DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything in this story; it is all the property of the wonderful JK Rowling.

Note (a long one):
I made a big effort to study the Harry Potter chronology, dates, ch aracters, Hogwarts life, etc etc while writing this story (did you know January 24th 1978 was a Monday, and a full moon?), so do I hope it pays off. Big thank you to Wikipedia! I recommend to my fellow writers this article for chronology, and this one for details on life at Hogwarts. Very useful if you want to avoid falling into traps such as contradiction or lack of canonicity (apparently it's a word).

When I'm writing I often imagine the story in my head as a movie or something and I get all frustrated because it's not a movie, so this will be a bit of a way to relieve that... I'll post a song that goes with every chapter, so if you feel like it you can listen to the music and replay the whole thing in your head. Ooh dear, I am not normal.

Anyway, this story is about James and Lily, and it starts in their seventh year at Hogwarts (the year they got together) and it ends, well... I can't really tell you, you'll see! Oh and I would consider it PG-13.

Just a habit

Chapter 1

Song: Bird of the Summer - A Fine Frenzy
(I changed it because the other one was too sad, haha)

It was the last day of the summer holidays. Vernon was over, Petunia's nasty boyfriend, and I was so sick of her that I'd gone up to my room as soon as I could. I don't think my parents wanted me around anyway, because during dinner, I kept laughing at Petunia being all over him. My parents' looks said enough.

I felt something furry brush against my foot. I turned around and I saw Annabelle. She was my cat, white and fluffy, that I'd gotten from my parents as a gift. I'd had an owl before, but one day he left and never came back. So they got me a kitten this summer. She was my best friend when I didn't have Lauren and Aecia. Animals were different from humans; you could talk to them and not need to worry about their reaction.

It was only eight thirty, but I was anxious to get to bed. I had to wake up early to get on the Hogwarts Express tomorrow, and I felt like I had nothing to do other than wait. I'd been packing and unpacking my trunk all day, thinking about what it was I missed the most about Hogwarts. Was it Lauren and Aecia? Potions? The grounds? Or maybe even the arrogant, obnoxious ways of James Potter?
I shook my head, smiling at myself. I was losing it, starting to miss the things I hated. I took off my slippers, undressed and pulled on my pajamas, running my fingers through my thick auburn hair. Sometimes I did that and my friends told me that the color was so intense it might permanently dye my fingers. I smiled at myself again, crawling into bed. I turned the light off with a flick of my wand and closed my eyes, falling asleep as quick as I'd hoped for.


I woke up the next morning at nine o'clock. I was in an unbearably wonderful mood. I pulled my slippers on so fast I almost tripped on them, and ran downstairs. My parents were already awake, my dad reading the paper and my mom drinking her coffee at the counter. I kissed them both and went to get breakfast.
'Someone's in a good mood,' said my mom, grinning at me.
'Wonder why!'
'We'll drive you whenever,' said my dad, just as Petunia came through the door, Vernon unfortunately with her.
'What are you doing up so early?' I asked her.
She didn't answer me. She went and sat on the couch, followed by Vernon, turning the television on loudly.
'Put that down!' said my dad, rolling his eyes.
The volume came down a bit. But I could almost feel her scowling.
I turned back to the counter, where pancakes were waiting for me. I grabbed a few and sat at the table, thanking my mom.
'You're welcome. Is your trunk ready?'
'Nearly, I just want to... look through it one last time.'
When I finished breakfast, I went up as fast as I'd come down, feeling a little fuller than I'd been before. I showered, got dressed and then turned to face my trunk. My things were all over the place, because I'd started to unpack it last night and changed my mind at the last minute. I lazily tried to fit everything in, checking off my mental list. Then I pulled it up with all my strength and took a last long look at my bedroom. I would miss it, but honestly not as much as I missed the four-poster beds at Hogwarts.
'Come, Annabelle,' I sighed, walking out and closing the door behind us.
I nearly dropped my trunk on myself while going down the stairs, but I made it just far enough for my dad to catch me. He brought it outside for me, and I followed him out backwards, remembering something.
'Mom?' I called, 'can you grab my wand? It's on the table in the hall!'
Then I collided with something big and squishy. I turned around and found myself face to face with Vernon. I stood there, not knowing what to say; he looked rather confused. Petunia was standing next to him, livid with anger.
'Wand?' Vernon asked stupidly, one eyebrow raised.
'A- It's a... a family joke,' stammered Petunia, glaring at me. 'Come, Vernon.'
She pulled him away, leaving me silent and astonished.
'Lily!' shouted my dad.
'Coming!' I shouted back, as my mom came down the stairs, giving me my wand and urging me out of the house.

The car ride felt like it took forever. I stared out the window, watching everything go by in a blur. I missed home already. But once I'd be at Hogwarts, I knew wouldn't- I spent so much time there that it was like a second home to me.

Annabelle started purring on my lap, and I realised I'd been petting her without noticing. Slowly the streets became busier and busier, and I saw King's Cross ahead of us. I wanted to use some spell or something to make the cars to faster, to get there as soon as possible, but I knew there was nothing to do about the traffic. We finally got there and I put Annabelle back in her cage, then hurrying out of the car to find my dad already unloading my trunk. We ran to the platform, scrambling through the sea of people. It was hard to move around, but it made it easier to blend in while we passed through the barrier between platforms nine and ten. I leaned into the wall and found myself on the other side, standing a few feet away from none other than James Potter. He winked at me, and I felt my face blush. My parents saw him, too, and my mom's eyes narrowed suspiciously.
'That's that boy, isn't it? That Potter boy you told us about?'
'Yes, mum,' I hissed, rolling my eyes. 'Come on,' I said, taking her arm and directing her to a spot out of his eyesight.
I had told my parents about James, but only because I'd been upset during all of fifth year and they kept asking me why. Then I'd realised how much good it did to talk about it and I told them more than I probably should have. And now, they saw him as an insufferable, spoiled and conceited teenage boy who did nothing but show off and hurt their daughter's feelings. I couldn't say it was far from the truth, but their image of him was probably worse than mine.
'Write to us' said my mom, hugging me tightly and kissing my cheek.
'I will,' I told her, and then my dad took his turn to hug me. 'You know I always do.'
'I can't believe this is the last time we're doing this!' mom sighed, looking like she was about to cry. I gave a comforting laugh and a last attempt at humor:
'I'll miss it too...but at least we'll save on gas!'
My dad chuckled and pushed my trunk towards me. I pulled it behind me as I walked, smiling at them one last time. I was getting better at this goodbye thing.

I managed to get all my things on the train by myself, and now it was just a matter of finding my friends. But before I'd even passed the first compartment, a small girl with long, shiny black hair came running up to me. I didn't know her, so I had no idea what she wanted me for, but then she spoke:
'Ma soeur! Avez-vous vu ma soeur?'
I racked my brain for the little bit of French that I knew, having no idea what to say.
'Ma soeur! Ma... ma... sister!'
And then I understood. I shook my head apologetically, muttering something like 'er... non'. But it must have made sense, because she turned around and ran off again. I continued down the hall, wondering what on earth had just happened, when someone grabbed my sleeve and pulled me inside a compartment.
It was Lauren. She was beaming at me, apparently extremely excited. Her blonde hair was shorter than last year, but her face and her mood hadn't changed one bit.
'Lauren! I was looking for you and Aecia-'
'I'm right here,' said a familiar voice, and Aecia waved at me from the corner, smiling.
At that very moment, the girl with long black hair ran past the door again, accompanied by an older-looking version of herself that I assumed to be her sister.
'Do you guys know that girl?' I asked my friends, pointing at the door.
'The little one?' said Lauren, frowning, 'no. But earlier she was talking to me about her sister or something…’
Aecia cut her off: 'That's Sara's sister. You know, Sara, that girl in sixth year?'
'No. Why aren't they at Beauxbâtons, anyways?'
'Just 'cause they speak French doesn't mean they're from France,' snapped Aecia.
'Anyway, how was your summer, both of you?' I asked, eager to hear their stories.
'Good,' they answered together.
'Er... aren't you going to tell me more?' I tried, slightly confused.
'We saw James wink at you on the platform,' suddenly said Aecia, ignoring my question.
Lauren leaned in and smiled at me. 'We saw you blush, too.'
It took me a second to understand, and I sighed and rolled my eyes.
'What are you trying to say?'
Lauren's eyebrows disappeared beneath her fringe. 'Come on, you have to have a little bit of a- a thing for him!' she said, her voice colored with disbelief.
'I do not! He's disgusting!' I said loudly, not believing what I was hearing.
'But he's better! He's not as bad as he was, like, two years ago...'
'But you know what he did to me and... and to other people, and I have absolutely no reason to like him.'
'There's this thing called forgiveness...'
'Lauren!'
'Aecia, help me here!'
Aecia had disappeared behind a book. A small smile appeared on her face, and she muttered:
'Well he is really good-looking...'
I groaned, sinking back into the seat. Then a sound outside caught my attention and I looked through the glass door, seeing James himself walk by. He doubled back as I mumbled 'Speak of the devil,' opening the door and poking his head into the compartment. He really was good-looking.
'Hey Lauren, Aecia,' he said, grinning and looking around. Then his eyes stopped on me. 'Hey, Evans. Wanna go out with me?'
I had a million insults in mind, but I simply raised an eyebrow. He smiled some more.
'Just a habit,' he said, shrugging. He waved at us and left, letting the door slide shut behind him.


Hope that was a good first chapter. I think I'll get better as the story goes, I just haven't written in so long and I need to get back into it. Please leave feedback here, thanks!

Chapter 2

Song: Breaking My Heart Again - Aqualung

Thankfully, it didn't rain when while we waited for the carriages. The weather was great, and it was the least I could have hoped for on my last first-day at Hogwarts. I got a little teary thinking about this, and Aecia smiled at me, her look telling me we were thinking about the same thing.
The welcome feast was no different than every other year. We stepped inside the Great Hall and jostled through the crowed to join our tables, everyone hugging and laughing and talking. It could become quite overwhelming if you were popular. I saw James and Sirius, surrounded by girls and friends who all wanted to hug them, feeling absolutely no desire to be at their place, even if they were clearly enjoying the attention. I wasn't extremely popular, like Bronwin and Rebecca; or like Angie, who, even if no one really liked her, had a grand and exciting social life, but everyone knew who I was and I had quite a number of friends.
Dumbledore went through his usual welcome speech and reminder of the rules. Then they took out the hat, it sang it's song, and the Sorting started. Blake Dermott was the first Gryffindor, and he seemed quite proud of it, marching up to the table with his chin held high and a smile on his face. It ended with a Slytherin, Miranda Cromwell. Finally, the food appeared on the tables, and my stomach seemed to flip in joy.

As I helped myself to a last serving of pie, I glanced across the table and saw him, his hair black, greasy and droopy as usual. He was clutching the side of his face, glowering at something ahead of him. I realised it was James, and wondered what he had done to him this time. It had been two years since he'd called me a Mudblood; you could say I was over it. However it sometimes felt inexplicably strange to see Severus. If I thought about it for a while, I realised that I did miss him a little bit, but I'd lost so much respect for him in the last few years that it was hard to admit it to myself. I'd forgotten all tolerance for his dabbling with the Dark Arts and taking my friendship for granted. After all, I had only been trying to help him.

His eyes moved slightly, and I quickly looked down at my pie again, a knot forming in my stomach. I then became conscious of the fact that it might not have been James at all.


I had Potions the next day, with the Hufflepuffs. I loved Potions, though I wasn't sure why. There was just something in the art of making them, understanding how and why, and having the required delicacy and patience... I hoped that if I ever had a child, he or she would have the same aptitude. The fact that Slughorn adored me did nothing to make matters worse. Everyday he wandered over to my cauldron, making no attempt at concealing his excitement, a light twinkling in his eyes. I had to admit that I was a bit paranoid- I didn't want to deceive him and his great anticipation.
As expected, the class started with no introductions or dawdling. Slughorn started with a speech about the importance of NEWTs. We were used to it because we'd already passed our OWLs, but I was definitely not looking forward to hearing it a dozen times.
'Now,' said Slughorn, 'I expect you all to know this one! We'll be starting today with some simple revision. I would like each of you to brew me a simple Draught of Living Death. The instructions,' he said, as he waved his wand and the said instructions appeared on the board, 'are on the board. But of course, some of you may not even need them!' he added brightly, chuckling and winking at me. 'You will work in pairs.'
I groaned, crossing my arms. I honestly preferred working on my own.
'...Bundy and Knight, McDonald with Hardwicke, Potter-'
And at that very moment, Potter's hand shot up in the air.
'Sir, I'd like to request a partner.'
Slughorn looked surprised for a moment, but quickly rearranged his face into a smile. I knew what was coming. 'Yes?'
'I'd like to work with Evans, if that's alright.'
'Oh, well... of- of course! Evans,' he said, pointing at James with his thumb, 'you can work with him.'
'Do I have to?' I mumbled weakly, but he didn't seem to hear me.
James apparently decided I wasn't going to move, so he took his things and came to sit next to me. I got up to get my ingredients, taking as long as I could, then reluctantly went back to my seat.
'Hey,' he said, as I resolutely avoided looking at him.
'Someone hasn't changed,' I said, opening my book.
I finally gave up and glanced at him. He looked positively taken aback, the smile wiped off his face. 'What?'
'I mean, there you are, still as obnoxious and narcissistic as you've always been.'
'Ooohh, pulling out the big words, are you?'
'I'm not joking!' I said, hitting his arm with the bag of valerian roots.
He laughed, but didn't sound convincing. 'I know you love it,' he called, as he took his turn to walk to the cupboard to get his ingredients.
What a great way to start the class, I thought, as I started cutting my roots. Yet I wasn't sure whether I was sarcastic or not. As annoying as he could be, it was very satisfying to argue with, and eventually insult, a smug James Potter.


I walked to my Defence Against the Dark Arts class early that afternoon, to meet Aecia and Lauren at a certain hallway. But when I turned a corner I ran into someone. I let out a little squeak and automatically uttered a little 'sorry', but then realised it was Severus. I pushed my hair out of my face and stood there, my body suddenly weighing more than an elephant, not knowing what to do or say. Then he looked up into my eyes for less than a second, turned around again and kept going the opposite way. I felt tears spring into my eyes and quickly found the strength to keep walking, ignoring a Slytherin telling me to 'watch it, Mudblood.' I passed James, who had been playing with the Snitch and had accidentally let it go and was now chasing after it. I didn't care. I wasn't completely over it. I'd only been hiding it from myself, pretending I didn't care to make myself feel better. But the truth was that Severus had been an important part of me, and it would be almost impossible to let those memories go.


I found it hard to concentrate in Defence Against the Dark Arts. We were supposed to be practicing a more complex form of Shield Charms, but mine kept flickering and then disappearing, doing strange things to the spells that hit it. After a few tries, I accidentally disarmed Aecia and hit her in the eye with her own wand. I swore and hurried over to her.
'I'm so sorry!' I said, as she moaned in pain, her hand over her eye.
'It's okay, I'm alright,' she said through her teeth. 'Can you tell the teacher I'll be at the hospital wing?'
'Yes, I will... I'm really, really sorry!' I repeated, as she walked out of the room.
I was trying very hard to ignore the source of my distraction. Bree Bishop, a Slytherin, had been shouting things at me from the other side of the room all class.
'Hey Evans! How come you ran into Snape earlier? Was their dirt in your eyes or something?'
I clenched my fists tightly, trying to breathe evenly as I walked towards the teacher. I told him I was going to the hospital wing with Aecia, and then left the classroom as fast as I could.

But I didn't go to the hospital wing. I went to the common room and sat on my bed, staring out the window and trying not to think. I met Lauren and Aecia for dinner, and when we came back I settled in an armchair with ink, a roll of parchment, and Annabelle on my lap.
'Hey Lily,' said Lauren's voice, as she came down the stairs. 'Bronwin and Rebecca set up some fireworks in the grounds, they're gonna go off in a few minutes and there's a really good view from our tower. Want to come watch with us?'
'I'll be up with you guys in a minute,' I said, holding up my parchment. 'I just want to finish this letter to my parents.'
'Alright, we'll be upstairs.'
I really was writing a letter to my parents, but only because I'd told them I was going to. I was merely trying to keep myself busy, away from my thoughts. But then, I realised, it was hard not to write to my parents about everything I had in mind. A few seconds later, I had put my letter away and gone upstairs to join the others.

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I know this chapter isn't as good, it's because the plot skimmed through scenes really fast and, well, yeah that's what it gives. But I still hope you enjoyed it! Don't forget to leave feedback, it really makes me happy!

Also, I haven't really thought about a beta yet. If anyone wants to be my beta, just let me know, but it might be a few chapters before I get around to actually looking for one. And I'd prefer someone who doesn't just correct spelling, but also helps me write more better. I think I'm decent when it comes to grammar, I love grammar (), it's just structure and... all that stuff.

Aaand last, I am aware that when I write it feels like I'm going suuuuper fast. I'm working on fixing that.

Wow, it's almost been a month. Just a little update so you don't forget... Time flies. But I promise I will post soon, I haven't abandonned the story!

Chapter 3

In all the excitement I felt about going back to Hogwarts, I'd forgotten about the negative aspects of being back to school. First, there was James. I didn't need to elaborate on that. He was still James, and even if I had to admit he'd matured a bit, he gave me a whole lot to deal with. There was also the education aspect of school. I hadn't given my NEWTs or my future much thought, so I'd chosen my courses at random, selecting the ones I was most likely going to need. We were one month into the school year, recently settled back into the routine, and in need of revision; yet the teachers saw no problem in giving us enormous piles of homework. To add to all this, Severus and I were clearly not on speaking terms. I wasn't sure how I felt anymore. The eye contact and encounters in the halls were all very awkward, as if we were both unsure what was going on. But I couldn't bring myself to sort it out, stalling, almost like I was hoping things would fix themselves with time.

On a rainy saturday of October, Lauren, Aecia and I were in the common room and on our way to lunch, talking about something more positive- Quidditch.
'I can't wait till Quidditch starts again. Do we know when the first match is?' Lauren asked us.
'Not sure, I think it's sometime in early November.'
We scanned the noticeboard for information, but they only had Quidditch practise schedules and Chess Club meeting dates. I gave a small 'hm...' as I made to walk again, pretending I was interested. However Aecia gave a strange and sudden 'oh!' and looked at us guiltily, hesitating. Then she finally spoke;
'Erm... I, er, forgot I have to... go do something... well anyway, I'll see you later,' she mumbled, turning around and swiftly disappearing up the stairs. Lauren and I stared silently, both confused. 'What was that all about?' I asked, more to myself than anyone.
'Well I don't care, I just hope Quidditch starts soon,' said Lauren, quickly getting over it and passing through the portrait. 'I just want to have something to think about other than homework, homework, homework.'
'Yeah right,' I said, smiling, 'you just want to know which boys are on the team.'
I felt something heavy hit my arm, but I laughed.
'Speaking of Quidditch,' I said suddenly, coming to a halt.
James was standing a few feet away, wearing his full Quidditch robes and holding his broom. He was apparently in a serious argument with a painting, until he gave up and hit his fist on the wall. He looked around and saw us.
Lauren looked around awkwardly, as if looking for someone, and then spoke in high, timid voice.
'I'll see you later, Lily!'
'Wait-!'
But she'd already hurried away, giggling to herself. I sighed and walked towards James, leaning against the wall when I reached him.
'What are you doing there?' I asked, eyebrows raised.
'May I ask you the same thing, Evans?' he said in a mysterious voice. Then he laughed and said, 'arguing with this painting.'
'I can see that.'
'Well I suppose that's good news. Anyway, I'm actually trying to get through this passage, it leads somewhere near the pitch. But this bloody portrait is not letting me through...'
'Oh.'
There was a quiet moment. It should have been awkward, but I felt oddly comfortable. Then he frowned and opened his mouth, hesitating to speak.
'Hey, er, I wanted to talk to you about that time whe-'
'Alright, I'll let you through!' suddenly shouted the portrait, opening.
'I guess we can talk later, then. See you around', I said loudly, before turning and walking away, feeling like I'd been a bit too harsh. The truth was that I thought I knew what event he wanted to talk to me about, and I happened to have been avoiding it for a year and a half.

At dinner that day, I got unusual but exciting news. I was about to answer to Susie Browning's compliment on my eyes when Aecia arrived, sighing and swearing, immediately filling her plate with food.
'Where have you been all day?' I asked, after uttering a 'thanks' to Susie. It wasn't like her to be late because she'd actually been busy.
'With McGonagall,' she said, not looking at me. When I didn't answer, she paused and looked up, taking in my confused expression. She sighed and put down her fork, leaning foward. 'OK, fine. I'm planning a Halloween party.'
I spat out most of my pumpkin juice onto her food, then bursting out laughing.
'Ew, gross!' she cried, looking at her plate in disgust.
I lowered my voice as I finally spoke, aware of everyone staring at us.
'You're planning a Halloween party?' I said, still laughing. 'Seriously, no need to lie, just tell me what's up.'
'Ha ha,' she said sarcastically. 'But I'm serious. It was that or detention, so I went for it. I guess it's a good punishment... it's getting kind of fun, though. And it gives me something to do other than work.'
'Is that your point in life?' I asked, snorting. 'Getting your mind off work?'
'Lately, pretty much!' she answered, helping herself to a new plate of food. 'But I need help to decorate on the day of. Lauren already said she'd do it, will you?'
'Does that mean I have to leave the feast early?'
'Lily!'
'Okay, I'll do it,' I said, rolling my eyes.
At that very moment, Lauren appeared out of nowhere and sat down next to me, a huge smile on her face.
'About time, you almost missed the food,' said Aecia, who was nearly done her own plate. 'So did I, but I was actually busy getting yelled at because that cupboard was locked... like it was my fault...'
She stopped dead, her eyes narrowing as she looked at Lauren, who had blushed.
'Am I missing something?' I asked.
'Was it you in there?' suddenly asked Aecia, her eyes wide.
'Maybe,' Lauren admitted, blushing even more.
'With who!' shrieked Aecia, half-standing, impatiently waiting for an answer.
Lauren hesitated, looking at me, and then looked down again and said: 'Sirius.'
Aecia fell back into her seat, looking shocked. 'Sirius... Sirius Black?'
'Yes! What other Sirius do we know?' hissed Lauren, irritated.
'Wow,' I said dully.
Aecia looked at me, raising her eyebrows. I put down my fork.
'Well it's not like it's a total shock... It's just...'
'What?'
'I hope you don't end up getting hurt,' I told Lauren, shrugging.
'What you mean is that she will end up-'
'Aecia, stop it!'
But Lauren didn't look bothered at all. Instead she continued to eat happily, shaking her head.
'Don't worry about me, I'm sure about this. Anyway,' she said, looking over at Sirius dreamily, 'I think the next few months are going to be fun-'
'Ew...'
'Aecia! You know I didn't mean it that way.'
'Next few months?' I interrupted, looking at her in disbelief.
She looked back at me sadly. 'Lily, I don't expect us to get married or anything.'
'Well I'm actually surprised,' said Aecia, apparently unwilling to shut up. 'I was expecting a few weeks.'
I couldn't resist a smile this time, glancing around at Lauren. But she had gone. I looked around and quickly found her where I thought I would, sitting next to a smug-looking Sirius and hanging on to his arm.

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WOW sorry that took so long, I hope you didn't all forget about my story! I'm sorry, if anyone cares.. I had time/technical/beta/memory issues but I've finally gotten around to it and decided to post it anyway. I'll try to post the next chapter soon enough, to make up for the MONTH I took to post this one, but we'll see. I might just forget again, haha.
Oh and there is no song for this one, it was too... random, haha. But do post feedback here, please please please, it's very very much appreciated.