oh no problem mrs hagrid.

well there is a big difference between your situation and mine you try to get close to your daughter my mom doesn't. i've tired to talk to her so many times that i've lost count. i try to tell myself that i'm over reacting but then she says stuff that rips me apart and it hurts and i start wondering why i even try. i would love to her her ask me what's wrong when she sees me down but she doesn't. she just doesn't care and it hurts. i sometimes wish i could get away but i can't. just because my mother is that way doesn't mean that i could just leave. at least i have my dad.

so i'm glad you didn't erase it! everyone here is very supportive and stuff!

um...ok, I read some of the previous posts & I just feel like giving you all a big hug well, if I am ever depressed, it's really hard for you to make that out...cause I often cover it up with sarcasm or humourous jokes...or anger...i've never actucally told anyone my deepest thoughts or desires or opinions...not even my parents...simply because I know that they won't understand...and even though i've never actucally tried telling anyone...I know that they won't take me seriously, because i've always been known to be funny & immature to all my friends & family, so if I ever tried to tell them how I feel, they would just think that I was mucking around...and I guess I kinda prefer it that way...I like to keep all my emotions & secrets to myself...
ok, now that probably woundn't have made any sense...but I don't think i'm going to elaborate...

I am so glad everyone is opening up. It is really beneficial for you and for us to read these things.

mrs hagrid, i am really glad too you didn't erase that post. I am sorry your son suffers from depression but as long as you are supportive and let him know that you will forever love him no matter what, he will be fine. Maybe the distance caused it, who knows? But i am really glad he decided to go to a psychologist after all. I hope he will be better soon enough. You are a brilliant mother, both you and Marcey. Thank you for setting good examples for the younger ones.

Stef, i have already shared my thoughts with you when it comes to your mum. I think that she can't accept the fact that you are not a blondie who cares only for make up and clothes and guys, and that you actually have brain you use for more productive occupations. I don't think talking to her will help, or at least it may help for a while, but after that, she will get back to what she thinks 'normal'. I am glad your dad and siblings are supportive, especially andy, and i advice you to be patient. The time will come when she will realise how unfair her behaviour is...

ChOco, it makes sense to me. I have realised that i keep my emotions to myself. I can help people, listen to their problems and advice them, but i can't seem to talk about me. I feel uneasy when i have to talk about my thoughts and my problems and i realise things about myself through other people. This hurts, it really does and i fear that one day, all these emotions will burst out and that there will be no way to fix the damage...I guess that what you and I have to do, is try opening up to our friends, to the ones we can trust the most. These may be your mum, your dad, your sibling/s, your boyfriend...But you just have to let it all out. I keep telling that to myself every single day.

Alkisti your idea that you can not talk to anyone is so sad. And I do not mean that in a patrenising way. No human being can be all for everyone else without needing something for themselves. Why can't you talk about your problems? Don't you trust anyone to understand you or are you worried that everyone expects you to be strong all the time? I won't go on.

I feel so sad that you feel that your mum is unable to listen to you fany_monkey. When my children were growing up, I was so insecure and timid that if my daughter or son came to me with an emotional problem, I would fall apart and do everything to chase them away. I was so insecure. Before I was married, I was a confident and happy person. I think the responsibilities of being a parent scared me to death. I did not understand what having children entailed. So I am sure my daughter and son both thought the same about me that you do about your mum. Unapproachable.

Thankfully I grew up and took control of my own life and emotions. I still fear bad things happening to my kids. I just don't live it every waking moment anymore. I think I found motherhood a hell of a lot overwhelming. I just couldn't cope with another problem. So I am sure I pushed my children away too. It didn't help that I was the only parent who bothered with the kids.

I guess what I am trying to say fany_monkey is don't give up on your mum. She might be dealing with more than she can control right now. I know that doesn't help you when you need her but don't let this put a block between you that can never be moved. Find other ways to speak your worries. Come here or write them down in a journal or on a piece of paper that you can rip up and flush away. I don't know about you but I could use a hug right now

mrs hagrid

there you go mrs hagrid!

yeah alkisti you've told me and i really love that you're always there to listen to me even tho you live half way across the world! you know you can talk to me alkisti!

i get how you feel jay it's hard talking about ones feelings it's easier just to hide behind of mask of laughter and sarcasm i use to do that and i still do. long ago i promised that i would never let people see me cry... i've kept that promise with exception of my closest friends and family.

mrs hagrid i really do hope your right because things with my mom seem to get worse everytime. i realized that this has been happening all my life but i use to ignore it because it hurt so much. i really needed a hug from my mother today because i was feeling really down but i didn't get it from her, i got it from my dad. i found the peace i needed at church so i guess i'm ok now. i just wish that my mom loved me like she does my sister... but whatever *shrug*

i guess i'll stop ranting on and on about my problems with my mom

depression is a sad topic.

i was once so depressed i didn't leave my bed for at least two week.s

Well...i guess that the problem is that i always had friends who were more willing to talk than hear and now that my friends want to listen to my problems as well, i feel that i have nothing important to say and that i am not worth being listened to...And i have difficulty on expressing myself, i believe that my issues are stupid. It is hard getting over this, but i think i will manage to do that sometime in the future... Thanks for reading this mumbling...

7th horcrux- not harry i am sorry you suffered from that and i hope you will never have it again...Depression can be really life threatening...

Hey everybody! just checking in...ive been really busy.. exams..work..mm...really busy.
Anyway... i hope you're all well!

Fany_monkey...its a shame you're still having problems with your mum, but i hope its better than it was!
Mrs Hagrid...i didnt get time to read your posts, but you sound like a really nice person, i hope you're well!
Alkisti...Your not mumbling, what you have is worth listening to, and definetly worth saying! you have experienced things, so what you say about yourself, its good to talk about, and you give really good advice. Keep it up!

I take it Atheneon hasn't been around here recently either? I seem to have lost half the site and half the members..am i just missing things?

Clara}~

well...I am sorry Alkisti...but for some reason i've always grown up with the theory that talking & breaking open is pointless...as it doesn't help, I mean sure, it might take the weight off your chest a bit, but it doesn't solve the problem...and another sad thing...I don't trust anyone with my thoughts...and I mean no-one...sometimes i've tried to tell my mum & dad (about once in a blue moon) but they never seem to listen & they often cut me off speech...so i've pretty much given up on that...

well, Stef i've never actually promised anything to myself...but I have never ever let people see me cry for years... (probably because I have given up on crying)...true, it's so much easier to hide behind a mask & evade the world...

Thank you clara morgue! You people here have really helped me get better and better eventually! And i am glad to listen to any of your problems, you all know that! It is my pleasure helping you!

I am sorry ChOco you feel like that, you really don't deserve to be trapped inside your thoughts and feelings, you need to let them out every once in a while...And i am sure there is someone in your life who really wants to listen to you. Also, talking may make things seem less painful than you think. People can always find a way to simplify things and make you remember that life has its ups and downs and that you have to deal with the downs and enjoy the ups. I don't know who taught you that or if something made you believe that, but it is wrong. Everyone needs to talk, you can't do that to yourself. I am sure you are an amazing person; let everyone see that! You deserve that first of all to yourself, and then to the rest!

hey clara long time no see around here! yeah emm things with my mom are worse not better but hey that's the way things are!

jay i wish i could give up on crying but i can't, it's in my nature to cry when i'm sad and to punch walls when i'm mad lol my poor hand still hurts! thanks for listening to my rant yesterday

ohhh alkisti you missed a wonderful rant yesterday! everything you said to jay is true you do help simplify things. it's just so much easier to let it all out instead of bottling things up!

Stef i am really sorry for everything that happened. It is not fair to you going through this situation when you have so many things in your head. It is like you can't settle down for a while; troubles just keep coming after you. You are a trouble-magnet, there is no other way to explain this. Well...my advice is to relax a little bit and let things roll. And remember that sometimes you can only trust yourself, unfortunately... I hope things will get better eventually.

ha nicely said! it's like if trouble and i seem to be made for each other! i promise that i never go looking for problems they just seem to find me!
well yeah i'm going to have to just shut the hell up and watch things unfold i can't do much can i?
all i have now is a swollen hand ha why on earth do i hit things when i'm mad? i will never understand my need to throw things and hit things!

I know, but it is a way of releasing your anger. Why don't you punch a pillow instead? It is really relieving and less painful!
But ok, seriously now, you just have to get these things out of your head. If you keep bringing them back over and over again, you just make it even harder to get over them. At a book i read, it said that if you keep thinking of the things you DON'T want to happen, all these negative thoughts are gathered together and BOOM, they just burst and you see all of your don't s being true. If that makes sense.

hahaha the wall was the first thing that was there and ok it was an acciedent lol my punching bag has a mind of it's own and well it sorta moved and well the wall was there so yeah didn't do it on purpose

ok let me think of other things like puppies and rainbows lol naa i guess i'll take out all my stress on my fanfic

Yep that could work too! But please don't make someone die! Man i have missed your fanfic, i have to catch up on it!
Anyway, i really hope you will feel better the next days and that nothing bad is going to happen to you again. You deserve to be happy for more than...well...let's say 24 hours in a row. We all do.

aww alkisti i can't make any promises
yeah i hope this next few days are better but well then again i'm going to be home alone with my mother for three days so well that can't be good can it? lol i think we all deserve to be happy! i'm trying really hard not to let everything around me bring me down! i have one little ray of hope! but well i just hope my ray of hope hasn't forgotten me *sigh*

thanx for that alkisti. Even though it doesn't fully convince me. It makes me feel a whole better thanx

haha, your welcome Stef, hopefully your hand will heal up. ahhh...I used to punch walls when I was mad as well...but once I atcually rammed my hand against the wall and it started bleeding like crazy...my sister saw it & she was like "WTF" and she gave me a full on lecture about anger-management & threatened to tell my parents...so yeah...i've stopped punching things for a bit...

...well...maybe you can spend more time out of the house & roaming around town...but then again, your mum might restrict you from leaving the house while she is all alone (mine would)...

Wow. It's been forever since I've been here. I seem to have recently abandonned the poor Depression thread. I will try to stick around more.

Hey Stef. I know you're going to be home alone with your mom for the next couple of days. I will try and download MSN so maybe we can meet up?

You're wrong. *shakes head* Very wrong. You don't have a little ray of hope. You have a big wide beam of it!!! Seriously Stef. Look around you...er...the forum. If each of us in this thread is a little ray of hope for you, together, would we not be a big beam of sunlight shining down on you?

Do we shape destiny? Or does destiny shape us? Would what we do change our destiny? Or is it set in stone? This question is almost as old as time. Stef, even if you figure out the answer, it would not change matters as they stand. This is what I say: follow the Bible. It is the only absolute truth in the entire universe. And is it not written:

"Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?

Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?

Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?

And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin:

And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.

Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?

Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?

(For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.

But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof." (Matthew 6:24-35 KJV)

Whatever happens, you can rest in the knowledge that you are in good hands. I like reading His Word when I am feeling kinda depressed, or upset, or just nervous. Especially Job and Psalms. Job shows that we may not really understand what on earth is He doing in our lives, but in the end, all the really matters is that He knows what He is doing. And He does. The things He does are often uncomprehendable to us, but maybe they're not meant to be understood by our shallow minds. Psalms shows that no matter what, He is at your side. Even as you fall, He will be there to pick you up. If you get lost, He will light your way and guide you along. There is nothing gained in worrying about what will happen tomorrow. What happens will happen.

Your name itself makes you so special. Do you know the origin of it? Stef, or Stephanie, is the female form of Stephan. Stephan is the first Christian martyr. He may thought himself insignificant. Heck, for all we know, his life could have been an exact imitation of yours at the moment. But look what he did for God. He was not some nobody from who knows when he died. Same with Jeremiah. Did He not say that "before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations" (Jeremiah 1:5)?

Stef, what is happening now will not happen forever. This is not, cannot be God's plan for you. But because of Adam's sin, we --all of us on this thread and others around the world suffering -- have to pay the consequences. But He promises great things for you to do and in store for you. One day, Stef, you will be able to escape from your prison-home. One day, you will have the power to break the bonds of servititude and be able to soar freely in the sky of opportunities as an eagle without a care. Because, Stef, your courage, your determination, your strength and you beauty truly makes you as magnicient as an eagle.

~Dianne

wow dianne i sure did miss your wise advice! it's amazing that no matter how many times i've read the bible you can always learn something new, and you are very right and i know it. i sometimes forget that God has a special plan for me. i don't know what it is yet but i'm searching. i know that i shouldn't complain because compared to others i am so blessed.
i really hope you are right and that one day i'll be able to soar like an eagle. i will remember your words these next few days because i am stuck here, because my mother won't let me go out. i am soo grateful to all of you on this thread! you all have helped me and i hope that i can do the same for you when you need it...

Dianne, it is really nice seeing you here! Your words are really soothing, like rain in the dessert. As for the Bible, i know i have to read it sometime...

ChOco you know you can trust me! I know it is hard to believe my words, but if you let yourself open up, then you will feel much better and see how many people are there for you!

Stef, your ray of light has not forgotten you! Remember my words: the sun always comes out after the rain, even though we may not see it. And a rainbow is right there waiting for you to notice it and give you a smile!
Your ray has not forgotten you, i know it hasn't! I just know it! You'll see....
And as for your mum, you know we are all here for you!Praise the guy who came up with internet! You know you can always pm me, email me or send me a message at msn! If i can make your day brighter, then so be it!

i'm so lucky to have such good friends on here! you guys understand me better than a lot of my friends over here do!
well alkisti i really hope you are right! i have to be confident! but it's hard because we're in April and no news!
yeah i love the person who invented internet! *claps loudly*
i know i can count on you! and you have brightened up my day several times!

I know it is April but this ray may be very busy shining on other people's lifes right now...So don't give up on hope! I am sure a letter will be there any time soon!
I have to send you a pm sometime, but that can wait!
I am here to shine your day you know that!
I am really glad i get to meet all of you, i know you can all help and be there for me and this is very rare!...

Stupid blocker at school blocked the darn webmessenger. Shoot. Darn the school board. Why now?

Yeah. A little peeved. Anyways.

Sometimes, it is easier to open up to people online because you are pretty much annoymous. People will know nothing other than your online alias if you choose it to be so. People here on VTM is a more close-knit community than that.

As for my words, I had to write them twice because the computer decided to shut down on me half-way through the post! I'm glad they soothed you and gave you hope. Print them out and have them at your side, if you need to. I didn't copyright them....

Well, I gotta run. I should get back to class and my project.... I'll post more later if I can.

~Dianne

PS You're always in my prayers Stef. And the others on here. Expecially Marcey. I hope her divorce and child custody stuff is going okay.

Aww Dianne you are soo sweet , so far things in that department are kinda on hold. Where I am in a different state right now it is kinda hard to get anything started, I am gonna try and go home on leave next month for a few days and see if I can get the ball rolling, and if I can get that done then the child custody will be the next step in line. I will probaly be down here in New Mexico until November, and in that state if you are here for 6 months you are considered a resident, so if I can't get the ball rolling back in Virginia then I'm going to do it here in New Mexico. I will keep you ladies posted on the whole situation.

Take care girls

Marcey

I don't think you are going to have any problems. I mean, it is clear who led to this divorce and whose fault it is and also, who should get the custody. Mothers always get the custody unless they are alcoholic or something, so no worries about that. The only thing that should be troubling you is how fast you will be able to get rid of that guy once and for all. Haha and he still believes you will go back! What an ...

lol, depressed people need help. see a sycatrist or talk to someone it will help believe me , enjoy life it is the greatest gift anyone can ask for. your probaly the one who make it mistreacble !

Believe you? Who here doesn't want help for their problems? Raise your hand. Each and every one of us here wants nothing more than to say, "yeah, I was depressed. I got past it and lived though." But who here has the means or courage to seek professional help? Many of the people here live in the United States where there isn't free health care. Even in Canada, because of the Conservatives' Health cutbacks, psycology isn't free.

No duh. We know that going to a psyciatrist "will help." We also know that we should "enjoy life" because it is the "greatest gift that anyone can ask for." We are the ones living with this burden. But are we the ones that "make [our lives] miserable?" Look at Stef (fany_monkey), her mom is the one harassing her. Look at Marcey (DracosLady), its her husband's fooling around that makes her life miserable. So is it really us that makes our life miserable?

Don't judge people before you know them. Especially don't judge them by what little you know of them. You see the thread for "Depression" and everyone in here must be depressed, so you write a post laughing of how we are all "emos." The first thing that you wrote was "lol." Is there something funny about depression that I should know about? Because from what I know, there is nothing funny about it. Is lying in bed night after night just begging to die somehow mysteriously in your sleep funny? Is wishing that you don't have to wake up tomorrow funny? Is feeling so down that you don't even want to get up and move to go to school, to work, to take care of your children funny?

So many people who don't understand depression or have friends who has depression sees posers who think that it's funny to cut their arms and show the scars, to wear all black and say that they are going to suicide every three minutes. They, those sterotypes, detract attention away from those that really are depressed, are suicidal and need help. Others see hints of these posers and laugh. I don't know how many times someone said to me "Oh, you're so emo." It only forces me to hide these thoughts from the world and be "normal" when I really really want to do is go seek help.

Even the adults do not believe those with teenage depression. There are many pysciatrists who seem to think depression is simply mood swings. I know someone who sought for professional help and all she got was "isn't it a little silly to cut yourself because of some mood swings?" A lot of adults see teenagers and think that we have no reason to be depressed. Sure, we don't have to pay taxes and support our family, but the pressure of being a teenager has triplied from the last generation. With constant urge to get good grades at school, trying to fit into the mold the media has made and the influence of drugs and substance abuse all around us every single day, there is an endless list of about what to be depressed.

The least you can do, when expressing so strong and pointless an opinion, is to make sure that you can spell right. The comment doesn't help us a lot here. Everyone here lends a sympathetic ear to listen to, a shoulder to cry on and basically support and promise that things will get better and together, we can all make it to the end of this dark tunnel where there is a bright light shining. Sometimes, one of us falls down and can't see the light. The others here are the ones that give a hand to pull him/her back up and point out the light once more. It is towards the light we walk and together, we make sure no one gets lost along the way. Posts like this one does not help much other than provoke a very long response from me and some other members. We all stand for those who are forced to oppress their depression.

~Dianne

*claps* yeah dianne! i couldn't have said it better myself... but i'm going to give it a go...
i'm probably the one that makes things miserable for me huh? well i can assure you that it isn't true! i've been dealing with depression for some while now. i can't go and "get help" because my mother believes i'm just a drama queen. so i've been forsed to carry arouind this great weight with me where ever i go. whenever i feel i'm getting better there is my mother to make me feel worse, or if it isn't my mother it's something else. there are things we can't control even if we'd like to.
depression is a serious matter i can assure you. i hope you never have to go through what many of us have gone through. do you honestly believe the people who post on this thread like to feel depressed? do you think it's fun feeling that death is a better answer then having to listen to how you aren't good enough day after day?
i'm sorry but who are you to judge us? did you even read the other posts?
this thread has helped in ways i didn't think possible! instead of crying myself to sleep thinking that no one cares i get online and talk about my problems. people on here help me deal with them. they are my rays of light! no one on here ever tells me that i'm not good enough or that i should be someone else. they respect me and support me!
so if i were you i'd think twice before you post something like that again, or even better, read the other posts before you even think of posting! try to put yourself in our shoes and see if you can understand!

dianne you totally said it better than i!
Marecy don't worry everything will be ok! in a few months you won't even have to think about that slime ball any more!
thanks dianne you are all in my prayers also! it's good to know others pray for me too!

I am going to go further than Dianne and Stef did.
How dare you come here and insult all of us, people you don't know, you have never spoken to and who have never asked for your opinion?
You are probably one of these judgemental people who try to find a way to laugh at people just because they are not perfect. But let me tell you this: if you consider yourself perfect and you think that your life is brilliant, then there is something going on that you have not realised yet. Probably deep inside you are screaming louder than we do but you don't have the courage to admit it.
I don't care if you are going to attack to me, or if anyone else will, but you will never have the guts Stef, Marcey, ChOco and the rest have. You are just yet another airhead who comes to play God. Sorry, but we need no people like you at this thread.
And 'go see a psychiatrist' is not an advice. It is the worst thing you could have said. I wonder how you will feel when someone says it to your kids, to your parents, to you.

Thanx fany-monkey! I'll give you a big group hug as a matter of fact lets all get into a big group hug ok?

Alkisti I agree with you!


Ok to comment on this little tidbit of insulting info. Ok first of all, when you see a forum titled "Depression" you can generally assume that the topic is dealing solely with depression and that the people in the forum are discussing their experiences dealing with dpression. So first of all, if you are not depressed and have nothing useful to add to the conversation don't come over to the sight insulting those of us that enjoy coming in here and offering one another support. If you have no dealings with depression and don't fully understand what others go through that deal with it, then please be courteous to others and keep your 2 cents to yourself ok? All in all this will make the rest of us that are depressed or have been depressed feel somewhat better.

Again for future references it is not nice to insult others and assume because we are depressed that we are "psychotic" or whatever, and need to seek help like Dianne said, medical help does not come cheap in this country and not everyone can afford this.
This is a thread where those of us that offer one another support on issues do so without prejudice. Enough said? I certainly hope so....

Marcey

*claps loudly* i couldn't have said it better myself! i don't think i've ever seen more unity on a thread! go alkisti! i've only seen the nice loving alkisti!

ok guys i think we should just ignore the comment seeing as it came from someone who obviously doesn't know what it's like to feel depressed!

a group hug sounds like a good idea marcey you can call me stef! it's a lot shorter lol

what so funny?...
hey...that's not true...we're not the ones making ourselves miserable...contrary to that, we're actually the ones trying to make it worth coping with...we can't help it if parents or ex-boyfriends/husbands & friends make us feel enclosed...and what do mean 'go see a physciatrist'?...do you perhaps think we're mental?...just because we don't all have happy dappy lives doesn't mean we're all mentally ill...
ok, enough of my rant...I agree with you stef...I think we should just ignore that...

thanx alkisti, and you can call me jay, btw.

Ok, I understand your point of view Choco and I feel that you would have been more receptive to those comments had they not been coupled with "lol" and seemingly smart quips. I will however agree and say that if you are depressed, you should seek help someplace. You may not see yourself as "mental" and you're right... you're not, but you also can't allow yourselves to go astray on the road into a deeper depression. Talk to every you can... get the feelings on enclosure out by stepping out of your comfort zone. It will be hard.. but thats what this thread is for eh?

I agree, the comments said by a certain poster were wrong.. but really, was the comment "go see a psychiatrist" really that bad? I've seen a psychiatrist before and it is no way a demeaning thing to admit. They are professional who are there to help, and by agreeing to see one to attempt to solve your problems is one of the most admirable things a person in a depression can do.

I am going to step outside of being curteous for a moment, and I apologize ahead of time if this does not apply to this thread. I've been on many forums where mental health and well being threads are transformed from aiding others get through the said illness to glorifying (in a diluted sense) and refusing to see the problems that lie therein. I saw this happen with the "Cutting" thread... it quickly turned from "Hey I cut and I changed, you can too" to "Hey, cutting isnt that bad and it helps". Again, I am sorry if that doesnt apply, but I want to bring it up in light of recent posts I read. Also, before I'm seen as the ignorant outsider and Im met with the same array of posts that have been generated this past evening, I want you all to know that I have been living with two Bipolar sufferers for the past 17 years and I am quite accustomed to Depression.

Thanks for listening.

~Albus

I agree with Albus that seeking help from a psychiatrist can be helpful, if one can afford it.

I would also like to comment on the post that said that "[depressed people] are the ones who are making their lives miserable." I know you've all decided to ignore it, which I think is a good idea, but I just wanted to voice my view on one thing she said.

I think that, while it was entirely wrong of her to assume that depression is merely the fault of the depressed person, I would like to say that I think a person's attitude can contribute to their depression, and I speak from personal experience.

A few years ago, I suffered from depression. I had a lot going on in my life: my sister was in an abusive relationship, and I had to see this sibling that I'd always admired so much come to visit us with bruises and cuts all over her arms, claiming she'd fallen or that "he didn't mean to hit her." Meanwhile, my brother's drug abuse was starting to become so severe that he was having hallucinations and even becoming violent. And, the one friend that I'd always confided in was basically treating me like trash, so I was left feeling completely lost and alone.

However, instead of trying to make the situation better, I felt so crushed by everything that I just let myself wallow in despair. I even began to believe that I was somehow responsible for the decisions of the people around me. Like, maybe if I had just been a more supportive sister, my siblings wouldn't have made such bad decisions. Or, if I had just been a better friend, maybe my best friend wouldn't be abandoning me. It was stupid, because I see now that I was not at all responsible for their decisions, but I was too absorbed in my own depression to really care how logical my reasoning was.

I eventually overcame my depression, through the love and support of my family and friends, and especially through my relationship with my boyfriend Jamie, who gave me a steadfast friend to confide in. But what I learned from my experience was that a positive attitude is an integral part of the process of overcoming depression. I'm not saying that anyone on here is guilty of wallowing in self-pity like I did, but I certainly know that, as difficult as it is to conquer depression, it's even more difficult when you already feel like you've lost the battle.

I'm not sure if that makes any sense, and I'm sorry this is so long, but I just wanted to put my thoughts in as well

In America, at least, one can seek help from the government and get the mental health services you need. If you admit yourself to the hospital, and explain what you need and what you feel, you will get the help you need. Im not sure how it is in other countries, but you do not need socialized medicine to get the help you need. In fact, I know a lot of psychiatrists who do "pro bono" work. You just need to want to seek the help, and you will find it... in most parts of America atleast.

~Albus

i know how you feel...i've been depressed and ashamed since early this year .. see, i got hit by a car by a hit and run driver when i was crossing the street with my friends. this street is massive, it has 4 lanes on each side of the divider. everyone at school tells me, "when you see a car coming at you. RUN!" "some have been so mean to say, "go play intraffic.. oh wait you already did!" but who seriously can think straight when they see a car going 60 mph straight at them.

but ever since then, i've been regretting everything i do and say. after i complete most of my sentences when talking to people i say " wait what i really meant to say" or i say "wait nvm" i somtimes thought i should become mute... and its not like i can forget about being hit, i have scars on my hips and no feeling in my right knee.

but i feel a little better now. instead of becoming completly mute, i now like to write. writing is a way for me to express myself in the most safe way. if i had to tell anyone about how much i hate that driver, i would start screaming at the top of my lungs until they burst. but instead i write. its someow better than suicide, i mean, after you read alloud somthing you've written and they give you positive feed back its like your happy with yourself. and being happy with yourself is probably the closest feeling to being loved.

please don't abuse yourselvess .. do somthing that makes you feel accomplished. if you can't feel that way, take a deep breath .. it always helped me

I am glad to see all of you unit against that person. We make a good team!

Now, i read all of the posts, and i see all of your points.
So...

Albus Dumbledore i respect your view and i know that you always have something useful to post. The problem with what that person said was not so much what she said but how she said it. Her tone was insulting and she had no right to post something like that.
I know that a psychiatrist may help, but apart from the funancial reasons (and just to make myself clear, here they are merely paying for our everyday medecine, no way the governement will ever pay expenses like that), it is not easy to open up. If i can't open up to my own parents eg, then i can not open up to a complete stranger who will deal with me like a patient and not like an individual who just needs help. I agree that people should seek proffesional help but if this thread and our support makes them feel better, then i am ok with that. Maybe we can all help ourselves more than a psyciatrist.

book_junkie i am really glad you overcame your problem. You were lucky enough to have a supporting family and boyfriend. But not most people are like that. This is why people turn to this thread where they can find some support. We may not know each other, and i personally, have no idea how Jay, Marcey etc look, but this doesn't change anything. If you can find support somewhere, then so be it!

sarahdaniell0ox you seem to be such a strong person. I really admire you. It must have been hard going through a severe accident and on top of that, having to deal with insults. You know you can always find some support here. I am really glad you found a way to express yourself and i hope that your strength will never go away.

I myself am really happy i met you all, you just give an extra reason to smile for!

Well said Alikista. I only have a couple of minutes, so I will try to write as much as I can.

True. I know that the comment "go see a psyciatrist" was not that bad. However, we all, every single one of us in this thread, know that and the suggestion did not help much. The most important thing about interpretation of anything is reading it in context and within the context of that poster, it seems like he/she is saying "you've got a problem? go get help and quite whining about it, let along contributing a whole thread to it with forty-something pages." Correct me if I am wrong, but that was how I read it in that context. Reading things out of context, especially religious texts, are generally how cults are started. Matthew 24, I think that's the one, is generally the one that starts Christian cults.

Albus. I understand what you are trying to say. But whenever someone, anyone posts anything, say anything, they should realise that their words would be accounted as a whole, not just certain parts extracted and highlighted while the others ignored. And I agree with you. There are professionals that can help and are there to help. But for a lot of us here, there is no means to get to reach for that kind of help. We have people still affected by the decision and will of their parents here, such as Stef and myself, and we have single parents, such as Marcey and Darcy. I live in Canada. We have free general health care, meaning I am actually a lot better off than some others here. But for Marcey and Darcy and McKenzie, who live in the States, each time they walk into a doctor's clinic, they are charged. That's a lot of money for just health for single parents who are trying to make ends meet. Not to mention no one really knows how long psyciatric sessions need to continue before the patient can work out their depression. With money paid for each session.....

I, too, am glad that book_junkie got past her depression. It is the occasional people like that who wanders in that gives us hope. But like you said, it is through the love and support of family and friends that help you along your road of recovery. I believe that for my case, it is my attitude regarding my situation that causes my depression, but it is the lack of love and support that I can see from my family that is the root of the problem. For this reason, I turn to this thread. Here, there is support and love and unity. Did you see how quickly we rose to defend ourselves against a said poster? And the first three posts were by one of the oldest active members here. (Though, I haven't been exactly active active )

I know some friends in the States and though they will help, often, the charge will still go back to the patient. There's no such a thing as a free lunch in the economic world. That's a saying of my people. I really don't believe that by admitting yourself to a hospital and explaining your situation, a doctore will give you his/her precious time, during which she/he could be making money from paid patients, might I add, entirely free of charge.

Marcey! Glad you've posted! My thoughts exactly. Did you know I spent most of my tech class posting that? Sometimes, it is things like this that get me really worked up. Then I got back downstairs to the shop and someone had entirely invaded my seat. Geez....

Gotta run! Math test next! Wish me luck.

~Dianne

i want to apoligize for what i had said before, the reason i said that is because i went to see somebody. Thing in mylife weren't going so great, starting ing grade six i would dry everynight and my parents would tell me to stop bringing attention tomeself. I dont' want to get all into it because it's past and makes me sad to think of how my life was , but recently and incedent happened that changed my life so dramticially it opened my eye so much, and just reading those depression posts really got me mad ,because of how much i appericate life now. I should be more understanding and i apoligize I'll be here to help if you want it.
SOme good books i'd recomend are ,
crank by ellen hopkins
i can't tell you by hilary frank
and an adivse book called the 6 most important desicions you'll ever make by sean covey
look them up and see if your interessed in reading, they might help you with some problems.
i really hope that know one will really commit sucide , it'd be such a sad thing to hear about.
please, im here to help sorry for my my 'spaz' before.
forgive me ?

littlexoxlotte- that is absolutely terrible! (i know you must be sick of hearing this, but I honestly can't help that reaction)
well...suicide is very touchy issue for some...some may think it's cowardice & others may think it's the result of numerous amounts of stress, as well as depression...but everyone has their own reason for feeling that life is a pointless existence...
Personally...I am against suicide, I don't believe that it solves anything...I do belive in facing upto your fears & withstanding the pain (but inside I know I am being a hyprocrite when I say that...)
...I don't belive suicide is a form of cowardice (even though it makes my blood boil to think that people actually have the heart to kill themesleves)...
we can't just stereotype sucidel (ok, I know it's not a real word, but you get the point) & emo people as being cowards...we don't phsically or mentally know the pain some people have undergone & their attitudes & reactions towards to their experiences...so it's seems a bit low & uncaring to just claim them all as cowards...we all deal with our pain in different ways (whether it be physical or emotional...big or small)...we all react differently...some may have the ability to overcome their grief whereas others may not be able to withstand such a succesive amount of emotional pressure...

I agree with Jay, i don't believe suicide is right, but for some people it may seem like the only way out.
One of my friends considered suicide last year, quite seriously. She went through depression and held a knife to her stomach. She's on anti-depressants now, and getting better. But she still suffers from depression.
I still, even now, can't see what drove her to thinking about it, as she leads a happy life, and has almost everything anyone could want. But i'm not here to judge.
My condolences for anyone who ahs had to deal with anything of this sort, it's hard on freinds and family too, not just the person.
.X.

i'm consdering suicide. i almost amde a pact with a mate that's not too happy either.
i don't think suicide is right. and i do not think it is wrong. if i thought it was right i would dead by now but my views are torn and so am i. the thing is i don't want the way out to be painful. i don't have the guts.

wow...have not been here for ages.. not like that matters...
i don't kniow if am depressed but i think it's fair to say that at some point we all get down... for some people it is classed as depression and they are "mentally ill" etc
i don't know what to say other than i'm confused about life and eveything really.
people tell me i'm not depressed. i'm 15 now... this is has all been going on for far to long for me. gee true i was only erm... 12 or 13 when it all started and people have been through down times for longer but when everyday feels like a chore and everyday feels like a lifetime ... you have enough

Ive had a friend that was suicidal. It was so hard seeing her just wither away, and Im so thatnkfull she got help. I wouldnt know how I would live with myself if she had killed herself, because I knew what she was doing.

And we watched Romeo and Juliet recently and everyone kept saying how they thought they were stupid and crazy for killing themselves. But it scared me that I could see it from Romeo and Juliets veiw. If Id lost someone id loved that much, Id freak out too. But i see suicide as a last resort, but ive never really felt I had no where to go. I always feel I should try and deal with whats going on. Even though Im not very good at it.

Hi all,
I have suffered from depression for 3 years.I also see deaths in my sleep and that does not help at all.
It all started when I lost a best friend.She died in a car crash.1 month later my boyfriend died in a car crash.2 month later my grandparents died from cancer.I lost so many people in life that I thought I have no reason for life.
I thought that if people keeped on dieing I would be alone in the world.
I got help,but not enough.I am still suffering from it and I am still losing people I care about.

2 months ago I lost a dear friend because people hurt her.
She told me that I was the reason she did not kill herself before that.
She shot herself.

ok yeah albus i get what you are saying but it isn't easy to get help around here. my mother everytime i mention i feel sad i get told off for being "overly DRamatic" i don't have the support other people do to deal with depression, no one even notices that i'm depressed. if health care isn't free here in mexico going to see a psyciatrist is very expensive. i can't walk up to my parents and say that i need to go see a psyciatrist or i can't just pay for it myself.

i'm really happy for you mandi! you got through it! i wish i was as lucky as you to have someone help me get through it but not even my brother believes that i'm depressed. he calls it being EMO. i didn't actually believe i had a problem before. i use to think that i just got a bit blue. but then a friend sent me an quiz about depression and well i sort of realized it then. it hurts me so much to feel so alone and i do do what you did mandi i blame myself for everything. it doesn't help that my mom also blames me for everything

dianne is right i feel the comfort here that i don't get anywhere else except for church. people here have similar problems as mine and well they can understand me and try to brighten up my day like alkisti does!

sarahdaniell0ox writing helps me so much too! i once told dianne that i created a fictional world for me where i have a mother you really and truely cares for me and doesn't hurt me. i have a wonderful life where everything is accion packed. so i get you! if it wasn't for my writing i think i would have gone insane!

K.Lupin_werewolf (can i call you jade?) people don't know how you feel! they don't know what really goes on inside of you! try to wake up and think a happy thought or try to listen to happy music! it helps trust me!

whoa tori i'm so sorry you've been through all of that at such a young age! i understand what it's like to lose someone! you aren't alone tori someone will always be there for you!!!

well a big hug to all of you! you are all in my heart!

It must have been horrrible to lose all those people who you love.I really do hope you are feeling well.

Well I don't know if I suffer from severe depression but there are days that I don't even want to get up and face the world.
My father is an alchoholic. He's tried getting treatment but he ends up getting drunk again.
I wouldn't mind if he drank once in a while but it's usually every day that he does it. My mom sometimes sais that she can't take it anymore and wants to leave. but I end up convincing her after a lot of tears that we should stay. Recently my father's brother was killed ( the police think that it was over a girl) so his drinking has gotten worse. And a couple years ago he lost his father. So when he is drunk he is always crying over his lost loved ones. When he is sober i ask him why can't you cry when your sober why do you have to hurt yourself by getting drunk. He always ends up getting mad at me and yelling at me that it is none of my buisness. It really hurts me seeing my father in his corner drinking and the music full blast. I want to help him but when i try he pushes me away. I always cry for my father at night. He thinks that i am just being a drama queen and that I shouldn't care what he does. But he is my father I should care! At times I just want to leave because i can't take it anymore either. But then I think he will get worse becasue our absence will hurt him more.
A year ago we left the house for a little more than a month and when we came back it was ok... but only for a while. I just wish there was a way to help him. At night he leaves and i can't sleep in my head i am thinking the worst did he get into a car crash. I love him so much but his drinking is emotionally scarring me. One good thing is coming out of this though I'm never ever drinking alchohol. At school I pretend that everything is ok at my house. I really don't have a "best" friend to talk this to. So I'm glad that at least I can post it on here. I hear stories of fathers hitting their children and i'm just glad that he doesn't. Quite the opposite he just wants to be alone.


But when he is not drunk he works really hard so that I can have everthing that I have right now. He is a hard worker he really is. He is the reason why I live in this big house.
I love my dad but sometimes I just don't know what to do anymore.

sarahdaniell0ox I admire you...and yes, writing a wonderful way of expressing one's self (even if it is indirect) and yes, you are right...the main thing is to be happy with yourself, even if others' don't shower you with affection!
K.Lupin_werewolf-I know what you mean...sometimes it's just like...am I really what I think of myself as...and yes, it's really confusing, I know...sometimes it feels as if, 'why am i wasting my time rotting on this planet'...(i'm sorry...I know i'm not much of a help)...but yes, I know what you mean...
snaperules I know I am probably not the right one to talk...seeing as I have never seen death (well ok, I have...but I haven't really felt the true depth in it...because i didn't even know the people)...you are not alone...the ones you love are never truly gone, even though they're bodies don't exist...they still live inside of your heart...(again, I know this doesn't help...but just remember, even though we might feel alone in our time; they're is always someone with us, deep inside our soul...we still have the happy memories of those who have left)
Stef ahhh...I completely know how you feel...whenever I have tried to tell my mum that I feel lonely...she often cuts me off & starts rambling about her own life...so I have learnt to cope with it myself & evade my confused thoughts without sorting them out...
and personally I find a phsyciatirst pointless...if I can't even open up to my parents, how do you suppose I am going to open up to a complete stranger, who doesn't know me...and will probably end up being some bigshot proffesional who'll demand a whooping fund.
fresh-pickled toad ...ahhh...completely understandable...well...I suppose I can't really advise you much on that (since I have never experienced that)...I'm sorry for my pathetic-ness...
but, yes; I completely agree with you...he is your father & you do have every right to care for his well-being as he does with you...and I hope as time goes by that he will hopefully realise that he's not doing himself or you any good by drinking his problems away.
your story is slightly similar to mine....
well, you see, my mum is diabetic...and she's not supposed to eat anything sweet or high in cholesteral...and me & my dad often try to ban her against it...but being elder to me she has her way...when I tell that's she's not allowed...she just replies with "I am going to die, one day...so i might as well, live up to it"...deep down I admire her spirit, but I also can't help but feel worried...I mean, even though my mum isn't the best in the whole world, she is still my birthgiver & she is still the one true person who will care about me; even if she never admits it.