Hey Nymphe - you're not rambling in the least and are putting up some interesting ideas. I fully agree with you (and have argued in the past) that Ginny may resemble Lily physically - but characterwise she is a great deal like James. I think that in many respects, Lily has been gradually written out of the book, as James (and Harry's admiration of him and desire to emulate him) takes greater and greater precedence.
While I'd shy away from stating that Hermione had PTSD - because I hesitate to medicalise her behaviour even if it
was extremely "out there" - I do think that there is something to be said for the fact that with the exception of Neville and Luna (both of whom are simply marginalised from the text), all of the major 'players' (Harry, Hermione and to a lesser extent Weasley the elder and Jnr. Weasley) behaved somewhat - oddly.
I think it was Krisharose who pointed out on the Harry/Ginny venom thread that the H/G pairing was rather escapist and seemed detached from any context whatsoever. It had nothing to do with an impending war, with danger, Voldemort, or any kind of reality that was pertinent to the Potterverse. It was characterised by a mundane and almost 'extreme' averageness, (high school mooning, jealousy, popularity, PDAs, tatoos and lust) that sat starkly at odds with their actual environment or what we knew of their characters in previous installments.
It really felt like one of those 'alternate universe' fanfictions that are predicated on premises such as "What would Harry's life have been like
if he were just an ordinary boy/
if his parent's hadn't been killed by Voldemort/
if he wasn't the 'chosen one' laden with responsibility? What if all of his dreams came true and for once, he could have a smooth, idealised high-school experience?" If anyone had ever wondered what Harry would be like if he was a big-shot at Hogwarts, Captain of the Quidditch team, dating a pretty, popular sporty girl, and wise-cracking at his most hated nemesis etc. - then let's just say that HBP has provided a tonne of insight into those queries. It was as if JK had ticked off a list of wish-fulfilment, resulting in a weird, dream-like process of 'unwriting' what had been written.
I think that we can safely apply the very same musings to Hermione, where we were presented with 'alternate-reality Hermione'. "What if Hermione suddenly wasn't a brilliant, sensible, self-assured bookworm after all, but was just an average, boy-crazy undistinguished teenage girl? What if she had no interests or ambition in life beyond snagging - or snogging - a guy?" I do think that JK set up this very scenario in HBP.
It went horribly awry however, when both Harry and Hermione's repsective scenarios morphed into an OTT caricature of supposedly average 'teen' behaviour. Ultimately, there was nothing average or typical about the kind of (degrading) extremes that Hermione underwent, or the corny Mills and Boon Harlequinesque behaviour of Harry and his monster.
It was sad in a way, because a large part of why we H/Hr shippers like the H/Hr dynamic is because we also like the individual characters
in their own right for specific reasons. We
liked Harry as a person because he wasn't the coolest, handsomest, most popular boy in school with a gaggle of giggling girls dying to date him, and he also displayed a degree of sensitivity, struggle and insight that distinguished him from the averageness of the Ron's, Seamus' Deans and their dilemmas etc.
And we liked and respected Hermione because while she had a degree of average 'femininity' (knowing whom is dating whom, having insight into emotions and caring about her appearance to some extent) - she didn't allow that aspect of herself to dictate and engulf her entire personality (until HBP). She wasn't completely disinterested in boys (think Krum), but at the same time she had a real (intellectual) life beyond that, and had dimensions to her that went beyond merely dating.
And it was a pleasure to see two well-rounded, yet flawed characters interact, and have a relationship that seemed realistic to many of us. It wasn't all smooth sailing, and blandness. Contrary to what some would have us believe H/Hr has conflict, disagreement, argument, tension and drama aplenty. The beauty of it however, was in the way that they overcame or constructively worked these things out on the occasions that they did occur. Yes, they were well aware of each others weaknesses and flaws and clearly knew and understood each other, and demonstrated a degree of caring. It takes real time, and real interest and effort to get to know and understand someone extremely well. As a reader, that really mattered to me. Yet, knowing each other as well as they did, they had every opportunity in the world to lash out and go for the jugular -
yet they didn't because they actually cared about one another and didn't actively seek to cause the other one pain, or to humiliate one another. (They have that 'respect' factor, that Nymphe alluded to earlier.)
The potential of H/Hr to go further was dismantled in precisely the way that I had always dreaded that it would be. (i.e. that JK would fundamentally
change who they were in order to make them suitable for other arrangements.) So Harry had to suddenly metamorphosise into being super-cool, callous and top-dog, while Hermione on the other hand had to be dumbed out, deranged and turned into a parody of averageness in order to stamp out any flicker of H/Hr and to make the respective pairings that did eventuate even possible.
I think that this is the thing that some people find difficult to understand about fans continuing to like and support the H/Hr dynamic. It's not as though we like them together simply for the sake of it or out of some long-standing idea that we unimaginatively refuse to relinquish. If H/Hr treated each other badly, or lacked any kind depthful connection then there is nothing on earth that could induce me to either like or support them as a pairing.
The other thing that matters to me is that I like Harry and Hermione independent of the other. They have two distinct personalities, each being as strong as the other. I'd like (pre-HBP) Harry with or without Hermione, and I like who (pre-HBP) Hermione is in her own right.
And that's what makes H/Hr work for me. On their own - they're pretty good, but when brought together they became a force to be reckoned with. H/Hr
brought out the very best in each other (as opposed to the very
worst). And yes - that actually makes for
enjoyable reading.
I can honestly say that I like who Harry is as an indivdual - yet, I like who he becomes
when he is with Hermione. I like Hermione as a stand-alone character - but I also appreciate who she becomes
when she's with Harry.
" 
- (if) then our shipper's will be more crushed than ever.. Shouldn't Jo stop the directors from filming so much H/HR interaction? Or does she have another things planned? Most likely not... so, even though I want H/HR moments, I dont at the same time, because I think I will just be more dissapointed by the end of the series..
Gosh, I really must be delusional... I am so mad that they keep so much H/HR interaction in the movie.. come on, did you guys see how Harry looked at Hermione when she peeked out behind that wall? No way was he interested in Parvati... 
And boy will they be in a shockr, when they see Harry with Ginny.. wow, she played a roll in CoS.. yes I remember her.. and then.. 4 years later, Harry is her boyfriend, and they become couple of the year.. uh huh.. so that's how it all worked out eh? And what happend between H/HR, oh, Jo didn't pay attention to them anymore.. it was more just.. 'blah' Hermione kept nagging him about the book, and attacked Ron with birds.. yup.. very great 
)
Hermione gives up a skiing holiday with her parents at Christmas in OoTP to come to Harry's aid.