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Disclaimer: My name is Jo Rowling. I totally wrote this song-fic and decided to post it on a forum instead of publishing it and adding more millions to my billions.

Yeah. Right.

Disclaimer: These lyrics are not mine, but Leonard Cohens (and these are the shortened lyrics redone by Kate Voegele.) Unless you want to believe that I wrote the song. I'd be okay with that.

This should become a song-fic series, but I'm not sure where I want to go with it. It's sort of a spin off from Untold Secrets. Just trying to get my writing gloves back on.

The Broken Hallelujah

Well I've heard there was a sacred chord
That David played and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?

“Sev, it’s ninety degrees out here, why won’t you take your cloak off?”

“You just want me to take my clothes, off don’t you?”

James laughed and pulled Severus closer to him, so that they were touching as much as possible without melting into each other. “Well, that’s one reason.” He said jokingly, dropping the argument they’d been having for the last hour.

The sun on the Hogwarts grounds was beating down hard, highlighting the lake so that it shone like a thousand golden crystals. The two young, black haired boys were sitting underneath a cluster of birch trees, hiding from its rays - and anything else that might have separated them.

The clearing where they sat was secluded from anyone’s sight, nearly a mile away from the castle. On Friday afternoons, just after classes, they’d sneak down to the forest and begin their trail to their secret spot, nearly having more fun through the forest than when they got there.

“I have a surprise for you, Sev,” James said, turning his head so that he faced the boy lying on his shoulder.

Severus’ eyes said that he knew what the surprise was, and his smile told the secrets he’d tried to hide until James started spilling his surprises. Still, he asked, in a mockingly curious voice, “And what might that be?”

“Well, as surprises go, it’s a big one. Huge at that. I’m not sure you could handle it, honestly.” And James turned away, hiding his smile.

It was almost a ritual fight. Severus sat up and pushed James’ back off the tree, pinning him to the ground by his shoulders, “Tell me or I’ll… I’ll throw you in the lake!”

James was laughing so hard he could barely breathe. “Fine. I – “

“You’re giving up that easily?”

“Well, between the lake and you, I’d choose you any day.”

“Makes sense. So, the surprise?”

“I love you.”

Well it goes like this: the fourth, the fifth
The minor fall
And the major lift,
The baffled King composing Hallelujah

“How’d you find this place, Draco?”

Draco pulled his cloak tighter around him before taking back Harry’s hand. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you. Why didn’t you bring your cloak?”

“I thought you might be able to keep me warm.” The remark was worth the look in Draco’s eyes as he all but tackled Harry to the ground, throwing his arms around either side of him and squeezing as tight as he could.

“Warming up?” Draco asked.

“I think so.”




“I love you too, James.”



“Why don’t we stay here a while? I like this place.”



Summer was fading away, with fall slowly creeping up on Hogwarts. James patiently sat underneath the golden and brown leaves of a birch tree, waiting for Severus to finally join him. James had seen him leaving the charms classroom with a group of Slytherins, and was sure that he would’ve come straight here after class. The two of them leaving together had become quite tricky since Severus had started hanging out with more students from his own house.

Every time the trees rustled James would stare around, waiting to see Severus emerge into the clearing, but as the afternoon turned into evening, his spirits weren’t so high. James had to push away any doubts he had about why Severus wasn’t coming. After two years, silly thoughts like “he doesn’t love me anymore” seem to become easier to push away. At first they might cloud your mind, take away all of your securities, break you down until the only thing that puts you back together is the smile of the one you’ve fallen madly in love with. But after so long… after so much… no. Maybe he just couldn’t slip away.



“Really Draco, I’m sorry, but you know Ron is my best friend – apart from you – and I just couldn’t leave him like that.”

Draco turned away from Harry, his shoulders slumped, so unlike his usual posture. Even amidst an argument, Harry couldn’t help but love how Draco was always able to be more himself when it was just the two of them.

“I know, and I’m not mad. I was just worried when you didn’t show up, that’s all.” But he still wouldn’t meet Harry’s eyes.

Before Harry could even move to get nearer to Draco, they heard loud footsteps coming towards the empty classroom.

Draco jumped up and said with a knowing smile on his face, “Oh shut it, Potter, it’s none of your business what I’m doing.”

Harry stifled a laugh and mouthed, “Good one,” before saying aloud, “Get out of my way, Malfoy.” And he walked out of the classroom, giving Draco one final smile, before turning to meet Professor Snape, who was heading towards the open door Harry had just left.

Harry stared, and Severus stared back. Without a word they both moved their separate ways, and Harry was left walking down the empty corridor wondering where his telling-off had gone. Not regretting it, he wondered what had Snape so distracted that he passed a chance at his favorite pass-time.



“I was worried, Sev.”

“Well you shouldn’t have been.” Severus wouldn’t meet James’ pleading eyes.

“Why won’t you just tell me where you were?”

“I got caught up, James; why won’t you drop it?”



“You can’t tell me, can you?”

“It’s not that I can’t, Harry, it’s just that you don’t want to know. I spend enough of my time keeping the up the charade between Severus and I, and I don’t want to spend all my time with you talking about it.”

Harry had spent enough time trying to get Draco to talk about what went on between him and Snape. After a year and a half, doubts just start getting easier to push away.


“You do know that I love you, don’t you?”

“No surprises this time?” Severus asked bitterly.

James pushed past a branch and grabbed Severus’ hand. “Don’t do that, Sev.”

“Do what James?” he jerked his hand back, “It’s ok for you and your friends to taunt me nonstop but I can’t merely have friends.”

James made an exasperated sound, “You know Remus and I have tried to get Padfoot to stop, and you know it’s not my fault. It’s nothing at all compared to you hanging around with that sort. You know they’re on his side.”

“As a matter of fact, I don’t. And I still can’t believe you told Lupin.”

James was relieved to see Severus start to go back towards the clearing instead of going back to the castle, and he followed through the clusters of overgrowth.

“He’s one of my best mates, Sev. And he… understands.”

Severus eyed James suspiciously.

“What’s that supposed to mean, ‘he understands’?”

The argument was barley over, but James was happy that Severus wasn’t angry enough to leave anymore.

The suspicion and doubt that traced the young Slytherin’s eyes hurt worse than any words could. Not long ago, Severus would have never doubted James, and the un-trustful suspicion would’ve been replaced by mere curiosity.

It seemed that as James’ love grew, the bigger Severus’ doubt and fear became. But what was more was the fear James had that maybe it wasn’t just fear for Severus. The Dark Lord was rising, and the more obvious that became to the wizarding world at large, the more withdrawn Severus had become.



Harry’s heart was beating fast in his throat. He couldn’t seem to catch his breath and his mouth had become so dry that he could hardly swallow.

“You look ill mate, what’s wrong?”

“N- nothing,” Harry stammered, “I’ll see you in the common room.”

Harry walked past a confused looking Ron and marched quickly towards the great front doors of the entrance hall. His dinner was threatening to resurface as he threw his invisibility cloak over himself.

Harry’s mind was racing as he hurried towards the familiar path into the Forbidden Forest. At first he thought he had heard wrong – of course he had heard wrong! – but then he saw one of his deepest fears coming true.

And as he reached the spot near the lake that he had begun to cherish, Harry slowed his pace to make sure he couldn’t be heard. They had already sat down.

“I got it during the Christmas Holidays.”

“Oh Draco, you’re so brave!”

“Aren’t I?” And he kissed the dark haired Slytherin girl.



“What the hell is that, Severus?”

“Just a scar, James… Nothing to worry about.”



“SHOW ME YOUR BLOODY ARM!”



Fall settled in with a window-rattling thunderstorm, which James tried to blame for not being able to sleep. He turned in his four-poster bed for the ninetieth time that night, and tried to clear his mind of everything. Considering everything was enough to make a grown man go mad, it wasn’t too easy.

For the last week James had been consumed by anger, until it had eaten up every thing he had, leaving sorrow, pity, and worst of all, an emptiness that neither the raw anger or any emotion could fill. Severus, a Death Eater… it couldn’t be.

But it was, and James Potter hadn’t spoken a single word to his long-time mate since his sleeve had accidentally fell during class and the serpent mark of Voldemort was bare for all to see. James didn’t know whether it was a good or a bad thing that he was the only one who saw it.

The moment was caught in his head like a horrible muggle film that never stopped going. Professor Willbucks would ask: “And what is the use of aconite?” and Severus, the cleverest at Potions in all the class, would raise his hand. There was no more sound in the memory, because at that moment James had been caught in terror at what he was seeing. He’d been outraged in an instant, not something that was common for him.

Lightening struck the Gryffindor tower and James was torn from the memory. One of the other boys in the dormitory had mumbled lazily “whassamatter?” before he started snoring loudly again. For the rest of the night, the storm rattled on, and the next morning, no one questioned why James had large circles under his eyes. Why his hair was even messier than usual, or why he had nearly fallen out of his desk once the Slytherins filed into the Charms classroom. Sleep deprivation, of course. But not due to the storm that had raged during the night. The storm that had been raging through James’ heart was far worse than Mother Nature could ever be.




His footsteps were echoing loudly down the corridor as the memory washed over him. Try as he might to push it away, it was useless. His own conscious was deaf to his pleas.

“Don’t, James! Please…”

“PLEASE WHAT, SEVERUS?” James’ bellow echoed in the trees, “YOU BETRAYED ME! YOU’VE BETRAYED EVERYONE! YOU KNOW WHAT VOLDEMORT’S DOING! YOU KNOW WHAT HE’S TRYING TO DO!” he stopped to catch his breath. Severus took it as an opening.

“I know what he’s trying to do, and if you’d just listen to me, you might understand!. This has nothing to do with us. You know I love you, and I’d never do anything to hurt you…”

James spat at the ground at Severus’ feet, and Severus felt his eyes welling up, “You mean NOTHING to me. NOTHING!”



“Out of the way, Malfoy”

Severus’ heart stopped in his chest for a moment. The memory had been so vivid… He had thought… but that was years ago. The boy that strode past him wasn’t – could never be – James, but their similarities was Severus’ punishment for the rest of his days.

As he strode through the doors he saw the young boy he’d been looking for. It was his last chance to change his mind. His last chance to keep the past from repeating itself.

“What is it this time Severus?” Draco spat, looking with disgust at his Professor.

“You have time, boy. Flee, and I’ll keep you safe. Dumbledore can keep you safe. The whole damn Order could take you and your mother and keep you away from him. You don’t have to do this!”

“Afraid I’m going to take your place, are you? I’ll be the youngest to ever join, you know.”

“NO, you won’t be! I joined when I was your age and it… You can have what I turned away! You can’t pretend that you acted only on his orders, Draco, you can’t deny it.” The last time Severus had been so desperate to change someone’s mind, he had lost the battle. From the look in the boy’s cold eyes, he could tell that it would end the same.


“Come on, Pansy, I know this place in the forest that no one else can get to.”

“Why don’t you want anyone to find us?” the plain-faced girl giggled, tugging on Draco’s sleeve like a crazed school-girl.

“I have something to show you.”



Draco’s heart was beating like a trapped thing. His eyes went from the boy in the shadows to the girl in his lap, and finally to his arm that he was still holding up.

“Harry – “

“You – “ Harry pointed at Pansy, “Leave.”

“Like I’m going – “

“LEAVE!”

Draco prodded Pansy in the back to move her out of his lap, and he stood, nearly making her loose her balance. He muttered in her ear that he would meet her back in the common room, and with a slight look of fear in her eyes, she trailed off through the forest, back to the castle.

“Harry, I can explain – she followed me here – I didn’t – “ before Draco even knew what had happened, Harry had launched at him and tackled him to the ground. Above all of Draco’s protests, Harry was shouting between punches.

“YOU **** – YOU – ARE THE MOST – BACKSTABBING – PIECE OF – SLIME – I CAN’T BELIEVE – LIES! – IT WAS ALL LIES! – FOR YEARS DRACO! – YEARS! – AND IT – WAS – ALL – A – LIE!”

Draco’s face was bloodied beyond recognition as Harry stopped to catch his breath. He’d stopped fighting when Harry had started punching him. It hurt, but not as much as his words. He was destined to be by the Dark Lord’s side… But Harry… Harry.


Cold and shaking with anger, Harry trudged back to the castle, blood still glistening on his hands. There were hot tears falling freely down his face and down his neck, and he didn’t care. His mind was blank; his heart felt as if It’d never beat again.



Tears were streaming down Draco’s face as he lay broken on the ground. He’d walked away. He hadn’t said another word. Draco had thought that he wouldn’t care about this moment. That it would just pass, and he’d be free to flaunt where his loyalties lied without concern for whose ears it might catch. But he cared more deeply than he ever realized as the sound of Harry’s thunderous footsteps finally faded away.

In that moment, Draco realized two things: He’d just lost the only thing he’d ever cared about. The only person who had ever cared about him. And the second, more frightening thing was that due to the mark on his arm, the man he was bound to forevermore, he could never turn back.

Hallelujah, Hallelujah,