My Immortal
James stood at the end of the casket, tears streaming down his face. His normally happy and alive eyes were now down and full of sadness and pain. Lily, his Lily, his flower, his life, his joy, his love, was gone. He had spent six years chasing after her, and finally gotten her, and now this? It wasn’t right; it wasn’t fair, not one bit. He felt his breathing hitch and then he was kneeling down by the casket, his head on the edge. He began to pray, though he had never gone to church a day in his life. He didn’t know how to start off… He decided to just talk to her like she was there.
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
Hey Lily, it’s James. I know what you’d be thinking if you could hear me… That’s not how normal people pray, but who cares? Honey, I miss you. I miss you so much, it hurts. I miss your smile, your hair, your kisses… Everything about you. I wish I could see you just one last time. That’s all I want, Lily flower. The one thing that I want is the one thing that can never be.
Oh, my God, Lily, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I yelled at you on the night that you died, or ever, I’m sorry I was ever mean to you, I’m sorry… He felt his tears coming full force now. He knew he probably looked like a psycho to everyone watching, but he didn’t really care. He couldn’t breathe; this was too much.
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
Lily, Lily, Lily, why did you have to go? Why aren’t you here right now? Was I not a good boyfriend? You know, Lily, I truly loved you. I really, truly loved you with all my heart. I was going to propose, did you know that? I was going to propose to you on the night that you… died. I have the ring right here, honey. I practiced proposing so many times, in front of my mirror, in front of my friends…I wish I would have been brave enough to do that. But I didn’t, because I’m an idiot. I was afraid of rejection. Isn’t it ironic, how I wasn’t afraid all those years, when you didn’t want me? And when it really mattered, I choked. I wonder what you would have said… Would it have been yes? Somehow, I think it would have been. Almost without thinking about it, he touched a hand to her stomach, feeling the little bump there. Her baby. His baby. Lily, I’m sorry I was so obnoxious to you all those years. I’m sorry about when I kissed you without your consent, or when I would prank you… I was an immature child then, but you saw past that, didn’t you, Lily? You could find good in anybody, even me. That was part of what made me love you so much. Do you remember when you first said yes to me, Lily? I do…He could remember everything about that day, every significant and insignificant little detail was etched into his mind. You were wearing a pink tanktop and shorts, do you remember? I do, because even then I loved you so much, my Lily. You were… the love of my life. I will never find anyone else, I swear it.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
I love you. I miss you. More then I ever would have thought was possible. He stood up, smoothing her hair away from her face in the process. He looked at her still frame with absolute adoration in his eyes. He took the ring out of his pocket and placed it on her ring finger. I leave you now with one final question: Will you, Lily Evans, marry me? He knew he’d never get an answer, so he stood up and walked away, the tears still falling, but he didn’t care. Nothing mattered anymore.
But you still have
All of me
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