Summary; Taking place during Deathly Hallows, it is a Tonks/Lupin scene. However Remus has left. Third person narrative.
Disclaimer; I am not JKR, and I am not writing this narrative for personal or monetary gain. It being shared for enjoyment and critique by all.
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have, for you I will. ~ Teddy Geiger
*****
For You I Will
written by Lauren, aka Ginny.Weasley
Nymphadora Tonks paced. The room in which she had locked herself happened to be the same on she had lived in when she was a young child, all the way until she graduated from Hogwarts. After that she had moved to an apartment all her own in London.
‘Those were simpler times,’ she thought to herself. The room portrayed the lifestyle of the typical teenage witch. The room was large and airy; the walls were magical – changing colour depending on her mood. The old posters of famous wizarding people and Quidditch teams that used to hang around had been removed, and in place of her old four poster bed a large king size occupied the space.
In those days Voldemort hadn’t yet returned and life had been almost peaceful. In this new era, the one of the rise of the Death Eaters, she sometimes wished that she had remained ignorant to everything and didn’t know about the Order. Not because she feared for her safety, no Tonks had always been a bit reckless. When she wished that Alastor Moody had never asked her to join the Order it was because she now had responsibilities to protect people other than herself, people she had come to love very much. Before, she only had herself to look after and the only people that she was close to were her parents and Alastor, and they knew how to protect themselves. Now, she was constantly afraid that one of the Order or their families would be killed. She was especially afraid that Remus would be taken from her. Remus John Lupin, the only man she had ever loved.
‘And yes,’ she thought, smirking to herself, ‘no matter what else he may be, he is definitely a man.’ Instinctively her hands moved to her growing belly. She knew that her unborn child was the real reason that Remus had left with Harry, Hermione, and Ron. He had told her that it was because they were too inexperienced to go alone, but she knew that that had been a lie. Everyone in the Order knew that Dumbledore had left the three kids a very important mission that they weren’t supposed to disclose to anyone. There was no way that Harry would ever betray Dumbledore’s trust. Remus had simply told her he was going with them because that was a convenient excuse for leaving.
He was terrified that she was pregnant, that was why he left. The act that a Metamorphmagus and a werewolf could reproduce was inconceivable to him. He was afraid that their child would be a werewolf like him, a malady that Remus would never wish on anyone. It didn’t matter to him that she had explained that werewolf wasn’t an inheritable gene; he was still convinced the child would be like him. So he left. And since then Tonks had paced her old bedroom, waiting for him to return. Well not all the time, since she still had responsibilities within the Order and in her house, but when she was alone.
As if it wasn’t bad enough that Remus had left, her father had left soon after. This was because the Ministry was rounding up Muggle-born wizards, not because he was afraid of unborn children. Ted Tonks wouldn’t have stood a chance against the registration committee and he knew it, so he too left. And neither Tonks nor her mother had heard from either of them since.
Why she was pacing her room instead of preparing for the guests she wasn’t really sure. Members of the Order were coming over for Christmas dinner, seeing as the Tonks house was rather large and empty, and Mrs. Weasley hadn’t wanted Tonks to travel all the way to the Burrow while she was already five months pregnant.
Tonks decided to go downstairs and help her mother with the last minute preparations. She checked her appearance in the mirror quickly and went to the stairs. When she reached the foyer, the doorbell rang.
“I’ve got it!” Tonks called to her mother who was bustling about in the kitchen. She assumed it would be Mrs. Weasley, who was always notoriously early, wanting to help.
She pulled open the front door and when she saw who it was, she almost had a heart attack. For there, standing on her front step, was none other than Remus, a slightly bemused look on his face. Tonks quickly composed herself and took him in. He looked the same as always, albeit the black shadows under his eyes betrayed his fatigue.
“When is the last time you slept?” she teased, moving back to let him inside. He smiled weakly.
“Still the same Dora I see,” he replied, his hands in his pockets. He looked at the floor.
“Why are you here Remus?” Tonks asked quietly. She knew if must have taken a lot of courage for him to come back. He opened his mouth to say something but she interrupted and said, “Why don’t we go upstairs to talk?”
He agreed with a curt nod and followed her upstairs to the bedroom she had been in moments before. Remus shut the door behind them.
“Why are you here?” Tonks repeated her question angrily before Remus could say a word. He looked taken aback by her sudden anger.
“Dora, I-I’m sorry,” he stuttered. “I realized that I had made a grave error and I never should have left you and – “
“Damn right you shouldn’t have left,” she retorted, cutting him off. “Do you have any idea how worried I’ve been, not knowing whether you were safe, or even alive? We both know that it isn’t wise to be out in the world alone these days and yet what did you do? You left on your own!” She drew her wanted and pointed it at his shocked face. “What? Why are you surprised that I’m angry? You better have a good explanation or so help me Remus...”
“How did you know I was alone?” he demanded. “I told you I was with Harry.”
“Come on Remus!” Tonks cried in exasperation, “I was trained by Alastor Moody, one of the best Aurors to ever live. I know when I’m being lied to. Surely even you would realize that.”
“Dora, I know now that I was wrong to leave okay?” Remus pleaded. “I shouldn’t have left, I know that, but I had to think, I needed to get away from the situation for a while. I didn’t want you to worry about me!”
“Not worry about you?!” Tonks repeated in disbelief. “How could I not worry about you? You just upped and left without a proper explanation or a goodbye! Not to mention that you are my husband, the love of my life, the only man I have ever or will ever love! Of course I was going to worry! How could you even think otherwise?!”
Remus lowered his gaze. “I’m truly sorry Dora, I really and truly am. But I’m here now, and I want to be there for you and for our child, to see him grow up and become a man and I want to grow old with you. I’ll be here no matter what happens and I will do anything for you. What will it take for you to forgive me?”
Tonks breathed deeply and stowed her wand. Hearing Remus accept their child filled Tonks with inexplicable joy. She couldn’t remain angry at him, not after his statement. She flung herself into his arms and while he stumbled back slightly, he caught her and held her to his chest. Her mouth found his, and suddenly they were embracing in a way that she had missed so very much. His arms wrapped tightly around her, hers moving to hold him closer.
Laying her head on his shoulder she whispered, “I forgive you.”
“I missed you Dora,” he whispered back. “I thought of you every day, and I knew I had to come back.” As soon as he said this, Tonks felt a small nudge in her abdomen. She gasped quietly, her hands moving back down to her belly bump.
“What is it?” he asked worriedly.
“The baby kicked,” she said in wonder. Remus looked down and carefully placed his hands under hers. “Do you feel it?” she asked?
“Yes,” he breathed. They stood there for a few moments, relishing the feeling and each other’s company that they both had missed in the past months.
After a while, the doorbell rang. Tonks stepped away and smiled.
“We better get down there,” she told him.
“After you,” Remus said, gesturing to the door.
“I love you Remus,” Tonks said before opening the door and stepping out.
As Remus shut the door behind him the magical walls of Tonks’ room turned from a deep purple to a most brilliant golden yellow. For now, Tonks was happy.
*****
Inspiration came from the song 'For You I Will' by Teddy Geiger. Funny how my inspiration came from a song by someone named Teddy isn't it?
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Thank you!
--x Lauren