Good quotes everyone!
X-Girl the first one is hilarious!
beyondtheveil you are a fairy girl!
miss_r_weasley haha i don't watch the show, but this line is great!

Abi, man i can do nothing more but say once again how great Sam is! Especially the global warming one hahaha !

Now some Joey Adams quotes:

A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.

If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all.

Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.

People are still willing to do an honest day's work. The trouble is they want a week's pay for it.

Smack your child every day. If you don't know why - he does.

alkisti... those were funny! I love sharing quotes and here are a couple of my favorites:

"Aerodynamically, the bumble bee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumble bee doesn't know it so it goes on flying anyway." ~Anonymous

"Dont let it end like this. Tell them I said something."
- Pancho Villa (1877-1923).. .. last words

"Life is like walking on a sharp knife, you can fall off of either side. But id walk it again. So what? What if i do fall off? Id rather be doing something i really wanted to do"
-Georgia O'Keefe-

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes. ~Unknown

and finally my favorite

Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and proclaiming...Wow-What a Ride! ~Unknown



PS. I love quotes to live by... can you tell?

I've heard that one before. I love it

Here are some I really like.

Plastic surgeons are always making mountains out of molehills.
- Dolly Parton

Procrastinate now, don't put it off.
- Unknown

Best friends are the people that know all about and still put up with you!
- Unknown

Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.
- Unknown

42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
- Unknown

All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
- Unknown

My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
- Unknown

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
- Unknown

"don't drink and drive you might spill your beer"
- Unknown

I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To.
- Unknown

If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?
- Unknown (I actually laughed out loud for that one, and I'm at work )

None of us are virgins, life has screwed us all.
- Unknown

"Some people drink from the fountain of knowledge, others just gurgle."
- Unknown

"You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter."
- Dilbert

Suburbia - where they cut down trees and name streets after them.
- Unknown

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
- Unknown

OUT TO LUNCH: IF NOT BACK BY FIVE, OUT FOR DINNER ALSO.
- Unknown

That's enough for now me thinks

- Phoenix

one quote, from a favorite person of mine... I have been using quite alot lately is...

"--yet, sadly, accidental rudeness occurs alarmingly often. Best to say nothing at all, my dear man."



Enjoy it everyone.. its a good way to shut those cocky people up.. leaves them thinking.

~Albus

Haha amazing quotes both of you stephg and *phoenixcore*!

Ok, here are some i found:

-When life gives you lemons, you throw them at mean people and hope they get them in the eyes.

-A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

-I love you more than yesterday. Yesterday you really ****ed me off.

-Doctors think I have multiple personalities, but we don't agree with that.

-When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here?
Billy Connoly

-The best way not to lose the train is to catch the next one.

- This 3-year-old kid is home alone, and a salesman comes to the door. The kid answers, and he’s got a **** in one hand, a cigar in one hand and a bottle of J.D. The salesman goes, “Hi, little boy, are your parents home?” The kid goes, “What the f**k do you think?”
Avril Lavigne

-Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
Oscar Wilde

Haha lol!

~ When life gves you a lemon lob it back and demand an apple. X-Girl

~ There are no stupid dreams Billy. Only stupid people who never live them. Mandy The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy.

~ What's comin' wil come and we'll meet it when it does Hagrid GoF

Eh so here are some more of my favorite quotes simply because I love to share.

"Hearts will never be made practical until they can be made unbreakable" Wizard of Oz

"there comes a point in time between the bad hangovers and the drunken heart-to-hearts that you realize all you need in life is a few good friends and a few good drinks"

What you see with your eyes closed is what counts
* Lame Deer, Lakota Sage

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
Mark Twain

We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are
pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names and all are different colors,
but they all have to live in the same box.

wouldnt life be perfect if sweatpants were sexy, monday mornings were fun, junk food didnt make you fat, girls didnt cause drama, boys werent confusing, nothing was regretable and goodbyes only meant until tomorrow

Take Chances. Tell the truth. Say no. Spend all your cash. Fall in love. Get to know someone random. Be random. Say I love you. Sing out loud. Laugh at stupid jokes. Cry. Apologize. Tell someone how much they mean to you. Laugh til your stomach hurts and your eyes water. Live life. and most of all...have no regrets.



AAAAAAAnd that's all the advice I can give you for today.

Ah amazing quotes stephg! Especially the last one, it was great! I will save it to my pc!

Here are some other quotes:

Maybe it's maturity or the wisdom that comes with age, but the witch in Hansel and Gretel — she's very misunderstood. I mean, the woman builds her dream house and these brats come along and start eating it.

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.

And some more serious quotes:

You asked me what was wrong and i said 'Nothing' and when i turned around, i said 'Everything'.


I don't miss you, i miss the person i thought you were.

RoFL those first four are really really funny Alkisti.

~ Fall down seven times stand up eight. Japanese Proverb

~ If you don't enjoy what you have how could you be happy with more?

~ Take all you can, give nothing back. Jack Sparrow and Gibbs, Pirates of the Caribbean 1

~ I'm sure I'm a wizard. My Hogwarts letter is just a few years late from an avatar.

Haha nice quotes X-girl, especially the last two! I love Jack Sparrow and i love more Johnny Depp!

Ok here are some funny Fred Allen quotes:

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.

Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just look ridiculous year after year.

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for a star.

I always have trouble remembering three things: faces, names, and - I can't remember what the third thing is.

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own hand.

What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement?

These are completely insane!

I love this one!
"When life gives you lemons make lemonade,then find someone who's life gives you vodca[sp] and have a party"-Ron White!
He is funny!

lol I love Ron White!!! here are some of mine!

*when life gives you lemons make grape juice then sit back and drink your grape juice and wonder how the h*ll you got grape juice.
*when life gives you lemons squeeze the juice into water guns then spray it in peoples eyes.
*Behind every man is a woman rolling her eyes.
*Don't go around thinking the world owes you something, it owes you nothing it was here first. -mark twain
*It's better for people to think you are stupid, than for you to open your mouth and let them know for sure.
*H*ll has no fury like the rath of a woman.
*Never hesitate if you know it's right.
*Be yourself because the people who mind don't matter and the people who matter don't mind.-Dr. Suess
*Life was so much easier when your clothes didn't match and boys had cooties.
*Little kids say they love someone but they don't mean it like teenagers do. (lol)
*Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust, life is short, so party we must.
*live free, die proud, have fun, play loud.

Great quotes Kelso! Especially the lemon ones, i mean they are so random! How the hell did you get grape juice?

I have some more which are suitable for T-shirts:

-I am busy. You are ugly. Have a nice day.

-I am not the guest. I am the star.

-Men should come with instructions.

-Man on sale. Remote control included.

-Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.

-A rich man's joke is always funny.

-Never insult an alligator until after you have crossed the river.

Hehe...

Life is not about the breaths you take... it's about the moments that take your breath away...

You're only young for a while, you can be immature forever.

"No matter how flat you make a pancake, it still has two sides."

I cant remember the others.

I think i've already posted in this...but o well...

-I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be
- What a splendid head, yet no brain
-Look in the mirror. The face that pins you with its double gaze reveals a chastening secret. (I love this one...so mysterious)
- A crust eaten in peace is better than a banquet partaken in anxiety
- Far away in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead
-There are no traffic jams when you go the extra mile
-The first time Adam had a chance, he laid the blame on woman (too true... )
-A dreamer lives for eternity
-Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everybody agrees that it is old enough to know better
-God helps those who help themselves
-The man who removes the mountains begins by carrying away all the small stones
-A coward dies a thousand deaths, the brave... just one
-Anger is one letter short of D-A-N-G-E-R
-The positive thinker sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible
-Truth fears no questions.

ahhh...those were some of my favourites!

These are all really good especially Alkisti's from two posts back. And the lemon ones.

~ Talent is appreciated but not necessary. Reverend Mother from Trouble with Angels about band membership.

~ A dream is a wish your heart makes. Walt Disney

~ If you can dream it you can do it.

~ I didn't say mutants were hiding. Jean Grey (a mutant to an anti-mutant dude)
X-Men

~ Goblins. Evolutions little joke. Take the stupidest creatures and give them the power to conjure fire. Artemis Fowl: The Arctic Incident.

I have one!

"I'm starting to believe that some things happen just for the sake of being a memory.'

I thought it was preety cool, it got me thinking . That was by me. Today. I'm preety sure it's original, I was thinking about maybe some things are signs, and that's kinda a habit of mine, looking for signs. Dont know for what [Not 'what for', 'for what']though, so I thought why did I even do that. Then I saw a mouse. I was on the bus, and it was going through the desert, and I saw it run by a cactus. Then my imagination started thinking a whole bunch of things for why I saw this mouse. Then I thought this, and formed it into a sentence so I wouldn't forget it. I think that you need at least one thing a day that isn't routine so that it can be a memory. Something that you remember. Not something extremely important. Just something that's there. I remember the strangest things. And right now, I'm thinking about all the mice I've seen.

Here are some quotes by us. Us=The group or family Group=Me, My cousin[s], and my sister.
"There was a skeleton! It was on fire and it was in the closet and it was holding a pumpkin.."
My 5 year old baby brother after waking up from a nightmare. Seriously over-active imagination, and I have the Certificate to prove it.


"I saw Santa Claus. He told me to shush and go back to sleep, so I did."

The exact opposite an adult would do.
"We're in Fairyland!"

By me. This started a 2 year imagnary world. It started when I was 7. My cousin and sister were the princess', and I was elected Queen [I wasent bossy.] because I invented it. It was preety organized for a magical world created by a 7, 6, and 5 year old. My cousin seriously believed we were in an imaginary world at first, as in serious-serious. I just thought it was a nice imaginary world that wasen't real but it was when we wanted it to be.


"I'm FAKE five, not 4 1/2."

"Michael Jackson is a LADY! >:O"

"I thought we were supposed to be mean..."

"You can't be addicted to chocolate milk!"
"You can be addicted to ANYTHING."

"What's rinse mean?..Ooooh.."
My Kindergarten teacher must've thought I was lacking logic or something, considering that the sink was right in front of me, and I was almost at the end of the line.

"You're not supposed to EAT the Mango skin."
My sister was laughing at me. It was the first time I ate a Mango.

"It's not a new year!...What's a year?"

"I love Co-Co-COOLLAA!"

"Wait, how is Cheaty a nickname for Freckles?"
"Well, Chippy doesn't make sense either!"

I was 8. This was about my toy Leapord. Beanie Bag Baby, or whatever you called them. I have no idea why I gave it the name Cheatie, but my cousin's brother [to avoid confusion] named him Chippy. His excuse had something to do with Lays Potato Chips.
"Less is more?!" [this lead to a 2 hour arugement in Costco, which caused many strange looks and giggles from strangers]


"Oh right, we have to ask."

"I hate Yo-Yo's. Wait no, I think I'm doing it! Ahh...yeah, I hate them."

"Is he talking English?" [referring to a rap song]

"I'm NOT takling to you! Did you hear me?? I SAID I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU!!!"
"WELL THEN, SHUTTUP!!!"

"Did he just growl at us?"

"No no, just the speghetti sauce, it's very delish."

"How was I supposed to walk if I have to watch what's in front of me?"
I had bumped into a sign while looking at my feet while walking, so they told me to look up. Then I tripped over the sidewalk thing.



What?...I disagree with this. It depends on the stubborn-ness of the person.

Evolutions little joke hehe! Great X-girl! Btw i used one of your quotes at another thread, i hope you don't mind!

LadyCakeage



I like this one. It is actually true. I mean i have caught myself needing things that had happened just a minute ago and if i had not noticed them, then i would be in trouble. If that makes sense.



Ahh...this reminds me of something a friend of mine had said. We were having a technology class and somehow we started talking about a singer named Tsalikis. So anyways, something happens and she starts laughing and she goes like
'Tsali i i i i i kis....'. Ah that was hilarious. Thank God the teacher didn't throw us out of the classroom.



I love the whole incident, it sounds so funny!

Ok, years ago i was having a private class something like extra hours at house on Physics. Somehow me and my teacher started discussing about Australia. And i had a question i don't recall now. So i go like:
''I wanted to ask you something about Australia''
"Yeah...How come people stand at their feet? I had that question when i was like five you know."
"No that's not it. And man, when i was five, i didn't even know Australia existed! And by the way...dude! Gravity!"
Haha that was funny back then.

Ok some Gracie Allen quotes:

The President of today is just the postage stamp of tomorrow.

When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.

When my mother had to get dinner for 8 she'd just make enough for 16 and only serve half.

hi... *walks in shyly*

erm well i ahve this one quote, it's from this one -off drama thing i saw on tele. it was in like 3 parts.. that doesn't matter.
Woman - Hello you must be Rosie
Rosie - I'm not Rosie
Woman - Then who are you?
Rosie - i'm Nobody
Woman - nobody's called nobody
Rosie - well i am
Woman - why?
Rosie - Because nobody's perfect!!

aww it was sweet as Rosie was this little girl... aww...

Ahh lol i totally forgot about this. Hehe Lol anyway. Alkisti heres more samness.

Sam:(at a squirrel)heerreeee squirrely squirrel. OoooOo come here, come on i wont hurt you.COME HERE NOW! squirrel! I DEMAND YOU! -squirrel runs away, sam screams- I'm a human! I'M THE SUPERIOR! How dare you run away from me! come back here! - turns to dan- some creatures have no respect for the superior speices.
Dan: Uh...............can we go now?
Sam: Dude you're the one whose sitting here talking to me.-walks away-
Dan: Did he just-
Me: yes
Dan: and he
Me: yes
Dan: I dont get it
Me: No one does.


LOl this one i think maybe you had to be there, the look on sams face was priceless.
Sam: Teacher, person, man, lady, dude, mister, Mrs?, DUDe! Man, yo! Hey! Over here! HELLOOOOOO!!!
-five minutes later-
Teacher: Yes sam?
Sam: I forgot.
Teacher: mhmm ok
-10 minutes later-
Sam: TEACHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just rememberd i have to ****!!
Teacher: Why didn't you say so earlier?
Sam:Well i just rememberd right now! -dancing-
Teacher: How do you forget you have to use the restroom?
Sam: IDON'T KNOW! All I KNOW IS I HAVE TO GO NOW!!! -runs out of the classroom-


Sam: I think that there should be a place between Heaven and Hell.
Me: Huh? How?
Sam: Well i mean say a person isn't complety good so they dont deserve heaven , but its not like they went around killing babies, so they dont deserve hell.
Me: ermm....
Sam: like i mean its like god saying " Hmm well you had sex before marrige and lied...alot! so im sorry you cant go to heaven, but you didn't rape,kill,or vote for bush... So to Las Vegas you go"
Me: Las Vegas?? thats whats between heaven and hell?....and why would voting for bush send you to hell?
Sam: yes, vegas is in between heaven and hell and, the reason that voting for bush sends you to hell is...........
IDk ABI IDK! DO I LOOK LIKE GOD TO YOU! Gah Woman! Go Knit me a sweater.
Me: Excuse me?
Sam: Ohh yeah sorry, go knit me a sweater PLEASE.


Sam: I don't like cats.
Ruth: Why?
Sam: Their lazy.
Ruth: So are you
Sam: Yes but I'm cuddly and not hairy, and i don't lick myself. -licks himself and purrs-
Ruth:Riiight.


Ah ok these are some other funny quotes i found.


Plastic surgeons are always making mountains out of molehills.
-- Dolly Parton

If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that!
-- Milton Jones

Kid to his Dad as they watch TV: "Dad, tell me again how when you were my age you had to walk all the way across the room to change a channel."
-- Anonymous

I won't eat anything that has intelligent life, but I'd gladly eat a network executive or a politician.
-- Marty Feldman

Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book.
-- Ronald Reagan

There are only two things a child will share willingly -- communicable diseases and his mother's age.
-- Benjamin Spock

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two...
-- Sir Norman Wisdom

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend on reading it.
--Groucho Marx

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
Groucho Marx

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
Groucho Marx

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Groucho Marx

I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
Groucho Marx

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
Groucho Marx

She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
Groucho Marx

There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook.
Groucho Marx

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
Groucho Marx

Hes funny lol. Always makes me laugh

Ah bless you Abi! Sam is freakishy funny!


I can't believe he even said that! I think Sam is living in his own parallel universe where Sam is the king...lol

I love all of your quotes, they are hilarious! Please put up some more samness!

Ok two funny Dave Attell quotes:

Doesn't matter what you say or do; people can always find a way to call you a ****.

You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire - they're exactly alike.

And some Robert Benchley quotes:

As for me, except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did.

I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.

Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of.

The biggest obstacle to professional writing is the necessity for changing a typewriter ribbon.

[quote name='LadyCakeage' date='Apr 16 2007, 07:34 PM' post='369854']

"I hate Yo-Yo's. Wait no, I think I'm doing it! Ahh...yeah, I hate them."

"Is he talking English?" [/b] [referring to a rap song]
[b]
"I'm NOT takling to you! Did you hear me?? I SAID I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU!!!"
"WELL THEN, SHUTTUP!!!" [quote]
Those are great LadyCakeage.

Cool Alkisti you quoted me! I'm famous! Which quote did you use? Oh I don't mind at all.

~ Do as I say, not as I do. Dunno who said this first.

~ Every father should remember one day his children will follow his example instead of his advice.

Now for the funny ones:

~ He's in his second childhood for, maybe the fourth time?Me

~ 'Now will you excuse me' is a polite way of saying get the heck out of here. Me

I used the Japanese proverb the "Fall down seven times, stand up eight." People liked it! I have written your name i think as well. It is a great quote X-girl!


That is what i am going to say whenever people say i am acting like a child. Mwahaha!

Jack Benny quotes:

Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful woman - and you can keep the golf clubs and fresh air.

Hors D'oeuvre: A ham sandwich cut into forty pieces.

I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.

It's not so much knowing when to speak, but when to pause.

My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.

These people make me feel stupid...

Lol those are funny. Let's see if I have anymore. I do!

My grandfather used to say this to us al lthe time: Is that your face or are you breaking it in for someone?

Flowers are pretty stupid. See it's a bright sunny day out right? Well with this watering can , I can make them think it's raining. It's fun to mess with their minds. Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes.

Ooo! I lvoe Groucho Marx. I cant find any of his stand up thingies. Not stand up, but performances in front of audiences, cause I saw one on TV and the other ones dont seem as funny. Sam roolz! Whoever he is And the rest of them too ..I <3 Calvin and Hobbes.
Anyone ever try to say two things at the same time? I was talking to my friend and cousin at the park, but I was thinking about something else, and I started talking gibbrish while everyone was started being quiet. I was 'talking' for about a minitue, and I got kinda confused cause I noticed I wasent really talking english, and they laughed at me for about 10 minitues.
But anyways..here's an online convo with my friend.

Me: *takes yoor brain*
Me: hah!
Kriss: noooooooo
Me: *drops it*
Me:oops
Me: sorryee
Kriss: brain juice is everywhere!
Me: haha
Me: not too much tho
Me: HAH
Me: jk
Kriss(2:52:42 PM): my brain!! *it starts running*
Kriss(2:52:43 PM): haha
Kriss(2:52:46 PM): HOW RUDE

I kept the time on the last one because she didnt notice I said that for about 9 seconds. haha..I think I'll just leave the AIM names on this one, she's changed her screenname anywayz. I save most of the funny AIM conversations I have. I'm Lozerlia.

plinky1224(6:25:10 PM): so how have ya been urkle?
LoZerLiA(6:25:50 PM): !
LoZerLiA(6:25:54 PM): what????
plinky1224(6:25:39 PM): lol
LoZerLiA(6:26:03 PM): hey person watzhoo talkin bout
plinky1224(6:25:51 PM): urckle!
plinky1224(6:25:55 PM): i dunno how to spell it
plinky1224(6:25:56 PM): lol
LoZerLiA(6:26:47 PM): No no no
LoZerLiA(6:26:53 PM): U called me urkle
plinky1224(6:26:35 PM): i knoe
LoZerLiA(6:27:01 PM): U talking to Julia??
plinky1224(6:26:40 PM): no
LoZerLiA(6:27:06 PM): !!!
plinky1224(6:26:43 PM): shes not on
LoZerLiA(6:27:09 PM): Blog?
plinky1224(6:26:52 PM): huh??
LoZerLiA(6:27:17 PM): AAAH
plinky1224(6:26:58 PM): what?!
LoZerLiA(6:27:24 PM): WHYD U CALL ME URKLE
plinky1224(6:27:13 PM): IDK...cause i felt like it??....why does it matter?
plinky1224(6:27:19 PM): what?
LoZerLiA(6:27:43 PM): LIES
plinky1224(6:27:25 PM): is there something wrong?
LoZerLiA(6:27:54 PM): wait
plinky1224(6:27:32 PM): what did i say?
plinky1224(6:27:38 PM): ahhh!
plinky1224(6:27:39 PM): KK
LoZerLiA(6:28:56 PM): http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfmfuseacti...iendID=84168808
plinky1224(6:29:35 PM): oh my
plinky1224(6:30:14 PM): and why were you guys talking about urkle?
LoZerLiA(6:30:46 PM): eh?
LoZerLiA(6:30:53 PM): Do u not see the suspender
LoZerLiA(6:30:54 PM): s
plinky1224(6:30:30 PM): and why did i call u urkle?
plinky1224(6:30:32 PM): AHHHHHHHHHHHH
LoZerLiA(6:31:16 PM): THE COTTAGE CHEESE
LoZerLiA(6:31:18 PM): THE URKLE
LoZerLiA(6:31:19 PM): THE HAIR
LoZerLiA(6:31:22 PM): THE LICE
LoZerLiA(6:31:23 PM): AAAH
plinky1224(6:31:06 PM): LICE?
plinky1224(6:31:07 PM): HAIR?
plinky1224(6:31:09 PM): huh?
plinky1224(6:31:25 PM): the cottage cheese yes. and the urkle
plinky1224(6:31:26 PM): ahhhhhhhhhh
plinky1224(6:31:31 PM): idk how
plinky1224(6:31:32 PM): ahhhh
LoZerLiA(6:32:49 PM): froze and jk
plinky1224(6:32:26 PM): oh
LoZerLiA(6:32:52 PM): K eh
plinky1224(6:32:42 PM): do you think i..umm....idk
plinky1224(6:32:44 PM): oh my
LoZerLiA(6:33:17 PM): HAHAHHAHA
LoZerLiA(6:33:47 PM): U must be aware of this. Perhaps yoore random section is really close to the coincidence section in yoor brain

LoZerLiA(6:34:02 PM): Like theyve merged
LoZerLiA(6:34:06 PM): *squish*
plinky1224(6:33:44 PM): ewww
plinky1224(6:33:45 PM): haha


This one's too long. I wont post another one, haha..Anyway's, later on I accused her of being an alien, blocked her, and ignored her while in a chat room with my other friend. So she called me and I yelled at her for being psychic.

Flowers are pretty stupid. Haha X-girl, never thought of that!
LadyCakeage i don't gte half of them but it is ok! Sam is a friend of Abilove and he is kind of crazy...

Ok i found some funny parts from some msn conversations:

Maria: Guys seriously! I am looking for the freaking mouse!

Alex: Guys this is Lia! Lia these are...the guys.

Alex: Zisto? Tellas?
Maria: Ote? 11880?
Me: Fortnet? Connex?
Alex: Hey i am not talking to you girls!

Maria: Do chocolates go bad if you have ruined the package and put them inside the fridge?
Me: What? No!
Maria: Are you sure?
Me: Yeah!!

Me: Don't cry for me Argentina...
K: You can call me K too...

Me: Banana IS a colour! Dolce and Gabbana was former Dolce and Banana but he changed it! And now he makes us believe that banana IS NOT a colour!

Me: I am angry. I am ****ed. I am angry. I am ****ed...
Me: I just destroyed my last remaining brain cells.
Me: Ghaddja...
Me: Kkasde
Me: esfd
Me: Oh man...

Hehe!
I heard this quoe on a series yesterday:
Dads are amazing! By the moment they get to be dads, they say "Screw the world! I can make my own people!" Haha

Oh wow, hahahaha [that last one was funny]
My sisters 8th birthday. And the rest are my cousins.

Helen: I'm changing my name to Mary
Me, Bethel: What?!?
Helen: I dont like my name. I'm going to put Mary on my cake.
[later that day]
Me, Bethel, Sammy: MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB..
Helen Yelling: AHH! I DONT CARE WHAT YOU SAY...!!!!
[later that week]
Helen: I hate you guys. I'm changing my name back to Helen..
Me: No you cant do that
Bethel: Too late!
Me: We already got used to it
---
Aunt: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Me: A doctor [this wasent true. It was just the only job I knew exsisted when I was 7]
[aunt/uncle/mom happy]: Howabout you helen?
Helen: I want to be a horse!
Me: What?!!!
[bethel/me laughing]
Helen: Or a dog.
[bethel crying]
---
Helen: YOU GUYS! COME HERE ITS AN EMERGENCY!
Me, Mom: What??
Helen: The batteries are barking at me.
Me:..what?
-- I'm guessing she meant sparking, but I still laughed alot.

This movie Im watching.

Waiter with this Italien accent: You like pie?
Guy: I love pie.
Waiter: I like you. I'm gonna make you nine pies...
Guy: No, dont do that..
[about 6 minitues later]
Waiter: Here you go! Nine pies!
Guy: I didnt want you to bring me 9 pies, where am I supposed to put them?!
Waiter: Hey, you told me to make them for you.
Guy: No, I did not! Now please leave, you're embarassing me!
Waiter:You know what? I'm going to bring you some steaks. [leaves with pies]

It went something like that. At one point the waiter might've said shuttup, but I wasent sure.


"Kriss: It's fantabulous! hahaha..
Me: Fanta...fanta..Fabulous and..
Kriss:..?
Me: Fantastic! Gottit.
Kriss: Ok.."
---
There was a thunderstorm. My 4 year old brother..he was annoying us [haha]
Simon: HEY! What happen!!!?
Me: Nothing..I think the electricity went out. I told you.[to sister]
Helen: *gaah*... Simon, go turn on the lights.
Me: Idiot, the lights dont...Yeah Simon, go turn on the lights.

---
"Socks are life. The more you have, the better your life will be"
Its part true. If you dont have any socks or have uncomfy socks you wont be happy for at least 5 minitues of the day. Only if you have sneakers.

"Someday, I'll be shorter than you. Just you wait! You won't be laughing then!"
This was supposed to be a threat to my younger sister. She's about 4 inches taller than me.

"You're sucking out her happy energy. That's why you're so optimisitic, and she's..not."
One of the theories I made, that I think is true. And if you have two positive ppl, that means that they've sucked someone else's positive energy. The whole world wont ever be happy at the same time. haha..Im an idiot..Hmmpf. Anyways, I called her a jerk for doing that.
"I hate people...hey, where're you going??"
The rest of these, idk who said them.
"Someday, scientists will have a cure for happyness."
"Have you ever considered the fact that we're SUPPOSED to be depressed?!"
"Ok..so where did the 'big boom' come from?"
---
I have a Groucho Marx one.
GM: Are you doing anything tonight?
Lady: Well..no
GM: Well you'll be hungry in the morning.

Haha good trick the one with the lights LadyCakeage! Mwhahaha!
I remember once when my little cousin had come over, he was to my brother's room. My brother had Lego games, which are some things you build together like a 3d puzzle or something. So anyway, my brother did not want our cousin to touch them because he would tear them apart. So haha he told him this:

Brother: Behind this mirror lie giant skeletons...They come out at night and if you open that door now, they will haunt you forever...Leave now that you still can!
Cousin: AAAAAAAAA MUM!!!

Haha i will forever remember that moment. I think that my cousin fell at the stairs trying to get away...

Ok some random lines:

Yeah, man, kids today are smarter than we ever were. And they've got computers, too, which is awesome. They're scary to me.
David Arquette

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any.
Fred Astaire

A lot of people believe in reading reviews. If I get too focused on some detail of what they've said about me, I'm going to end up shooting myself in the foot.
Kevin Bacon

Dude, read your bible. This is what it says is going to happen. The Bible, you know, B-asic I-nstruction B-efore L-eaving E-earth.
Stephen Baldwin

I have a fear of being boring.
Christian Bale

I think I jump around more when I'm alone.
Nicolas Cage

I was always shocked when I went to the doctor's office and they did my X-ray and didn't find that I had eight more ribs than I should have or that my blood was the color green.
Nicolas Cage

Haha...

'If slaughterhouses had glass walls, everyone would be a vegetarian' - John Lennon

'R u on crack?" Then i said " No! Im hi off life! YES! AN 8BALL OF LIFE!!!" - Me and some girl on the internet

'They said all teenagers scare the living sh** out of me,They could care less as long as someone'll bleed, So darken your clothes or strike a violent pose,Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me'- MCR "Teenagers"

'BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, Every time you drop the bomb, You kill the god your child has born,BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM.'

'All the world is gettin with i say, consequences are a lot but hey thats way, thats the way things go'- The Offspring "Hit that"

'Oh my god. I wanna tear you apart, I am walin but im still asleep, Oh my lord, this is much for me, wake me up before i fall to deep.' Action Action "Paper Cliche"

'All i can say is that my life is pretty plain, i like watchin the puddles gather rain, and all i can do is pour some tea for 2 and speak my point of veiw but its mot sane.... And all i can do is read a book to stay awake, and it rips my life away but its a great escape.'Blind Melon "Rain"

' Gosh a police sign you better not cross. is the cop or am i the 1 thats really dangorouse?' Green Day "Warning"


'(Tried to give you warning but everyone ignores me),Told you everything loud and clear, (But nobody’s listening), (Called to you so clearly but you don’t want to hear me)'- Linkin Park "Nobodys Listening"

'You said today, you know exactly how I feel, I had my doubts little girl, I'm in love with something real, It could be me, that's changing!' Interpol , I forgot the name of the song

'in my empty heart. if i wont save me.no one will. i choose not to. my heart is gone' - Maxpotter5647

'Its a lie, a kiss w/ open eyes, and shes not breathing back.Anything but bother me,Takes my pain away. Nevermind these r hard times. I cant let it bother me'

'Lets open up the sky and let the cliches poor.Everything has been executed better b4,8-bit Fantasies, I'm yesterday's technology,Follow the leader, jump off with me....Oh my lord, this is blasphemy. Wake me up before I fall too deep. I wish I had an original thought inside my skull. Everything has been done a million times before.' Action Action "Paper Cliche"

"ok...be honest!: labe-l prep,goth,punk,emo,geek,its all the same... in life...teenagers play the labeling game" - maxpotter

Quotes quotes quotes. ...

In Sicily, women are more dangerous than shotguns. - Calo

Do you spend time with your family? Good. Because a man that doesn't spend time with his family can never be a real man. - Don Corleone

I spent my whole life trying not to be careless. Women and children can be careless. But not men. - Don Corleone

I really like these quotes....dont know why though...

Alkisti- yeah sam does think hes king...of everything really. And yes he is crazy.



Ladycakeage- haha i speak gibberish all the time.





Hah ok well at the moment im watching this movie..

Dude #1: Dude thats the international sing of being wiped!
Dude #2: Dude whats so wrong about being wiped, when is that a bad thing ever?
Dude #1:Hmm good point.
Ha ok lol i thought that was funny


On friday the 13th
Sam: Oh god im gonna die! im gonna die! im gonna die! I AM GOING TO DIE!!! Why don't you people care! I just saw a black cat, and i think i stepped on a crack. Im just broke my mothers back!!!!And i dont think this rabbits foot is working and i can't find a four leaf clover. Why dont you guys care!!
Me: Sam, you've been saying that all day, if you're right shouldn't you be dead by now?
Sam: -gasps- Oh My God. You guys don't care do you?? you don't!! Oh i have such great friends! IM SOOOOO HAPPY I HAVE YOU GUYS!!..........you guys suck. Im gonna die and you'll be sorry!
Dan: Well dude just keep your word
Sam: DAN!! Not you tooo. I mean i expect it from abi, she's the evil spawn of satan, But you!!!
Me: -gasps- Me? Evil! Nah UH!!
Dan: dude...... Shes not evil! shes just extremly weird, and odd and kinda crazy and shes mean, and she enjoys other people's pain.....where was i going with this?
Me:....thanks dude thanks.
Dan: Your welcome?
Sam: Thats it i'm leaving! YOU'LL BE SORRY!!!
Me: toodles.
Sam: OOOH GOD!!!!!! I hate you! i hate you!!


ahh il be back later and ill edit i gots to go.

Ok.

Talking about Hilary Clinton
Sam: Maybe its all a part of Barney's plan to take over the world!!!
Me: Oh yeah. that makes lots of sense
Sam: Ill investigate and get back to you. -walks away-
- an hour later-
Sam: I was with you this whole time i never left your side. we talked about ponies and rainbows. got it.
Me: ......ok

In the middle of history class.
Sam:WERE GONNA TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!!
Class:........
Dan: Were pinky and the Brain Brain Brain!!
Class: ........

Dan: Do you ever wonder what it would be like if we lived in under water?
Sam: We would have gills and it would be super funny when we farted.

They are completely random..... scary sometimes.


ah okay here are some more funny quotes.

Woody Allen

"I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government."

"I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys."

"I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia."

George Carlin

"The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post "Thou shalt not steal", Thou shalt not commit adultery" and "Thou shalt not lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment."

"George Washington's brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country."

"Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof, where nobody can retrieve it."

"Swimming is not a sport, swimming is a way to keep from drowning! That's just common sense!"

"I feel sorry for confetti. Its useful life lasts about two seconds. And it can never be used again."

"People who ask "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there, buddy?"

Emo Philips

"I go from stool to stool in singles bars hoping to get lucky, but there's never any gum under any of them."

"When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me."

"I was walking down fifth avenue today and I found a wallet, and I was gonna keep it, rather than return it, but I thought: well, if I lost a hundred and fifty dollars, how would I feel? And I realized I would want to be taught a lesson."

"I ran three miles today. Finally I said, "Lady take your purse."

"I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face."
I said, "You'll be sorry."
He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?"
I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well."

Life is a screw up,and if you look at my family I am a sho in for the part-Snaperules
There ani't nothing in my genes!-My cousin Callie May.Our Aunt was talking about how she acts and she said it was in her genes.
Its like your drores,its up to ya.-My Aunt Tricia

Okay I have one more from Bio! This one is by Will! We were learning about the menstruation cycle.
Techer:Guys what do you think when you hear manstruation cycle?
Will: STAY AWAY!!!!!!!!!!

I thought it was funny!

hahahha thats a good one ..I have one like that. We're watching 'The Movie' or basically the same thing as that.

Me [covering eyes]: It burnnns...ahhhh
Guy: You're so immature.
Me: No duh, you JUST figured that out?!

Me: I think that I really am addicted to chocolate milk. I felt all weird today cause we ran out. I was all breathless and frustrated and thirsty..I ran to my cousins house and drank milk all day..
J: I think you seriously have a problem. You should stop.
Me: Yoo crazy. Why does everyone think that avoiding a situation will help solve your problem? If you want to get rid of a problem you have to face it.
J:...
Me: Of course I usually do avoid my problems, but it's time I've changed..[continues rant]

*doorbell rings*
Me: AHH!
Helen:..Why'd you scream?
Me: What're you talking about? You're insane.
Helen: Idiot.
Me: See. SEE?! That right there. You're spiraling down a slow road to becoming a psychopath Missy. For only 25 cents a day I can be that abusive psychologists that end up in those acadamey-award winning movies for curing ppl. You want to be famous dont you?
Helen: Shuttup.
Me: Phase two. Avoiding the stress factor. Come on...Dont make me resort to blackmail now.
Helen: Mommy said you cant do that any more or else you're grounded.
Me: Bah. You lose. I told you not to tell me.
Helen: What're you writing?

[I followed her arround and wrote down everything she said]..Of course I stumbled a bit with the words ..I'm not too clear on talking unless the person's fully adjused to my manner of talking [a little fast and mumbly if I'm just in my normal mood..good mood and I'm loud and clear]

http://www.nodignity.com/freaks/quotes/index.html

There are alot of funny quotes there...And if you happen to read the Naked Quidditch Match kinda fan fic..it's hillarious ..Looks like it has a whole bunch of people submitting chapters or whatever, but they communicate with 'Mmails'..The ending sucked though.

[Naked Quidditch Match..At the beginning there's this description thingy] The link said:
The Nekkid Quidditch Match
In honor of Harry Potter, we're going to show you what happens when Anya has too much time on her hands at work.
(There's also the possibility she's just on crack. The tests aren't back yet.)

..Then there was this:

"The following is a work of fanfiction. While we don't normally publish fanfic here at NoDignity.com, this particular piece has been circulating to the amusement of many on the internet because Anya went on strike for a day at work. Enjoy.

Disclaimer : The following was written for entertainment purposes only. All characters named are the property of J.K. Rowling & whoever the hell else owns a piece of The Boy That Lived at this point. We're not making any money off of it (in fact, I'm sure some of our staff would say they're just not making any money, but that's a different story) so please don't bother to sue us, 'cause we ain't got ****. Thank you."

This was on a TV show:
Guy at door to delivery guy- Thanks, Have a nice night.
Delivery guy- Don't tell me what to do!


Ok so we were learning about oxymorons in English class one day, and at the end of the period my teacher was talking about a game we were going to play the next day which would be boys vs. girls..
Mr. Botton- So I have no preference to who I want to win, but, Dear God, the guys better. So please bring your wisdom hats tomorrow gentlemen.
Girl in my class- Mr. Botton, gentlemen and wisdom is an oxymoron.


Thats all I can think of for now.

Here ya goo..

Mrs.Puff: What I learned in boating school is...OH WELL! THE REST DOESN'T MATTER! You've passed!
Spongebob: Mrs.Puff I don't feel like I did anything.
Mrs.Puff: That's what extra credit is supposed to feel!!

hahaha..Spongebob rool-sah..he's so cute ...I had another one but I forgot..

Muahaha i love Sponge Bob Squarepants! Its humour is just amazing, but not the kind of humour young kids would appreciate...Btw, is it true that they cut it in the US because of the homosexual messages it showed?

Here are some quotes i got from Bob:

"Remember, licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets!"

"Did I? Did I Patrick? Or did your criminal mind hypnotize me into stealing the balloon?"
(criminal mind..Patrick has a criminal mind. A criminal...mind. This is an oxymoron HP'sPrincessFiona )

"Squidward this is great. Just you, me, and this brick wall you built between us."

"Oh my god! A floating shopping list! Ahhh!"

Mr. Krabs: "I smell the smelly smell of something that smells smelly."

Patrick: "You mean they're taking the thoughts we think we thought and making them thoughts we think we thought... I think."

Haha you gotta love this series!

Haha I love patrick.... and i was watching it last night so i dont think they cut it. They still show it on Nickalodeon.

Yesterday in class.
Sam: guess what.
Dan: what?
Sam: May 25th is gonna be the most awesomeestest day ever!
Dan: Why? Omg Is that when your ship lands and they take you away for ever!
Sam: No. Thats June 13th. May 25th is pirates!
Dan: Oh cool
Sam: Argh!! Shiver me timbers.
Dan:.....not all pirates talk like that you know.
Sam:Uhm yeah they do.. How many pirates have you met! Gah!

Dan: Ive done it!
Sam: Done what??
Dan: i don't know i was hoping you would fill in that part.
Sam:....you've come out the closet!
Dan: Dude why do you have to bite my moment.
Sam: Yummeh!

Me: Sam did you do that anatomy Hw?
Sam: Yes yes i did
Me: What did you get for the second question?
Sam: Psssh yeah like im gonna tell you! Traitor!
Me: Huh??
Dan: Hes mad at you
Me: Oh ok.whatd you get for the second question?
Sam: HMPH. -walks away-

There's an old prayer i like a lot that -roughly translated- says

May God give me the strenght to endure those things cannot be changed, the courage to change thoses things that can be changed and the wisdom to tell one from another.

About the spongebob is gay thing , I went around telling people that at my school dance last year. I have a lot of proof. [example: He wears mascara and in on episode he and Patrick played mom and dad to a baby clam thing] This one girl responded by telling me that 'Hello Kitty is a P.I.M.P.' Two did actually , and I had an argument with one of them about whether or not he is. It stopped making sense after a while. Also, the new episodes suck. I lurve zeh class-eeques.

And that episode with the smelly quote thing by Mr.Krabs is zeh best.

Patrick: *spits on palms* Open sesame!
He has a really funny face when he does that XD

[Charlie?]I don't know what you're talking about. Sometimes the sheep needs to be pushed out of the fence!
Cindy: What?!
Charlie: Goodbye Cindy.

Scary Movie 3. Pretty sure the guy's name is Charlie.

My sister arguing with my mom after going shopping. I was half-awake [they were loud-ish].

Mom: You bought that?!
Helen: Yeah! Lia said she wanted me to buy her a gel pen.
[me thinking]: *Liar! But I did want a black gel pen..Hope it's black.*
Mom [trying to win argument]: She doesn't like black! She always want's blue. *Tcha!*
Me: *What's she talking about? I like black! I think I do...Yeah I do. Always lieing about Lia. Do they always do this when I'm asleep?*
Helen: Meh.
Me: *Not meh! I want black! Give it to me! I command you!*
[Helen comes in]: Lia are you awake?
Me: * Nope. What's that noise? *
Helen: Here I got you a pen.
Me: *Why are you talking to a sleeping person?*
[Helen puts the pen next to lamp]: And I got you candy. *cackles*
Me: *Woot! I know what kind of candy this is..D*****.Why didn't you get me chocolate?..No this is good. Thanks you liar. I shall not embaress you by calling you guys a liar when I wake up. You got me candy. I am greatful. I hope you can't read minds. Can you? *
[Helen puts candy container in hand]
Me: *Turkey! Fat Head! Ham-Burgler! Meathead! Mercelen! Melon! Lemon! Idiot!..I guess not. I command you to close the door on your way out! *
[Helen leaves without closing the door]
Me: *OH COME ON! Fine, I'm gonna wake up in about..20 minitues..I'm so stupid. Stop thinking like this. Stop! Stop..I can't stop! It's taken over my mind..Aahh..*

I seriously did this. I started thinking like I was writing it down to see if it was funny. Then I thought if she was psychic or CIA or something then she might hear me and take away my pen. I'm very choosy about writing utensils


Here's some from Sylvie and Bruno concluded by...the guy who wrote Alice in Wonderland...um..Lewis Carroll! And Bruno just talks like that.

"Don't imperrupt!" he said as we came in. "I'm counting the pigs in the field!"
"How many are there?" I enquired.
"About a thousand and four," said Bruno.
"You mean 'about a thousand'," Sylvie corrected him. "There's no good saying 'and four': you ca'nt be sure about the four!"
"And you're as wrong as ever!" Bruno exclaimed triumphantly. "It's just the four I can be sure about; 'cause they're here, grubbling under the window! It's the thousand I isn't pruffickly sure about!"

"How far have you come dear?" the young lady persisted.
Sylvie looked puzzled. "A mile or two, I think" she said doubtfully.
"A mile or three," said Bruno.
"You shouldn't say 'a mile or three'." Sylvie corrected him.
The young lady npdded approval. "Sylvie's quite right. It isn't usual to say 'a mile or three'."
"It would be usual-if we said it enough," said Bruno.
It was the young lady's turn to look puzzled now. "He's very quick, for his age!" she murmured. "You're not more than seven, are you dear?" she added aloud.
"I'm not so many as that," said Bruno. "I'm one. Sylvie's one. Sylvie and me is two. Sylvie taught me to count."
"Oh, I wasen't counting you, you know!" the young lady laughingly replied.
"Hasn't oo learnt to count?" said Bruno.

Oh yeah..I live in the past. Haha, or more accurately, in the what-could-be's or what-won't-be's. Or what-should'ves or what-I-should'ves. I more inspired to think off of other people's ideas or stories or things like that. It's hard for me to just inspire myself to think. But when I do it roolz. If this makes sense to you, I hug you very much. hahaha..Basically I'm saying that I..well, if I was going to have to be un-original about this, then I'd say that I have my head in the clouds, or however that saying goes . Even more proof. Reality is too...limited for me. It doesn't sound like fun. This is why I like how this quote fits..'It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live'..by Dumbledore in SS/PS.

Steven Colbert: I used to be a baby once, but you know what? I walked it off.

Guy: What's God?
Other guy: Oh well, you know, when you close your eyes and wish for something, God's the one that ignores you.
Guy: Oh..

-"Give me a window and I'll stare out it." ~Alan Rickman

-"God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference." ~I love that quote/prayer.

~Well i have a million more, but I jsut can't choose what I think are my favorite's to post!

"If the Good Lord had intended for us to walk, He wouldn't have invented rollarskates." -- that's practically my mantra, I love skating.

"I must study politics and war that my sons may have liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. My sons ought to study mathematics and philosophy, geography, natural history, naval architecture, navigation, commerce, and agriculture, in order to give their children a right to study painting, poetry, music, architecture, statuary, tapestry, and porcelain." -- U.S. President John Adams

"Deeds, not words shall speak me." -- John Fletcher

"Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'Press On' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race." -- U.S. President Calvin Coolidge (my great-granduncle!)

"Never knock on Death's door: ring the bell and run away! Death really hates that! -- Matt Frewer, as Dr. Mike Stratford in "Doctor, Doctor"

"If not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled." -- P. G. Wodehouse

"From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it."
"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception."
"I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER."
"Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others."
"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read."
"Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped."
"Go, and never darken my towels again."
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
"Women should be obscene and not heard."
"I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows until you come home."
"Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot." -- all by Groucho Marx

"The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible."
"It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth."
"You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there."
"Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made." -- George Burns

"When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half." -- Gracie Allen

"People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy."
"No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties." -- Bob Hope

"It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes."
"It is no coincidence that in no known language does the phrase 'As pretty as an Airport' appear."
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
"He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife." -- Douglas Adams

Just some of my favorites... hope you enjoyed them.

Cheers!
Hermione

I have a lot of favourite famous quotes but seeing as that's what everyone is writing here and seeing as I like to be different, I'm going to do something slightly different.

"Who would care in a hundred years? We're proud of you and that's all that matters." - My grandma Esperenza.

"Don't sweat the small stuff. It all comes out in the wash." - My mama Benita.

"My family tree is a stick." My friend Sean (haha. he was kidding).

"Live large till ya get large." My friend Caitlyn.

"I promise to never hurt you or make you cry. I promise I'll always be there for you. I promise to keep to safe for ever and for always. I promise to live my life with you. I promise to love only you, my darling, with all of my heart for the rest of my life. I love you, Marie-Elle." - My boyfriend, Ian.

"I've always felt that acting has been an escape for me. I don't have to be Marie-Helena any more. I can be whoever I want whenever I want whatever I want." - Me.



As you can see, family and friends are very important to me .

I'm not sure if any of these have been said before.

My all time favourite quote - I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I'm not. - Kurt Cobain.

Some wise HP quotes

The time will come when we must choose between what is right and what is easy.

The ones who love us never truely leave us.

It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, Remember that.

and some other lovely quotes that I love (mainly from songs and films)

We were not meant to be another face in the crowd - Anywhere but here - Rise Against

There's no 'I' in team, but there is a 'Me' (okay so this doesn't mean much to me but i like it)

Love is not a victory march, Its a cold and its a broken Hallelujiah - Hallelujiah - Jeff Buckley

If you're still searching for these answers, they're not inside your wrists - Heaven Knows - Rise Against

There's more I love but thats enough for now. Some of these really helped me
x

" In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock "


A fave- kinda fits to hp too

"Children, let us not love with word, nor with tongue, but in deed and in truth".

- 1 John 3:18 Bible.

"Do not count the years: make the years count".

- Some card I read while looking for a Father's Day card lol.

A friend of mine read this at a wall:

"Happiness is our revenge".
I thought it was a great quote, what more can a man ask from life?

"Better to write for yourself and have no public, than write for the public, and have no self"

This is taken from a pm at msn from gorgeous_granger:

"Thanks for making me the center of your world"
and
"You laugh cause i am different, i laugh cause you're all the same"

"You're only as strong as the tables you dance on, the drinks you mix and the friends you roll with"

"The best things in life are unseen; that's why we close our eyes when we kiss, cry and dream"

"I am the author of my life. Unfortunately, i am writing in pen and i can't erase my mistakes"
(I wish I had said that)

And that's it!

For any of you who have seen "A Walk To Remember", you know when Jamie gives Landon the book of quotes? Remember when they read the "Love is..." passage from Corrinthians? That's definately my favourite love quote ever! It's sooo being read at my wedding! haha