Hey

I guess you are here to leave feedback to my fic "PE comes to Hogwarts". If not, please read it
Criticism, questions and praise (of course) are highly appreciated. I will listen to everything!

-Louise

Okay, so I'm the first to leave feedback! Yeah! I only have a few points I'll make seeing as I actually was in the middle of two essays... Grr..

It was good, even though I'd seen most of it before, but I like it I hope there's more PE in the future chapters?

One thing I'd like to point out though. I don't get your parting between the lines. PLaces like this for example:

It could use a parting seeing there's two persons speaking.

A thing I think is splendid. Your humour! Louise even if you don't know, you make Elena say a few funny, this,

I love that. And I know you're nervous about not being funny, but I think your strenght is in the speaking if you can't find it in the acting. You have som great lines!

So overall I'm pretty impressed with your work, and I hope you can keep up the great standart you've shown me you have.

happy-potter: Yeah, you were the first, and so far, the only one to leave feedback. And yeah, you'll see some more PE in the future . And in the upcoming chapters you won't know much of the action.
I am really glad that you think I'm funny, one thing I hope to get better at , it's one of my issues about writing.
Thanks for the review Vicki!!

First, sorry for the wait. I haven't been able to pull myself enough together to stop by here until now. Sorry for that.
Well, as before, another great chapter, I like your very clever debates between Elena and Sirius, but be careful not to make it too deep. If people have to think too much about it, the laughter dies before it starts - Also adding how the people look/ what they do at the same time, is a good idea if you want to make someone laugh.
And I really like your PE scenes, and I like it when you see the difference between muggleborns and purebloods.
Oh, so sorry for the awful feedback, but you know what mood I'm in at the moment, so I'm sorry. This was the best I could come up with.
Great!

Louise, What an interesting twist! PE at Hogwarts. That's really cool. I'm glad I stopped to read!

Great job on your first fic! You've got a great style of writing. The way you write just drew me in. You're very descriptive and humorous.

I like how well you describe each character and how they act. I like Alex. He's funny.



I could so envision that. I really think this is great! I like how it takes place in the Marauder era. That's cool. I like all the scenes with PE. It's really fun to read!

The only negative comment I have is the swearing. That's really the only thing I don't like.

I'd really like to keep reading this as you go on! You're doing a great job! Could you please pm me when you do update? I read so many different fan fics, sometimes I forget when the last time I read was. Keep up the good work!

Chelsea

HEYA great story!
I like it alot.
keep up the good work...
Elana is going to fall for Sirius right? i just have that feeling.
Bey

happy-potter: I know, I just couldn't help myself with thise debates. It is just in my nature to discuss those things. I am glad you think it is good, and I hope you will enjoy the future PE scenes. Thanks for the feedback, it wasn't that awful

Nasuada: Thank you so much for the praise, I am glad you like it. I try to be fun, so it is great you think so too. I will definately try to tone down the swearing, it is good that you pointed it out. I really appreciate your feedback!

Tom Marvolo Riddle: I think you will have to wait and see if Elena falls for Sirius. I am not going to reveal the plot . Thanks for the review.

- Louise

Fantastic!

Just one question, why does this:
seem familiar? Haha, I know where you got that from.

This chapter was so good, and somehow I already see improvment in your writing. Well done. I spotted a few missing ',' in the end of dialogue, but that's just about. And you wrote Will's hair was the colour of Union Jack, but... Will's balled (at least in the first chapter)

But I simply loved this. You had a bit of everything in it, and I think that's what makes this so good. And Aether is sooo sweet. So is Chrissy. I think it's pretty sweet Elena did that for them. It's always good to help! And she's a true Hufflepuff.

Really good chapter, Louise, Thanks for another grest read!

Oh thank you so much for letting me know that you updated! I really appreciate it!

Oh this was a very exciting chapter! I really liked it! Elena scored a goal! That is so exciting! (I'm such a dope. At first I got all confused because they were playing 'football' and kicking the ball. Then I remembered, Europe. Duh. I know the sport as soccer. I started thinking they were playing American football and I was like, woah! Woops. ) But it was really cool!

And awww! Elena helped out Chrissy and now Aether is going to ask her out! That is so sweet.

But a really fun chapter! Update again soon!

Chelsea

Hey-o, Louise!

I really do like the story, it's not often you find a Hufflepuff as the main character. Original and creative, PE Comes To Hogwarts is!

Constructive suggestions time!



Very good with a quick scan of the words, like when you read, but I notice tiny little things (and miss them sometimes, too!) so there's just one thing that bugs me.

When they speak, after the end of the dialogue, but before the quotation marks, there's usually a comma, unless the diologue is a question, an exclaimation, or the sentence doesn't continue after the dialogue. On both dialogues in the quote, the comma is missing. Using or not using the commas won't hinder the story, but it's just for the people like me who are perfectionists.

No need to go back and correct all the missing commas, or you don't even have to listen to me, but I like to help others with puntuation. You could call it my flaw, I suppose.

happy-potter: I wonder if you have thought about that hair grows. Elena says in the first chapter that he hasn't been balled all the time, so I figured his hair must have grown out a little. Maybe I should have written that somewhere. I know about the commas, and it is probably also missing here in the fourth chapter, but I'll just go correct it know in the fifth. Thank you for reminding me. As for the schoolrelated accuaintances. Well, if you have something funny from everyday life, why not use it. Though you and I mught be the only ones who gets it. Anyway, thanks for the review Vicki.

Nasuada: Haha, maybe I should have specified that I use european names for all the sports. Being from Europe myself, I guess I just didn't think about it. I hope it didn't ruin the story for you, hehe . Thanks for leaving me feedback.

Sister to the Dark Lord: I am glad that you think my story is original, it is always great to recieve praise . I will definately improve the comma thing, you will most likely find a lot of that kind of mistakes in chapter four which I posted yesterday, but hopefully chapter five will be more flawless. I will try to please my readers . Thanks!

It is great to see that more people leave feedback, but I'd like even more. Thanks a lot to all of you, and I hope you enjoy the fic!

- Louise

So I've just got to day, this was my favourite chapter so far!

I really think you did great, and I absolute loved this chapter. and Especially that you included some background info about Alex and Elena. You fit it in nicely.

I like that you made Sirius back a bit off in this chapter, and then bringing him into it again at the very last. I can't wait for this meeting, and I think you were very mean with cutting the chapter there. Update soon, thanks!

Oh! What a great chapter, Louise! (And thanks for letting me know when you update. It really is helpful.)

This really was a fun chapter! Volley-ball! Oh that's really fun! I like that a lot! Oh my goodness! I can't believe she has a date with Sirius! That is so exciting! Haha! I cannot wait to see what happens next! It was totally worth the wait!

Update soon!
-Chelsea

P.S. Yay! This is my 700th post!

happy-potter: Sorry I didn't update sooner. Guess my mind has been elsewhere. I am glad that you liked it, and I hope the following is at your liking too! Thanks for the review!

Nasuada: I am glad you thought it was worth the wait! That is a true compliment. Yeah, I think Volley is pretty funny too and I have used and will used a lot of real episodes from my own PE lessons in this peticular sport. I hope you will enjoy the future chapters as well, though I might be slow on the update. Thanks for leaving me feedback!

Man, I wanted to cookies! But I don't know anything about Quantas Airlines. But you'll just give me cookies abother day then

Fantastic chapter as always. Have I mentionel I love your humour? Well, I do. And Elena is just loveable. It's not jokes, but just the way she thinks and the things she say in responce to everything else.

I can't believe thay actually beat him up. Or at least Will did. Typical. I love him, and Alex just as. He's just trying to do the best thing, and that's so sweet.

I think you're writing is improving. Even though you've not written for a long time, I can see it now already, and I'm impressed by you. Also just regular things as spacing and the . or , when speaking. It's great to see.

Love it very much!

Oh wow! I can't believe Will actually punched Sirius! I really didn't think he'd do it! That's awesome! I mean, Sirius is cool, but it's just really funny.

I did enjoy the chapter very much! It was fun and great to see Elena and Sirius doing such a great job at keeping the ball in the air in the gym.

I hope you update again soon!

-Chelsea

Well, Sirius had it coming. I mean, agreeing to go on a date with a girl who you know hates your guts and you also know that she doesn't know about this arrangement? Honestly, if she doens't rearrange your dental work herself she's obviously going to get someone else to!

Great job, I loved every word (and there were commas where there were supposed to be )!

Hey! I just read your fanfic, and just fell in love with it! The idea is so clever, and all of the characters are great! I reaaaaallllyyyy hope you post soon! Or else i'll start to get very impatient...hahaha but great fic, I can't wait for other chapters

Hello everyone

happy-potter. I know, cookies are great, I think I'll give you some anyway, just for replying. I'm thrilled that you love my humour! I am not very good at jokes, I'm more the sarcastic kind of person. I love your humour as well, so I guess it goes both ways. I am happy that you noticed that I've improved, I must say I try . Thanks a lot for the great review!

Nasuada: I just hate empty threats. And he kind of had it coming, don't you think. Sometimes you need a little punch in the right direction. Thanks for reviewing

Sister to the Dark Lord: Hehe, I have been working on the commas, glad you noticed. Yeah, I think he had it coming too, he can be such a git, but he is a great character to write! Thanks for the lovely words

KateXBelle: Uhh, I am sorry I wasn't faster, I really tried to get this back from my beta in good time, but everything is difficult when you've got tons of things to do. I am very grateful that you like it, I try my best to make it witty and realistic. I hope you didn't get too impatient, but I promise to be quicker with the next one! The best of reading to you and a big smile from here!

- Louise

Louise,

I was so excited to see that you updated! I was actually just thinking about your fic the other day! I thought the chapter was really good!

Poor Elena! Two broken ribs! Ouch! No more sleepwalking or any late night activities for her! Haha. Glad that Madam Pomfrey fixed her up though. She has some really sweet friends! And when her brother ran down, I thought that was so cute!!

I can't believe he's getting paid for Elena to go out with Sirius! That is crazy. I would kill my brother if he ever did that to me! Especially if I didn't really like the guy! But the fun thing is, secretly, I think she does!

I hope to read another update again soon!!

-Chelsea