Slugghorn to any really intelligent student: "Yeah, I never really liked that Quiditch-girl-whatever-her-name-was-anyway...No, I'm fine, I really couldn't take another chrystalized pinnapple, and especially not from you, you miserable genius-brat!"

Harry- "you know, I really don't see the point anymore. If you want protection, come to me, I'll show you how to do a sheild spell, but I am NOT going after any criminals... especially YOU-KNOW-WHO!

Nearly Headless Nick- "Hey, guess what I just found out! I am.... the imprint of a departed soul!"

Hermione - "Hey look what I did!"
Ron- "Did you invent a new spell?"
H- no
R-Did you find out who RAB is?
H-Nope.
R- Did you figure out where a horcrux might be?
H-No.
R(getting desperate)- Did you procrastinate?!?
H- Of course not, I did my homework first, and then I painted my nails, perfectly. Don't you think they're gorgeous? And isn't this just the cutest baby pink?

OMG!!!! these are hilarious

Moon(I luv you Luna) that was hillarious true brilliance I tell you

harry: you know, that Romilda girl isnt that bad,did i tell you about that make-out session we had in the room of requiement?????

Ron:about A THOUSAND TIMES!!!!!!

Voldemort:alright Death Eaters I've decided that we are no longer going to kill harry potter and take over the world.Instead we are gong to raise kute little bunny rabbits and after that we're going to call Dumbledore and ask for a get together and talk about our problems.Any body who objectsgets a killing curse on their backsides.

not as good but its somthing.

Death Eater- So my lord, when are we going to try and kill Harry Potter again?
Voldemort- Hey! Lay off Harry, he's a good kid and he works really hard in lessons. His life is miserable enough without us butting in all the time, alright?
Death Eater to another Death Eater- Hey, what's with Voldy?

Hermione- Oh my god, how I hate exams!

Vernon- HARRY POTTER!! COME HERE RIGHT NOW!
Harry- What have I done now?
Vernon- Oh Harry, I'm so sorry for the way we've been treating you these past years, it was a horrible thing to do, and if there's anything we can do to make it up to you-
Harry- Can I have a puppy?

Sorry, that was the best I could come up with!

Dobby to the elves in the Kitchen - " You know i abosulotley hate Harry Potter always telling me not to hurt myself. I mean it is my choice. You wouldn't catch me telling him to stop hurting himself."

Harry walks in and has listened to the whole conversation..

Dobby - " Cup cake, Harry Potter sir?"

Sorry if that is near what anybody else has said.

*spits out the ham sandwich she's eating laughing* Oh sorry... that made me laugh so much! I'm currently eating a sandwich... or two, with 'I can't believe it's not butter' Or is it utterly buttery? I can't remember, one of these fake butter spreads that i really shouldn't be eating... good one though

Um... i haven't done this in months so...

Harry: Snape! Inferius! Ahh!... wait, they are zombies yeah?
Snape: well, Potter, there is only one to find out... *walks up to one*
Inferi: Ahyeyeyeye... *gurgle* Huuuurh?
Snape: Ahem... excuse me, but are you the imprint or a departed soul?

and...

*Voldemort watching daytime TV*

Muttering to himself... 'Yes, i do want cheaper car insurance...'
*later* 'Hmm... Bella get me the telephone!'
Bella: Telephone my lord? but whatever for?
Voldemort: Well. A number of things Bella. Firstly a large stuffed elephant and a nodding dog made me decide that cheaper car insurance really is a must. Secondly, you knew about all the poor children in poverty stricken countries that are just waiting to be sponsered by a nice caring man like myself...
Bella: Er...
Voldemort: And lastly, I think that me and Harry would do well to go on Jeremy Kyle... or maybe Jerry Springer. We really do need to solve our problems and what a better way to do it!
Bella: *Switches off the TV*
LV: Thank you...

OK, not very good, but i did try

wow they are all so good! wel heres mine, doesnt compare though...

Ron and Lavender sat snogging in common room. Hermione walks in

Harry - oh no
Ron - ( surfaces with a slurp ) erm... hi hermione
Lavender - HERMY! hi. I just love your hair, its so smooth and shiny.
Hermione - Hey, Lav , i totally know right? And omg, i just adore your nails! that colours, like, to die for!

Lavender and hermione walk away gossiping, arms linked.

Ron - I'm thinking of inviting her to the wedding you know, she'd make a really good maid of honour.

Harry - its a dream...just a dream...

i think that the writing on this site, literally everywhere on this site, is apalling

Draco says to Snape, while they are hiding: I really gotta get outta here! He runs around with both hands grabbing his head

Snape to Draco; What are you implying Mr Malfoy? What do you mean get outta here?

Draco: I mean we should do the honorable thing and turn ourselves in at the Ministry and tell them of what we have done.

Snape; What? Turn ourselves in? Tell them what we have done? Are you mad? Snape scowls at Draco

Draco: Yes I think that we need to tell them of what we have done...I'm going for it. Draco begins heading out the door of the shack that he and Snape are hiding out in....

Snape grabs Draco by the arm then says: Ok we do this together, let me perform the spell... He waves his wand over himself and Draco.. They are both transformed into two old bag ladies wearing dresses

Draco: Are we ready then Professor?
Snape: Yes I think that we are let us go then..

The two go off arm and arm singing "We're off To The Holidae Inn" as they skip off into the sunset.

Ok I know you are wondering "what is this?" Hey I'm at work and its like late I could not think of anything else, Snape and Draco turning themselves in as cross dressing wizards... Enjoy

Marcey

Lol Darcoslady, i snorted a bit then, and now my sister thinks i'm totaly strange. (Mind, she thought i was before, but that's not the point).
~
Harry: You know what? I don't want to be a wizard anymore-i want to be a broadway star!

*Sticks on fancy costume and sings and dances his way out of a biwildered transfiguration class*

Ron: Did you know that Harry wanted to be on broadway?
Hermione: Nope.
Ron: Want to go and have a cup of tea with Crabbe and Goyle?

*Crabbe and Gopyle burst in*

Crabbe: Oh yes!
Goyle: Please do!
Hermione: Why not?

*The four leave, to join Voldemort and Dumbledore, still talking from after Hogwarts idol*

Neville: Well now that Harry wants to be a braodway star, i can no longer hide it! I am in fact-

*Rips off robes and everyone gasps. It tuen out he's wearing a higly emmbaressing gymastics outfit. Everone sighs in relief*

Nevile: A pro gymastics star!

*Pulls out ribbon and twirls around and flips out of room. There's a loud crash and a cat meow, and everyone gives a loud "Ooooooooo!"*
~
Hehehe ... broadway star ... i can see it now ...
~
Ginny: Oh my-

*We interupt this scene as it is too rude for general viewing. Basically, it involves Ginny going into a pysco rant about politics, Voldemort scared for his own sanity, Harry in a coma, Ron and Hermione snogging in a broom closet, and Luna singing "Girls just wanna have fun" We are sorry for the incovinience*

Ginny: -after all that i might as well kill myself!

*Ginny suffers nervous breakdown, Voldemort does kill himself, Harry's come round out of his coma, to find Ron and Hermione still in the broom closet and goes into the coma again, and Luna wins Hogwarts Idol, season 2*

*Everyone is scared for their own health, and everyone dies. The End*

*Later when a layer of smoke is hovering over a scene of bodies and distruction*

Neville: Did i miss something?
~
Hehehe ... i laughed myself stupid at that one. This was based of a joke i have with my friends. No it didn't actualy happen, trust me.
~
Harry: Bop bop bop-bop to the top!
Ron: What the-Harry?
Hermione: Oh! I know that one!

*Harry and Hermione contiue in singing "Bop to the top" while the rest of Hogwarts watches, in a very confused state*

Ginny: You know i once ate a entire litre of milk?
Neville: Really?
Luna: Yeah-i saw her! In fact-i dared her! She really did! Show then Gin-gin!

*Ginny drinks milk, while everyone around them yells and cheers them on*

Sirius: Oh Remy? You know i love you?
Lupin: Oh Siri, you know i do!
Snape: What? And last night meant nothing to you?!

*Sirius and Snape battle in fist-fight over Lupin*

Trelawny: You know what? I'm going to study fact and fiction from now on-who cares about divination?
Lockheart: I'll join you!

*Skip off, linked arms and into a glorius (sp?) sunset to study together*

Fred: I want candy!
Mrs Weasley: You can't have candy!
Griphook the goblin: You can have my candy!
Peeves: I steal your candy!

*Fred and Griphook run after Peeves, while Mrs Weasley shakes her head exasperatly*

Headwig: Oh pigwidgeon, you know i've loved you forever and always?
Pigwidgeon: Oh of course Headwig darling!

*Two birds fly off on romantic adventure together*

Crabbe: I do believe the school has gone made, Goyle old chap!
Goyle: Yes, i believe so! Join me for champagne and a cigar?
Malfoy: What is it with you two and champage and cigars?!
Lilly: Well you obviously arn't a champage and cigar lover!
James: Yes! Come on Lilly, Crabbe, Goyle-

*The four run away from a biwildered malfoy*

Malfoy: Am i the only sane person around here?!
Luna: Don't worry-there's still me!
Malfoy: (Groaning) I'm doomed!

The End.
~
That's all for tonight folks!

Okay this is a joke with my friends.


Ron:Say cheese
Hermione:BUTTER!
Ron:Say butter
Hermione:CREAM!!
Ron:say cream
Hermione:COOKIES!
Ron:Say cookies
Hermione:ICE-CREAM!!
Ron:Say ice-cream
Hermione:I SCREAM, YOU SCREAM, WE ALL SCREAM FOR ICE-CREAM!
Ron:Say i scream, you scream, we all scream for ice-cream
Hermione:OKAY!!
Ron:Say okay
Hermione:GET LOST!

lmao. haha these are rotf. well i could possibly have some.. i'm not quite sure though.

Harry to Draco: Okay, can we finally confess our love for each other now? I mean i already defeated Voldemort....

Snape says to class: *turns around and flips hair* Maybeline, because i'm worth it.

Hermione to Neveille: Crucio!!

Harry to Mad-eye Moody: So really, how was it being locked up in that chest for 10 months?

they're not that good.

Harry is walking along when.. Dumbledore passes him.

Dumbledore - " Harry my dear boy, haven't you been killed by Voldermort yet? He told me he was going to finish you by lunchtime!"

Harry - " Ah well he had better things to erm attend to..."

Voldermort to Bellatrix. - " Come on give us a kiss."

Bella -" No!"

Voldermort - " Oh i had my hair done specially as well."

Voldermort has sprouted some curly ginger hair.

Voldermort - " I think it shows off my femine side."

Bella can only nod.

Ok that was rubbish i know.

*subsides from hysterical laughter* oh my god, that was funny! My sister thinks i'm mad now ...
~
Ok, i don't have any more, but just want to say that all of these are so funny, and a bit of advice-don't read this thread while eating, because you start choking, and your sister has to thump you on the back (ot a good look). Lol.

Ha ha everyones were so good! Here's my lame one:

Voldemort: (to death eaters) I had the stranges dream last night. I was visited by three ghosts. I believe their names were... Myrtle, Nick, and something about a baron. Anyway, they showed me the brighter side of life and I have decided to reform. I am renouncing my life as a murderer. I'm thinking about becoming a seamstress, or maybe I'll make greeting cards...

Voldemort to his Death eaters-Has anyone heard of the muggle rapper, Eminiem? he is the best singer ever!

Voldemort to Harry- That curse was so good! its such a pitty you missed! Ill give you one more chance...

Hope you like them!

Ha ha thanks. Moon(I luv you Luna) I didn't think it was that good.

twilightprince - Yors was great.

weaslyismyking - He he Eminiem good use of are world. It was great!

Ok heres one more.


Hermione to Ron - " Could you help me with question 5 B plese?? I don't no what animagus means!"

Ron - Gasps and starts to choke in amazment.

Snape - " Now look what you have done Miss Granger, my favourite student is chokeing," looks like i will have to go back to Mr Potter then." Oh by the way F Miss Granger.

Hello, here's my attempt:

Prof. Lockhart: Hello, my name is Gilderoy.

Support Group: Hi, Gilderoy!

Prof. Lockhart: I have an eating disorder... I just feel... so... ugly! -breaks down crying-


Sorry. I've got nothing.

Lol, poor Professor Lockheart!
~
Ron: I've decided that i don't want to be a wizard.

*Snaps wand in half*

Ron: I'm going to live my life as a muggle from now on!

Dudley: Cool! Let's go help incocent children with their homework!

Ron: Ok!

*The two skip off with linked arms into a wonderful sunset, leaving a very biwildered Harry and Hermione*

Harry: Uh ...

Hermione: What just happened?

Harry: Cigar? *Produces a cigar* And Crabbe and Goyle have a lot of champaine!

Crabbe: Oh yes!

Goyle: Yes yes, wo do!

Crabbe: Come join us, won't you old chaps?

Hermione: Why not?

*Four sit down in a lively discussioin about the rumor that Voldemort's going to become a Gymastic teacher*

The End.
~
There we go, as you can see (If you've read any of my other post) i've kept up the Crabbe and Goyle-cigar-old-chap thing. Lol.

Oh Moon(I luv you Luna) thosse where really good. I am, just trying to picture Harry with an old cigar. And Chimes your lockhart one was really funny.

Snape to students- " Today students we will not larn the subtle science of the exact art of something of the sort. I have found that this dungeon is soooo gloomy i thought we should liven it up with a disco. * Waves wand and a disco ball asends down* Now everyone Partyyyyyyyyyy!

Best i could do.

OK I'm warning you this will probably be terrible:

Snape comes walking into the great Hall in white robes

Snape to Harry- Now that you have killed voldemort let us get married

Harry to Snape- Ok you were always my Favorite teacher

the two go skipping out of the great hall

Dumbledore to Hagrid- Now that those two have confessed there love why don't we run away together

Hagrid to Dumbledore- I can't I have already promised Flitwick and anyways I already sold that blasted Fang for this dress *shows a huge wedding dress to school* Does this dress make me look fat?

Sorry that's all I could come up with!!

Letter to Harry from LV:
My dearest Harry,
This is my suicide note. I have simply lost the will to live and have embraced death as the next great adventure. I offer my apologies for all the hardships you and many other innocent families have endured. I truly admire Dumbledore for all of his acheivements and he as always been my greatest inspiration. I enclose in this letter, my will. As you can see, I have left you all of my possessions. Good bye and best of luck.
Forever Yours,
Lord Voldemort

Ron excitedly to Harry: "Harry, Hermione's made me Vice President of S.P.E.W! This is the happiest day of my life! Even better than when we took a stroll in the Forbidden Forest and met those delightful spiders!"

Harry to Voldemort: "Let's have a cup of tea, shall we? And we can discuss this prophecy in a civilized, friendly way."
Voldemort: "Why, of course, wouldn't want to be causing problems. I dare say the ministry has enough on it's hands."
Harry: "Yes, don't you just adore Rufus Scrimgeor, delightful chap."

Ron to Lavender: "Lav-Lav! Thank you so much for the "Sweetheart" necklace. I wear it every day. I even put an engorgement charm on it so that every one will be able to see it. Fred and George just love it."
Fred seriously to George: "Yeah, I think I'll ask Angelina to give me one"
George: "It would look lovely with your red hair. And it would really bring out the color of your eyes"
Fred: "Hmmm, lets give up this joke-shop business and start a jewelry store. This can be our first product!"
George: "Delightful!"

Fred to Mrs. Weasley: "Mother, I am very pleased to announce that your two twin boys received eleven 'Outstanding' O.W.L.'s."
George: "Yes, now where's Percy? I've been looking forward to having a lengthy discussion about the recent abundance of cauldron leaks. Really could be a serious danger."

Dudley to Petunia: "Honestly mother, I cannot be eating any more of your cakes. I can't imagine eating all those trans fats, carbs, and sugars, so unhealthy! Carrot sticks, please, and hold the ranch!"

Trelawny: "Harry! Your tea leaves say that you are going to live an extremely long and happy life! Congratulations!"

Ron: "Man, I'm so worried about next weeks exams. I've still got loads to study for, even with the study schedule I've drawn up. There just doesn't seem to be enough time."
Hermione: "Exams? Who worries about exams? Let's go skinny dipping in the lake with the giant squid."
Harry: "Brilliant. I'll go fetch Snape and Malfoy and we'll meet you down there."

Dumbledore to LV: "I'm baaaaaack!"

haha ok.. i'm done.

Lockhart, while listening to the radio, suddenly remembers who he is: "That's it! That's me! I'm a Barbie Girl in a Barbie Woorlld! Life in plastic, it's fantastic!"

A rather unlikely scene, don't you think?

Draco walks into an empty classroom, where he's astonished to find Hermione crying her eyes out

Malfoy: Granger?

Hermione looks round and sobs loudly

Hermione: Leave me alone Malfoy. You've done enough damage already!

Malfoy: What? What did I do now, Granger?

Hermione: As if you don't know. How else did the school find out I got a T?! Just get out or I swear I'll slap you again.

Malfoy: Granger... I...it wasn't me.

Hermione: Yeah, yeah. Just leave me alone!

Draco crosses the room and sits on the desk next to Hermione

Malfoy: Granger...Hermione...I'm sorry. I was just, well you see...

Hermione: Oh, what?! Go on then, give me some stupid excuse! Well, I don't care. I may be a mudblood but at least I have feelings.

Malfoy: You see the thing is Hermione, I only say those things, I only told people about your fail because, well, I love you. I can't stand that you won't talk to me. And then, to make matters worse, you're better than me at everything. You hang around with those loosers when all I want you to do is smile at me!

Hermione sniffs, wipes her eyes and looks up to meet Draco's gaze

Hermione: You...me...smile...I...I never knew.

Malfoy: I should never have said those things. I'm sorry.

He gets up to leave but she grabs his arm and stands up so they're face to face

Hermione: No, it's me who should be sorry. I never gave you a chance.

He puts his arms around her waist and pulls her closer to him

Malfoy: This could work...We could work...I love you and as long as we have each other, who cares what the world throws at us. We can defeat the Dark Lord, we can take on my parents.

Hermione: Yes, we can. I never thought I'd be saying this but, I, well, I love you too Draco. But no more insults right?!

Malfoy: No more insults.....

He kisses her tenderly

That was beautiful! *wipes eyes*
screw won-won, i'm rooting for hermione and draco!

and i also really want this to happen:

Snape: Miss Granger, you just managed to scrape a D in your last essay-
Hermione: Yeah but am i bovvered though?
Snape: Do not interrupt me whilst i am speaking Miss Granger or else i'll-
Hermione: But I aint bovvered though
Snape: Silence! Do not think for one moment you can-
Hermione: Look at my face, it aint bovvered
Snape: I-
Hermione: Look at my face though.
Snape: You-
Hermione: Look at my face though sir. i aint even bovvered.
Snape: But-!
Hermione: Bezoars, boomslang skin, snake fangs, horned slugs, bean roots, valerian roots, moonstone, hellbore,wormwood, asphodel, sopophorus, phosphorus, copper, magnesium, bronze, silver, your mum's gold teeth, I AIN'T BOVVERED!!!!!!
Snape: Moving on...

1. Hermione: Harry, can you teach me how to play Quidditch?
2. Draco: I wonder if Dumbledore likes me?
3. Draco: My favorite class is Care for Magical Creatures because....
4. ....my favorite teacher is Hagrid.

Those are lame, but it's late and that's all I can think of

Ok i'll give it another go.


Hermione to Harry - " Let's think there has to be a way to solve the mystery of the Horcruxes."

Harry walks from behind something but you don't get to see what it was.

Harry - " Erm yeah well maybe for a novice like you but i allready figuerd it out."

Hermione - " Oh wow, really Harry well done."

Harry shows Hermione what it was he went behind.

Harry - " Yeah i just hoped into the TARDIS to see how it gets solved in the future."

I love this thread.

Ok, this looks like fun.
So this one is right before the Dark Lord decides to kill Harry.

"Avada... No wait. Excuse me, but I don't really feel like destroying my archnemesis today. Do you think we could take a rain check? Besides, I have to go get my nails done in a half hour, and I do not have enough time to make a speach while standing over your dead body, and get to my apointment on time. Really, you're sure this can wait? Good, cause I really need time to prepare my speech. I forgot it last night, because..." You don't want to know the rest.

By the way, I hate comedy, hence the fact that that was the hardest most horrible thing I have ever written.

"Do I really have to kill you? I mean, there are so many things I could be doing with my time. I could be enjoying my time with Ginny. And it's all your fault we're not together right now. I could be sleeping; I haven't slept well in years, again your fault. Not to mention the fact that I don't want to track you all across the country. I could be living my life. So why don't you just, I don't know, give up on this take over the world thing for a few years. Maybe you could find another prophecy, and try and fullfill that one. I'm sure there are plenty of people who want to take you down. So why is it always me?"

I hate comedy! So I'm done!

~Aeryn~

HAHAHAHHA
OMG those are the funniest..
hahaha..I didn't know that it wasen't really butter until last year. I thought it was just a name.

Draco: Sorry

Mrs.Weasley to Fred and George: I completely approve of your career.

Harry: My scar didn't hurt at all this month

Ron: I understand muggles and everything about them

Lockhart: I'm straight

Ron: I support H/Hr

Ginny: I support Harry/Anyone else apart from me

Hermione: I love Ron

Ron: I don't love Hermione

Harry: I support R/Hr

Victor Krum: I support H/Hr

Sorry for all the supporting

Arthur Weasley: Muggles are annoying

Lucius: Arthur is my bum chum

Draco to Lucius: Can i sit on your knee?

Peter Pettigrew: I didn't like it when I slept next to Ron

Hermione: Elves are dumb things, Can I eat one?

Luna: THERE ISN'T ANYTHING IN THE WORLD CALLED A HUMPLE HORNED SNORT SACK!

Here'a a petition for the Ron/Hermione ship haters. It's about trying to ban the books in Bloomsberry or whatever and bookshops because they said it should've beem Harry/Hermione, or 'Harmony' *cackle*
Anywayz, everyone is trashing them [Harmony supporters] and stuff and it's really funny..but then later people lose focus and this little group starts role-playing for pages and it's hillarious ..Look for Tonks or Lupin.
http://www.petitionspot.com/petitions/ulti...l/signatures/98

I'm guessing they were role playing before cause...look:



Here's one where they're asking each other who they were [in the middle of it]
Btw, this is a petiton. Meaning they are communicating in signitures.


And if you get here one of the main character pplz are leaving

The Henry guy disappears.
When you come here it gets funny again, cause you're allowed to use whatever names when you're signing the signiture.


Anywayz, you read it. That's not them roleplaying though.

lol I love the ones i've read so far I'll give it a go:

Voldemort to Harry: "It's time to finish this once and for all! You knew there was only one way of settling this, Potter. DANCE OFF!*disco lights appear and Bee Gees 'Stayin' Alive' starts playing*

Note: I have a very random sense of humour

Draco to Mcgonagall - " Ooooh what are we learning today proffesor? Look i made some cookies for my favoritist teacher."

Hermione to Harry - " Why are we in the libary? You know it makes me go mad with all this books of learning about!"

Voldermort to Death Eaters - " Right ho boys your in for a treat today. I've book some girls... for a very special treat.." * Voldermort starts to drool*

Your's was funny hp is my obsession

(Final battle between harry and voldie)

Voldemort: I've been waiting years to do this.....tag! you're it!

******************************

Hermione: Look at the book list for next year!

'Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone' by JK Rowling
'Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets' by JK Rowling
'Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban' by JK Rowling
'Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire' by JK Rowling
'Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix' by JK Rowling
'Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince' by JK Rowling
and 'Too Much too young', biography by Kerry Katona

Ron: Blimey...

Snape - " Ickley ronnie is my favouritst student!"

Malfoy - " Harry you going out this friday?"

Something amazing just happens and everyne turns to Ron.

Ron - " No i'm not saying it i am not saying the line."

I love this thread. It's just mad but brilliant.

and sorry if any of mine are similair to other ones.

Sirius: 'Hi everybody! How have you been?'

I mean... Sirius is dead... He couldn't ever, ever, ever say this - or anything else.

Dumbledore : " Right everyone shut up and listen i am retiring for post of Headmaster of Hogwarts and allow me to your knew headmaster. Please give a warm welcome to Kreacher the House elf!!! I am sure he will be able to sort you lot out."

Ok i didn't like that one as much. But i can sort of picture that in my head. Kreacher would teach everyone how to love Bellatrix Lestrange.

that one's so funny! made me chuckle!

Voldemort:*kneeling by his father's grave crying hysterically* Daddy! Why didn't you love me daddy?! why?! i loved you daddy! i loved you! but you didn't love me back, didya daddy! oh daddy!

Severus to Sirius:my god you look absolutely stunning those tight fit jeans. very sexy i must admit. but then again, i have always admired your slender figure...

Fred to George: but why don't your wear your pink frilly dress? you so darling in! *flicks wrist letting his hand hang down*

Harry: sometimes i just don't know why i bother. after all, have no real courage, or sense of what is right and what is wrong. all i ever do is fail, and if this is what the world has come to, it doesn't deserve to be saved. i think i will just let Voldemort kill me.

Haha. That one was good. See the scary thin is can picture it.



Umbridge - " Well done, keep up the good work. Carry on like that and you can replaced stupid old Fudge or scrige.. somthing as Ministry of Magic."

Filch - " I admit it dangling people by thier thumbs in the dungeon is a terrible crim i am really sorry for all the pain i caused. Ectera. So so sorry."

Voldemort- *Waltzing down the Diagon Alley* "The sun will come out, tomorrow. Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow, there'll be sun. Just thinking about tomorrow, clears away the cobwebs and the sorrow, 'till there's none. Tomorrow! Tomorrow! I love ya, Tomorrow! You're only a day (babababa) a- (babababa) way!!"

lol tht was hilarious! hm, i got some:

Cho:"Oh, sorry Harry I'm already going to the Yule Ball with someone."
Harry:"Cho, who're you going with?"
Cho:"Cedric Diggory."*walks away*
Harry:*singing*"I gave you my music, made your song take wing, and now how you repay me, deny me and betray me..."

Voldemort:"Harry, I am your father."


Snape:"Do the Hussle!"


Wormtail:"Here are your cupcakes, Master, I made them just like you said."
Voldemort:*inspects cupcakes* "And where are the pink sprinkles?!?!?"

*Peeves and Filch, singing in unison*:"Together for life, together forever..."

Harry:"Oh, Hedwig I love you!"*hugs Hedwig*
Hedwig*thinking*:"Thats it, I have had ENOUGH! Your so clingy!"*flies away*
Harry:"Heddy?Don't go!" *weeps openly*

Percy:"I feel like dancin', WHOO, dancin', WHOO, dance the night away!"

*Voldemort and Harry sing in unison*:"Sunshine lollipops and rainbows, everything thats wonderful, thats how I feel when we are together!"

Sirius from beyond the veil:"I'm too sexy for my veil, too sexy for my veil, so sexy it hurts..."

Crabbe from in front of the Mirror of Erised:"Show me Draco..."

Dumbledore:"Hello, Sibyl.."*winks*

Umbridge:"Hagrid, I know I have been a bit standoff-ish, but...the truth is...I love you!"
Lupin:*bursts through the door*Dolores! How could you?"

Harry:"Ron, Hermione...I'm going to the Dark Side."
Harry:"Wait a minute...Jo, whatl are you doing?I can NOT go to the Dark Side!"
JK:"Well, Harry I thought maybe the people would like a twist."
Harry:".........I can't take this anymore, I'll be in my trailer."
Ron and Hermione:"Now you've done it Jo, thanks."
Jk:*hangs head in shame*

Voldemort, being a door-to-door salesman:*reading off card*"Hello Sir or Madame, please have one of our delicious cupcakes in exchange for a lifetime of service to Lord Volde-oh great, its you."
Harry:"Hmmm....what kind of cupcakes are they?"

Teenage Lily to Teenage Snape:"You know, I LOVE a man in gray underwear!"

hope u guys liked um!!!

<3Potentialy Problematic




lol tht was hilarious! hm, i got some:

Cho:"Oh, sorry Harry I'm already going to the Yule Ball with someone."
Harry:"Cho, who're you going with?"
Cho:"Cedric Diggory."*walks away*
Harry:*singing*"I gave you my music, made your song take wing, and now how you repay me, deny me and betray me..."

Voldemort:"Harry, I am your father."


Snape:"Do the Hussle!"


Wormtail:"Here are your cupcakes, Master, I made them just like you said."
Voldemort:*inspects cupcakes* "And where are the pink sprinkles?!?!?"

*Peeves and Filch, singing in unison*:"Together for life, together forever..."

Harry:"Oh, Hedwig I love you!"*hugs Hedwig*
Hedwig*thinking*:"Thats it, I have had ENOUGH! Your so clingy!"*flies away*
Harry:"Heddy?Don't go!" *weeps openly*

Percy:"I feel like dancin', WHOO, dancin', WHOO, dance the night away!"

*Voldemort and Harry sing in unison*:"Sunshine lollipops and rainbows, everything thats wonderful, thats how I feel when we are together!"

Sirius from beyond the veil:"I'm too sexy for my veil, too sexy for my veil, so sexy it hurts..."

Crabbe from in front of the Mirror of Erised:"Show me Draco..."

Dumbledore:"Hello, Sibyl.."*winks*

Umbridge:"Hagrid, I know I have been a bit standoff-ish, but...the truth is...I love you!"
Lupin:*bursts through the door*Dolores! How could you?"

Harry:"Ron, Hermione...I'm going to the Dark Side."
Harry:"Wait a minute...Jo, whatl are you doing?I can NOT go to the Dark Side!"
JK:"Well, Harry I thought maybe the people would like a twist."
Harry:".........I can't take this anymore, I'll be in my trailer."
Ron and Hermione:"Now you've done it Jo, thanks."
Jk:*hangs head in shame*

Voldemort, being a door-to-door salesman:*reading off card*"Hello Sir or Madame, please have one of our delicious cupcakes in exchange for a lifetime of service to Lord Volde-oh great, its you."
Harry:"Hmmm....what kind of cupcakes are they?"

Teenage Lily to Teenage Snape:"You know, I LOVE a man in gray underwear!"

hope u guys liked um!!!

<3Potentialy Problematic

Ha ha, I read all of the first and last page... I laughed sssooo hard on all of them... here is a pathetic one of mine..

Sirius - Kreacher, you know that I really like having you around don't you?
Kreacher - Yes, I do
Sirius - I'm glad... *starts to tear* because I don't know what I'd do if you weren't here. *hugs Kreacher*
*Kreacher just pats his back* - There, there

Alright, that was weak...

Voldemort admitting that he loves Harry and would like to adopt him as a surrogate son. Hehe that would be quite funny!

Umbridge today im going to give you a lesson on proper parenting *shudders*

The Dursleys Harry we love you and wish you the best, good luck and we hope you will visit sometime.

Petunia- Lily was in fact, my twin sister. I know we don't look alike. But I think we do.

Vernon- My son Dudley is the skinniest kid on the planet.

Hagrid- Shhhh. I'm not tall, I just drank a little too much potion.

Harry- Fact is, Cho cheated on me.

Petunia- I'm jealous, Lily got the good looking man.
Vernon: hey that's not fair, I'm soooo handsome!
Petunia: I wasn't comparing him to you.

Hermione: "Ron, I want a divorce"
Ron: "So do I"

Weak I know, but good in a way I guess

I would never tell Neville Longbottom that his Gran was secretly a Death Eater in disguise

I would never tell Draco that it was never meant for him to be a true Death Eater just a wannabe

well here are my feeble contributiong to this hillarious thread

Draco to Harrry-- " umm i know that were not great friends but i was wondering if...errmm....well maybe we could put that behind us and...erm well... you could introduce me to that hunk of a cousin youv got??"

Voldy to harry-- "you know, im sensing a lot of tension in our relationship... I- I think we should see a counselor...or maybe we should discuss our differences over a nice toasty bunt cake"

HArry to snape--"would you like a licorice wand professor?"
Snape to harry--" no thanks, im trying to watch my midsection...."
Harry to Snape--" uhh i know wat you mean! my thighs are just--uhh- out of control!"

Snape to Harry " Harry, I am your father"
Harry "Noooooooooo"

Me and my friend made these up. Prepare to laugh your heads off..

Im the friend speaking Dumbledore and Voldemort fans get off the computer!

1. No matter how funny it is Harry won't go up to A.D and tell him he's sprung a LEAK. [These thing happen in old age].

2. Voldemort singing- Im...uhhh... OH!... To sexy for my shirt. To sexy for my shirt. SO SEXY IT HURTS!!!

3. Dumbledore- HO HO HOOOO. Merry Christmas!

4. Voldemort- Like oh my god like Umbridge is like so HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I'm sorry, excuse my friend for commanding everyone to get off the computer.

I would never tell Draco that Harry was actually bribed by Ministry officials to save his hide

I would never tell Ron that Hermione is secretly in love with Arthur

I'd never tell Harry that Sirius and Petunia had a love affair which resulted in Dudley.

I'd never tell Harry that Ginny used to be a boy because the Weasley's wanted a girl so bad they had Ginson changed to Ginny.