it would be better to know the person and have memories with them. As I've mentioned earlier in this thread. My grandfather, who I am told I take after the most, died two years before I was born. I am constantly reminded how much I act, sound and look like him. And every time that happens I feel a little pang in my chest, wishing I could've met him just once. So for me, I think it is phenomenally better to have memories with someone and have them die, rather than not knowing them at all, especially when you're related to them.

Which do I think is more painful, knowing or not knowing? Knowing for sure. It is exponentially harder, living through a friend or family member's death. However, it is that much more rewarding on being able to recall memories with that person and letting them remain here on earth through your fond memories. Death is a terrible but natural and inevitable occurrence in life. Bu that doesn't mean it takes someone away forever. You'll always remember them. So I think it is much more painful to know someone who has passed, but that much more rewarding.


Again, thanks for joining our little discussion here. Lauren and I were having fun but it is always great to see new faces! Welcome once again.


-Nick
HJP

Lots of things to comment on.


I agree with Nick, it doesn't sound weird at all. Hearing about someone dying normally makes people feel bad, whether they know them or not in my experience. If you hear of a tragic accident on the news where people have died, you still feel sad for them no?

But it's not weird to feel bad if everyone else knew the person and you didn't. Last year there was an accident on the highway where a girl rammed head-on into a truck. Both the girl and the man driving the truck were killed. The girl was only in her early twenties and she was best friends with one of my classmates. The man was the father to a boy who went to another school but was friends with most of the people I knew. I didn't know either of these people personally and yet I found myself crying with everyone else simply because of the situation.


Exactly. Religion plays a huge part when thinking about death, and because there are so many views it's made it much more complicated to think about. If you do this, then you're going here, and if you believe that well then you'll be well off. Things like that. I do find it funny (like you said) when people argue with others about what's going to happen to them if they do something, because no one really knows for sure. So who are we to judge what other people make of their lives?


Bringing up a previous comment; I once said that I would prefer to die suddenly. Though dying by drowning or by fire would not be one of my preferences. It really isn't so fast, you have to suffer until your body just can't take anymore. It's really sad to hear about these types of accidents.


Definitely. As my mother would say; When times get tough, you jut have to roll with the punches. Don't ask me what that means, I probably couldn't explain it very well.

And sure, we feel tremendous sadness when someone passes, but you have to remember that they are in a better place (wherever that may be) and you just sort of move through it. You don't forget that person, and you will always feel sadness when you think about them, but you don't let that take over your life. You still have to keep living.

I've seen some of the affects of where people just gave up after a loved one passed on. My grandpa for example. He and my grandmother had been together since the age of 16 and everyone knew that they were meant to be together. After she passed, he became a really miserable person and he gave up basically. He hardly ever left his house, and he wouldn't go to family events that he was invited to. It hurt my dad to see his father being like this, and I think he tried talking to him about it. Over time, it's gotten a little bit better but he'll never be the same. It's heartbreaking to watch.

Do you think it is better to have years and years of fond memories with someone and have them die or have no memories of someone in your family that dies? Which do you think would be less painful on the person, not knowing, or knowing all to well how much you loved someone?

I would rather have the years of memories. That way, when you look back of your life and you remember that person, you can remember all the great and maybe not so great times you had with that person. When I remember my grandma, I remember playing cards and Bingo with her at her kitchen table every time we went to see her. And how she loved to swim before she couldn't walk anymore. She taught me to play war and all those card games. They are fond memories that I have and cherish now.


As Nick said, it is so much more painful to have known them, but the memories soften that pain. I have to use my grandmother as an example again because that one hurt the most. I was glad in a very sad way when she passed because she wasn't in pain anymore. Yes it hurt so much for me, but I remember how she had lived in pain, not being able to breathe right for a really long time. And I have those memories from when I was little and she was a bit better. But the pain is still there. My grandpa sent me a birthday card a couple weeks ago and for some reason I got tears in my eyes when I read it because it was just his name signed, and I had been so used to seeing her name as well. So the pain is strong and sharp, but you appreciate everything so much more.

--x Lauren

Do you think it is better to have years and years of fond memories with someone and have them die or have no memories of someone in your family that dies? Which do you think would be less painful on the person, not knowing, or knowing all to well how much you loved someone?

I think that it would be less painfull if someone from your family that you hardly knew passed away. But if my best friend was to die right now, I would probably take it really, really hard. Thats just how I am. The more I know someone the more I have feelings to them. Does everyone feel that way?

When I was in sixth grade (about 3 years ago) my grandmother passed away. I mean it was bad and all to my mom (her mother) and well it was sad to see her crying. But when I was at the funeral I kept thinking to myself "When will this end?". Now when I think back on it I am sad that I was more emotional because when I tell my friends that I didnt cry or what ever they look at me like im weird.

But like everyone has been saying, Religion plays a major roll in how I live my life. See im a christian and well I went to a camp this past weekend and we were talking about how gods grace saves us from the stuff that we do. This does not mean go about and sin and think "oh God will forgive me". (This is a big no-no) You dont want to be in love with the grace from God but the God of grace. And when I heard the speaker say this, I just sat there stunned thinking "Im like that I cuss I do stuff I shouldnt and always say to myself that he will forgive me."

But what im getting at is that when I hear of people dieing I think first off, Our they going to Heaven or Hell? seriously its that important to me. I dont want anyone going to Hell. Those situations are when I start to Break down.

I know I got off topic but I just thought I would like to share that with you

Andrew

Okay; first off I'll just point out the irony of this. 'Just get away from life' and we are discussing death. Now I don't want you guys to think that I am immature, my sig says it all. 'I use sarcasm to hide how vulnerable I am.'
Alright well seriously now.

How do you handle the death of a family member or close friend? What do you do? How do you feel?

Well, until recently I had two grandfathers. My grandpa on my mother's side passed away about 2 days after my mom's birthday. Whenever I lose someone close to me the first thing that I like to do is to try to make everyone feel better. I try to hide how I am really taking it by keeping myself cheerful and helping others. Then when the funeral is over, I get all the tears out a few days, sometimes even weeks later. I try to keep what I feel inside, for my younger siblings. I have to be the strong one.
I have also lost a very dear friend; he passed away three years ago. I don't think it was fair for him to die when he was so full of life. But I know that there was nothing I could do.
Some might call me cold-hearted for not showing emotion when it happens, but I'm just trying to keep my heart safe.

If you had to die to save someone, would you do it? More specifically, a total stranger?

If I absolutely had to; I would, I mean sure why not. Even if you don't know the person, they have a family too and their family has feelings. Sure I know that my family wouldn't feel good about the loss of their oldest daughter, but they would be proud to know that I passed on in an honorable way, helping to save another life. I am not trying to sound like I am the big hero, all I'm saying is that what would be the point of letting the person die right in front of you. What would you feel; the guilt would kill me, but that's my opionion. And I know that a lot of people die on a daily basis, but seeing it and doing nothing when you know you can, that's just wrong.


Do you ever get scared thinking about death? Or have you just accepted that it's a fact of life?
I think that my feelings on this matter are a mixed bag. I don't really fear death, but I don't resign myself to it. I just try to live my life by the second. To appreciate every little thing. Because I know that when my time comes, I want to be happy.

Great discussion HJP.
-Karina
(Veritaserum14)

I have read all the posts and can relate to a lot of what has been said in them. Big hugs for all who have lost those they knew and loved, and those they didn't know at all, but had some connection to.

Do you think it is better to have years and years of fond memories with someone and have them die or have no memories of someone in your family that dies? Which do you think would be less painful on the person, not knowing, or knowing all to well how much you loved someone?

This question is really interesting.

I have been at both ends of the spectrum as far as knowing people who have died is concerned. I lost all of my grandparents by the time I was 10 years old. The only one I was upset about was my grandma on my dad's side, as she was the only one I had met and remembered meeting.

My mum died 27 years ago when I was 13. I took many many many years to get over that. I still mourn the loss of a relationship we didn't get the chance to develop. I have some bad memories too as she was an alcoholic, and she frightened me from time to time. However, she was my mum, and no matter what, we always love our parents deep deep down. I miss her especially with regards to my own children - they will never know her, nor she them.

My dad died only last year (July 9th 2007) after a year of having been diagnosed with terminal cancer. I think I took the whole situation badly from the start as I had only wanted my dad to die in his sleep like both of his parents did. He did actually die in his own bed, but not in his sleep. The last year of his life was really really tough, what with all the drugs, chemotherapy and finally radiotherapy. But he was still my dad, and he will always remain in my memory as a wonderful humourous, intelligent and articulate individual. I miss him greatly, but I know that time will heal that.

So, yes I think it is better to have years and years of memories, as that way you can look back on the very good, as well as the not so good. I found it difficult to remember the good times after my mum died, as I was so distraught at having lost a very very important figure in my life way before I felt I should have done. I lost all trust in the world, and spent quite a long time waiting for the rest of my family to suddenly drop dead way before their time (I'm very pleased to report that my immediate family are still very much alive!!).

My dad was nearly 82 when he died, so I have found dealing with my dad's death much easier. Of course it may have something to do with the fact that I am now an adult, and therefore more able to understand the world better. (Just so you know, I am the youngest of 7 girls, my mum was 39 when she had me, and 52 when she died).

First off, thank you Karina.

Secondly, I would like to welcome all those who just joined our discussion. So welcome Karina (Veritaserum14) and Andrew (Crazedd Redneckk) .

To you both, I'm very sorry to hear about your losses and I hope everything is working out well within your family and friends.





This is a prime example of how religion plays into one's handling of death. So you didn't get off topic Andrew, don't worry about it. Now referring more to the quote, this is what many people use in their decisions to handle death. You personally are a christian so you look at the difference between heaven and hell; and the thought of someone going to hell is sickening to you. Myself, I have not picked a belief yet because I have problems with all of them, more like questions I have for each of them. And this is a big deal for me because currently I look at death on surface value, as in here on earth. So when it comes to the part of death post-life, I try and make it as basic as possible because I have not chosen a religion yet.





I really like your answer here Karina. It shows maturity and my opinion at the same time . This is an excellent way to live life, appreciate everything and try not to take anything for granted. One of my favorite quotes applied to life and death is "You never truly appreciate something until it is gone." I have experienced this on a small scale a ton but when it first applied to a death, it never struck me truer.




Yes it is ironic but I guess this is the only place to put this. But I do see your irony



Again welcome all new members to this discussion


-Nick
HJP


Edit:

Sorry Magelirose, I was writing while you added your post so I wasn't able to welcome and comment. However, welcome !

I'm am very sorry to hear about your losses and I hope everything is going very well for you.

Losing a loved/close one is always hard. Heck, losing someone you don't like is hard. Experiencing many deaths or just a couple here and there is still hard to overcome. I've had to experience quite a few..more than I would have liked. And each one hurts just as bad as the previous one. All of them were differnet types too..from siblings to uncles and grandparents to friends. Each one hurts just as bad. I remember, that it didn't feel real at first. Like it was a joke and they weren't gone.

I used to feel guilty though, if I went a day without thinking about one of them..but you need to realize that it is okay to have some days when you don't think about the one you lost. And you're going to have other days when they are all you think about. There were times I hated them for leaving you know...but I was young and thought it was their fault.

But you come to realize that death is a natural occurance. You can't live forever. Death serves as a reminder that life really isn't forever as we used to believe when we still played in sandboxes with new friends from the parks. You live and you die. And it is still okay to be sad. You never really overcome the sadness about losing someone, ya know? You go on living your life eventually as it was...but then something will remind you about them and it's still okay to be sad about the loss you suffered.

It's a terrible thing to lose a loved/close one...but it's even more terrible if you let it consume who you are and who you were. You need to just live life and remember how short it is.

As for contacting her husband, I think it's a good idea if you had called him or something. It's always good for someone to know that other people are feeling the loss of their loved one and that they aren't alone.

But yeah, definitely sorry for your loss. Hope everything gets better soon for you. If you need anyone to talk to, I'm around.

Welcome Lizzarxo You bring up many valid points about life and death. We live and we die, those are two appointments that we cannot miss, no matter how hard we try. What we do in between is what defines us as people.


So I have some new questions for the thread...


When you die, do you think it hurts or is it peaceful? Or do you think it matters on the circumstances that you pass on? (And I'm talking about the moment your body stops functioning and nothing before).


Personally, I would like to believe that the second our soul ceases to exist on this planet, it is peaceful and not painful at all no matter what circumstances one dies under. Whether or not that is the case, I may never know, but that is what I like to believe.


Will we ever be able to figure out what dying is like?

When I thought of this question I thought immediately of those victims who die and then are reborn through the efforts of doctors. For example, the other week, a lady was said to have no brain activity for 17 hours but then miraculously came back to this world. The full article can be found here. I was thinking that people like this could tell us what happens after death. Maybe we can somehow harness her souls experience after her brain died or something. It's one of those medical mysteries, when people come back from being pronounced dead. Can they tell us about what happens in the afterlife? Who knows but I think and hope it's a possibility. What do you guys think?



-Nick
HJP

I'll answer the other one next time around:

When you die, do you think it hurts or is it peaceful? Or do you think it matters on the circumstances that you pass on?

This one's a puzzler. hmm. I guess I'd never really thought about this. I think it really more of depends on the kind of life you had before and also on the kind of death you get. If you had a good, long life full of appreciation and people who loved you: you will have a peaceful death and you will wecome it, not try to fight it.

For example: (I wasn't there, but it's a good story). My great-grandmother was diagnosed with cancer about 2 or 3 years prior to her death. The doctors offered to treat it before it could spread but she said. "Everyone has to die of something. I know my time will come soon." So she tried to do her best to be as happy as she could and fill her remaining life with simple joys and fulfillment. After 3 years of living with it, accepting it; she had to be taken to the hospital when it got real bad. On her deathbed, my mother tells me, that she told her: "Sweetheart, I'm sorry for anything bad I ever did to you and to everybody, please forgive me. I am now old and grey and God calls to me, I musn't keep him waiting."
She had a pretty long and satisfying and happy life, so she took death peacefully and 'walked alongside Him to her new home'.

In contrast, some people die young, not deserving it, not asking for it. Some die young because of illness but others are murdered or suffer accidents. To them and to their families I believe that it is painful. Painful to experience and to live with. I imagine that to somebody who had a long life ahead of them; death is a painful thing.

However there are those who accept it. They, like most everyone, try to just live life day-to-day as it comes. They have no regrets so their death comes to them and they to it.

I don't know if any of this made any sense and I don't want to ramble so:

Peace,
-Karina-
VTM14

Hmm. You've definitely brough up some good questions Harry James Potter. I'll try to answer as best I can.

Question one: When you die, do you think it hurts or is it peaceful? Or do you think it matters on the circumstances that you pass on?
Well, I'm a bit confused. Do you mean, after you die does it hurt or is it peaceful? If my understanding is correct, then I believe that no matter your circumstance that it will be peaceful. Your body and your soul are two different completely things. When you die, I believe that those two elements are separated and a soul cannot feel hurt. Your body is what will usually feel pain.

Of course, if you're asking if the moment that we are dying do we feel pain or is it peaceful...I believe that it too is peaceful. You will probably feel pain before you die depending on the circumstance..like if you just got shot or something...but if you die in your sleep, that can't be very painful. But after a while, I believe the pain will die down because your body is in shock. A person can ignore the pain but I feel like the hurt will still be there if they are just trying to be strong for others.

I'm not sure which part answers the question..if at all. Sorry!

Question two: Will we ever be able to figure out what dying is like?:
I don't believe we will be able to figure out what dying is like. I mean, a person having faced death like mentioned before with the lady, could very well explain what she felt or what it was like..but it could be different for everyone. Some things just can't be explained in a way for people to truly understand.

It is nice to see some more faces around here!

When you die, do you think it hurts or is it peaceful? Or do you think it matters on the circumstances that you pass on? Well as you are dying I think it is going to hurt a lot (depending on the way) like if you are dying in a fire your body supposedly goes into shock and you can't even feel the flames anymore. However, I think the moments right before death takes you are peaceful or I hope so.

Will we ever be able to figure out what dying is like? No, I think the end result may be the same but dying is different for almost every person even if you have the same type of death (drowning, fire, etc) it is still a completely different experience from person to person.

Do you think it is better to have years and years of fond memories with someone and have them die or have no memories of someone in your family that dies? Which do you think would be less painful on the person, not knowing, or knowing all to well how much you loved someone?

I never answered my own question...

I think it is always better to have years and years of fond memories with someone even if it is more painful when they die. I think both are extremely but for me I think it would be more painful to lose someone that you never knew because you would always think what if I knew this person better. Maybe that is just because I only really have experience with that but I don't know.

Will we ever be able to figure out what dying is like?
As promised, here is my answer: I don't think that there really is anything to figure out. To most people death is just a fact, part of 'life'; a consequence if you will. However there have been people who have tried to find the process, experiences, causes, etc. behind death itself. The concept of even attempting to figure out what it would be like to die seems distant, but possible; plausible even. Believeable? I don't know, I don't want to sound sciency but there may well be a way to experience death as a 'virtual reality'. But in order to really know what dying is like, you'd have to go through it yourself: everyone's death is different.

-Karina

In other, seemingly unrelated news: Here's something I thought you guys might like to see:The Last Lecture. And if you like it you might also want to read the book.

Watching this led me to come up with this question:

Do you think that you can overcome death by living a good life?

It's more of a rhetorical question; I know it's not a very good one but I'd still like to read what you guys think.

Well, I am catholic so I believe that if you live a good life, and die without mortal sin after you die you go to Heaven or Purgatory (and later Heaven) and if you die with a mortal sin you go to Hell. Is that what you mean, because if you are in Heaven your soul spends eternity with God. If you go to Hell you lose your eternal life and you are condemned to the fires of Hell.

Well, I hadn't seen this question from earlier, but I want to give it a shot at answering it now.

Do you think it is better to have years and years of fond memories with someone and have them die or have no memories of someone in your family that dies? Which do you think would be less painful on the person, not knowing, or knowing all too well how much you loved someone?

Well, in my experience, both hurt just as bad. I had a younger sister die when I too was young. I really don't remember anything about her..I was maybe two. But when I was in 7th grade, I started to learn more about her and whatever and it hurt...a whole lot.I didn't know her at all but it was still hard. But I don't want to get too personal about it because it'll go off topic. And then my favorite uncle died. He was the only uncle that I had from my dad's side..well..only relative. My dad came from a pretty messed up family so it was a big thing to be close with him and everything. His family would come over every thanksgiving and whatever...and then he died...and it hurt. Either case is extremely upsetting just because you know that they are gone and you won't be able to say what you needed to say..even if you've said it before, you always feel like you should have said it again. And in the case of the person one doesn't know very well, I felt upset that we were stripped of the opportunity to know each other.


Do you think that you can overcome death by living a good life?
I too am a religious person as was said before. Christian. I think that everyone is going to die eventually...unless the end of the days comes but until then, everyone is going to die. Rather, every body is going to die and be separated from the soul. It's where one's soul goes afterward that is a challenge. No one lives a truly "good life" because that's nearly impossible. Everyone has to do something wrong once in a while. Living a good life or living your last few days as a "good person" will take you where you're supposed to go.

Alright. My answer doesn't really make sense once I read it again..but it made sense to me. Not to bring religion into this subject, because I don't want to cause offense to anyone and I know that some people just don't want to talk about it and I don't want to get people into an argument but yeah, that's my opinion.

Isn't it though


Onto the new question....


Do you think that you can overcome death by living a good life?

If you've read the previous posts of mine, you will have discovered that technically I have no religion at the present time. And I am more of a scientist than a religious individual. So my answer is based more on the opinion of the one living the life and not the God who judges your life. I think that one to overcome death, doesn't mean that he never dies or is in peace afterwards. Personally, I believe that it means that person is happy with their life and has accepted death for what it is. Not scared of dying, not worried about what's next...just enjoying the last moments of their life and the greeting of death.


Keep posting!


-Nick
HJP

P.S.-I really liked the video, thanks Veritaserum14

Shame on me or not paying attention to this thread. I'll just answer the most recent question though and try to keep up!

Do you think that you can overcome death by living a good life?

This question definitely has a religious base. As Nick pointed out, it depends on what you believe. I am Christian, but I am not a catholic, I am another denomination. And I have been questioning somethings about faith, just because the things we're told have begun to conflict with each other in my mind. But that's beside the point, I said this to relate to the topic. Our Bible says that everyone who repents their sin will go to heaven. But it also says that it is also available to those that "turn away from him". My translation- everyone can go to heaven. I've been told that this is wrong, but at the moment I'm just trying to figure things out for himself. So to finally answer the question. I don't think that being religious will affect your chances of overcoming death that much. A good life to me would be simply being a good citizen on Earth and not commiting too many mortal sins. It's complicated and I don't think I made much sense.

I have a question now.

Do you believe that the people who die before us become our guardian angels?

This is a subject close to my heart. No matter what I think about religion, I will always believe in angels. I've already talked about all the people I knew that have passed before me, and I personally believe that they have become our guardian angels-the people that watch over us as we keep on in our lives. What do you think?

--x Lauren

Lauren, how nice of you to join us

I understood your response easily so don't worry, you made sense. And again, I agree. It's a very religious scenario dealing with death.


As for your new question....


Do you believe that the people who die before us become our guardian angels?



First off, I really like the question. Secondly, I do. I find it very hard to believe that once the ones we love are gone, they never influence our 'spiritual' life again. I think that we have many guardian angels and I think each one applies to different aspects in our life. You see, my way of viewing guardian angels is kind of combined with one's own conscience. Those little voices inside your head that say, "no, don't do that, remember what happened to (whoever)?" That voice is a guardian angel in my opinion. They remind me not to stray off path, and are that little voice in the back of my head when I need reminding or guidance.



Hey, I'm glad to see we've got three pages going. Keep up the posting


-Nick
HJP

Guardian angels to me are definitely like those little voices in the back of your head. I believe in them because I find it very hard to accept that these people are just gone completely. I know that if there is a place for us after we die, then I would want to watch out for my loved ones.

Another question I meant to ask a long time ago. Do you think your life flashes before your eyes right before you die like people say it does?

This one is dificult for me so I want to get your opinions on it before I answer.

--x Lauren

Do you think your life flashes before your eyes right before you die like people say it does?


Oh lord...good question but a tough one.

Hmm, I would probably have to say yes and no. I think that certain memories probably flash in your mind, kind of like your best moments throughout your life. So to me, it'd flash Harry Potter, haha

Umm, but I also think that if you're dying under extreme circumstances (such as fear or danger) then those memories are put off by the overwhelming sensation of fear and nervousness. But if you're dying nice and peaceful, I would bet that you remember phenomenal memories from your past.


Keep it up guys!

-Nick
HJP

I wouldn't say you could overcome death by it. But I definitely try to live life as good as possible. I don't mean good as in I do the right things and live by rules or anything. I don't have a religion so the whole heaven/hell thing doesn't apply to me. I live my life the best I possibly can so that when I do die I won't have any regrets or think 'What if?' at all.

I think that if you live your life the way you want to live it you can kind of overcome death. As in you can accept it and instead of death taking you away from something or someone it would be time to move on because you've lived your life to its fullest and there's nothing left for you to do.

As for me, death frightens me. Its what I'm most afraid of. If I could find a way to live forever I would because I am so afraid of it. But recently I've lost people and had the fear of losing people. So much so that I've realised that I'll never avoid it. It'll come eventually. But there was one person who passed not too long ago. I didn't know him too well but when I had spoken to him he was an amazing person, and I really liked him. What people had told me about him helped that I guess. But he was young. And it made me realise you don't have to be in your 80s to die or anything. Which is what made me start thinking that I need to make even more of the life I have.

So now I don't have any rules, I live free, I do what I want, I make the most of the times I have with friends and family. I speak my mind so that I wont regret not saying something, even if I'll regret what I do say later. But atleast I'll have said it. I do what I can to have fun, to live free, to live the way I want to so that when death does come to me I wont have to think 'What if?' so that I won't be scared, because it'll be time to go because I've done it all, I've fulfilled life as I want to.

As for the question about would you rather have years and years of memories or not. I'd take the years of memories. My grandmother died when I was only five, I have one or two real memories of her, the rest is just photos, and well I'd like to have gotten to know her more. I'm always told how much I look like her and how amazing she was. I'd just like to know that for myself. I guess it'd be less painful to lose someone you don't know. But I'd rather have had the time with that person and live with the pain than not know them at all. Some people are worth that.

I have a question for all of you now.

Do you believe in ghosts?

I ask this because I do. I want to know if I'm crazy or if other people do as well. When I was little I can remember lying in bed late at night. I was only about 5 or so. In fact it was just after my grandmother died. But I remember turning over in bed because I couldn't sleep and there was this wisp of light. Only thing, but very long. It was actually there, I wasn't going crazy. Or I hope I wasn't. I blinked and rubbed my eyes and it was still there until I fell asleep and it was gone by the time I woke up.
I also get the feeling that there are people there aswell when there really isn't anyone. Like I get little shivers, feel cold for a split second, feel like someones watching me when I walk out of a room. So this leads me to believe in ghosts, or atleast some kind of presence that we leave behind when we're dead. Maybe not ghost, but like you know how they say people will always be with you after they've gone, well what if they really do leave behind little reminders of themselves in some supernatural form after they've gone.

What do you all think?

Kelly
x

Do you believe that the people who die before us become our guardian angels?

I think the people close to our hearts that pass before us are always watching but not necessarily as like a guardian angel. They will hurt when we hurt and they will be happy when we are happy but I don't know...

Do you think your life flashes before your eyes right before you die like people say it does?

Well maybe you will get quick flashes of only the most important memories, I guess it depends on how fast death comes to a person. This is something my older brother said to "cheer up" my dad when we went on the Big Shot (world's tallest thrill ride) "It is just as safe as any other thrill ride, if you fall you're dead but you get a few extra moments to have your life flash before your eyes."

Kelly!

Do you believe in ghosts?

Hmm this one is difficult for me as well. I'm not one to jump all over the supernatural, I don't really believe most of that stuff. But I do think its possible for people we know to visit us. Sort of like the guardian angel again, but in a way we can see. I've actually heard of this happening to other people which how I came to believe it. But as for just normal supernatural beings that we don't really know why they're there, I'm not so sure I believe. The whole haunting thing of the Halloween ghosts is a no for me as well.

Do you think your life flashes before your eyes right before you die like people say it does?

Hmm Nick I like that. The pain of a traumatic death would definitely overshadow any recollections of your life. And maybe if it happens when you're passing on peacfully it's just your memory? But I wonder if it's an involuntary thing, where images just flash before you without you thinking about it and they play like a movie reel. I guess we'll never know the answer to that one either.

You say your images would be Harry Potter, I'm not sure really what mine would be to be honest.

--x Lauren

Do you believe in ghosts?

No, I don't believe in ghosts. I think it would be pretty awesome to see a ghost if they did exist. I don't believe in supernatural beings but I wouldn't mind being proved wrong. If I had some solid proof sure I would believe in ghosts.

HJP/HJG_TrueLove ... I like the example you used, however, I still wouldn't have gone on that ride





Haha, umm, mine might be Harry Potter, probably would be opening the 7th book or something but I think that it would be memories dealing with music, as you know Lauren, I really love music and the piano or something would probably flash in front of my mind.

Okay guys, I kind of answered my question before asking it, so my answer is above ^^ and here's the question...


If your life does flash before your eyes before you pass, what would you most likely see?



And now, the other question that was recently asked by Kelly (Welcome by the way )



Do you believe in ghosts?


Umm, I'm not sure on this one. I can certainly see it existing simply because there is so much out there that we don't know. But based on my life thus far and the fact that I have had no encounters with any ghostly object/spirit, I would have to say that for the time being, no.



-Nick
HJP

If your life does flash before your eyes before you pass, what would you most likely see?


I think I would see all the times I've spent with my friends and family. Mainly my friends. Unfortunately I don't regard family as being of much importance, except my immediate family (mum, brother and dad) and even thats messed up.

But I think I would see all the little times that meant so much and gave me so much clarity. Like sitting by a lake for hours with my two best friends and just being with each other was enough for me to realise that this was the way it was meant to be.

I think I'd also see all the down times. I'd see the times when I cut, I'd see the people who hurt me, I'd see the people and the things that led me to cutting, I'd see the depression, I'd see all that crap.

I don't think I'd see the happy parts or the sad parts of life. I think I'd see them both. Because my life isn't happy and it isn't sad. It's a stupid mix of both that I think I need. I need the sadness to remind me that I shouldn't rely on the things that get me high (take that literally as well as metaphorically) and I need the happiness to remind me that while it is sad it's always going to get better for a while and that in the end, it's not always as bad as it seems and there are a few people there for me.

So I think I'd see all the major points of happiness and the major points of sadness in my life. All in one big blur. And I'd be happy. Because that was (and is) my life and if I'm really honest. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Kelly
x

Do you believe that the people who die before us become our guardian angels?
Hmm. I'd like to think so. You know, it makes me feel a little better. But then again, it also makes me feel a little ashamed if ever I disappointed them in anyway. Honestly, though, I can't be sure.

Do you think your life flashes before your eyes right before you die like people say it does?
I don't think so...I mean..I suppose that it may for some people. But if you really think about it, it can't possibly happen for everyone. For lack of a better example, say a person is in a building that blows up and they die on impact..I really don't think they believed they were going to die so their life flashed before their eyes. I think that people would like to think that it does...and they use that thought to try to live their life as best as they can because they want it to be worth watching...but enough people live a long enough life that not every major point that you faced in life can be shown to you before you die.

Do you believe in ghosts?
Not really. I'll watch some of the shows on tv once in a while but I think it's completely ludicrous. I mean, I suppose that it is possible for ghosts to be around. Even if their were ghosts, I don't believe it is as intense as people say...I don't think that they would be able to interfere in our lives because if they had existed, it would be on a different level. Alright. I really don't know what I'm saying now so I'm going to stop.

If your life does flash before your eyes before you pass, what would you most likely see?
I don't know what I would see. That's a very good question. I guess I'll find out eventually if it does pass before my eyes. I think it would be a little weird though. I don't think I would want to see it pass before my eyes...I might miss life too much.

I hope no one minds me jumping in here. If yall feel I'm too young to post here than tell me and I'll, erm, not post Lol

Do you ever get scared thinking about death? Or have you just accepted that it's a fact of life?
At this point in time yes, I do. I suppose I have excepted death as part of life but it still scares me. Seeing as, right now, I am struggling to stick to my christian religion, it scares me even more. And I know I'm young but that doesn't mean I'll have all that much time to work out my life because I could die tomarrow. I want to me able to turn my life over to God but, somhow, I feel alone. I believe in God but I worry that God won't save me from an eternity in hell.

Do you believe in ghosts?
I do believe in ghosts and spiritual impressions. I believe that strong and raw emotion can leave an impression on a place long after the person feeling the emotion is long gone. I also believe that a person's spirit can linger, retaining the same habbits and characteristics that they had in life and manifesting it's self in ways that might indicate the person they were in life. I think that spirits may return from the grave if they are disturbed or they feel that there death was unjust. Some may return to help and some, it seems, are spirits of people who return simply because they don't know there dead. I don't believe in the ridiculous stuff they have on dumb TV shows but I do believe what (A) makes sence in my mind and (B ) what I have discovered from personal experance.

If you had to die to save someone, would you do it? More specifically, a total stranger? I think it would be fairly easy to die for somone I love such as my mother, sister, or best friend but I don't know how I would feel about dieing for a stranger. I honestly doubt it. I know that doesn't sound very heroic or nobile but it's the truth. I know that another person's like has no less value than mine but I would prolly just freeze up. I am, as I said before, afraid of death and I don't think that I would be able to face it for that, having to think about it. I wouldn't have to think about giving my life for somone I loved but, in thinking about giving my life for somone I didn't know, I would become too afraid to do it.

Well, that was pretty, erm, grin

Hey, just wanted to say that you are of course welcome when I made this thread I wasn't meaning to discriminate against younger folk, I was just warning members that there would be mature ideas in here.


Welcome once again!


-Nick
HJP

Thanks I just didn't know if I would be interupting your discusion or anything I knew thats what you mean; death is a rather grim and 'mature' topic under any sercomstances (isn't it?) Thanks (again lol)

Hmm I don't think I've posted here.. Sorry I couldn't resist such a rich conversation

Do you think that you can overcome death by living a good life?
Overcoming death is a strange word to use because there is a variety of interpretations. Example I think you can "overcome" death by leaving a legacy behind. Like for example J.K Rowling somehow overcame death because she's leaving behind something marvelous! I think we can all overcome death in this way. If we all live in a way that we do something important in our lives then that is a way of overcoming death. Even if its just helping your friends or something. Making a difference even if its something small. I've learned that small things lead to greatness.

Do you believe that the people who die before us become our guardian angels?
Guardian angels... well I believe that the people we love never truly leave us. I think they watch over us and wait for the moment when we can see them again. I am a very religious person (not a prude but I have my believes ) and I believe in life after death so yeah, they watch over us.


Do you think your life flashes before your eyes right before you die like people say it does?
I think that with near death experiences you see what truly matters to you. Like if you're close to your family you might think about what will happen to them or see moments you've shared with them. Now seeing your life flash before your eyes would kind of involve Einsteins theory of relativity wow I'm getting all technical. But its true because a few seconds can seem like an hour which will give you enough time to think of the things that matter. Wow I'm so opinionated! But this is what I think.


Do you believe in ghosts?
Actually I don't really believe in ghost in the exact definition. I have a certain belief regarding this point that is better left unsaid. I've noticed people have a certain reaction to it.



If your life does flash before your eyes before you pass, what would you most likely see?
My dog... ok no I'm kidding well wait I probably would see him since he's the only one who's never given up on me no matter what I do. I'd probably see all the people I care about most, I'd probably think about all the things I've shared with them and the things I never said and did. I dunno I always remember a quote from the movie "Chicken Run" I find it very amusing, "I saw my life flash before my eyes... and it was boring". That's probably what would happen to me .

Ok so I have a question, if you were suddenly told that you're life was going to end in 2 months, what would you do during that time? Who would you see? How would you feel?
I think I'll let others reply first.

toodles
-Stef

If you were suddenly told that you're life was going to end in 2 months, what would you do during that time? Who would you see? How would you feel?

This is my reply to the before I die I want to thread but I am going to add a few things. By the way I like this question.

Before I die I want to...

1. Go Skydiving
2. Go White River Rafting
3. Bungee Jump
4. Spend a year in Europe.
5. Become a Staff member at camp.
6. Go off the big ramp at water skiing competitions.
7. Tell everyone I hate that I hate them.
8. Tell everyone I love that I love them.
9. Get married
10. Have children
11. Go crowd surfing
12. Extreme cliff diving (I have cliff dived but I want to go higher up)
13. Ride all the highest rated roller coasters in the world.
14. Go to all the top rated water parks in the world.
15. Go Ice diving
16. Extreme Cheese Rolling
17. Shark Diving
18. Climb a mountain
18. Street Luge
19. Go 150+ in a car. (First I have to master my fear of driving, I hate it)
20. Get my masters degree.
21. Throw a huge party with all my friends and family.
22. Buy an extremely expensive car
23. Go to the mall and shop until I drop.
24. Eat tons of dip n' dots
25. Chase a tornado

If I was told I had two months to live I would feel like I needed to cram a lifetime of excitement into those two months.

Hey Stef! Welcome to our discussion


I don't have much time, so to answer your question...I would spend time with my family and loved ones. I would also spend some time up in my cottage in Canada. But I would really like to fulfill one of my biggest dreams,and that is to dive with great white sharks, but I want to free dive that is, dive without a cage.


-Nick
HJP

Oh Stef welcome to our discussion. I'm so glad you're here, mother dearest.

If your life does flash before your eyes before you pass, what would you most likely see?


I like that quote Stef, and to be honest well mine might be like that. Boring because of my fear of being hurt both physically and emotionally. And as Kelly said, I think mine would be filled with both good and bad things. I would hope that some of the happiest moments in my life would go by, as well as the people who have changed my life. But I'd also like to be reminded of the major events that drastically changed my life. Going to camp for example-that's both good and bad for me. The pain of some of the things I have endured. Just to show a real summary of my life.

But if I'm thinking of the theory we talked about where the whole life flash only occurs if you're dying peacefully, well then why would my memory bring up sad images? Actually it probably would, I do that to myself often.

And to Stef's question!

If you were suddenly told that you're life was going to end in 2 months, what would you do during that time? Who would you see? How would you feel?

Hmm...well there's quite a lot of things I would want to do. First I'd feel scared and worried knowing that I only have so much time left. But then I'd be booking plane flights. I would travel the world in 2 months, doing anything that was available just so I could have the privilege of saying that I had done it. Australia, Europe, NASCAR...everything I ever wanted to do in my life I'd try to do in that time. I wouldn't waste time trying drugs and medicines that might cure me, it'd just be a waste of time.

Second, I'd want to make a journal and record as much as I can about my ife and the last two months to be passed down through my family. I know I would cherish a gift like that from my ancestors.

Third; I'd go meet the friends I've made from around the world. Stef and Kelly, and a few others here from VTM. I wouldn't even worry about the hazards, I'd just do it. And I'd bring some Canadian souvenirs for them so they would remember me.

There's probably more, but that's what I know I'd do off the top of my head.

--x Lauren

if you were suddenly told that you're life was going to end in 2 months, what would you do during that time? Who would you see? How would you feel?

I don't think I could possibly have it in me to tell anyone what I was told. That would be far too depressing. But I would start bringing up the subject more often and get friends and family prepared for it as best as possible and make sure they know that they were good to me and I was happy. My family and friends really don't handle death all that well. But besides trying to prepare them for it, I think I would try to prepare myself for it. But I really don't know how much preparation that requires. I would definitely be upset. I mean, as much as a person knows that death is evident, it's still hard to think about, you know? Talking to God would definitely be a daily activity for me more often than it has been..and I think I would just live life normally and get what I can done. I don't want to take anything for granted at all. I would definitely try to spend more time with family members and friends...just hanging out and enjoying time spent with them since it is limited.

Nice question.

if you were suddenly told that you're life was going to end in 2 months, what would you do during that time? Who would you see? How would you feel?

A lot. I'd do everything I've ever wanted to do. I'd finish my novel and get it published. I agree totally with what Stef said in regards to overcoming death. If you leave something great behind that thousands of people will remember then in a way you will live on, essentially overcoming death. So I'd get that done for that reason.

I'd go visit everyone I know and tell them everything I've ever wanted to tell them, and I'd make sure they knew how much they mean to me.

I would do everything on my 'bucket list'. I have a very very long list of things I want to do before I die and I'd make sure that I do all of them before I died.

I think I would feel scared and sad. I wouldn't want to die obviously. Like I said before death scares the life out of me. But if I managed to do everything I wanted, and had lived the way I wanted then I guess I would feel kinda happy, or more accomplished, like it was time.

I'd also hope that I'd have an impact on everyone I've ever talked to. When I die I want everyone to remember me and to take a second to think 'I actually liked her...' or something.

Kelly
x