Hey guys. It would really help me if you could just leave some feedback/comments to improve. My fan fiction can be found here

First to post feedback, yay!

Well, yeah, you were right, it's short
And seeing as I wasn't really listening while you were telling Conor about it, I don't understand the term 'demented' (in your story, obviously, I know what it means!) but I guess I'll find out as the story goes on, huh?

The descriptions were really good, as usual, something that I envy You and Rach are both really good at that! This Damero guy sounds interesting, if a little eccentric and weird. (living with Dementors? *shudder*)

Well anyway, I look forward to reading more!

Thanks Caoimhe, that feedback really helped Woo, confidence! Anyway, I'm going to try and write a lot more in Chapter 2, I hope you like it And I'm sure if people read the Seer Unforseen they'd love it.

No problem, that's what friends are for
Eh... that got deleted
Ah well, I was never going to finish it.

WOW!! Amazing idea! This is by far my favorite fanfic so far even though you've only posted one chapter!! You're brilliant! I can't wait for more!! SO excited now! You better be quick with you're writing because I'm a little impatient! hahaha just kidding! Take you're time just as long as it's good!

~Bronwyn

That's so good! interested as to what 'demented' means, in the story. please update soon, I cant wait to find out more!

Lottie
xxx

Yaaaay!!! You're writing a fanfic!!!! XD

It sounds interesting and I have to say it is the only fanfic I have ever read like it. Ohhh wouldn't it be interesting to know how a dementor thinks? I've always thoguht of them kind of like vampires except they suck the soul not the blood.....*shiver*....lovely stuff.

Is Damero a dementor or one of those people with that rare blood line thing because he was painting and....I just can't see a dementor painting.

okey dokey I am gonna go get a toffee waffle.

Damero is a Wizard, a Dark Wizard who is Demented. I could tell you more, but then that would ruin the mystery that is 'Demented'!

Hey Joey, I know you'll probably be back from Hungary by the time you read this, but... it was great. Really descriptive, it set the scene and from what you told me about chapter three there's action in there too. It should be good. Good?... Great! Good work, good luck and I hope you post soon after Hungary.

~Aaron~

I really liked it espicially the idea of demented blood line I wish I could do that! Then again I wish I could be a wizard...

Woop research! The secod chapter was better than the first in the way that I fully understood what was going on. I can't wait to find out ho the demented person is even though I have my suspicions but then I coud always be wrong....

Keep them coming.



Em
xx

Okay, first off I have a few criticisms
I know your character is only based on her, but Rach has blue eyes But I loved this:


Chloe doesn't hate her hair as much now

Oh and THIS!
Of course Chloe is keen on studying, but she daydreams more often too like when I was.. err I mean she was... studying for the JC, she usually just sat at her desk and daydreamed

Rachel's personality describes her very well, and I love the bit about Ari being random

One question... why did Ari have a book on house-elves?


Joey, I love it I can totally imagine those little smiley faces all over Nibbly!

I love love love love LOVE this story! You're an amazing writer Joey and I'm proud to call you my friend the chapters so far are beautifully written, the descriptions are wonderful and the characters seem so real! (I wonder why?)

I can't wait to read more! A BIG hug to you!

-Caoimhe

Oooh my gawd that guy on the dragon is so evil! He is like a big...big....dragon riding...evil guy! Words cannot describe! What were the other patronouses? ...well the other one other than the bat? This chapter rocked well done, update soon or I'll steal your cookies. XD

hey! this was a really good fic! i never would have thought of anyone being "demented" though. it's a good idea! i also loved how the concept of love conquers evil is recycled for Dara's situation.
good job(: and happy writing!