Hey everyone!
Welcome to my story, Of Weird Conversations and Strange Lists. This story contains the weirdest conversations I could come up with and strange lists of things no one actually would write. Therefore the name. Each chapter will be named after the list which comes up in it.
Just a few things...
Also, I’m trying something different for this story. When having read this, I ask you to go leave feedback, and if you have an idea for a future list, please leave it with the feedback, or write me a PM. If I feel inspired I’ll let you know and write a chapter about that list (I can write, but I’m not that good with lists), the chapter will be dedicated to you. Be creative and original!
And... It’s not a violent story, but there might be a few paragraphs where some talk about it can be found. It’s not anything special, and remember, it’s all just for the laugh of it.
And the last note. No, I’m not JKR and I do not own any of the characters here.
Now read

Of Weird Conversations and Strange Lists

List 1 – One Hundredth Seventy-four Ways to Kill James Potter

I narrowed my eyes slightly, looking straight at him. He returned the glance, but I wasn’t sure he knew exactly what was going on. I hardened my gaze and thought so hard I could almost feel a vein bursting on my forehead. I bit my teeth harder together. He hadn’t blinked yet, neither had I. He tilted his head slightly and pressed his lips together.
“And what exactly are we doing?” he asked and raised his eyebrows. Then he blinked.
I said nothing. He frowned and leaned closer. I didn’t move, but kept my mind on my task.
“Evans?” he asked and waved a hand in front of my face.
I ignored him. He kept waving the hand, leaning a bit over the table. He moved his head from side to side, but I kept my eyes on him. His head neared.
“Evans?” He poked my cheek.
I slapped it away, only to exclaim a few curse words; I had been distracted by him and his action. He slowly leaned back in his chair and looked at me with one raised eyebrow.
“Do you mind telling me what’s up?” he asked.
“I was trying to set you on fire,” I half-grumbled.
“You don’t have a wand,” he said smartly.
“I’m not stupid, Potter,” I said, “but I know wand less magic is possible and if I could be good enough I could do anything to you when you’re not even prepared.”
He nodded, as if thinking it over. “Well, good luck,” he said brightly and returned to the book on the table.
“I could kill you,” I said, nodding.
“Yeah, if you could do the wand less magic, you could kill me.” He didn’t even look up.
“In one hundredth and seventy-four ways,” I said, “roughly.”
He looked up shortly. “You’ve really given this a lot of thought.”
“I know,” I said. “It’s because I intend to succeed this mission and I’ve got to leave all opportunities open. Would you rather die, drowning or burning?”
He lifted his quill to his mouth and let it slide over his lips, looking upwards, and thinking. After a few seconds he said, “Drowning,” and then returned to the book.
I nodded. “Burning it is.”
He smiled.
“Hey, now is not the time to smile! You should be scared of my threats!”
He looked at me through his hair with a sceptical glint in his eyes. “I am.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “No, you’re not.”
“Oh, that lie you could see through.”
“What do you mean?” I crossed my arms, eyes on him.
“Of course I’d rather die burning than drowning. I think you die faster that way. But why stick to such a depressive and sad topic? What are you doing for Christmas?” He smiled genuinely at me and laid down his quill.
I narrowed my eyes. “You lied to me?”
“Yep.” He started reading.
“Why?”
He looked up shortly. “Because I know how your mind works and I knew if I said burning, you’d say drowning, and the other way around. Ergo, to fulfil my wish I lied and said I’d rather drown than burn, and I got what I wished for.”
I narrowed my eyes. “If I ever get to kill you, you’re drowning.”
“Fine,” he said, nonchalantly.
“Don’t use that tone with me!”
“Okay.” He looked up. “Fine,” he said in a fake nice voice.
I crossed my arms and narrowed my eyes at him again, concentrating hard. He studied me in less than five seconds.
“You’re trying to drown me, aren’t you?”
I didn’t answer.
“Though I do wonder how you’ll manage to do that in the library. We’re inside, a long way from the lake and there’s not even a little drop of water in here. The nearest drinking fountain is several corridors to the east, but,” he shrugged, “what do I know?”
I didn’t answer and tried to not even listen. He smiled and leaned back in his chair, eyes on me again.
“But if you’re looking for a painful death, I could always suggest you let me get eaten my ants or another insect. Or you could let me starve to death. Or die of heat, I think that’s pretty painful too. Or maybe fill me up with tiny little rose thorns that will tear me apart from the inside.”
“I have made a list,” I said and pulled a list up from my bag before he could even blink.
I handed it to him without one word and he started to read it. “‘One Hundredth Seventy-four Ways to Kill James Potter’,” he read out loud.
“It’s in preparation,” I said with a nod. “I might publish it.”
“‘Slowly tear him apart, small body part by small body part. Bonus; you get to hear his screams.’ Wow, that’s nice, Evans.”
I nodded. “I like making lists.”
“But if you want to publish it, you might just name it ‘One Hundredth and Seventy-four Ways to Kill a Person’. It’s more neutral.” He didn’t even look at me while speaking.
“I like the ‘James Potter’ part,” I said. “It adds a nice edge, don’t you think?”
He looked at me shortly and then his eyes returned to the paper. “‘Force him to drink acid. Suggestions: nitric acid, hydrofluoric acid, sulfuric acid, etc.’ Hmmm.” He looked at me.
“I was good at chemistry in my school at home,” I said easily. “Read on.”
“Oh, I like this. ‘Tear off his skin and rub him in salt and lemon juice.’ Wow, you really know your stuff, Evans…”
“They’re good, right?”
He lifted the first page, scanned the second, then the third and fourth. “Good Gracious, Evans. It keeps going for several pages.”
“One hundredth and seventy-four ways,” I said.
“You actually have a very nice handwriting.”
“Don’t try to suck up,” I said, snatching for the papers, but he moved it out of my reach.
“You’re messed up on the inside, did you know that?”
“Yup.”
“Hey, mine with the ants is here!” He looked at me over the papers. “Tell me, when do you even have to time to write this?”
I shrugged. “In the evening, before I go to sleep. It makes me dream happy dreams.”
He smiled and chuckled slightly.
“What?”
“I just can’t believe you,” he said, still smiling. “Here I thought you were completely nice and not the least bit violent in that way. But you’re crazy.”
“I hit you often.”
“Yeah, but I didn’t know you had the fantasy to this.” He smiled brightly.
I snatched the papers from him. “It’s not something to laugh about, I’m dead serious and if you’re not careful one of these will actually come true!”
He nodded. “Now that you’ve agreed on that, maybe we should write this thing?”
“I’m really not in the mood to work with you.”
“No, I know that, but have you ever thought that if we finished this soon rather than later you’d not have to see me so often? But I’m all for the latter.”
I narrowed my eyes. “I know you are. I’d still rather have worked with Ava.”
“Sure you would,” he said with a smile, “but she’s working with that Colby-guy...”
“Don’t talk to me like that,” I bit him. “Your friends abandoned you too.”
“Yeah, you think,” he mumbled with an arrogant tone.
My mouth dropped open. “You made sure this happened!”
“Surely I did,” he said, smirking at me. “And I’m sure this will be the time when you finally accept me for being me and we get together.”
“In your dreams.”
“You’re there too,” he said and winked.
I nearly growled out loud, but decided it would ruin my cool facade I’d had so far. “Surely I am, James,” I said sweetly. “Are we going to get this made?”
He shrugged. “Now I don’t want to.”
“Oh, come on, James! Try to work with me,” I groaned.
He didn’t look at me, but started leafing through the long list.
“At least I try to make this work!”
He smiled and put away the list. “Can I borrow this then?”
I frowned. “Why do you want to borrow it?” I asked. “It’s not a nice thing.”
“I’m glad you can see that yourself,” he said with a smile.
“Why, again, do you want to borrow it?”
He shrugged. “I want to read it. You have a very special mind. I like it.”
“If you want to,” I said and rolled my eyes. “Can we get to work now?”
“Yeah.”

*

Feedback and potential ideas here!

- Vicki

List 2 – 12 Reasons Why Shindledecker-Rosborough Shouldn’t Be a Teacher

Slowly I was spinning the wand in a circle with three fingers on my right hand. Slowly I increased the speed and smiled satisfied as I managed to shift the wand from my little-, ring- and middle finger, to the ring-, middle- and index finger instead. With a concentrated expression I slowed down and let the wand wander to my other hand where I slowly speeded it up again. I smiled and kept it spinning.
Suddenly a hand stretched over my shoulder and snatched the wand.
“Hey!” I exclaimed and turned around. “Oh, it’s just you.”
“What a nice welcome,” James smirked and sat down on a chair on the other side of the table. “What are you doing? Spin the Wand? You have to be more than one player then.”
I glared at him. “Drop the ‘funny’ jokes, okay? I don’t play silly games like Spin the Bottle, or wand for the matter.”
“What if-”
“No, not even with you.” I looked at him without blinking a few seconds.
He returned the glare with a smile. “No, it’d probably ruin the whole hate thing you have for me, right?”
“Can I have my wand back?”
He studied my wand a few seconds. “Can I have a kiss?”
“No. Give me my wand.”
“A kiss?”
“Shut up. I’m not in the mood to even talk to you.”
He frowned slightly and handed the wand over. “Have you had a bad day?”
“No,” I denied, but it didn’t even sound true.
“What happened?” he asked with concern.
“Nothing,” I grumbled and started writing on a paper.
He leaned across the table, looking at the paper on the table. “‘12 Reasons Why Shindledecker-Rosborough Shouldn’t Be a Teacher’? What’s that about?” he asked and looked up at me. “He’s the one who made you in this mood?”
“Stop talking to me like we’re friends!” I exclaimed and pushed the paper so he couldn’t see and he slowly sunk back into his seat. “We’re not, okay?”
He nodded. “But why would you make such list?”
“I’m crazy,” I said. I quickly wrote a point down on the list. “You even said so two days ago.”
“But whyyy?” he said and waved with his hands.
“Because he shouldn’t be allowed to teach.”
“What’s your first point?” he asked with a smile.
I looked at me list. Then I wrote a point more. “You can read it later,” I said. “First I have to write these points.”
“How can you make sure you’re coming up with twelve?”
“Why are you asking this much?” I groaned and looked at him. “Seriously!”
He smiled softly. “I don’t know. You’re interesting.”
I frowned. “And you’re weird. How can I be interesting?”
He chuckled and then shrugged. “I don’t know. Just the way you act, speak and probably think as well. Haven’t anyone ever told you?”
“No,” I said flatly. “And am I supposed to take it as a compliment?”
“Probably.”
I looked down, away from his gaze. I bit my lower lip. “Are you expecting one back?”
“No.”
“Good.”
I drew a few doodles on a blank piece of parchment, my head supporting in the palm of my hand. I could feel James’ eyes on me, but didn’t let him know.
“We’re not really good at this,” he said after almost five minutes of silence.
I looked up shortly. “I know. It’ll probably be the last time we work together, huh?”
“Naah, why that?”
“Because it takes too much time to just write a line.”
“Come on,” he grinned. “You like spending time with me here. You can just say I’m right.”
“Yes, I could, but you’re not right,” I said. I sent him a grin. “You’re so full of yourself half of it would be enough for a whole team of models.”
He frowned. “Models aren’t full of themselves.”
“In my head they are. So are you. Now, stop talking.” I waved with my hand.
“I don’t think I want to.”
“No, figured.”
He laughed. “Come on, Evans. You need to loosen up a little bit. Do it for me.”
“I’m not doing anything for you.”
“You said yes to work with me.”
“No, I said no, but unfortunately it couldn’t be changed.” I let my quill drop to the table. “You’re talking. Stop talking.”
“Lemme see the list,” he said with a smirk.
“Noooo.” I stifled a yawn and looked out of the window. “It’s getting late. Maybe we should stop.”
“It’s half past seven,” he said and looked at his watch.
“I’m tired, okay?” I rubbed my face in my hands, groaning. “Can’t we call it a day?”
“Can I see the list then?”
I let my hands drop and looked at him sceptically. “Are we calling it then?”
He nodded and stretched out his hand. I picked up the paper and let him have it. He sent me a grin and looked at the list. His grin slowly fell.
“It was funnier yesterday.”
“Don’t criticize my lists or it’ll be the last you ever see of them.”
“Does that mean you’ll write more I can see?”
“No. And stop talking!” I clasped both of my hands in front of my eyes, groaning loud, “My head hurts!”
I looked at James shortly and the again closed my eyes and let my head fall to the backrest of the chair. I took the silence from the library in for a ten long seconds, taking a few deep breaths.
“‘His beard is too long’?” he asked suddenly. “How can you use that as a reason?”
“Because it makes the words coming out of his mouth muffled. I can’t understand him.”
James nodded, looking at me. “It’s logically really. You’re smart, Evans.”
I blushed unwillingly. “Thanks.”
He grinned. “Is it the compliment or the person it came from that’s making you blush?”
“The compliment,” I mumbled. “They do that to me. I’m not good with compliments.”
He nodded, still smiling. “You’re one of a kind.”
“So are everyone else,” I said easily, looking down. “We’re all special.”
“Deep,” he mumbled. “How’s the head?”
“Still hurts,” I said. “Just finish reading.”
He nodded and let his eyes slide down the sentences. “‘His name can’t be pronounced’. Ahh. Yes, I just call him Professor SR. He doesn’t like that.”
“Doesn’t surprise me,” I said. “Both that he wouldn’t like that and that you would come up with something as that. It’s you think.”
“To call professors by such names?”
“No. To call everyone by strange names. I recall you calling me Lilium.”
He nodded. “It’s the Latin name of Lily. Sweet, right?”
I shrugged. “There’s a fine line between an interested guy and a stalker.”
He blushed. “I’m not a stalker, Lily. I don’t have pictures of you all over the dorm. I’m not observing you and dreaming of... I don’t know, wearing your skin or something.”
I couldn’t help a smile forming. “Okay, you’re not a stalker, happy?”
“Yep,” he said with a grin. “But if I were to stalk someone, it should be you.”
“I’m honoured,” I said dryly.
He smirked.
“So what do you call other people?”
He frowned. “Everyone?”
“Just the most exciting,” I said with a shrug.
“Really?”
“You’re reading my lists,” I said, eyeing him. “Give me some.”
He grinned. “Um. Roger Wright is Robert Wadlow.”
“Why?” I frowned bewildered. “It doesn’t make any sense.”
“Yes!” he said. “Listen. The world’s tallest man was a man named Robert Wadlow. And Roger is the tallest guy I’ve ever seen. It makes sense. But usually we just call him Robert. Or Rob. He doesn’t like that.” He shook his head, as if not understanding.
“Yeah, I guess,” I said. “More?”
“Um. There’s D4.”
“Who?”
“Donna Diaz. She’s got brain like a very dumb person and she’s got huuuuge...” He stopped, looking at me, his hands cupping something invisible in front of his chest. “Well, let’s just say huge, okay. That’s four Ds.”
“Ahhh.” I looked at him. “That actually makes sense. But you are disgusting.”
He nodded. “Yeah, we know that.”
“I was only talking about you.”
“What if you found out it was actually Remus’ idea?”
“Then the whole world would have turned around,” I said. “And that’s not gonna happen soon.”
He grinned. He slowly handed me my list. “Thanks for sharing.”
“You’re welcome,” I said. “So I can go now?”
He nodded. “Only because I’m such a loving and forgiving soul.”
“Ha!” I mumbled getting up. “See you tomorrow, Potter.”
“Sure thing,” he said and started packing as I left.

*
Again, ideas for future lists are welcome, so is feedback!

- Vicki

Thanks to Aly for taking the beta job upon her shoulders!

List 3 – Why Morning Classes Should Be Forbidden
The silence hung heavily around the library. The only sounds reaching me at the table in the back was the slight rain just outside the window.
Slowly I ran a hand through my hair, looking up. A smiling James was walking towards me. He smirked widely as his eyes caught mine. I narrowed my eyes as he kept smirking. He sat down, his smirk growing wider for each second.
“What?” I snarled.
“What’s up Skippy?” he grinned.
“Um, what?” I asked. “‘Skippy’? Nickname?”
“Yep,” he said with a nod and looked into a book he’d brought. “So how have you been?”
I scowled. “Why are you asking? And why are you calling me Skippy?”
He didn’t look up. He slowly leafed through the book, scanning each page even slower. He wrote a few words down a piece of parchment, and then he looked a little more in the book. I doubted it had anything to do with assignment to do. Pranks would be more like it.
“Hey, Potter?” I asked, making him look up. “Yes, I’m talking to you.”
“I know that,” he said. “Isn’t Skippy a bit obvious?”
“No?”
“You skipped the first two classes,” he said and showed the white of his eyes. “Skippy!”
“I didn’t skip the first two classes,” I said, “I slept through them, okay?”
“It’s the same as skipping,” he said with a nod.
“Is not.”
“Is.” He eyed me a few seconds. “You’re supposed to be the good one of us. That means no skipping, no pranks, no detentions and no late essays etcetera.”
I pretended I did not hear him. I looked into a book, but didn’t read a single word.
James leaned across the table. “So why did you skip?”
I sighed.
“Come on, Skippy. Let me into that twisted mind of yours.”
“Morning classes should be forbidden,” I said easily.
“Oh yeah?” he asked and looked at me. “You’ve made a list of that too?” He smirked at me.
“As a matter of fact... I have,” I said. “Got a problem with that, Potter?”
“Can I see that too?” he asked.
I sighed. “Can’t we just finish this thing?”
“Evans, you know you want to.” He smirked again. “Let me see.”
“No.”
“Please.”
“No.”
“I might cry if I don’t get to see it.”
I smiled, looking up at him. “Cry then.”
“I can cry on demand,” he assured me with a nod.
“Cry,” I said again. “Come on, Potter. Show me what you’re made off.”
“Blood, bones and flesh?” he asked, suddenly smirking.
I grinned even wider. “And water. Water is a huge part of you.”
“Okay, smart one.”
“I was good at biology at school.”
“Too.”
“What?” I asked with a frown.
“Yeah,” he looked up at me. “You said you were good at chemistry as well. Was there anything you weren’t good at?”
I put the one end of my feather a half centimetre into my mouth and thought. “Yeah...” I said slowly. “I wasn’t good at PE...”
He smiled. “But that’s hardly a subject. Wasn’t there just one subject, in which you had to use your brain, you weren’t good at?”
I frowned. “There’s got to be something... Um...”
“Just as perfect there as here?” he asked.
I looked up at him. “You really think I’m perfect?”
He shrugged, saying, “Pretty much.”
The one side of my mouth pulled up. “Thanks, James.” I sighed.
I slowly stuck my hand into the bag. I searched a few seconds and then pulled it back up with a paper in my hand. I handed it to James. His eyes widened as he saw the title.
“You’ll let me read it?” he asked, astonished.
I nodded. “Yeah.”
“Why?” he asked with a frown.
I shrugged. “Just do it before I change my mind, okay?”
He grinned and scanned it. “‘No one can learn anything while still asleep’, that’s right.” He looked at me over the paper. “What is it with you and lists?”
“I like them, okay?”
He said nothing and looked at the list again. I looked down at the papers of information which sooner or later had to be to a report. I wrote a few words down before stealing a quick glance at him. He lifted his gaze in the same second. I looked away at once.
“‘The sun gives us energy, and seeing the sun hasn’t even risen (in the winter) at 9, the classes shouldn’t start until 12 so we could get loaded with energy and our work would get done twice as fast.’” He looked up at me. “Is it true?”
“What?” I asked, looking up too.
“That the sun gives us energy?”
I nodded. “Yeah. It keeps us positive and happy. Ergo we can work faster when not being depressed. It’s logic.”
He pressed his lips together and smiled. It looked weird; it wasn’t a happy smile. “I guess I don’t have any logic then.”
I shook my head. “That’s not uncommon, James. Most wizards aren’t that good with logic. I’m a muggle-born and I’ve been raised with another perspective of life. It’s no wonder I think a bit differently than you.”
“You called me James.” He smiled the widest grin I’d ever seen.
“Don’t ruin it,” I said without looking at him.
“Okay...”
I looked up quickly and then down again, starting to write. He slowly laid down the paper and picked up a book too. He sighed deeply.
“No need to sound so depressed,” I mumbled.
“I’m not depressed. I’ve had plenty of sunlight this year.”
I looked up at him with a raised eyebrow. “You can be depressed because of other things, James.”
He frowned. “Logic is stupid. I don’t get it.”
I couldn’t stop a smile forming on my lips. “Potter, you shouldn’t think this much. It might hurt you.”
“But you think a lot?” He looked confused.
“I’m Lily Evans,” I said, smiling. “I can do stuff like that.”
“What if I like to think?”
I laughed out loud. “This conversation has gone beyond meaningless. Can we please stop it?”
“But...”
“If you like to think,” I said and looked at him, “become a philosopher. They think about stuff like that.”
He licked his lips. “But I don’t...”
“James, are you playing stupid, or are you actually this dumb?”
He frowned and looked down shortly. “Sorry.”
I smiled yet again. “It’s okay.”
We both returned to our work. Or that’s what I thought. Suddenly James spoke up with a certain excitement.
“Hey, you’ve mentioned me in this! ‘Potter’s less irritating in the afternoon’ ... Oh, wait. That’s not positive...”
I snorted. “James, give me the list please,” I said with a sigh, but the smile was still on my lips.
“Aw, can’t I keep it?” he asked, pouting.
“Stop pouting,” I laughed. “It doesn’t suit you.”
“Can you make a list for me then?” he asked. “One I can keep.”
“If you ask nicely,” I said and smirked.
He suddenly stopped smiling and looked at me with a gaze I hadn’t seen him use before. He slowly leaned back in his chair, but his eyes were still locked with mine. As he kept staring I moved uncomfortably.
“What?” I asked.
“Were we just flirting?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.
My eyes widened. “No,” I said. “Why would you think that?”
“I’m pretty sure we were,” he said and nodded. “You at least.”
“Me?” I asked and pointed at my chest. “As in me, Lily Evans?”
He nodded. “Yep. I’m pretty sure you flirted with me.”
I shook my head. “No... I’m pretty sure I didn’t.”
“I’m pretty sure you did.”
“Didn’t.”
“Did.”
“Didn’t.”
“Did.”
“Seriously, what are we, eight?” I asked suddenly. “James, leave it, okay?”
“Fine... but you flirted with me,” he said with a smirk.
I narrowed my eyes. “I think I know what I did.”
He kept smiling.
“You’re not going to leave it, are you?” I asked with a sigh.
“Nope.”
I bit my lower lip, looking into the papers. Then I looked up again. “Two galleons.”
“Two galleons what?” He frowned.
“Leave it and I’ll pay you two galleons. But then you must never mention it to anyone again!” I looked at him.
He smirked. “If you weren’t flirting, then why are you afraid? You shouldn’t be afraid.”
“I know who Sirius will believe if you told him.” I scowled. “Two galleons?”
“A date?” he asked with a grin.
“No,” I answered right away.
“Half a date?”
“No.”
“One hour date?”
“No.”
“Will you write a list about me then?”
“‘Ten Ways James Potter Annoys Me’?” I smirked.
He shrugged. “Whatever you feel like writing.”
I looked at him. “Can we get to work now, please?”
“If you say so.”

*

Feedback makes me smile, smiling makes me in the mood to write, writing makes chapters come faster. Shortly: Feedback!

List 4 – Strangest Words I’ve Ever Heard
I looked between the two of them. They both looked too confident, smiling even. Slowly, I crossed my arms. Then I turned my gaze at James and narrowed my eyes.
“What is he doing here?”
James grinned, looking at Sirius shortly. “He’s here to make sure you do not hit me again.”
“Excuse me? Me, hitting you?” I shook my head and smiled pleasantly. “I would never do that.”
“Ahh... I beg to differ. Sirius!” He snapped his fingers.
Sirius pulled a long piece of parchment up from his bag. He looked at it and started reading out loud, “Twenty-seventh of October, 1971, one forty-five, punch in the stomach. Fifth of December, 1971, nine eleven, slap in the face. Twenty-first of January, 1972, kick in the groin...” He looked at me. “Would you like me to continue? It increases through the years.”
I took a deep breath. “That is so low. Dating when I have hit you.”
James smiled. “Thought we should have something to show to our children one day.”
“Sirius, note this.” I got up, balling my hand into a hard fist.
Both Sirius and James got up. “Oh!” Sirius exclaimed. “Make love, not war.”
I glared at him and sat down. “Fine, flower child,” I looked at James again. “Now that we have our enemy counsellor here, can we get started?”
“You don’t want him to leave?” James asked, obviously surprised.
I shrugged. “He can stay. But nothing will come out of it. I won’t hit you.”
“Yeah, I don’t buy that,” Sirius said, shaking his head.
“I didn’t ask you to,” I bit.
“Seems I’m not the only one you need counselling with,” James said with a chuckle.
I turned to Sirius. “Okay, you can stay. I might hit him after all.”
“No, you can go,” James said to him.
“I want him to stay,” I said.
“You’re just doing that to annoy me.” James crossed his arms.
“Yes, I am.”
“But it’s not working.”
I raised an eyebrow. “I can see it is.”
“You’re not really great with sarcasm.”
“Oh, I disagree.”
James opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again. He looked around. “Where... Where did Sirius go?”
“He left you. Ha! He doesn’t care whether I hit you or not.”
“Does to.”
“Stop arguing with me.” I narrowed my eyes.
He smiled brightly.
“Look.” I found a parchment from my bag. “I asked the librarian yesterday, and she gave us a few names of some books that might help us. Could you please go get them?”
He chuckled. “You’re such a highbrow.”
I frowned. “I’m a what?”
“You know.” He rolled his eyes. “You’re so bookish and such. A highbrow.”
“Oh.” I looked at him. “That’s a strange word.”
“No, it’s not,” he said flatly. “It’s completely normal.”
“Interesting...” I said thoughtfully. “Very interesting.”
He suddenly raised both eyebrows. “Please don’t tell me you’ve written a list of strange words.”
I pursed my lips, looking out of the window.
“You have!” He suddenly smirked. “Is there anything you haven’t written a list of?”
“Things About James Potter Which I Like.”
“Because you’d never finish?” he asked, smirking.
“Because there’s nothing to write.”
“Yeah, whatever,” he laughed and snatched the list of books. “I’ll just go find those books.”
“Thanks.”
I started leafing through a book as he left. I let my head support in the palm of my hand, drowsily. I grabbed my quill and wrote a few lines on the parchment.
After a few minutes James returned with a huge stack of books. I was sure the table was going to give away when the books landed on it with a crash.
“I doubt very much we’re going to use half of these,” he said.
“Me too,” I said. “But now we’ve got them, and if we didn’t, we couldn’t get the information they might have.”
Slowly he nodded. “Onomatopoeia.”
“What?”
“Onomatopoeia,” he repeated.
“I heard you. But what do you mean?”
“It’s a strange word.” He smiled. “Figure you could use it for your list.”
I nearly laughed. “Are you helping me with my lists now?”
He shrugged. “I help where I can.”
“And what does the word mean?”
“Yeah, I don’t really know.” He shook his head very slowly.
I rolled my eyes. “In the future, I’d like to write my lists on my own. Thank you very much.”
He smiled. “What’s the strangest word on the list?”
“I’m not letting you read this.”
“Please?”
I shook my head. “Nope.”
“Give me a word then.”
“Rhinotillexomania.”
“Bless you?”
I shook my head. “It’s a metaphor of picking nose.”
“Oh.” He smiled. “Cataglottism.”
“What?”
The smile grew into a smirk. “I could show you.”
I nearly laughed. “With that tone you use, I doubt very much I want you to show me.”
“Alas,” he said with a sigh.
“What does it mean?” I asked with a grin.
“Kissing with the tongue,” he grinned and licked his lips.
“Somehow I’m glad I didn’t agree,” I smirked.
He leaned back and slammed both of his feet onto it. Slowly he let his chair tilt a little back. I laid down the quill, looking at him.
“Aren’t you going to write some?”
“I found the books,” he said with a sigh. “I’m on a break.”
“Yeah, but I was working the first five minutes when you were goofing around with Sirius. You were late, again.”
“That was uncalled for,” he said. “You know, we all have our things. One of my things just happens to be that I’m always late.”
“And being an idiot.”
“Yeah, I know you like me. You have your things too.”
I groaned and leaned back. “Are we ever going to get this done?”
“I very much doubt it.”
“Yeah, thought so too.”
He started whistling. I narrowed my eyes at him. Then I took a stack of the books and put them in between us.
“The Great Wall of the Library,” he snickered from the other side.
I stuck my head past the stack. “Seriously, what did you smoke today?”
He grinned. “I don’t smoke.”
“You’re truly in fact annoying.”
“I try,” he said with a smirk.
“Okay, enough,” I said. “James, we do not speak until we’ve written a little more.”
“Sign language?”
“Enough!” I yelled. I grabbed the largest book right at my hand and threw it after him.
Laughing he dodged it easily. I growled loudly and threw my hands in the air.
“I’m seriously considering killing you.”
“In one hundred seventy-four ways?” he smirked. “Maybe Sirius should have stayed.”
“Yes, and I’m thinking I’ll use number one hundredth and thirteen,” I said.
“You even know the numbers of each way?” he asked.
“Yep,” I said with a nod. “It’s calming reading for me.”
He sighed. “Look, I’ve written nearly one whole page today. Ain’t that enough? You can go, I don’t want to die.”
“No, I don’t want to leave you hanging with the report.”
He grinned. “I planned on leaving too.”
I rolled my eyes. “You’re not the gentleman, huh?”
“Never said I was.”
I sighed deeply. He got up and picked up the book I’d thrown after him. He put it on the top of the stack on the middle of the table. He picked up the books and his bag. He looked at me.
“Well?” he asked.
“Oh, we’re leaving?” I asked.
He nodded. “We’re not getting anything done today.”
I got up. “Again.”
He smiled with a shrug. “We’ll catch up.”
“Fine.” I picked up the rest of the books and my bag. “But I’ll go through the books tonight.”
“No reading of violent lists?” he asked with a grin.
“No, not tonight.”

*

Feedback, thanks!

- Vicki

List 5 – Things That Just Don’t Match
I kept my head bent over even though I still could feel his gaze on me. He’d been looking at me the last ten minutes and it was driving me crazy. I looked at him shortly just to meet his gaze. I looked down again.
“Why don’t you get back to work?” I asked.
“Why were you late?” he asked for what seemed like the twentieth time.
“It’s still not any of your concern,” I said without looking at him.
“You were fifteen minutes late,” he said easily, “it is any of mine concern. Come on.”
“Shut up.”
“Did you have a hot date?”
I looked up at him with a raised eyebrow, just to see his expression. It showed nothing, maybe he had a tiny glint of something I could not recognise, but otherwise I saw nothing.
“Jealous?”
He looked away.
“If it were a date, you wouldn’t be jealous, would you?”
“Nope,” he said firmly, but his eyes drifted.
I smiled. “No need to be, okay? I wasn’t on a date.”
“What was it then?” he asked and sighed. “You can tell me.”
“It’s a private matter. I only share private matters with my friends. You, my co-worker, are not my friend.”
He smirked. “So you had a hot date. You lied.”
“No, James,” I said with a sigh.
“Come on!” he whined. “Give me some of the juicy details.”
“You don’t want the juicy details,” I said honestly and looked at him. “Trust me.”
“Yes, I do,” he said. “Please, Lily.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
I looked up at him, a smile playing at my lips. “Are you sure?”
He nodded eagerly. “Yes.”
“Okay,” I said and lay down my quill. “I got my period when I was halfway down here and had to go back. You want any more details?”
He took a few seconds to absorb that bite of information. Then his eyebrows slowly rose up and a deep red colour spread from his neck, slowly covering his cheeks and then his whole face. He looked away. I smiled, studying him.
“Told you you didn’t wanna know,” I said.
“Okay, can’t we go back to work?” he asked, not meeting my gaze. The colour was slowly fading from his cheeks.
I rolled my eyes. “James, there’s no need to be embarrassed about that,” I said. “Oh, will you please look at me?”
He did, the blush returning.
“It’s a normal thing,” I said, looking him straight in the eye. “And every girl has it, okay?”
“You know what?” he asked and raised his hands. “Guys don’t need that kind of information. It just doesn’t match.”
I nodded, sending him a smile. “I have written it down.”
He frowned a few seconds. “You mean...” He sounded hesitating. “You’ve made a list of that too?”
I nodded. “A list of things that just don’t match.”
He grinned. “What’s on that?”
“A lot of things,” I said and shrugged easily.
“Can I see?”
“James, of all the time which we should be writing this report we read my lists instead. It’s a waste of time. No, okay?”
“No, it’s not okay.”
“Well, live with it,” I said harshly and raised a big book between us so I shouldn’t have to look at him.
I wrote a few words down before the book was gone again. James was looking at me, holding the book in his one hand.
“No one blocks me away, Lily,” he said sincerely. “You should know better.”
I looked at him with a sceptically look. “Is that so?”
He nodded. “Uhu. Now you have to pay me by showing me your list.”
“I’m not showing you all of my lists. They’re private.”
“Oh, come on,” he said and smirked. “It’s not like I ask you to show me the list of the guys you wished you’d kissed, but never got to.”
“I have made such one,” I said. “And trust me, you’re not on it.”
“No, because you know that’s going to happen anyhow.”
“You’re so self-confident it’s sickening.”
He laughed and threw the book onto the floor. “You know...” He leaned towards me over the table. “A kiss says a lot about the chemistry between two persons. If you just tried to kiss me, first then you’d be able to see if we really would be that horrible together.”
“I know we would already,” I said and leaned a bit closer to him. “So just drop it okay? The only thing you get is this!”
I flicked a book up from the table, making it him on the side of his head. He tumbled off the table and chair, landing on the floor with a thud and a loud ‘ouch’. I laughed loud. He moved around on the floor for several long seconds before he jumped up with a paper in his hand.
“Haha!” he exclaimed. “I found your list!”
I got up from the chair. “You went through my bag?!”
“Yes,” he said and looked at me. “But don’t worry. I saw nothing which I’ll tell to others. I just want to see the list.”
I was about to jump onto him and hit him, but he ran to the other side of the table. He laughed shortly.
“You know. When you fight this much for it I get to think there’s secret things written that you don’t want me to know.”
I crossed my arms. “Fine,” I hissed. “Just read it. I don’t care.”
He smiled triumphantly and sat down at his chair. Slowly I did the same in mine. He hadn’t read the list for five seconds before he laughed loud.
“‘Sirius Black and Fannie Long’?” he asked and looked at me.
I shrugged. “Those two were just a horrible couple.”
“Can’t disagree on you there. Hmm...” His eyes turned to the paper again. “You actually have a few nice points here.”
“I know.”
He suddenly laid down the paper and looked at me. “Why are you making such lists?” he asked with a slight frown.
“I don’t know,” I said, shrugging. “Maybe it’s the thought of never being able to say some of the things out loud. Maybe it’s wishful thinking. Maybe I just need to make the time pass. Who knows?”
He smiled softly. “I like it. I think you’re using your energy differently than most people. Like... Take me and the guys... We prank people and make trouble. Sandra Thomason gossips. I think it all shows something different about us and the way we handle things.”
I frowned deeply, turning his words a few times. Then I nodded. “Yeah. Maybe you’re right.”
“But I think crisps and popcorn can easily go.”
I grimaced. “No. When having eaten just one crisp the popcorn will taste flat and boring afterwards. No, it’s not working.”
He frowned. “But apart you can eat them, right?”
“Yeah,” I said with a nod. “But not at the same time.”
He chuckled and looked at the list again. “‘Bananas and homework’?”
I nodded. “Yeah. Everything gets sticky when you eat a banana while doing homework. And then there’s the banana skin all over. It’s icky and smells funny. No.”
He raised an eyebrow. “You do know I’m bringing a banana one of the next times we’re to do this report, right?”
“No, you’re not,” I said flatly.
“Yes,” he said and looked at the papers, not paying me any attention.
“You just love to do anything I hate, don’t you?”
“Absolutely.” He sent me a grin.
“James, seriously,” I said with a sigh.
“Seriously what?” he asked.
“Be serious.”
He smiled at me. “Okay, but you’ve got to stop throwing books after me.” He rubbed his head.
“No can do,” I said. “I like throwing stuff after you.”
“I know that,” he said with a nod. “But it’s starting to hurt. You hit the same spot every time and I think you’ve started to do some damage.”
I sighed deeply. “Okay, I stop throwing things after you... for today. Can we now please start to work?”
He rolled his eyes and got up from the chair. He picked up the book from the floor and threw it onto the table.
“All right,” he said and sat down. “Let’s get started.”

*

Feedback please?.

- Vicki

Ohhh. I feel so very horrible for not updating this for months!!! I apologize, but I don't have much of an explanation besides I've been busy writing a lot of other stuff. I ask you, if you like my stories that is, to follow the link in my sig, HPFF, and read some of my stories there. They got me the award Featured Author of July on The Golden Snitches, a site dedicated to HP fanfictions and writing improvement.
Oh. And this chapter is dedicated to Astraea Echo on HPFF for inspiring me with title by mentioning another list which will be mentioned too. Thank you!
But please, if you're still there, do enjoy!

List 6 – Favourite Shampoo Smells
I pushed the door into the library open, and it slammed against the wall behind because of the power I used. I didn’t care, I was late.
I stopped dead as I saw our table. Our table. I slowed down and walked to the table. I stopped behind James who sat on his chair. On his right side sat Remus, on his left Peter, leaned over the table. And Sirius lay across the table, supporting his head in his hands. They all had their heads close together, whispering; apparently they didn’t want to let anyone hear what they were talking about.
I smiled. “Mind letting me in on it?”
They all looked at me. In a swift movement Sirius had snatched the papers from the table. I caught sight of a drawing looking a lot like the Great Hall and something which looked like a list of students before they were gone.
I placed my hands at my hips. “Okay, first of all, library is for studying, not prank planning. Second, this is James’ and my table, not yours. Third. Accio Papers!” I caught the papers as they flew out from Sirius’ grasp.
“Hey!”
“I know trouble when I see it. You four,” I pointed at each of them with my wand, “are a perfect example of that. Now, get out. James and I are to do some work here.”
Remus and Peter walked away without a word. Sirius stood a few seconds, looking at me.
I pointed at Sirius with my wand. “Move along, Black.”
“But, the papers... they-”
“Are mine now,” I said easily. “Now, get out before I hex you.”
He crossed his arms and followed Remus and Peter who waited at the door. I smiled easily and sat down. James was studying me. Slowly he crossed his arms.
“Can I have the papers back?”
I nearly laughed. “No, why would you think that?”
“Because we had to use them.”
I placed them on the table, studying them. The first was a map of the Great Hall. The tables were there, and so were the windows and doors. I looked at James.
“Why have you marked all the exits?”
He smiled. “Give them back and I might share it with you.”
I shook my head. I looked at the next paper. “Are these things you need to make this prank succeed?”
He crossed his arms. “I’m not sharing.”
I rolled my eyes, looking at the next paper. “What’s so special about these students?”
He shrugged slowly. “I’m still not sharing.”
“James, you’re head boy,” I said with a sigh and gathered the papers again. “You’re supposed to be the one to stop people from doing pranks.”
“Yeah, but that’s no fun.”
I smiled. “Seriously.”
“Yeah, whatever.”
He looked at me and I looked back. He slowly pulled a parchment up from his bag “I have a list for you.”
“What?”
He nodded. “I have come up with a list.”
“I come up with my own lists.”
“Ah, this is a good one.”
“I don’t doubt that,” I said dryly. “What’s it about?”
“’Shampoos That Would Make Me Want to Touch Snape’s Hair’.”
I laughed shortly as he handed the list to me. I quickly scanned it.
I raised an eyebrow. “I actually have made another list… it’s a little like it.”
“Uhu?” he asked.
I nodded. “Favourite Shampoo Smells.”
“What’s number one?”
“Pine,” I said with a smile.
“I’d have figured strawberry for you,” he mused.
“That’s number two.”
“Figures,” he muttered with a smile.
He looked down and started writing. Still smiling, I studied him a few seconds, wondering why he hadn’t always been this relaxed and nice to be around. He was actually human, not when he was with his friends, but at times like these, when it was just the two of us. It was a James I could actually work with without getting into an argument.
He looked up suddenly. “Are you going to write something?” he asked with a glint in his eyes.
“Oh,” I said, looking around for my quill.
I found it and in the rush to get to it, I knocked over the inkbottle and ink splattered over most of the books.
“Damn,” I muttered.
While James quickly made the ink disappear with his wand, I picked up the inkbottle and cleaned it too. I sighed.
“It’s okay,” he said. “No books got permanent damage.”
I smiled. “That’s a plus.”
“How about ink for smell?”
I wrinkled my nose. “No, thanks. I’d be afraid my hair would be black afterwards.”
“I think black hair is nice,” he said with a grin.
“Yes,” I agreed with a sigh. “Just not on me.”
He laughed suddenly. I looked up at him, flabbergasted.
“What?”
He shook his head. “It was just the way you said it. And just so you know, I’ll take it as a compliment.”
“Just do that,” I said easily. “In some way I guess it was. But I never meant you specific. Sirius has black hair too.”
He rolled his eyes. “But seeing he’s not around, I’d say it was meant for me.”
“Keep dreaming, Potter.”
“About you, Evans.”
I rolled my eyes, feeling my neck heat up. Fortunately the blush never reached my cheeks.
“So what about eyes?” he grinned.
“I like ‘em blue,” I said. “I always envied my sister’s. She’s got blue eyes.”
“There’s nothing wrong with green eyes,” he muttered. “Look at me.”
I did quickly, making him smile.
“I don’t see why you envy your sister. You have a pair of emerald green eyes, and that’s prettier than any pair of blue eyes at any time.”
I smiled, feeling the blush again. “No need to flatter.”
“I’m just honest.” He leaned back in his chair, putting his hands behind his head. “My mum’s got green eyes. Just like yours. I always wanted them; instead I had to be thankful for my father’s eyes. Brown and dull.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Be thankful for what you’ve got,” I said. “Brown is a nice colour, and at least they’re not red.”
“Yeah, that’d be horrible,” he laughed.
I smiled. He suddenly leaned forward, looking at me.
“I sounded a lot like a girl there, didn’t I?”
“What do you mean?” I asked with a frown.
He shrugged. “With the talk about hair – and eye colour.”
“You’re not a real man before you’re in touch with your feminine side and dare to stand by it.”
He grinned. “Okay, I’m a real man then.”
“Never thought that day would come,” I said.
We both laughed shortly.
“Cheers to that,” he said and quickly ran a hand through his hair. “So are we now to discuss teeth, noses and the way people are dressed? And what about make-up?”
“We can skip that part,” I said with a nod.
He smiled. “That’s probably a good idea.”
“Probably.”
He grinned widely. “But we can talk about Quidditch.”
I groaned. “Or, we could write this thing?”
“Which team is your favourite team?”
I rolled my eyes. “I don’t keep track of Quidditch.”
“How can you not?”
I shrugged. “I’ve got other things to do.”
“Like?”
“Write lists. Have a life.”
“Listen, you can’t write lists and have a life,” he said and waved with his hand. “It’s very ‘I-have-no-life’-ish.”
I stuck out my tongue. “I’m not talking to you again before we’re writing at this report.”
“Yeah, yeah,” he sighed. He grabbed a book and started reading.
I smiled, looking at him a few seconds. Just when I was about to look away again, he looked up, catching my eyes. He smiled.
“What about coconut?” he asked.
“What?” I asked with a grin. “What do you mean?”
“Shampoo smell.”
I shrugged. “It itches in my nose a bit. I like pineapple though.”
He nodded slowly. “Okay, let’s write something, shall we?”
“Absolutely.”

*

Feedback

- Vicki

There will be two more chapters,a nd I think they will be up before the end of the month.
Dedicated to eboni_black from HPFF who came up with this great chapter title

List 7 – 27 Ways To Make a House Elf Dance

As I waited for James to get back with the book I started humming a song I couldn’t remember the name or text off. I drummed my fingers onto the table.

Suddenly the big heavy book slammed onto the table. I jumped up in my seat and looked at James who was laughing.

“What was the name of that song?” he asked, smirking.

I narrowed my eyes at him. “Shut up, okay?”

“Hey, come on.” He sat down. “I like it.”

“You don’t even know the text,” I pointed out.

“No, but it can be good anyways.”

“I doubt that.”

He frowned. “In a way you’re contradicting yourself now. You hum a song, but doubt it can be good.”

I was on my way to protest when James held up a hand. I knew there was no was discussing it with him so I rolled my eyes. Besides... he was right.

“I like the melody of songs,” he said. “So they can be good even though it’s a crappy text.” He grabbed for a book.

I took a deep breath, blowing out loud. “I really don’t want to discuss this with you, because you’re impossible. You never listen to other people.”

“I listen, yes. But some things I chose to just ignore.” He sent me a smirk over the book.

“Yes, I do know.”

“And I’m always right so there’s no reason to listen to others.”

I sighed, slowly picking up the book. “Is this the only thing you found?”

“Uhu,” he said with a nod.

“You’re useless.”

“I’m not. Think of what you would do without me.”

“Live happily?” I suggested.

He grinned. “It doesn’t even sound as if you mean it.”

I looked at him a few seconds. I had to admit, if I’d gotten to work with Ava during this report, I wouldn’t have had half as much fun. James made me smile and laugh at times, no doubt about it.

“But I do,” I said after a few seconds

He eyed me. “Yeah, you think so.”

“Oh, James, just give it up, will you?” I said with a sigh.

He sighed, leaning back while letting his feet rest on the table. “No. And while I’m at it...” He grabbed for his bag and pulled something up from it. “Here.”

I caught the banana just in time. “What? Why?”

“Bananas and homework,” he said with a wink.

I scowled at him and found my wand and the banana vanished with a simple spell. I looked at him a few seconds. He looked back at me.

“Have you ever wondered what house elves do when they’ve got nothing to do?” he asked suddenly.

I snorted with laughter, purely out of surprise. “No, why?”

He shrugged. “Just wondering. See, we don’t have a house elf at home, so I’ve never been able to ask one.”

I raised an eyebrow. “You’ve never been in the kitchens?”

He grinned. “Just about a few hundredth times. Why?”

“Well, why did you never ask them?”

He smiled, licking his lips. He leaned over the table. “It’s not polite, miss Evans.”

“What do I know?” I asked with a shrug. “I’m a simple mu-”

“Don’t say it,” he said with a sigh.

I looked at him. I couldn’t read his gaze, but he looked quite sad. That couldn’t be right?

“Don’t say what?” I asked slowly.

He slowly leaned back. “Nothing is simple about you. And even though you are a “simple muggle born” I don’t find you so.”

I suddenly smiled. “Thank you, James.”

He smiled back. “So now that we’re at the topic... Do you have any lists about how crazy house elves are?”

I blushed suddenly.

“You have, haven’t you?”

I smiled, looking down. “Kind of.”

“What’s it called?” He smirked.

“No.”

“It’s called ‘No’?”

“No, but you don’t have to know. It’s not important.”

He sent me a smile. “Please?”

I sighed deeply. “27 Ways To Make a House Elf Dance,” I answered then.

“Will you let me see it?”

I licked my lips, thinking fast. “Do you have your wand on you?”

He frowned. “What? Yes, it’s in my pocket.”

I smiled, grabbing for my wand under my table. “Then no.”

“Whyyyy?”

“Because,” I said, “Accio Potter’s Wand!”

I grabbed his wand as it flew right out of his pocket and into my hand. I grinned. He looked at me a few seconds.

“Well, I’m reading that list if you want it or not,” he answered flatly. “You might as well give it to me now.”

“I don’t think I want to.” I pointed both wands at him. “Be careful. I’ve got two wands and you’ve got none.”

He rolled his eyes. “Fine.”

He grabbed for the big heavy book and began reading it. I eyed him suspiciously a few seconds and then began reading too. After a few minutes I looked up, but he sat perfectly still. I looked down again, continuing.

At the end of the page I found a good quote and looked up to find my quill. He was gone. I got up from my chair, first then noticing he was on the floor, silently looking through my bag.

“Oh, no you’re not!” I hissed, pointing my wand at him. “Percus Brevis!”

With a yelp he jumped away, rubbing his hand. “Electricity?” he exclaimed. “Freaking electricity?”

I smirked. “Don’t ever go through a woman’s bag, Potter. Or purses for that matter.”

He narrowed his eyes at me. “If you weren’t a girl, I’d both tackle and hex you now.” He slowly got up.

“Just do it,” I said, getting up to, pointing the wands at him. “But I have your wand.”

He looked at me a few seconds. Then without giving any sign in advantage he jumped. I screamed and jumped out of the way. Too late though. His left arm wrapped around my waist and I tumbled onto the floor along with him.

He grabbed for his wand but I held it out of reach, laughing hard. “Get off of me!”

I was on my stomach, him crawling across me, trying to get to his wand.

“It hurts!” I yelled.

“Cry baby,” he muttered as he rolled off of my back and snatched for his wand again.

I still had it out of reach. I did a quick roll I had learned when I was younger and fighting with the two neighbour twins. James was much smarter though. I hadn’t rolled more than halfway when he was there, grabbing for the wand again.

I gasped as his elbow bore into my stomach. He didn’t notice though and simply grabbed his wand.

“Ha, ha!” he laughed.

“That’s fine, James,” I muttered.

He looked down at me, frowning. “You okay, Evans?”

I breathed in hardly, mumbling, “Think so.”

“What?” he asked, “Evans? You okay?”

I nodded, suddenly noticing he lay halfway on top of me. I simply stared at him as he didn’t move and just looked back at me. The hurt in my stomach was long gone again and suddenly replaced by something different. I felt my heart pounder loud, and blood rising to my cheeks. He slowly raised his eyebrows.

“I’m fine,” I whispered.

He smiled. “Said I’d tackle you.”

“You did,” I agreed.

He slowly pushed himself off of me and sat up. I looked at him as he got up slowly. He offered me a hand which I took thankfully.

“You wanted to see the list?” I asked with a grin.

“You’ll let me see it?”

“Well, with tackles like that you deserve it.”

He smiled as I pulled a list up from the bag, handing it to him.

“And I’m still not allowed to add points?”

“No.” I shook my head.

He smiled softly, lowering his gaze. I studied him a few seconds, brushing my skirt down. I looked away, absentminded.

“I would love to try number three! ‘A few bottles of butterbeer and music’. Yeah, I bet that’d do it.”

I sat down again, licking my lips. I kept an eye on him as he sat down too, not even looking up from the parchment. I leaned back, looking down.

“I don’t think point twenty-one will work?”

I leaned across the table. “Which one is that?”

He looked up. “‘Throw clothes after them.”

“Why not?”

“They’ll run then.”

“Not if you’re standing in a circle around them,” I said and moved my finger in a small circle.

He suddenly laughed. “You realise just how mean that is, right?”

I shrugged. “Yeah, but who ever said I was going to do it?” I smiled. “James, that’s the point of the lists. They’re not real and I won’t ever do such stuff.”

He nodded slowly. “They’re great, Lily.”

“Thanks,” I said with a smile.

He slowly lowered the list. “I was wondering about something.”

“And that’s gonna end up hurting you.”

He rolled his eyes. “Why do you always have your lists in your bag? Why not in your dorm?”

“Because...” I rolled my eyes. “I write on them in classes, and that’s why I have them in my bag. And I haven’t got all of them there. Just those I’ve written on recently, that’s why I can remember them so well.”

He nodded slowly. “So you have many more?”

“Loads.”

“Ahh.” He looked at me. “Report work?”

“Yeah.” I said with a nod. “I think it’s time to work a little on it.”

*
[url=http://www.veritaserum.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=25839&st=15]
Reviews, por favor.[/url]

- Vicki

One more chapter to go. The next one will be up soon. I promise! I know I've said so before, but it will be up before the end of the year, and that's for sure. I don't want to leave any open stories when I'm away for three months! Anyways... enjoy!
Oh, and this is dedicated to girly1393 on HPFF for idea for list.

List 8 – 21 Things Never to Say to Professor Slughorn

I nearly tumbled over James as I rounded a corner near our table. “Sorry!” I breathed. “Sorry, sorry!”

He picked up the book he had dropped and looked at me. “It’s okay, Lily. Don’t worry.”

I brushed my hair out of my face. “And sorry I’m late.”

“Yeah...” He shifted the weight to his left leg. “Why is that?”

I waved with my hand and started walking towards the table again. “Said the wrong thing to Slughorn and you know when first he’s started...” I sighed loudly. “He’s not stoppable.”

“Yeah, I know. So what did you say?”

“Something about an article in the Prophet... Apparently he knows the writer of it.” I rubbed my forehead and slowly sat down. “So have you found anything?”

“Yeah.” He showed me the book. It wasn’t big. “Very interesting, I think.”

I raised an eyebrow at him. “Really?”

“No, I made that up. I believe it impresses you.”

“Well, congratulations. You now ruined that chance.”

He laughed. “I believe that I should be awarded for my try.”

I raised an eyebrow at him. “Is that so?” He nodded. “How?”

He shrugged, a smile playing his lips. “I’m sure you can come up with something.”

And I blushed. Maybe it was his tone, maybe the smile and the look he sent me, or maybe the picture that suddenly popped up in my mind.

I looked away. He sat down on the chair, throwing his feet onto the table. He didn’t seem to have noticed my sudden change in colour because he wasn’t even looking at me, but a new book.

“So you haven’t made a list of Slughorn?” he asked, though not looking. “He’s a very interesting man, I’m sure you can make very interesting lists.”

I smiled and started looking through the book in front of me. “I have made several. I’ve made lists of most teachers at Hogwarts.”

“What about the students?”

I sighed. “Only a few.”

“I feel lucky you made one of me.”

I smirked and looked at him the very second he looked up from his book too. “Well,” I started, “it’s not exactly a positive way, is it?”

He smirked. “I believe that it’s your inner feelings for me that have made you write a list about me. You want my attention, therefore you write a list about me.”

“I do not!”

“Lily, it’s okay not to want to admit it. I know it.” He took a hand to his heart. “I can feel it, deep down inside.”

I couldn’t come up with any answer to it and just stared at him for several seconds. Then I grabbed the nearest book and threw it at him. He ducked, but it still brushed the side of his head. He hit the floor, but was up again a second later.

“What did I say about throwing things?!” he exclaimed.

“What did I say about not being able to stop it?”

He relaxed in his posture. “Yeah, that’s right.”

“Uhu.”

He sat down, throwing his feet onto the table. “So that list about Slughorn...?”

“21 Things Never to Say to Professor Slughorn,” I said quickly looking up. “I have a new point to it.”

“Can I see?”

I smiled. “I don’t have it with me.”

“Is that a lie or is it true?” He raised an eyebrow at me.

“Why would I be lying?”

“Why would you not?”

“Because I don’t lie.”

“You do, Evans. Everyone does.”

“I do not.” I crossed my arms. “Name one example.”

He smirked and crossed his arms too, in a way mocking me. “That time you told me you were dating a muggle from home, just so I would leave you alone.”

“That wasn’t a lie.”

“I heard you told Ava it was.” He grinned. “Evans, I know when you’re lying. I can see it.”

I looked away. “Yeah? How so?”

“It’s the way your eyes flicker when you do and you do a little twist with your eyebrows.” He leaned forward in his chair, trying to catch my eye, but I didn’t meet his glance. “Most people show signs like the last one. A slight frown, a curl the upper lip or a little flick of pain across the mouth. Our face gives us away.”

I didn’t like that thought. I met his eye shortly.

“Am I easy to read?”

He laughed. “In fact, no. Only when you let your anger get away. I think if you wanted to, you could be a skillet lair.”

“That’s not something to brag about.”

“I am.”

“That’s what I said.” I grinned at him. “But somehow you never get away with trouble. How is that, James?”

He laughed. “They know it’s us. Our style, it’s recognisable.”

“And your pranks are the only ones where it’s not obvious who did them.”

He frowned. “What? You mean that the fact that they don’t know who it is, leads them to us? Tells them it’s us?”

I nodded. “Is that confusing?”

“A little.” He scratched his head. “But yeah, I guess you’re right. We’ve got to start blaming people.”

“James Potter!” I raised a book. “Be careful now!”

He ducked under the table. “You know what?” he called from underneath. “I’ll just write down here.”

“James?” I sighed.

“No! I’ll end up getting a concussion!”

I laughed and slid down from my chair, joining him beneath the table. He looked at me, frowning. I shrugged, gave him a glance and then started reading. He was still looking at me, I knew. I could feel it.

“Stop gawking Potter and do some work.” I met his eyes. “Now.”

He smiled quickly. “You know what people will think when they see us sitting under the table, almost as if not wanting to be seen?”

I raised an eyebrow. “No?”

“I’ll assume...” He trailed off. “You know!”

I suppressed a laugh. “Then it’s a good thing we know the truth.” I looked at the book, but didn’t read anything. “You have to stop worrying about what people think.” I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.

“I do not.”

I glanced at him quickly. “Don’t lie, Potter, we both know you love it when people love you. You want people to look up to you, see you as a star.” I sighed. “And they do, so really you have nothing to worry about.”

He was quiet for several seconds. I looked up at him. He was simply looking at me, not staring, just looking. He slowly opened his mouth.

“I never asked for any of that,” he said then. “It was just...” He sighed.

“The way it turned out?” I finished carefully. “I don’t think people blame you, James. And well, people need someone to look up to. It’s like they need that handsome bloke and that blonde bimbo.” I licked m lips. “To make a society work, certain roles have got to be filled, and some of us are just unlucky. Not everyone deserves to be where they are. In both ends.”

He smiled softly. “You don’t think I deserve to be where I am, do you?”

I looked down for a second before meeting his eye. He was frowning very softly and I sensed he wanted to truth, and I’d give him that.

“No,” I answered. “I don’t.”

He broke the eye contact, looking away.

“But you don’t not deserve it either.” I reached forward, touching his arm softly, making him look up. “It’s something in between. And I think there’re people that could do a lot worse. And truthfully, I think you’re the best man for the job you’ve got.”

“You’re contradicting with what you just said.”

I nodded. “I know. But I simply mean that you might not have deserved to get where you are, but when seeing you in your role around, it fits you. It’s you. You are what people expect you to be and that’s... great. You know?” I frowned at my own unsuccessful attempt to put my thought in words.

He frowned. “Um... I think...”

I suddenly laughed. “I’m sorry I can’t be clearer. But can’t we just say I think you deserve it now?”

He nodded slowly.”Yeah, we can.”

“And does it matter what I think as long as you’re happy where you are?”

He shrugged. “A little.”

I nodded, before looking into the book again, though not reading. I couldn’t concentrate.

“Are you satisfied with your place?”

I looked up at him. He was frowning and suddenly looked sad, thoughtful. I took a deep breath, thinking, before I answered.

“Yes.” I nodded. “I am now.”

So this is the last chapter - I wanted to get this up and get my attention on my other WIPs on HPFF. I hope you've enjoyed this story so far. Thanks to everyone who have read this far. Thanks to everyone who reviewed especially.

And remember to review this last chapter

List 9 – Reasons To Go On a Date With James Potter

“No,” I muttered to myself and with a flick of my wand erased the last written line. “No, no, no. Sounds too... needy. Maybe... Hmm...”

I wrote a new point. Erased that too and then bit my lower lip, thinking. A new point. I sighed deeply and dipped the quill, finishing the line with a big bow on the last letter. Then I dotted to end the sentence.

“Whatcha doing?” James sat down on the chair opposite of me.

“Writing,” I muttered, shielding my parchment from him. I didn’t look at him. “Why are you asking?”

“Because I’m interested.” He leaned over the table but I hid the paper. “Evans!”

“Potter!” I mimicked, smirking. I caught his eye and it turned into a smile instead.

He grinned back. “It’s another list, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” I answered truthfully.

“May I read it?”

I nodded. “Yes, you may. But not now.”

He slowly leaned backwards, stretching his legs under the table. His feet brushed against my legs and I pulled them back, under the chair. I looked away.

“Anything wrong?” he asked.

I looked at him shortly, finding him frowning. I shook my head. “I’m fine, James. Thank you.” Well, it was only half a lie.

“Lily?”

I suppressed a smile. “Not now, James,” I said, avoiding his glance. “We’re working now.”

“Well, I’m not.”

“Then you should.”

He nodded and reached for a book. “What about you? Don’t you have to work?”

“I want to finish this today,” I muttered with a frown.

“Is it that important?” He frowned, though searching through the book at the same time. “What’s the list called anyways?”

“It’s a secret.”

He looked up. “A secret?”

I nodded. “A secret. For now.” I met his glance shortly. “Relax, James. I’ve promised you’ll get a look, and you will. When time comes.”

“Fine.”

He lifted the book between us, almost as if hiding himself, building a wall between us. I frowned, and then smiled. He was so silly sometimes.

I sighed deeply and quickly wrote the point down. I supported my chin in the palm of my hand, my eyes on him again. I could only just see his eyes over the book, brown behind the glasses. They were round, the glasses, fitting him. His hair was growing a little too long in my taste. It was almost reaching his eyes. I was thinking.

“Evans, stop staring.”

“What?” I lifted my head, but not removing my gaze from him.

He lowered the book so I could see him smiling slightly. “You heard me. Why are you staring anyways?”

I blushed. “Um...”

“Yes?”

“I-I was just... Um, thinking. I wasn’t staring at you per se... I was merely thinking... and you were sitting in front of me and... um... yeah. That’s it.”

He laughed. “I didn’t mean to make you all stuttering and stuff.” He straightened up. “What are you writing about?”

“Nothing!”

“Evans?” He tried to look at the list, but I pulled it away. “What is it?”

“You’ll see,” I assured him. “Just a minute, James.”

He tilted his head. “Why won’t you let me see?”

I licked my lips slowly, thinking. “Give me two minutes, and I’ll be done and you can see.”

“Okay.” He slammed the book shut and left.

I breathed out a sigh of relief and started writing yet another point to my list. I looked at it a few seconds and then wrote what I knew was the last point. I read it and then folded the paper once and got up from the chair.

I sat on the table, feeling my heart beat fast. My left hand was even shaking a little bit.

Then he came back. Hands in his pockets and relaxed attitude. He stopped in front of me.

“You’re done?”

I nodded and held up the list. He reached for it, but I pulled it away.

“Um...” I uttered, but said nothing more.

He smirked, meeting my glance. “What’s on that list, Evans?”

I swallowed. “It’s a list.”

“I know that.”

I placed the list on the table behind me, both of my hands holding it. “Are you sure you want to read it?”

“Positive.” He leaned a little closer, putting one hand on the table. “Well?”

“It might not be what you expected,” I told him. “It’s your list, remember? The list I promised to write to you.”

“I’m sure I can handle it,” he said with a smile and reached for the list, coming closer.

I moved it further away. “I wouldn’t be so sure of that, Potter,” I said, my voice lowering now.

His eyes flickered to mine a second. “I’m always sure.”

Very slowly he reached forward, coming so close our bodies were almost touching and faces mere centimetres apart. He never broke the eye contact. I swallowed, feeling my stomach twist a few times.

“Yeah. I know,” I whispered.

I let the paper slide out from my fingers, into his grasp and he leaned away. I breathed out. I closed my eyes, begging I had done the right thing. I straightened up, still feeling him close to me, but not looking at him. I drummed my fingers against each other, feeling the sweat.

Just then a finger poked my cheek and my eyes shot open. James was studying me closely, not smiling, but not looking sour or irritated either. Nothing. I looked away.

“So this list,” he said slowly, making the sweat break out on my forehead. “What do I need to do with it?”

My eyes flashed to him. “What? You’re asking what you need to do with it?”

He stood still, just looking at me. I wondered what was going through his mind. Did he not get a hint? It was written just there! Ink on parchment! How did he not get that?

I jumped down from the table and snatched the paper and pointed at the headline. “You’re seriously asking me what to do with it, Potter?”

He ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah. You’re a hard girl to read, Evans. You’re sending all these mixed signals... I’m not sure what exactly to do with them.”

“I’ll give you mixed signals,” I muttered under my breath.

“What?”

And before I knew what happened, I slapped him.

And time seemed to stop. My hand didn’t even lower completely, and I stood with half raised hand, looking at James. James too looked dumbstruck. His mouth was slightly open, his cheek slowly reddening and his eyes wide and he wasn’t even blinking.

“And now,” I said calmly, though then taking a deep, unsteady breath, “you ask me to Hogsmeade.”

His eyebrows rose. “I ask you to Hogsmeade?”

“Correct,” I said with a nod. I lowered my hand.

“Okay.” He shook his head as if trying to get some fly away. “Um, Evans, please, go to Hogsmeade with me. There’s one in two weeks.”

“That’s not a question. That’s a demand.”

“Um...” He seemed to struggle with it. “Will you please go to Hogsmeade with me?”

I smiled. “Yeah. I’d like that.”

“So,” He seemed to gather himself, “Can I kiss you now?”

He neared. I placed a hand over his mouth, pushing him away. “Keep dreaming, Potter.”

“Awww...” he groaned under my hand.

I sent him a grin. “Consider it when more appropriate.”

“Okay.”

I slowly turned and sat down at the table. “We still have work to be done, Potter.”

He looked at me and then slowly dragged his chair closer to mine. “Hey, Evans, I was wondering-”

“No, not now,” I sighed. I looked up. “Stop wondering, James. One day you’ll hurt yourself when doing so. Just go along with it.”

He nodded. “Yeah. That I’ll do.” He thought about it for a few seconds and then looked at me with a frown. “Does that mean that I can only kiss you if you kiss me?”

I couldn’t help laughing. “No. Just... be yourself. That’s what girls like.”

And then he did it, maybe even surprising himself. He kissed me. And then I surprised myself, kissing him back.

It was just a short kiss. Sweet, to the point. It made me blush. James looked pleased with himself as he leaned back, smirking.

“Well timed?” he asked.

I shrugged, looking away. “It was fine.”

And then I realised something about it. It was the perfect kiss. Sweet, short, to the point. And most importantly of all, it made me wanting more.

I glanced at him, meeting his eyes and couldn’t help grinning too widely. He smiled back, making my stomach hurt in that nice way everyone loves.

*

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- Vicki