O.K. guys... it's time for a bit of fun...
This topic is the place to show your most creative ideas of the the sentences that some charcters most likely will never say...
For example:
Hermione to Ron: "Ron, I don't feel like writing my Potion essay... can you do it for me?"
Or something much more funny than that pathetic one...

Please, feel free to write here your weirdest of ideas... but watch your mouth, remember...

Have fun, The Hogwarts Witch Project...

Okay I'll give it shot.
Snape to Harry: "Potter, as your Professor I have treated you abominably during these past six years. You may look, act, and sound like my dead nemesis, but you're not James. Can you forgive me?"- before Harry awakens from his apalled silence, Snape hugs him.

That's a good one, I like it...

Hi there. Please check the rules page, One liners are not allowed here on vtm. Thank you Shane.

Draco to Hermione: "Hello, Hermione! Pleasant day, isn't it? I'm afraid I have to go...but do say hullo to your parents for me! Tell them I really enjoyed that box of toothpaste!" Draco then gives Hermione a sweet grin to show off his pearly whites and skips away.

Lol, to you two. Hmm..mine'll probably be pathetic.

Voldemort to Death Eaters: "Everybody, I've decided to try a new method. Our new robes will be... Pink with green dots!!

* Umbridge - 'Voldemorts back!'

* Lucius Malfoy - 'Dumbledore's my hero'

* Hermione - 'You know, you're really very intelligent Ron'

* Harry - 'Me and Draco, best buddies all the way!'

"It's high time we act our age and get serious about life." - Fred & Gearge Weasley

snapelover that was really funny.
I definately cant ever see that happening!

* Draco - 'Harry, I've always secretly had a bit of thing for you'

* Aunt Petunia affectionately - 'Harrykins'

"Harrykins"- that one rocks!!!!
I love this one... made fall off my chair...

I love this topic!! LMAO!!!!

Here's my feeble contribution then...

Uncle Vernon : Aw, Harry...you're my favourite nephy-poos, you know that? Come here and give your Uncle a great big hug...

Harry : *is scared* Voldemort!! Kill me!! Kill me quick!!

hee hee, it is fun isn't it

* Voldemort to Harry - 'Lets just shake hands and call it a draw'

* Hagrid - 'If you subtract the square root and times it by phi, then the quotient will be equal to the sum of the.....'

* Bellatrix sings - 'I feel pretty, oh so pretty...'

Somehow i cant see this happening either:

Hermione : "You know, maybe you're right guys. Yes, yes i can definitely see it now. House elves are meant to work for us, they're meant to be our slaves! *evil grin spreads over her face* *starts laughing uncontrolably*

Sirius: "Look, Snape, umm.... I dont know how to say this, it's really kind of embarrassing and all but, well i just wanted to apologise for the way i've treated you in the past and well, just wanted to finally get it off my chest - I only did it coz i had this major crush on you and so could we sort of just forget everything and perhaps just look to the future...? *winks*

by the way, razzberry2, I laughed out loud at urs, great stuff

Wow!!!!
That was great! Absolutly wonderful!!!
razzberry2, you have a great sense of humor...

LMAO, Sirius!!!! I love the slashy one... brings back some memories of some pretty good fanfics I've read...

And I loved Hagrid's one, razzberry...

Noo, not the 'pretty' song! Lol, my sister sings that one all the time. Anyway, I thought up of some more.

Trelawney: Sevy(Severus)!! Come to mee*holds 'me' for 2 minutes*, my darling!! My inner eye tells me that we'll end up together. There's no denying the truth!!

Lucius: *looks over at Bellatrix* Aw, Bella, you took my motto. 'I feel pretty' is supposed to be meant for me!

Snape: Mr. Potter...well done, you've passed potions..

Grawp: Hermy, me wub you. Buh me still wahn Hagger!

ok guys how bout this one , a react of the voldemort scene in the first movie

Quirells second head: turn me around so i can see him( something like that anyway)

Quirell: but master you are not strong enough
Quirells second head: i am strong eneough for this

'turns around to harry'


Head: harry potter.........my name is bond , james bond...


all i could think of

MOD EDIT : Please don't use netspeak on the forum. 'sumink', 'ne ways' and 'fink'..please type out in full otherwise it makes your posts very difficult to read. Please check the rules. Your post has been edited.

Wow, people are pretty good at this. I loved razzberry's and the Harrykins was awesome.

Dudley: "I don't need all these presents, Mum. Forty-seven presents is bordering on obscene! Why don't we give them all to Harry, and my present will be to enjoy the happy look in his eyes as he unwraps them."

Snape: "Draco, grow up! Why don't you try to be more like Miss Granger? One hundred points from Slytherin!"

JKR: *Finishing the last sentance of Half-Blood Prince*--With Harry dead, Voldemort was finally able to court Ginny Weasley, whom he had fancied since meeting her through his diary at Hogwarts. The courtship was brief, followed by an elaborate wedding, and Tom and Ginny lived happily ever after. *JKR shrugs* "So much for book 7."

James Bond, very cute!

* Ron - 'Ooh, pick me! I wanna go into the forbidden forest and talk to Aragog'

* Professor Trelawny - 'Actually my dears, nobody is going to get suffocated, shot, stabbed, poisoned, decapitaed, drowned, runover, Ak'd or in any other way die'

* Dumbledore - 'Voldy me old mate, hows it hangin?'

* Snape to students airily - 'I thought we might try something a little different today, a lovely fragrance called Essence of Morning Dew Drops'

* Kreacher while doing house work sings - 'Daisy, the cleaning lady...'

They're getting worse, but I cant help myself.

OMG, that last one really made me snort out loud, razzberry... My nephew's sat by the side of me here thinking I've finally lost it...

I'm really enjoying this thread...really helps break the tension a bit, eh?

Maybe that's why I'm going a bit nuts

I edited the last post just as you were commenting, so I think you were reffering to the Snape one?

I really must get out of here before I make a total fool of myself! Err..too late

Voldemort: I have captured your friends, classmates, and allies. Act now, or they will be gone...forever

Harry: Ah, whatev. i mean they're just the nearest and dearest to me, and the closest thing to a family I've ever had. That's all. Go ahead and kill 'em.

Dudley: "How do I look in this G string?"

Filch: "I was getting kind of bored of Mrs. Norris's look, so I decided to shave her like a french poodle."

Hagrid: "And now, class, I have the pleasure of showing you the most fearsome creature I've ever dared to bring onto Hogwarts grounds." *opens cage to allow a bunny to hop out*
Draco: "But it's just a cute little bunny rabbit like the one that sleeps in my bed at home."
Hagrid: "But look at those sharp teeth!"

wow... these are sooo cool. ok... let's see:

Snape:Well done Weasely. Excellent. Top marks on the test on antiodes.98/100. 60 points to Gryffindor!
Now Miss. Granger, that was pathectic. You are normally a big-headed know-it-all but at least you get the marks. That test was worse than Longbottom, so that must be saying something!

Ron: Oh my God! Hermione I BEAT you at POTIONS!!

Hermione: faints!
*
Voldemort: He must be under the car of that muggle-loving fool Dumbledore. Actually i quite like him and he has good taste in music!

(p.s- if there is a similar post to this then sorry!)

Albus-wan, I love the part with Filch...
That's hilarious stuff....

When I started this topic, I didn't realise that'll be the place hosting
few of the greatest humor talents on the forum...

Lovely, boys!!!

Snape: Good job potter! Your best work yet. Have a cookie!

Voldemort: You know...we could learn alot from this Queer Eye for the Dark Lord Guy.


Fred & George: Percy! We are sorry the way we treated you. We want to give up on the Joke Shop idea and go into the Family Business and work in the Ministry.


Those were horrible eh?

I am gonna get so many tomatoes thrown at me for this one...

Ron: Hermione, I...I love you.

Hermione: Oh, Ron! I love you too!

*dies* No fighting! I'm not stepping foot in the debate thread!! *lol*

I wouldn't do any ship like that since i am not debating but we shouldnt offend the R/Hr shippers like my self though i am partly H/Hr to

hmm

well i thought i do a little skit i mean it would be halrious its an overly dramatic and corny.

Ron: Hermione...i love you!
Hermione: I love you to
Ron: Lets start going out
Hermione: But i love Harry
Ron: I Love you more!
Hermione: ..Alright lets go out
*they kiss*
Harry: YOu know ...i am RIGHT here so can you two please get a room! Sheesh.

i find it halrious cause it's majorly corny and can you see ...er read JK Rowling writing something very corny.

Aunt Petunia: Bloody brilliant!

Dudley: I want a broom for Christmas!!!!

Draco: Filthy little pure-bloods!

Snape to Neville: Good job, my son! 50 points for Gryffindor!

Snape to Hermione: You are the cleverest witch of your age!

Hermione:"Ron,get a grip!"

Harry:"Owned!"
_________________________
Ron"youd think a bit of kissing would cheer her(Cho)up!"

Hermione:"owned!"
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*throws tomato at Potter's Witch*

lol thanks!

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Aurther:"Black is out o kill you!"

Harry:"yeah,its all cool"

(OK so i ripped off an avatar!))
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Hermione:"Ron your so thick!"

Ron:"thats what she said!"
____________________________
Cho:"would you like to go to madam Padmutts?"(sp)

Harry:"is she hot?"
____________________________
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Hermione:"you two are going to bed!befor ether of you get better grades then me!
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Ginny:"I love you Draco!"(that will never ever happen!)
______________________________
sence in movie 3,Harry falls down the hole into the Whomping willow,Hermione falls on top of him.

Harry:"not now Hermione,Rons in trobble!"
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((Funny thing with that,"*shrug*JK"so much for book 7"" lol))

Haha, these are great...especially yours, razzberry I nearly had a fit with:

Wow, you guys did an awsome job! seriously. I've been sitting here, occasionally (as in, most of the time) letting out strange laughter, and then next second appologising to my mom, who looks at me like i've gone nuts

i'm gonna try one too, ok?

--Harry: "We need to save Snape from Voldermot right NOW! We can't let him sacrifice his life for my pathetic being! But how get there on time? They're at the Riddle House... *on the verge of crying*
--Hermione: We could apparate...
--Ron: HERMIONE! You can NOT apparate on Hogwarts grounds... Will you EVER read "Hogwarts, History"??! *rolls his eyes*

~Ana

lol funny!!
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Ron:"Hermione and I are going to work on that pollyjuice potion.

Hermione:"give it up Ron!Harry,we are gona go makeout."
_________________________
Aurther:"Black is out to kill you!"

Harry:"oh Snap!"
_________________
Hermione:"Stuped Crookshanks!"*Hermione starts hiting Crookshanks*

Ron:"Hermione No!"
____________________
Luna:"I love you Ron."

Ron:"I love ya too"(Never to happen!)
_____________________________________
Hermione:"does this robe make my butt look big?"
___________________________________
Hermione walks threw the Yule Ball

Ron:"woah,girl you Fineee!"(Ron would be more polite normally)
_______________________________
Malfoy:"Twitchy little faret,arnt you Moody?"
_________________________

God, you guys!!
I'm laughing my eyes out here!!!! (because I'm crying so badly...)
You guys rock this topic!!!!
You gave me some happy moments!!!
So cheesy, I know... but your ideas are absolutly fantastic...!!!
Keep up the good job, mates!

hey thanks!
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Draco:"Milthy Mudblood!"

Ron:"hey Draco!The jerk store called,there runing outa you!"
(Sinfilde get it?)
____________________________
Hermione slaps Draco

Ron:"you go girl!"
___________________
Voldamort:"I will kill Ginny is you dont do it!"

Harry:"yeah whatever."
_______________________
Hermione:"I got out OWL results!"

Ron:"oh Snap!"
_______________
Ron:"oh Snap"

Harry:"Oh Snap!"

Hermione:"oh Snap!"
____________________
Crookshanks:"and i was like---"

Hermione:"you can talk!?!"

Crookshanks,"like,duh!"

Ferit Malfoy,"Owned!"

ok here comes mine



goyle : Its time to tell it
draco : tell me what
crabbe : we are going on a diet

How about these: A sunny day in oxford street Dumbledorr and Voldemort are shopping in topshop:

Dumbledorr: so Voldi, what do you think suit me better... the red or the blue?

Voldemort: well Dumble , you normaly go for that ugly emerald green, im so glad you've upped your fashion sense.

Dumble: well i only learn from the best ...ey voldi.

Draco: Pansy, quit fawning on me.

Lucius: I rather like Azkaban's acomodations.

Hermoine: I feel so fat! If I could just loose those last ten pounds...

Hagrid: I am so sick of these ruddy animals!

Snape: Harry, I was just playing my part as a double agent. I really think you're a good kid.

Sirius: I used to have such a crush on James. *sniff* Have I mentioned how much you look like your father Harry?

Fred/George: That is so against the rules!

*Crookshanks starts dancing*

Crookshanks:"Im so hot for you,im so hot for you,your so cold!"
________________________________
Harry:"but...he killed my parents!"

Voldamort:"Bummer."
____________________
Ginny:"Harry,your so ugly!"

Harry:"shut up devill woman"
_____________________________
Ron:"does this make my butt look big?"

This one contains a SPOILER. Beware.







Dumbledore: "And now, Harry, I will finally tell you about my hand."


I hope this one isn't too cruel. I know it's still a sore subject.

yeah,why didnt he tell us dat? *is confused*
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Draco Malfoy: i am like,so hot!"waves and in the air.

Umbridge walks into her classroom with an oddly dazed, satisfied look upon her face. The fifth-years expect her to tell them the same thing she has said every class: Wands away and take out Defensive Magical Theory. Instead, to their amazingly frightened astonishment, the Ministry imposed Professor says in a kind, gentle tone, " Pack your things away sweet children, today our lesson will be outside at the school park. Hurry along now, you don't want to miss our sing-along!"
Ten minutes later, the fifth years who decided to stay inside watch as the rest of the class is skipping across the lawn in a single file line led by a surpisingly energetic Umbridge, singing at the top their voices:
Do!-A-Deer!-A-Female-Deer!--Re!-A-Drop-of-Golden-Sun!....

That's the second time tonight my yogart has been in danger of spraying the computer screen...That was a good one, Tuitus...I'm still laughing... ...Ah, the Sound of Music and Umbridge do have, um, a certain ring ...
I can't think of one at the moment, I just had to comment on Tutius's ...

Snape and Voldemort find themselves in a seedy underground kareoke bar one fateful night. And after many butterbeers with firewhiskey chasers they stumble on stage. The music begins (Volemorts coice of course) ...

~Voldy - Dont go breakin my heart!
~Snape - I couldn't if I tried,
~Voldy - Oh honey if I get restless,
~Snape - Babey you're not that kind!

~Snape - Dont go breakin my heart,
~Voldy - You take the weight of my feet
~Snape - Ooh honey when I knock on your door
~Voldy - Ooh I gave you my key!

~Snape & Voldy - Oo-Oo-hoo,
Nobody knows it, Know body knowwwwws

~ Voldy - Right from the start,
~ Snape - I gave you my heart,

~ Snape & Voldy - Oo-Oo-hoo,
Nobody knows it, Know body knowwwwws

~ Voldy - When I was down
~ Snape - I was your clown

~ Snape & Voldy - Ohhhhhhhh...ho, I gave you my heart!

Oh my ... get me a bucket! Quick!

Oh my God, I've never laughed so hard in my life. These are all fantastic. Mind if I try some?

Fudge: Weatherby, where are you? I need your input.
Percy: I don't think so. Accio Broom! <Turns to Peeves> Give him hell for me, Peeves! <Peeves salutes Percy. Percy flies off into the sunset>


Sirius to Lupin: Where's Snape? We can't do our Three Stooges act without him!

McGonagall: Potter! What are you doing here? Er <hides sherry bottle behind back>. I was just, er, going to discard something in this room here.

Ron imitating Crabbe: "I must not look like a baboon's backside."
Luna: <raises eyebrow> How immature. It's not nice to make fun of people. <goes back to reading the Quibbler, RIGHT SIDE UP>.


That's my first attempt, heh heh, I'll try to think of better ones!

Draco is crying to Maoning Myrtle in the bathroom.
Harry walks in, his arms out wide and says all cutesy 'Aww, I think someones in need of a hug!' Draco, so touched by Harry's gesture breaks down into sobs and allows himself to be comforted by Harry's gentle stroking of his hair.


Quidditch match, Slytherin vs Griffindor. Draco and Harry, 50 feet up in the air on their brooms, neck and neck, zooming up behind the golden snitch, both have their arms out stretched, fingertips brushing the snitches wings! 'After you, you're a bit closer than me. There's a good chap' says Draco, and graciously bows out.


NOT!