QUOTE
I talk about people really threatening others, because they like violence.
I am terrified of that, people who take pleasure in violence, people who have so much negative energy built up that they let it go and don't give a darn for the consequences or worse, they
actually like the consequences, taking sadistic pleasure in other peoples unhappiness/sadness/pain. Not simply violent actions but also violent attitudes and language, how people can take pleasure from seeing someone cry or calling them names (bullying) is the same nature that causes some humans to take pleasure in brutally attacking someone to the brink of death- I abhor it and it does scare me.
I always remember the time when I was waiting in the doctors reception, waiting for my appointment to discuss my agoraphobia (ironically), when it came on the radio about 'happy slapping' (which is revolting!) and I just though to myself "
yeah, and I'm considered the sick one for not wanting to go out"
My biggest phobia I suppose is
people and how cruel they can be, although there are many many beautifully nice and moral people out there.
What actually stopped me from going out was the attitude of many people (not all

), that I couldn't seem to go out of the house without seeing cruelty or hearing it
Admittedly after a while, when I heard people laughing I assumed it was about me and it was very much in my own imagination but I still am edgy around people with aggressive behaviour (even if they are not actually being aggressive, simply their mannerism will trigger a response in me). However, I must say that although a majority of my fear was (i.e. 'they are laughing at me') caused predominately by my own lack of confidence, it must be said that it did stem from somewhere, that people can be really cruel.
I was once told about how two young boys ran up to an elderly male homeless person and kicked him in the chest and subsequently beat him - I was outraged, but then I wondered why no one either attempted to stop it or called the police - that is also what terrifies me, that I (or my disabled mother, my father, boyfriend etc) could be attacked with bystanders just spectating
I read about a cat being cooked in a microwave, people who beat their pets/children/others - at one point I was scared to let my cat out because some neighbourhood kids had apparently thrown stuff at one my neighbours dogs - why do such things?
It is this sort of irrational violence for pleasure that terrifies me - although I still detest lesser forms of aggresion (like the aforementioned bullying)
At Uni we have ramps for wheelchair access - however this one particular set from the hall to the dining area isn't very functional (its corners very abruptly making it hard to maneuver), I went for a lab meeting with my group to find them laughing (others were too), I turned to see what they were laughing at and this poor woman had become stuck in the corner - not only did they not help her but they were actually laughing! - I went over and helped, after I apologized for my appalling steering (I was hopeless), we had a coffee together and she said that it happens all the time, that she can even simply drop something and noone will help to pick it up and others talk to her like she was stupid, I asked her how she could not hate people for this - and
she said because she knows that out of a 100 people who laugh or are cruel there will always be one that will be nice and that reaffirms her faith in human kindness - which made me rethinkbut yeah,
people are my biggest fear
Sorry for going on and on, and I really don't think that all people are horrid it just scares me that we do seem to have an innate cruelty in us that some people let free. Sorry for being so maudlin. I do love humankind but that inner violence is scary but like Jane (the woman I had coffee with) said above, there is always an inner kindness too that will always shine through the darkness
my boggart would be of someone I love being hurt (probably because of a cruel person), I worry about my mum constantly
Oh and cockroaches